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Chapter 2: Useless Garganta

The Garganta, a spiritual pathway connecting from Hueco Mundo to other worlds. This pathway are usually used by the Arrancars. Currently we find our two heroes (Ha!) falling down into the depths of the Garganta. The smaller of the two Arrancars seem to be in deep thought, while the larger one has a huge smile on his face laughing like a mad man.

"Hahahahaha! Ulquiorra isn't this fun? This is like one of those amusement park things the humans have. Remember the time I blew up one of them? Good times. Hahahahaha!" Yammy joyfully shouted.

Ulquiorra just kept on his never changing blank face.

'Well at least one of us is having a grand time' Ulquiorra bemusedly thought. 'Onto a different note though, this definitely did delayed the success on my mission. It shouldn't be a problem once we reach whatever world we end up in, we'll simply create another Garganta and return to Aizen-sama.'

"Hey Ulquiorra I can see the light!" the giant pointed out.

The fourth Espada looked at where his idiot of a partner pointed towards to. To his amazement Yammy was correct, for once.

"Excellent the sooner we're out of here the better" Ulquiorra replied.

As they reach closer to the opening Ulquiorra could see a blue sky.

'The human world? Strange I wasn't expecting to backtrack there' Ulquiorra shakes his head a bit. 'Doesn't matter we'll just create another Garganta once we arrive at the human world before anyone engages us.'

Finally going through the opening both Ulquiorra and Yammy created a Reishi platform to stand on. They gazed at the town below them.

"This doesn't look like that one place where I was winning against that ninja girl, Ulquiorra" the frowning brute said.

"Yammy, the human world has more than just one town you fool. This is obviously a different town, lucky for us we wouldn't have to worry about any attacks. Anyways come Yammy we're leaving now" Ulquiorra said, deciding on ignoring the comment about Yammy winning that fight against Yoruichi.

"What?! But Ulquiorra I want to kill people!" Yammy half angrily begged.

The fourth Espada turned around and stared at the giant impassively. Knowing well not to piss off Ulquiorra, Yammy submitted while pouting. The emotionless fourth Espada kept his stare at the giant for a few more seconds before moving his gaze back to the town.

'You're no fun' the pouting giant thought.

The fourth Espada brought up his arm and flicked his finger to create a Garganta. The strange thing is he couldn't. He attempted it again and again, but it still didn't open up. Ulquiorra just stood there motionlessly still with his arm up, eventually he slowly brought his arm down. He then looked at Yammy then the ground and back towards the direction where the failed Garganta spot was.

…

…

…

The Espada isn't one to show anger both from the outside and the inside. But this shit right here slightly pissed him off for a reasonably good reason. Though as usual one wouldn't know if he is angry since his face shows zero emotion.

'The fuck…' a frowning Ulquiorra thought. 'A Garganta that wouldn't open up? Maybe the Shinigami's somehow closed it up to prevent anymore surprise attacks.'

Yammy impatiently waited for Ulquiorra to do anything. He did wonder why his partner just suddenly brought up his arm and started flicking his finger to the air. To him it looked like Ulquiorra was doing some kind of finger flicking trick.

'I wonder if he's trying to do a magic trick. Oh, maybe Ulquiorra wants to show me a new technique that uses the mighty power of the finger! Like some kind of fingering attack' the giant nodded his head, agreeing that yes his best buddy must be trying out a new move before showing it to him.

"Yammy, it seems that we cannot for some unknown reason open up a Garganta. For now we'll just lay a low profile until Aizen-sama notices that we haven't arrived back. Understood?" Ulquiorra ordered.

"So does that mean we can kill people? Because I badly want to kill something, like wanting to slap Barragon in his smug prick face kind of bad thing" Yammy begged.

"Great idea Yammy, why not we go around the planet and just start slaughtering the pieces of trash for our amusement. This truly is one of your finest ideas you have ever spoken about" Ulquiorra sarcastically saying this still with a blank face.

"Yay!" the brute cheered. "I got an idea why not we have a cero game! The most kills with a cero wins!" Yammy said like an excited five year old jumping in joy.

Ulquiorra stared at Yammy before looking up at the sky. He's a little shocked that Ulquiorra was actually expecting his partner to notice the sarcasm. Then again the brute is remarkably moronic...

"Yammy, you should know that I was being sarcastic. It pains me to say on how small your brain is, probably the size of an ant. You truly are one of a kind, an unintelligent giant. Congrats on winning first prize in being the most thickheaded Arrancar to ever be born and to be paired up with me no less, lucky you" Ulquiorra insulted before turning around and started to descend to the town.

"Sounds like someone needs a nap…" Yammy muttered before following Ulquiorra.

They both landed on top of a warehouse. The fourth Espada casually walked to one of the edges of the warehouse and looked down. He looked back up and gaze at the town.

