Author's note:

Sorry this update took so long, I re-wrote this chapter like 20+ times before I was finally okay with it. Good news though: because of that, the prior two-shot just evolved into a short story. The description has been changed accordingly.

Anyways, enjoy this new part, which is very "Carm feels" centric.

It had been worse than the coffin; watching Laura cry her eyes out and not being able to help her. What I fool I had been, to think that with killing Maman, the bad days were finally over.

Most of the time that I had been reduced to one giant hanky, I hated myself. Laura had always known me as someone sarcastic – cynic, even – however, that damn defense mechanism, I had worked up right after Ell to save myself more heartache, had never felt so wrong before.

I still did not know, what I had said or done to bring the both of us into our current situation. Nevertheless, there was one thing I knew for certain: I never ever wanted to see Laura cry like that again. Period.

Sometimes, the amount I cared about her scared me to death; despite being dead already.

Laura exhaled against my neck all of a sudden, the used-up oxygen feeling like a dragon's breath against my sensitive skin. At least she has calmed down now; it had taken 42 minutes. 2520 seconds – yes, I had counted – of an utmost feeling of heartbreak, before my little cupcake had finally stopped crying.

The only thing that kept bugging me about it, was the fact that it sure looked like she just had no more strength left to do it. Which was the reason I had closed my eyes some time ago, too, but had never seized to run the hand, that had crawled under her shirt, up and down her delicate spine. Despite the fact that Laura was seemingly vast asleep right now, she was still trembling.

Thunder crackled once more and I felt a sudden burst of anger rushing through my veins. I could have sworn that my fangs popped out for just this one moment of lost self-control. Too bad vampires were not able to kill nature phenomena, I thought. Otherwise I would have done it already.

Out of spite – or at least I thought so – the thunderstorm worsened dramatically as several quick flashes of lightning traveled through our dorm room. Of course, they were also followed by heavy drum rolls of thunder, that had the power to wake the dead; I was barely surprised when I suddenly heard a light mumble.

"Sorry ...", the raspy voice said and I frowned. If it were not for my heightened vampire senses, I probably would have missed it altogether. I stopped rubbing her back for a moment to give her a light squeeze for added pressure intensified the previously faint sound of her steady heartbeat. How come this version of "Laura in a thunderstorm" was so much calmer than the one I had seen just an hour ago?

I looked down to where the tiny human's head was resting against my shoulder and stared right into her beautiful, but still teary and awfully tired eyes. The flashing lightning made sure that I saw it all. Even the slight droop of the corners of her mouth, that was so very much unlike her.

Laura looked defeated, it occurred to me. And I had never seen the normally chipper and overeager journalist major like this before. Not even when the dreams from being marked as a sacrifice had plagued her or when we had no idea how to defeat the Dean. Her eyes were bloodshot and looked like they hurt from just being used. Also, the more I thought about it, the more I noticed that Laura's normally feather light body felt like dead weight against me right now.

All in all, the girl I loved had a shocking resemblance to someone who had very nearly been sucked dry by a vampire. The thought alone made me shiver.

My left hand continued to rake over her back while I lifted the right hand from under my head to brush some hair behind her ear. Laura turned into the touch and ended up facing away from me as she buried her right cheek into my left shoulder once more. I felt her hands, that were tangling loosely besides our joined bodies before, settle at my waist to draw very light circles with her thumbs.

All the while, the storm raged above our heads and I could not help but wonder, what had changed; why both of us seemed so calm right now.

"I'm so sorry." Laura mumbled again and brought me out of those thoughts before I could dive any deeper. I put my free hand to her lower back, too, hugging her lightly and bringing us so close together that I felt like sharing her heartbeat now.

"Stop that." I said more sternly than intended. "You don't have anything to feel sorry for."

"Everyone always says that ...", Laura replied. It was once again rather silent, but the huskiness from before was still present and helped me to understand the near whisper.

