Hello and thank you again so much. For even reading this, for following, for favoriting and for reviewing.
This is already the last chapter. As I'm finished going over it, I thought I don't need to make you wait another day or something for it. ;)I hope the end isn't too cheesy. Either way, I wish you a good read.
Jade finally spoke again, harsh: "You are an asshole."
She turned around, opened the door and went inside the house.
She didn't slam the door behind her though but left it wide open which Beck did take as an invitation to follow her.
He followed her right up to her room and closed the door behind her.
He wasn't sure if her mother or brother were home – it was late enough that they could already be fast asleep. He didn't want to wake them up if they were, so he asked in a quiet voice: "Why am I an asshole now?"
Jade reacted as loud as expected: "Are you jealous or what? Really?"
He understood her anger. After he had complained whenever she had been too jealous, especially for no reason... Here he was, broken up with her for months, absorbed in his very own jealousy.
But she also had to understand.
"It isn't my fault."
He wanted to explain the best he could about what he had felt but Jade already cut across him: "It's never your fault." She forcefully threw her purse on her bed.
"That's not true," he said, because it wasn't, as he took a step closer to her. "But just the thought of you and Andre..."
He searched for words but Jade snapped: "Oh, but I was supposed to be ok with you and the thought of every single girl that flirted with you."
There it was, their oldest fight.
"I never flirted with them," he defended himself. He didn't, at least he didn't conciously.
Jade huffed, but didn't say anything about his flirting, instead she pointed out: "I didn't want to go out with Andre. Also, you and I are not together anymore."
Beck swallowed hard. "I know. I hate me for following you two."
Jade raised her eyebrows. "You were at the movies, too?"
Beck didn't answer that but of course that was answer enough.
A short, harsh and not even remotely amused laugh, while she turned around, before she said: "But I'm the crazy jealous person."
"You were crazy sometimes," Beck said and Jade faced him again, glaring. He hurried to add: "And I am crazy now. I don't get it myself. But I know that you like Andre..."
"As a friend," Jade interrupted.
Beck nodded. "Which is more than can be said for most other people."
He remembered that Jade had never had anything against Andre. Instead she had always liked how truly talented he was, so much more talented than even most of the students at Hollywood Arts.
Then, he had had that crush on her and had apparently lost a great amount of fear of being alone with her through it. Since then they had hung out much more, they had been much closer and yes, had been actually friends.
It had gone so far that the night of their break up, when she had called everyone else out by their names, she hadn't mentioned Andre at all. Because he had been a true friend to her, without any 'but's or 'sometimes''.
Though Beck also hadn't missed Jade calling Cat 'basically a pet' and that actually being a compliment out of Jade's mouth. Pets were part of your family after all.
"Whatever," Beck continued. "As I know he has liked you more than a friend for a long time now..."
Again, Jade interrupted him, confused this time: "He has?"
He pulled his eyebrows together. "Yes. Don't you know?"
According to her expression she didn't. He explained: "Back then, when he got so weird around us... Remember? We wondered about that. That's when he kind of fell for you. I thought you knew after he sang that song at the Friday Night Concert. I have never known if he had gotten over it but obviously he hasn't. Not that I can blame him."
Of course he can't blame him.
Yes, it had just been a crush on Andre´s part that he had never acted on while Beck was in love with her and had been together with her for years. But now that he finally stood in Jade's room again, alone with her for the first time in so long, he knew he would also still be in love with her in ten years or twenty, no matter if Jade would ever take him back.
Jade seemed even shocked about this discovery, but then she slowly said: "You weren't jealous back then when he..." It didn't came over her lips easily as if she found the mere thought ridiculous because nobody could ever write a song about her or sing a song for her. Except possibly Beck. "... sang that song for me."
"No, I wasn't," Beck agreed. "Because you were sitting right by my side. You were my girlfriend and I trusted in our relationship. Even afterwards, when you started to hang out more, just the two of you. I didn't know if he still felt anything for you. But I knew you didn't feel anything for him. Now, you are free to... to do everything and to try stuff out and I just thought it would be so easy for you and Andre to go there. Back then, you were in love with me and I had nothing to worry about."
