Her first New Year's Eve without him had also been the last New Year's with her mother. The world around her had been so ready to embrace the new year and everything it had to offer. They'd all been filled with a renewed since of hope that this year was finally going to be "their year." Their year for love and money and happiness.

But 19-year-old Kate Beckett had not been ready for the new year. She'd been too busy missing her best friend and fighting with her mother. Something that would inevitably come to haunt her nine days later when she learned that she would never get to utter a single word to her mother again and that her best friend was still nowhere to be found.

And that was how her wish making started. When she was 20 and the clock struck midnight on the new year, she found herself wishing that her dad would get over his alcoholism this year. That she could maybe at least have one parent back if she couldn't have them both.

She can't place the exact year that her wishes started to become about Rick. Perhaps it was as early as 22, when she had no one to kiss at midnight at the party she had been roped into going to. And she was feeling lonely and sorry for herself, missing the one guy who had always been there for her...until he wasn't. Perhaps it was a couple of years later, when she witnessed one of her friends get engaged during that very first minute of the new year. When that feeling started to form in her gut that she would never find anyone like that for her. That she would never be more than a cop chasing the ghost of her mother's murder, pushing away everyone who tried to get close to her.

But she does remember the year that wish finally changed. How after years of wishing he'd just come back into her life, he'd appeared in her laundry room. And how, despite her best efforts to fight it, she'd wished for them to fall in love all over again on that particular midnight.

And now that she has him, now that his ring is on her finger and the early stages of their wedding planning has begun, she no longer knows what to wish for. For the first time in a long time, she's genuinely happy, and actually looking forward to a brand new year.

Two Years Later

He finds her out on the balcony, away from the party, the tiny flakes from the gentle snowfall clinging to her hair and coat. He slips his arms around her waist, his hands coming to rest over her stomach, still too enthralled with her pregnancy news.

"Making your annual wish?" Rick asks, burying his nose against the scarf at her neck.

"Wishing for alcohol right now is bad right?" she asks softly. "Because if I can drink, it means I've lost the baby?"

His chin falls to her shoulder. "Kate, is everything okay with -"

"The baby is fine," she tells him, nudging his head with her own. "As far as I can tell. Just craving champagne more than usual this year is all."

"I can drink enough for the both us if you tell me what's bothering you," he suggests, attempting to lighten the mood.

"I don't see how you getting drunk on champagne is going to help me."

"Well it leaves less available for you to drink and umm -"

"Yeah, that's what I thought," she laughs lightly.

Rick readjusts his head on her shoulder. "You know, being a red wine lover like you are, I didn't think you were that big of a fan of champagne. It's a lot closer to whites in taste. Is there a reason for this craving?"

She hesitates like she wants to say something, but isn't quite sure how to phrase it. She shakes her head, letting out a sigh as a response.

"Hey, it's okay if you don't want to talk about whatever it is," he assures her. "But if you do, I'm always willing to listen."

She maintains her silence a little while longer, the falling snow starting to pick up its speed around them.

"I don't know how to do this without her." Her voice is quiet, thick with the onset of tears.

He realizes immediately that this is about Johanna. That despite her learning how to cope with this time of year and actually enjoy it again, the thought of bringing a baby into this world without the support system of her mother is starting to get to her. And he knows his wife too well to know that platitudes like "you still have your father" or "my mother will be more than happy to help with anything you need" will only fall flat to deaf ears. Even his reassurances about his experiences raising Alexis will do nothing to benefit the situation.

"We'll figure it out," he answers lamely, still at a loss. "You're going to make a great mom."

She doesn't say anything, her only movement being the shiver that runs through her.

"Why don't we go back inside?" Rick asks gently. "It's freezing out here and the snow is starting to get worse."

"You know there's probably a million people standing in Times Square right now, waiting to watch the ball drop. And they've been there all day long. Pregnant or not, I think I can stand a couple more minutes out here away from the crowd."

He tightens his arms around her, trying to at least stop her from shivering if her stubbornness is going to keep them out here. She sinks back against him, like she's trying to apologize.

"Kate -"

"I was fine," she keeps talking. "But the closer it gets to midnight, the more I keep thinking about that stupid wish thing and how it all started to begin with. And I just started to feel like I couldn't breathe and I had to get out of there. I know that we're going to be fine. I know that I'm capable of doing this without her. But I don't want to. I didn't want to get married without her at the wedding and now I don't want to have this baby without her at the hospital."

