The din of cheers and exodus from the auditorium simmered down to the lull of the broken HVAC system, whirling in the ceiling. Jak-Jak plopped the announcer microphone onto the splintering wood of the table. This control box needed some major upgrades, among them an infinite snack bar and a Plexiglas exterior, so monsters couldn't throw dismembered limbs when the approval ratings were low.

That particular showing would get phenomenal scores. Although he had cut the feed to the theater's screen, he could still see the hover camera fluttering after the Leonis Caput. The monster was in a sorry state. As it dragged the girl's corpse towards the pile, Jak-Jak could detect a slight limp to its awkward gait. It moved stiffly, and Jak-Jak had to wonder if the beast was disturbed by the smell of its own seared skin.

Megara's death was a pity. That kind of resilience and shear strength—Jak-Jak suspected Axel could have fallen for a girl like that, crushing their local boy scout's celibatic strike. 1 Maybe the poor kid wouldn't die of lung cancer at the age of twenty five if he'd learn to let loose in other ways than smoking.

As Jak-Jak suspected, once the Leonis Caput had Megara's body laid out with the others, it frisked its furs, withdrawing two golden drachma. From this distance and lighting, Jak-Jak couldn't actually see the coins, but he'd heard rumors that the bodies were being properly prepared.

Jak-Jak held off a smirk. There wasn't much of a head to place the coins on. Megara's skull had been cracked clean open. Regardless of the gross fluids and missing grey matter, the Leonis Caput gently closed her eyes, placing the two coins down reverently.

This had started about a month ago and Jak-Jak wanted to know why.

He flicked the microphone back on and started to hum the song from Sleeping Beauty, "I know you, I walked with you…"

The Leonis Caput retracted its two outer knives, leaving only the middle one up and flicked off the camera.

Jak-Jak chuckled, mumbling, "Wolverine did it better."

He almost screamed and fell out of his chair when someone opened the door.

He did when he saw it was The Big Cheese.

"What in Tartarus were you thinking?" Luke snarled. The half-blood had his typical bronze breast plate on and fancy sword at his side.

At that moment, Jak-Jak was contemplating the afterlife, and how—in Catholicism—their bodies were supposed to physically rise at Rapture, so—if Megara were Catholic—she'd be mocked as 50 Shades of Brain Matter around the Second Coming.

When Jak-Jak saw Kelli walking closely behind Luke, he decided to answer differently. "I was wondering if you two were looking for a place to—"

"He—" Luke pointed at the screen where the Leonis Caput was limping back to get the other body. By now, Chris and Mary were tentatively scrambling into the Labyrinth to help him. "—is going on a mission in two days. Why didn't you stop the match or release another monster when the centurion called on the blessing of Kratos?"

"Maybe I wanted him to die. Then I could leave in his place," Jak-Jak mused. "Competition does not breed fraternity among troops. Might you rework your philosophy on how to daddy us, as Alabaster would preach in so many eloquent words."

Luke growled, but it sounded like a kitten after listening to the Leonis Caput's menacing purrs.

Jak-Jak rolled his eyes, forgetting Luke's humor was disappearing with each half-blood they got on their side. "What's the big important mission? Are you finally sending the Triple A's after Percy? Or—oh! His mother! I had one of the little ones do some research. We have her address and Percy is too stupid to stay close enough to guard he—"

Luke smacked Jak-Jak across the head. "I do not need help taking care of Percy. We do not need his mother. And you are still in trouble for putting our unit of commission for a month."

Jak-Jak rubbed his cheek. "Collateral damage. The monsters do it all the time. They're always 'accidentally' eating half-bloods."

"We do not," Kelli chided. She'd stepped further into the room, looking a real stunner with stilettos and a tiny black dress. When Jak-Jak stared at her skeptically, she waved a hand, "Well, just once in awhile."

Luke frowned. "I don't like when you joke about that."

Jak-Jak released a low whistle. "My bet's with Pax. She's going to eat your naïve ass. And we'll all be laughing."

The scowl returned to Luke's face. He pointed at the screen. "You better make sure he's okay to fight by tomorrow, or it's your head I'm coming after."

"Oh, I'll go sing him a pretty lullaby to put him to sleep," Jak-Jak smirked.

"And don't pull any more of these so close to an assassination. I need that Roman senator taken out. If you do this again, I'll shut this down," Luke threatened.

That sounded about as hollow as Jak's soul. He leaned back into his chair. "A loitering army is a bored army. A bored army is a dangerous army. Especially with scrumptious half-bloods looking so yummy to monsters." He winked at Kelli.

Kelli giggled.

"You'll want to keep those monsters entertained somehow," Jak-Jak said. "Besides, I think you should present this to Antaeus. He already agreed to let us recruit monsters using his arena, but showing him these babies—" Jak-Jak patted a flash drive that stored past hunts. "—might be just what we need for him to allow us through that portion of the Labyrinth."

Luke's scowl darkened. He took Kelli's hand and turned to leave. "We're not discussing this. Just get him healed."

As they left, Jak-Jak softly sang RadioHead's "We Suck Young Blood," probably setting the appropriate mood for Kelli and Luke's cute little rendezvous.

Then he whirled back to the camera. And on this eve, two more Romans find their place in the nightmares of a beast. Jak-Jak grinned, thinking how much a waste the Leonis Caput was in the Labyrinth. If he had his way, this monster would be unleashed from the rumors of Rome and into the daylight of Camp Half-Blood. If everything went well when they infiltrated Camp Half-Blood through the Labyrinth, then he'd have his way.

1 Most of the characters mentioned are from my series Traitors of Olympus and will be further discussed in other Tales from Mount Othrys. If you're interested, please check them out! :D

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