Author's note:

Hi to the new followers!

Damn, it's late here and I need to get up early (going on vacation though 3), buuut I wanted to get the new chapter done before you guys have to wait another week ...

So yeah. Enjoy this new chapter.

The amount of knots in my stomach was insane, just like the effect they had on my undead body. My throat was dry and my brain felt as stiff as my shoulders; even my thoughts seemed to clam up. My hands reacted awkwardly, too, for they clawed Laura's back to a point where I wasn't quite sure, whether or not I was about to break the soft skin.

I had never felt anything like it before. All due to the fast-building, dramatic tension ... what a little story could do to you, if you let it.

"It was already dark outside," Laura continued unexpectedly. "but I was still psyched about the whole trip."

My attention was right back where it belonged and as I looked in my girlfriend's face, I noticed that she was somewhat sombre now. Laura still held onto my arms for dear life, but the brunette stared into space. As if he wasn't with me anymore.

Whatever it was, a trance or something else, I felt bad for her. Because Laura Hollis was probably envisioning the demise of her mother all over again – one way or another.

"Mom even re-arranged my booster seat," Laura said and pulled me out of my thoughts once again. "so that I could sit on the passenger seat. Just ... this once. Because of my damn birthday."

The swearing surprised me, but not necessarily for the fact that she rarely did it. It was more the amount of pure venom and loathing, that went along with her ever sweet voice.

"I remember singing my favorite song on a non-stop-basis. Some annoying Barney song. You know, that purple dragon? Mom eventually told me to stop."

For a split second, I thought I saw the ghost of a smirk – a bitter one – on her lips. Another not-so-good sign. I shivered.

"But I wouldn't listen" she continued. "I kept on singing and singing- just like she kept on trying to make me stop. I just got louder and louder- louder than her, to try and make her sing along with me, because I loved singing with her, but she continued to yell at me and then, out of nowhere, there was this high pitched shrill and I jus–"

Laura drew a very deep breathe and the rattling from her lungs sounded as if they had just been burnt. Still, it was like music to my ears. Because for a moment there, I thought she was about to pass out on me.

While heavy breaths were drawn and her lean frame rose and fell in rhythm, I desperately tried to wipe the fresh tears from her face. The fact that she drilled her cheek more and more into my already sore collarbone was not helping with that, though. Sadly, there was not much that I could do for her right now. Whatever had happened that night, it was already in the past and could not be changed anymore.

I was heartbroken for the tiny human in my arms. I might not have much experience with human feelings, but after Ell I sure knew what loss felt like.

Laura stayed silent for quite a while. Her sobs had subsided eventually, but that never stopped the tears from falling. Just silently now. However, I never ceased to wipe them away vigorously either.

"During all this, Mom must have drifted off the road," – Laura's voice was raspy now – "though I am not quite sure what happened. There was just this ... this blinding light in my face ..."

As if on cue, lightning enlightened my girlfriend's beautiful face again, only this time, it was just a memory; I had seen it, the sheer terror in her eyes. "Oh my god." fell out of my mouth as I finally understood, why she had been so upset with me, for making fun of her.

I suddenly felt like the biggest asshole – well, at least sort of – alive. Which was nothing new in general, really. However, it was the first time ever, that I actually felt bad for it.

"Laura ..."

I really tried to muster an apology, but there were no words that could ever do that giant slip up any justice. So I shut my mouth again and just looked down at her head. There was only hair to see at the moment, but she began to lift herself off my body sooner than I liked, anyway. I protested at first, but let go off her, as soon as she was already half seated before me. I sat up myself, missing her warmth for the second time that night, while Laura re-adjusted her shirt and then sat in a lazy Indian style. Her shoulders hung, as did her head, but she finally looked at me from the corner of her eyes.

"It's okay." she said while wiping over her face again. Considering her eyes and nose were turning an angry shade of red now, it was not a surprise to me, that my disbelieve probably showed on my face. "It really is," she added upon my reaction. "you had no chance of knowing, so ..."

"Maybe," I said shrugging. "I still feel like a giant asshole."

Laura did not reply to that, but took my hand into both of hers, lifted it to her head and placed a lingering kiss on the back. Insane, that within her misery, she still succeeded in cheering me up with a simple gesture.

"So that ... that light," I stuttered. Damn those nerves and damn that need to know what had actually happened to the Hollis women. "I suppose it was another ..."

