Chapter. 4
The last half of my school day was sped up and ended quickly; the ceramics class consisted of me staring at a pile of clay, poking it with my needle tool and the last two was a basic human biology class and history class. I had already gotten my art, science and history credit done back in Colorado, but here I needed one more. It pissed me off beyond all reason but I accepted it and tried to move on. Even though my eyebrow gave a steady twitch as I had to redo this shit all over again. Nick wasn't far from my mind and I found myself keeping my eyes open in the hallways, searching for the black hair and warmer skin. Should I tell Mags about him? It took her days before she let the subject drop last time and I didn't want her to get carried away. I oddly had this need to tell someone about how the cute Native American boy actually talked to me but that was shallow. He seemed friendly; I wasn't going to look into anything that wasn't there. He seemed chummy with Katie, maybe they were more than just friends? I remembered her intense target-locked-and-ready gaze on Donovan and second guessed myself.
"Hey," I looked up from my desk, seeing the chocolate skinned student council member who dropped me off to math class, Curtis. Shrek and him were obnoxious together in the halls and he called everyone a flirty nickname that was oddly charismatic. "Glad I caught you before you left. The office ladies wanted me to remind you to meet at the office again in the morning," he paused, seeing my cheeks flare. "Sorry we have this policy. But it's pretty fun getting to know you guys." He offered a half-smile and left the deserted classroom. I pinched the bridge of my nose, looking down at the open history textbook. We had an assignment due tomorrow but instead of checking out a textbook, I stayed after school and finish it here. That way I wouldn't have to pay a fat ass fine when I lost it. The teacher, Mr. Stamps, aided in the after-school math help and a few kids came in slowly, probably embarrassed because it was the second day of school and already needed help. I felt their pain. They looked younger, maybe sophomore's; they didn't get the option of a easy math class like I had. Stamps didn't hesitate to rearrange the desks in a circle, making a small math therapy group, and they began. I saw a few of their eyes flicker over at me, I didn't know if it was because they were self-conscious having another person in the room or just out of curiosity but I quietly grabbed my stuff and went to the back, putting headphones in and listened to music as I worked.
I had just finished when my phone buzzed. MOM.
I panicked, quickly throwing my bag on and heading into the hall, sliding my thumb over and answering. "Mommy!" I tried to sound cheerful but it came out like if I had just been shot and echoed in the empty halls.
"Charlotte! My lovely daughter," she responded back. She was in a good mood thank god. "How's school going? Sorry for calling earlier, I bet you were in classes." Relief went through me, I didn't have to profusely apologize for not answering.
"It's going good," Nick flashed in my mind and I shook it away. "You wouldn't believe this school though. They actually give a shit." I laughed darkly into the phone and my mom chuckled.
"Tell me about it, sweetie. This should be fun. " My mother drove me crazy with her controlling and self-pitying ways, but their was one thing we were always in sync with and that was humor. I didn't hold back on the over exaggerated sarcastic tale about my day, mentioning Shrek and the bitter Mr. Hyde and the friendliness of the student council. I referred Donovan as President Pretty Boy and we both laughed. It felt nice having just a regular easy conversation with my mother. Ever since the incident, it clouded our own relationship, pulling us apart. I knew she wouldn't admit it, but being here with Mags probably was the best thing that could have happened. It felt right. I sat in the Durango, fiddling with buttons as we talked about our days. I did end up telling her about the mall and how I got a shoe thrown at me, both of us in tears by the end of the conversation. I sat back in the seat, wiping away makeup and rubbing my cheeks.
"Oh heavens, I so needed a good laugh," she sighed into the phone and a wave of somber hit us. "I'm glad you're doing good, honey. You may not see the difference in yourself but you've come a long ways."
My heart swelled. "Thank you, Mom. That means a lot." And it did. We chatted for a bit more, ending the conversation when I needed to get home and cook before Mags burnt down the place. I let the day go, all the stress and anxiety, feeling better talking to my mom and laughing it off. Mags was wonderful support but her eyes held too much weight. She didn't pity or baby me, but they held something in them that made me want to dissect all of my emotions and tell her everything. She'd be a wonderful therapist if she ever needed a second career option. I walked in the door, already smelling food and cringe. My nose registered the smell as human and safe then I curiously walked into the kitchen. On the table had a cake and Italian take-out, plates and silverware already out. I blinked, my eyes wide.