'Hmm… The Garganta might not activate for a while or ever, but we can still set up a temporary base and observe our enemies. Maybe I can find some interesting trash for Aizen-sama to use at his leisure. And…' Ulquiorra turned around slightly and watch as Yammy is currently picking his nose. 'Maybe Yammy might be an obedient dog and stay quiet for once' Ulquiorra thought.

"Ulquiorra! I'm bored!" Yammy shouted.

'Ahh… there goes my ears, lovely' the fourth Espada bemused.

"How about you stop from picking your nostrils first?" Ulquiorra requested.

Yammy understanding his best buddy's request stopped picking his nose, just before pulling out a meatball size booger and flinging it towards a flying bird passing by. Rest in peace birdy….

"Well now that you're done picking your nose for a bounty of mucus, which is incredibly revolting to watch" Ulquiorra pointed out to the endless buildings surrounding the town "We'll create a temporary base until we reunite with the great and mighty Aizen-sama. We shall use this base of operations for mostly spying. Do you understand? Or should I repeat this in simpler terms?" Ulquiorra half tauntingly said.

The brute scratched his chin a little having a confused face. Ulquiorra inwardly raged because of his comrade's lack of understanding. Sometimes he wonders why he put up with this idiot, just to remember that Aizen-sama said only he can endure the wraith of the brute's stupidity.

"In simpler terms we are going to create a base to stay in for a while" Ulquiorra clarified, knowing Yammy's ant sized brain he left out the information on spying and other details.

"Okay" the brute agreed.

"I'm happy that you finally understand my plan you imbecile. Can't you tell by my facial expressions?" Ulquiorra saying this while jumping off the warehouse and landing on the ground perfectly. Yammy followed Ulquiorra also jumping down, he might have used a bit too much force. When he landed the ground shook a little and there were cracks left behind.

'There's a thing called holding back he should seriously try it out sometimes…' the smaller Arrancar bemused.

Ulquiorra began his walk towards the center of the town followed by the giant brute. They passed by a few houses all of which looked average and dull. The silent walk through the town was a nice change of pace for Ulquiorra, he could really get used to this maybe this shit wouldn't be so bad.

"Ulquiorra, I got to piss and shit right now" Yammy said.

And just like that the fourth Espada's happy time ended, woo.

"Thank you for telling me this, Yammy" Ulquiorra said.

"Hey Ulquiorra!" the brute said.

"What?" Ulquiorra asked.

"Are we there yet?" Yammy asked having a shit eating grin on his face.

"No" Ulquiorra replied.

"Are we there yet?" again Yammy asked.

"No" the fourth Espada said again.

"Are we there yet?" third's time the charm.

"No" slowly getting annoyed thanks to Yammy.

"Are we there yet?" Yammy again asked happily.

"No" Ulquiorra said pissed off.

"Are we ther-"Yammy was interrupted before he could finish his question.

"No!" Ulquiorra said with a slighty raised voice. "Yammy, please could shut up for once? Because if you don't I might do something I'll surely regret" Ulquiorra said.

"But Ulquiorra" Yammy said causing the fourth Espada to look at him. "Are we there yet?" the giant asked cheekily.

Ulquiorra stopped walking and turned around to Yammy. His idiotic partner stopped wondering why they suddenly stopped. He was about to ask why, but was bitch slapped to the ground.

"I know this might sound difficult, but could you stop asking that idiotic question?" Ulquiorra demandingly asked.

The giant got up back to his feet and stood just to get bitch slapped back to the ground.

"Understood?" Ulquiorra calmly asked.

"Yeah fine whatever…" Yammy muttered.

Ulquiorra knowing that this'll be the best answer he'd would get, he allowed Yammy to stand up before continuing his walk as if what just happened didn't happen at all.

'Prick…' Yammy thought.

As if Ulquiorra could read minds he turned his head back to Yammy and stared at him.

'Holy shit he has mind reading powers, I want mind reading powers too!' the brute thought jealously.

The two Arrancars continued there walk through the town. Thanks to a certain giant the fourth Espada peace and quiet vanished since his partner wouldn't shut the hell up.

Sighing Ulquiorra kept on walking 'Aizen-sama, I'm usually never the begging type of guy, but if you can hear me. Please save me from the clutches of Yammy's moronic behavior' Ulquiorra thought.

Author Note: I hoped you enjoyed this chapter guys. Not much else happened in this chapter besides Yammy being a dumbass. The next chapter is where things get good so please be patient.

Funny thing is that I wanted to post this chapter Friday, but I got too lazy just to get on my laptop and post this finished chapter. So I decided I'll post this chapter on Saturday and I'm sure you know what happened right? Well you're probably wrong since it wasn't because of laziness that prevented me from posting yesterday. No, what forced me to post this today instead of Saturday were my cousins coming over. So yeah there's my little excuse on why I didn't post this Friday or Saturday.

Anyways go ahead and review, tell if I had done well this chapter, made mistakes on anything, or you're disappointed in me. Doesn't matter what just do it! Or not since I have no control over anyone, sadly. Peace!