"Headlights." Laura clarified with a nod. "From another car, yes. It was some kind of Range Rover, so the headlights were placed a little higher than usual and since I was just a kid then ..." I already nodded but she said it anyways: "It just hit me in the eyes like a laser beam ..."

I squeezed her hand, trying to tell my girlfriend that she didn't have to continue speaking. But Laura was once again far away, lost in the memory.

"When I came to, I remember not seeing anything ... I could not move either ... and my parents were not there– I just, I cried for what felt like hours. And then I heard her. Mom. Finally singing that ... that stupid song."

I reached forward – enough was enough – and pulled her into a tight hug for the both of us. If I had any doubts left, about me not having any feelings, I threw them overboard the second I felt something wet on my own cheek.

Since the small girl fit perfectly into my body, and always had, we melted into each others arms like two pieces of warm butter. We stayed like that for some time. It helped to make me feel better for sure and I hoped to have the same effect on Laura. Especially because I had no idea, what else to do.

"She told me to not be scared ..." – a sob reached my inner ear – "... and that I would be okay. And then h-her voice ... it just died out. Just a few minutes before there were people. She ... she died r-right besides me, C-Carm. And I thought ... I thought– if I had just–"

"Cupcake," I said, my voice betraying me badly. I sounded like some dying puppy – which was probably more accurate than I would ever care to admit – but it made me swallow down the sentence I had already prepared within my thoughts.

Was I really this damaged that I was not even capable of comforting my own girlfriend?

Laura turned her head a little to look me in the eye, when I didn't continue my sentence. The sorrow there was almost enough to kill me right on the spot. For real, this time.

"I just had a mild concussion and a bruised ribcage, Carm. She, on the other hand, lost her life! If I hadn't bugged her this bad–"

The words burnt like fire; I gripped her shoulders and pushed her back. "No," I practically yelled. "don't you go there! This is not your fault, ok?"

"But–"

"No!" I really didn't mean to, but I yelled at her for a second time. It even made her flinch. "Absolutely not, cupcake. You are ridiculous and unreasonable. You were just a kid. And you are most definitely not responsible for every bad thing that happens around you."

Laura did not reply, instead she once again looked down at her hands, an obvious sign for me, that the brunette did not agree with that opinion.

The scales fell from my face then. In the mistaken believe, that the feisty little girl was just dangerously careless and oblivious, when it came to real danger, I had always assumed she was just a naive little girl without any sense about how the world works. With this new insight, however, it was suddenly very clear to me, where her strange hero complex originated from.

"Laura," – I hoped to finally prove the point by using her actual name repeatedly – What happened was a terrible accident and you have to trust me on that one, right now. You are not to blame for your ... "

I really did not want to say it out loud, but for the sake of that beautiful soul, I just had to. She had to get it.

"your mother's ... death."

The young brunette nodded vividly at that, but she also bit her lip while doing so. "I know," she mumbled. "I know, I really do, I accepted that a long time ago, it's just that– ... well, I eh, I would have been for ... yours."

Silence surrounded us for a split second, but that was still enough time for my stomach to drop. For the first time that night, Laura laughed. But it was her nervous habit. My eyebrow furrowed; my worried habit.

"What?"

"Well, your second death or whatever." – a grin, then a turned head – "Never mind."

Ok, that was just blatant, I thought.
Obviously, she tried to shake it off. But I wouldn't let her, not when she was this vulnerable; her soul lay open to me, as well as some guilt, that was somehow connected to me. How could I ever ignore that?

"What do you mean?"

Again, she bit her lip, and I felt sick of myself for the split second I wanted to kiss it better. What a sap I had become. Disgusting! ... and incredible all at once.

"It's stupid, really."
"It's not stupid, if it's in your head."
"Stop smothering me with sappy-ness."
"Stop stalling."

Ok, that was somewhat rude, but the obvious point-out seemed to do the trick. Laura sighed, then ran her hands through her hair to push it behind her shoulders, shoulders that once again dropped.

"Fine," she obliged. "I'll tell you."

Author's note:

That turned out a little more angsty than I had originally planned, but I went with the flow and it seemed right.

More fluff is on the way, but before that, please let me know what you think about this chapter via a review? Also the writing style and grammar and stuff, since I'm not a native speaker and I want to learn about my mistakes.

Would appreciate it, thanks :)