Author's note:
Hello! I see you are back for more? Yay!
A few quick thank you's to those who have shown interest in the story so far:
REVIEWS- FearlessRabbit.
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FAVS- Rev808; maelsic; marcella369.
Natalia sat down on the bed- there were five other beds in her room- and looked around curiously. Her eyes lingered on the handcuffs at the head of the bed and the thin blankets on the equally thin mattress; maybe they were warmer than they looked? She wondered if there would be other children in the same room as her; maybe they were all waiting for their parents, too. Maybe this was like a camp. She pushed herself back onto the bed fully, where she had been told to wait, and crossed her legs.
Her hand covered her mouth as she yawned. She was still very tired; she and her father had walked a long, long way to get here. Sure, they travelled by cab for most of the journey, but they walked for at least five miles, which felt even longer to little Natalia.
She was told to remain on the bed, and she intended to- and that didn't mean she couldn't go to sleep. As she rested her head on the pillow, she fell straight to sleep.
Natasha sighed as she woke up, the images running through her head. As her dream self fell asleep, she awoke. Logically she knew that it was just a dream, but part of her felt like it was the truth- that it was really happening. If she closed her eyes and went back to sleep, then she would 'wake up' in the dream and have to continue the distorted version of what could have happened.
Natasha grunted as Rhodey's fist connected with her shoulder painfully and automatically grabbed his arm, throwing him over her shoulder and ready to snap it until Steve intervened.
"Nat! Stop."
She released him suddenly, as if he had just burnt her. "You left yourself open," she defended her actions before looking at Steve.
"No, he didn't." Steve countered before turning his attention to Rhodey. "You alright?"
Rhodey half scoffed, half laughed. "Of course." He replied with a bit of a cocky smile as he rolled his shoulder backwards. "I obviously didn't pull my arm back quick enough. Again?" He asked, turning his question to Natasha.
Natasha stepped away from them slightly, examining the room around them. It was clear that everybody felt Steve was overreacting- but she had been about to break his arm. They just didn't know that. "No. I need a break." She decided before walking from the room.
She took a few deep breaths, angry at herself for not being able to keep it together. Two dreams. She had now had two dreams- no, nightmares- about a past she knew was impossible.
"Natasha." Steve's voice almost startled her as he joined her in the corridor- when had she stopped walking? "What's going on?"
She looked at him, suddenly very wary of the concerned expression on his face. "I'm fine, Steve."
"You don't look fine." Steve stated firmly, stopping in front of her. "We're partners. Talk to me."
Natasha looked up at him. They were technically partners, but to her, Clint was her only real partner. "I'm going to head to Clint's for a few days. I need to clear my head, that's all." She replied.
He gave her a nod, obviously not believing her, and took a step back. "I'll hold the fort until you get back."
She nodded. "Thanks." She turned away from him and continued down the hall, now having a destination, but before she turned the corner, she looked back at him to find him still watching her. Her lips turned upwards as she called back. "And he did leave himself open." She caught his smile before she continued away from him.
Natasha landed the quinjet in the trees. After turning it off and sliding out of the cockpit, she took a second to consider if she should give Clint a forewarning of her arrival. Surprising Laura and the kids was a normal occurrence, but she'd never turned up without Clint knowing. She shrugged that off, deciding to surprise him, too, and hoping she didn't get shot.
As she approached the house silently, she saw some movement, a glint of an arrow- but it was gone before she had to take cover. Seconds later, Clint walked out of his front door. "I almost shot you!"
She rolled her eyes. "Now why would you do a silly thing like that?"
They both ended up rolling their eyes before exchanging a quick hug. "What brings you to this neck of the woods?"
"Just needed to get away from the base. Do you mind?" Natasha asked, walking into his home without waiting for an answer- she knew what he would say anyway.
"Not at all; you're always welcome." Clint replied. She felt his hand on her arm, tugging her lightly to one side and turning her to face him- he obviously wanted to talk before the kids knew she was there. "What's going on, Nat?"
Natasha stared at him silently for a few moments, tempted to not answer his question. "I can't sleep… Wanda being in the same building is just- dreams." She answered, not quite finishing her sentences.
Clint nodded understandingly and released her- not that he had been holding her there. "Lila and Laura are baking, and Cooper is giving Nate a bath… I was helping with the latter."
She smirked at him. "Of course you were. Bring me Nate when he's clean." She ordered playfully before heading to the kitchen. Her lips curled up into a smile when she saw Lila sneak a hot cookie.
"Be careful, it's hot." Natasha lightly warned, informing them both of her presence.
Lila flinched away from the pile of cookies with a shy grin. "Sorry. I really wanted one." She admitted. Her expression morphed into a giant happy grin. "When did you get here?" She ran forward, cookie forgotten, and latched onto Natasha's waist. "You could have helped make the cookies!"
"I've just got here." Natasha replied with a small laugh, hugging the young girl back, slightly lifting her. She reached out and grabbed a cookie, taking a bite. "Mmm."
"Hey, I want one!" Lila exclaimed, snatching one for herself and stuffing it in her mouth. "'S goo'," she said through the mouthful. "Hoh', but goo'."
Natasha laughed, letting go of the young girl, who picked up a cup. "Too hot?" She questioned knowingly. "Hey, Laura, how are you?"
Laura smiled tiredly. "I'm pretty good- had to help get Nate to cooperate with Cooper." She explained. "That kid is a little too tempered for his own good sometimes…"
Lila handed her mother a cookie. "They turned out really well!" She said cheerily. "Right, Aunt Nat?"
"Right- they're delicious." Natasha agreed. "Laura, did you want to get some rest? You look exhausted."