"Well," he starts slowly. "We left an empty chair for her at the ceremony and the reception. We could save her a spot in the waiting room?"

She laughs at that and he finds himself trying to remember what the pregnancy hormones had done to Meredith's emotions. This was normal, right?

"You know what I mean," Kate answers on a sigh.

"I don't actually. You lost me with your vast myriad of emotions over the past ten minutes."

She tugs at his arms to loosen his grip, so she can spin in his embrace to face him. Her hands come up to cup his face as his settle back on her hips.

"To summarize: I miss my mom, I want alcohol, and pregnancy does weird things to my emotions."

"Okay well now that I'm caught up, might I offer up some advice?"

"Go for it," she nods.

"You're allowed to miss your mom. I miss her too, probably not in the same way, but I do. You don't have to make a wish every New Year's just because you've been doing it since you were 20. You're at a good place in your life right now, and to my knowledge, you don't need anything to change. If you still really want to make a wish, wish for a healthy baby. I again offer my services to drink your share of champagne for you. And as long as you don't start hitting me, I think I can handle the mood swings."

"You've done this before, haven't you?" she asks, burrowing into his chest.

"The pregnant wife thing? Yes, yes I have."

Kate shakes her head against his chest. "No, I mean talking me down from a freak out. Didn't need the reminder that I'm number two."

He hears the teasing in her voice, but has the need to reassure her none-the-less. "Hey now, I loved you first. Don't forget that."

"How could I ever? Unless you and Meredith were sharing juice boxes in Kindergarten before I met you."

"Oh close, but it was actually animal crackers in third grade."

She lifts her head to look up at him.

"You know I'm kidding, right?"

"Yes," she replies, finding a way to slip her hands into his coat pockets.

"You're freezing. Let's go inside."

"In a minute," she mumbles against the lapel of his coat.

"Why are you so fascinated with being out here tonight?"

"Nothing to do with being out here. Everything to do with being alone with you."

"Hey, I thought you wanted to come to this party," Rick says, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"I did, but -"

"It is far too early in our relationship for us to become one of those couples who stay at home all the time and never go out and socialize."

"I think you need to reevaluate your definition of the word early."

He smirks, making another attempt to nudge her back inside. "If you want to leave, we can."

"At five til midnight? I'm not ringing in the New Year in the back of some cab."

"Well I don't think I can last another five minutes standing out here in the snow."

"Wuss," she smirks back, finally pushing past him back into the building.

The warmth of the building is welcoming as he follows his wife back over to the coat racks. He helps her out of hers, taking a moment to marvel at the way her dress accentuates his um..favorite features.

"You still gonna look at me like that when I'm fat?"

He shakes his head, trying to knock away his dirty thoughts.

"Not fat, honey," he corrects. "Pregnant with our child. And yes. I will always look at you like this."

She tosses him a look full of skepticism, before leading him back out onto the dance floor. Some upbeat pop song is playing as the crowd dances away the remaining minutes of the year.

"So what do you think?" Rick asks, twirling her around. "Are you ready to take on another year together?"

"It's going to be a pretty big one," Kate laughs as he twirls her into a dip. "Come September we won't be able to sleep anymore."

"Hey, Alexis was very good about sleeping through the night pretty early on."

"Yeah, but, Babe? She doesn't have any of me in her."

"Good point," he nods, pulling her back against his chest. "Better sleep while we can."

She hums, curling into his side as the music dies away and people start counting down the remaining seconds until midnight. As soon as the clock strikes 12, the room erupts into cheers as Auld Lang Syne starts playing. She pulls him in for a kiss, lingering against his lips.

"Wanna know what I wished for?" Kate whispers in his ear.

"Doesn't that make them not come true or is that only for birthday wishes?"

She ignores his commentary, telling him anyway. "I wished that our kid never has to make New Year's wishes. That they're happy and they don't lose either of us until we're - oh I don't know - 90."

Rick leans in to kiss her again. "That's a good wish, Kate. Really good."

"Don't leave me until we're 90, okay?"

"While I know writing is a very dangerous profession, Detective Beckett over here -"

"Rick."

He stops, moving his hands up to cup her face. "I won't die if you won't."

She smiles, leaning into his touch. "Is that your New Year's wish?"

"For you to be careful on the job? Yeah, yes it is."

"Then consider it done"

"Good," he smiles, leaning in to kiss her once more. "Happy New Year, Kate. Here's to making it the best one yet."