They looked in each other's eyes for a moment, before Jade quickly looked away again.
Beck' heart nearly burst. Right there, he had seen it. He had seen that Jade hadn't just been in love with him back then. She still was. Everything was alright. They still both loved each other.
He smiled slightly and took another step forward, while he said: "But of course you were always as fancied as I was during our relationship."
Jade crossed her arms in front of her again and turned slightly away. "I wasn't."
"You were," he said. "You just terrify everyone on purpose, so they won't go on your nerves. But everyone knows that you are close to the perfect girl." Not even close. She was the perfect girl.
And he knew, normally, if they were together and just hanging out, she would ask him with a glare why she was only close to perfect. She obviously was perfect.
But now, her answer is honest and flat: "I am not and everyone knows that."
Beck looked at the beautiful girl he loved so much and silently said: "That's the problem."
"Of course, I'm the problem," she snapped, jumping from a raw and nearly broken emotion to annger like she did so often.
He stayed calm. He knew her. He knew why she was this way.
"I never said that. But you are so great and amazing and I hate that you just can't see it. Of course you get jealous when you are too insecure to know that every person would choose you over anyone else if they had the chance."
He ran his hand through his hair and took the last step towards Jade. He couldn't get any closer without their bodies colliding.
He went on: "I mean... Andre took you on a date tonight and you didn't even notice though he was so nervous when he asked you and there had to have been enough more signs through the whole night. And I thought Andre was extremely obvious with his song back then as well. That was clearly for you and that's when I knew. I thought you knew too after that. But as it seems, I sometimes forgot and still do that you can't see what I see when I look at you. If you could see, you would have easily known about Andre. And you would have never had a reason to be jealous of anyone. Because you would know that I could never choose anyone above you."
Jade looked up to him and said in an almost factual voice: "We broke up." Which had to mean to her that he had chosen someone – or at least something – over her.
And he had. He hadn't gone after her that night. He hadn't gone to her afterwards. He hadn't tried to make everything ok again.
"We did. I'm sorry," he said, never breaking eye contact with her now. "I was just so tired of the fighting. We didn't stop anymore."
It hadn't just been her jealousy. It actually hadn't been that at all. That had been their oldest fight after all and he even had been able to handle the worse phases – and after all had provocted her at least a few times.
But for some reason they had started fighting over everything. They hadn't stopped anymore and it had been too much. He hadn't been happy and he had known she hadn't been happy as well.
"But I do still love you," he softly said and tried a faint smile: "I mean... look at me, being this creepily jealous person, following you around while you are just out with a friend..."
She looked at him unsmiling but as if she was trying to read his soul and probably, she was. He didn't care. He had no secrets in front of her. She was the person who knew him better than anyone in this whole world after all.
"Do you love all of me?" she finally asked quietly.
All her edges, all those traits so many else disliked about her. But he especially loved those. He always had. He had always loved her dark humor, her attitude, her love for horror movies, darkness and weird stuff. He still did.
She was sort of crazy but crazyness was what made life interesting, what made it worth living.
"All of you," he therefore said. "And I've missed you like hell."
A small smile. "I've missed you, too."
And, finally, their lips met again to a passionate kiss that, like so many before, made Beck feel a little dizzy.
"And I love you, too," Jade whispered after they broke apart and Beck hadn't felt such a warmth inside of him for a long time. Such a warmth and safety.
They put their foreheads against each other and Jade's next words are almost just a breath: "Sometimes, I love you so much it hurts."
Beck kissed her again and again. He knew about that.
He hadn't experienced it only this night – although he had felt hurt tonight while following them. He had felt it often before.
Sometimes, when they hadn't seen each other for just an hour. Sometimes, when Jade had told him she wouldn't have time that day. Sometimes, when Jade had pulled her hand out of his to get on the stage in class and perform. Sometimes, when they had just been with each other and Beck hadn't had the words to tell her how much he had loved her.
Finally, they were going back to that.
He knew, they would fight less, would both know that they couldn't handle too much fighting and therefore would do their best to stop before it would get out of hand again.
Their relationship would be more stable because of that. And their love for each other was still so immensely great and deep that sometimes, it would just hurt. In all the best ways.