I stayed silent for a moment, which was good, because the roar of thunder would have swallowed any of my next words anyways. Once the thunderstorm kept quiet again, I made a choice. I was not good at the whole "feelings thing", but I could try.

For her, I was willing to do anything.

"Hey Laura?" I started and got a soft hum in reply. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I watched the brunette carefully and thereby did not miss the way she closed her eyes slowly, but then squinted them aggressively to keep them shut. Her whole body tensed up, so that I, in response, loosened my grip around her. A bad feeling, that maybe this was not such a good idea, spread in my lower stomach, but I remained silent and kept watching her.

There was so much to learn. Like the way she almost unnoticeably bit the corner of her lower lip and her thumbs changed from drawing circles on my hip bone to soft taps against it. There was an obvious discomfort in all these actions that really wrecked my heart, but at the same time, I was looking at the most beautiful creature I had ever seen; Laura had always been bittersweet to me.

"While I might not be an expert with the whole "expressing your feelings" thing, I have been told that I am a pretty decent listener." I added, then forced a smirk. "Especially the "pretty" part."

Laura remained silent; another joke gone wrong.

God. Mother had been so wrong about me being like stone and not having any feelings at all. If this – if Laura – could affect me this much, and transform me from the happiest being on earth into a sad little sack full of guilt and remorse, in a matter of seconds only, then there is no way in hell that I was unable to feel.

After another minute of silence, I started to accept the obvious; the brunette did not want to share the reason for her misery with me. Which should have been okay, considering I was not one for sharing everything myself. However, I still felt like I was failing her. Like I should be there for her, but was not, despite already holding her in my arms. Like I was not protecting her from my damn brother's grasp.

Like laughing at her for being scared of something that exceeded her fragile body ...

"When I turned six, my Mom died."

Bam, punch me in the face and you get the same fucking reaction. Utter silence.

Sure, the reveal was not really surprising since Laura had mentioned once, that her farther was a single parent. However, the fact that she did trust me with this, was.

For as long as I had known her, the brunette had never spoken of her mother. Everybody was bound to have one, so it had always been the one mystery, Laura never felt the need to share.

Ever since I had started to develop feelings for that annoying shrill of a girl, I had always been curious about Mama Hollis. Most of the time though, there had been other things to worry about. And in all the rare moments, where it had been just the two of us, it appeared inappropriate to ask; my sympathy was limited but I still had manners.

Why tell me now, though? What did Laura's mother have to do with thunderstorms?

My girlfriend took a deep, shaky breath before she opened her mouth again. All the while, her eyes stayed shut. I finally noticed, that she was just trying to keep fresh tears at bay this way.

"I had been in school for a few days only."

Her voice was low and hushed; this was sacred information. I perked up my ears.

"My birthday was in the middle of the week, so inviting my new friends over was out of the question. I was devastated, but Mom promised that we would party the next weekend and that she and I would run errands the whole of Friday afternoon. I know it sounds like no big deal, but shopping with her was always ... it was like an adventure. Like, she would tell me that other customers were mean trolls and that I should hurry, to get what we needed, before they could get to us with their bad mood and Dad would have to come and rescue his happy princesses from them." – Laura smiled against my collarbone and I found myself mimicking her; what a nauseously sweet thing to tell your kid – "... she had a gift for storytelling, y'know."

"That explains the sock puppets." I replied softly and smiled like a fool, when my girlfriend agreed with a slight chuckle. It was followed by a sniff and a hand wiping her face, but nevertheless, my bad joke had not missed its purpose like my most recent tries.

See what I mean? From misery to blissfulness in the blink of an eye ...

"It happened on our way back home."

... and back again.

Author's note:

So, what do you think? Do you agree to the Carm feels I pictured or do you feels like it's ooc? Let me know what you think.

I'm already working on the next, and quite possibly last part. Open for more surprises from myself, though. As long as it serves a good angst/fluff Hollstein during hiatus, right? :)