Laura took a bite of the cookie, gave Lila a smile, and turned back to Nat. "If you wouldn't mind… I'm sure Lila would love to play with you." She relented. Lila jumped excitedly.
"Yeah! Could we play dress-up, Aunt Nat? I got a new headband that matches my pink dress, and I got this really pretty makeup for Christmas!" She looked up at Natasha pleadingly.
"I'll hold down the fort." Natasha told Laura, sending her a smile before her attention turned to Lila. "Really? I don't believe you!" She teased.
Laura sent her a grateful look and disappeared up the stairs. Lila was laughing at Natasha and pulling on her sleeve. "C'mon, I'll show you! It's like grown-up makeup, but prettier!"
Natasha allowed herself to be pulled along. "I'm coming."
Natasha stretched her legs out, balancing them on the table as she watched Clint feed little Nathaniel. A small smile graced her lips. "Too bad he isn't like Lila- she started sleeping through the night by the time she was his age."
"Seriously. I'm starting to wonder if he's got super stamina." Clint concurred in exasperation when Nathaniel kicked his legs and waved his arms happily, the living personification of the word 'hyper'. "C'mon, Nate, cut it out!"
"Give him here; he just needs an Auntie Nat snuggle." Natasha said, holding out her arms expectantly.
Clint sighed but didn't argue, taking Nate out of his highchair and handing him to Nat. "Alright, but when he get too hyper for you, I'll take him back." He said, clearly implying that he thought she wouldn't succeed in calming the boy.
She took him gladly, laying him over her lap and gently patting his back to wind him. "I think I can handle a little baby, Clint. It's not rocket science." She replied sarcastically, her voice soft and smooth as she burped him. "You're tired, cranky and impatient- which is typical with a baby. I'm calm, relaxed and patient; therefore, I have a higher chance of success."
"Don't get technical with me," Clint muttered grumpily. "If you're so great at it, why don't you just become his full-time nanny? God knows I need the help."
A smirk graced her lips as she looked up at him confidently. "I think you and Laura have it covered- well, you will after she gets a good night's sleep. If you wanted to go sleep, I can keep an eye on the little guy for you."
Clint looked torn for a few moments before he finally sighed and slumped his shoulders in what was either defeat or relief- probably both. "Thanks." He said sincerely before trudging up the stairs, looking quite ready to collapse. "I'll take him back… later…" His voice drifted off as he seemed to be doing the same. By the time he'd reached the top step, he looked like he was asleep on his feet. Then he rounded the corner and was out of sight.
Natasha looked at the infant. "You can't talk, answer back, tell me what to do, pretend to be somebody you're not… you don't lie to me... you're the perfect person. Although the not dressing yourself, crying loudly in the middle of the night, not getting your own food- that might be a downside. What do you think?" She asked him as she picked him up and cradled him against her chest.
Nathaniel simply wiggled around, having no intention of going to sleep.
Natasha made herself comfortable, leaning back and patting his back lightly, keeping him securely and comfortably lying on her. It only took an hour for the young boy to give up and fall asleep.
She continued with her movements, allowing herself to rest her eyes- however, sleep pulled her back in. Sleep, which she had been avoiding.
Natalia's sleep lasted no longer than a few minutes when a hand rested on her shoulder. Her eyes shot open as she sat up, looking at the male with wide eyes. It took her a moment to remember where she was and who he was.
"Now's not time for sleeping, little spider- it's almost morning," Ivan told her as he offered her a hand.
After a second of contemplation, she took his hand and slipped out of the bed, allowing herself to be led out of the room.
"You cannot go anywhere without me, okay? If I leave you in a room, you wait there until I come back," Ivan informed her. "Do you understand?"
"Yes," Natalia replied, her curious eyes looking around as she kept up with him. He was walking at a nice and slow pace.
"Good girl. Tomorrow we'll be going on a long journey to someplace else," he added as he led her into a dining room. "Take a seat."
Natalia took a seat as directed. "Where are we going? And for how long?" She asked.
Ivan ignored her for a moment as he collected a bowl and spoon and placed them in front of her. It looked like porridge, and she picked up her spoon and began eating. "Don't ask questions."
She looked at him, pausing her eating for a moment. "But… shouldn't I be here for when my dad comes back?"
"Little spider, your dad isn't coming back," Ivan told her softly, touching her shoulder. "He couldn't look after you- but I can. I will raise you and make sure you grow up healthy and strong."
Natalia looked at him with disbelief and shook her head. "He wouldn't do that. He's my dad." She replied confidently, holding her head up high.
At his smirk, her eyes narrowed and a stubborn expression appeared on her face. "He's not coming back." He repeated.
"Yes. He. Is." Natalia stated firmly. "You'll see. He said only a week or two, and then I'm going home."
Ivan smiled slyly at her. "You can wait all you like, but you will never see him again." He walked away from her and she turned her head to see him exit the room.
"I WILL SEE HIM AGAIN!" Natalia screamed after him, throwing her bowl of porridge at the door as a few tears fell down her cheek. She ran to the door, wanting to continue the conversation and make him know that her dad would be back, but it was locked. "Let me out! He will be back!" She shouted through the door, beating her hands on it, but all that accomplished was upsetting her even more.
Eventually she returned to her seat, hungry, with no food, and tears falling down her cheeks freely and silently.
Natasha jerked awake, panting heavily, her cheeks wet with tears. She looked down at the still sleeping baby and sighed in relief. But other than making sure he was alright, she made no attempt to move- not even to dry her eyes.
Thank you for reading!
Beta; ThisVioletofMine.