"What the-"
"HAPPY SECOND-FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL." Mags half-screamed like a teridoctoyle, popping up from behind the bar with a birthday hat on and chucked peanuts at me. I dropped my bag, holding my hand up in defense and half-shouted from surprise.
"What the hell are you doing?" I shouted over her crazy shouting and yelling.
"I couldn't find confetti so I bought peanuts instead!" She screamed, like a battle cry and I ducked, hiding behind a chair and scooped up some of the floor and cried out in victory when I got her. We did this until she saw several in the cake and almost had a meltdown. I got up fro my spot in the living room, eyeing the set-up on the table and the scattering of nuts.
"Who's Martha?" I looked at her with dumbfounded disbelief. "This looks like a cake for an eighty-year-old women on Mother's Day." I eyed the big flower prints and over-done lace work on the side.
"Eh, I dunno. I just said I was here to pick up a cake and here's Martha." She smiled, looking down at the cake with fondness -like a pet- and I smacked my face. She reached over, picking out the coated peanuts and ate them, shrugging. "Why Martha. Your nuts taste fantastic. You dirty bastard."
We sat in the living room, some cheesy romantic-comedy on the screen, our bellies bloated with perfect al dente noodles and creamy sauces with tender chicken and meatballs.
"God bless those Italians," Mags sighed, kissing her thumb and looking up at the ceiling. "How was Martha?" She stretched like a cat on the couch, showing off her long legs and lithe torso. I looked down at my plate of half-eaten cake, picking around the too-sweet icing and enjoyed the rich yellow cake.
"She's excellent. You should have just bought one though." I lightly chastised, not to upset because it was a problem easily fixed in the bakery.
Mags did her "meh, it's alright" face and rolled over, looking at me with a more serious expression. "How was your day at school though? You looked like you were in a good mood when you came in." I thought back, honestly totally forgetting about it until she asked. Memories blurred, the confusing classes and stuffed hallways. It was so much better being home and a dark gnarl spread in my stomach, knowing I'd have to go back there tomorrow.
"It was decent. Kids are obnoxious, stupid teenagers." I chuckled sardonically and once again, Nick popped up.
"Charlotte, you are a stupid teenager," she laughed but I could tell it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Not even eighteen yet." She tried to keep her tone light but it was somber.
"It went great, Mags," I said, my eyebrow raising as I felt the good mood slip. "I even called Mom up and we had a good conversation on the phone. We laughed and stuff."
She shook herself out of the weird atmosphere she was in, perking up with interest. "I'm glad she was in a good mood. I talked to her yesterday a little bit, she had her claws out then." She hissed and did cat noises, I smiled and stood up, picking up our plates. It was too late to go running, which was a relief because I was exhausted. If it was an hour earlier I still would have made myself run, committed to my schedule. Night had crept it, throwing purple shadows on the street and the trees swayed in the light breeze.
I carried the plates out, rinsing the icing off with hot water and put the extra food away. I took out a broom, hitting the floor and tried to gather up all the peanuts that were thrown our loft-styled kitchen. I shook my head and laughed a little, calling it good and finished the dishes. When I was done, Mags was passed out on the couch, her eyebrows drawn together. I wondered what she was dreaming about. She looked uncomfortable, one leg shot up on the back of the couch and the other somehow underneath her butt. I came around the coffee table and put a finger on her shoulder, the small sensation bringing me back to this morning when I had hugged her. My gut clenched at the thought and I forced the sickness away, taking a step back and shrugged it off.
I wondered into my room, my eyes falling on my laptop, I needed to update Cecil on my life. No matter how tiny and depressing it was. I curled up with a blanket I took with me from my life in Colorado and curled up by the cushioned bench by my window, pushing off the dozen or so pillows Megs had collected from her traveling days -giving them to me as gifts. And she claims she hardly gets me anything, I thought in annoyance before flipping open my laptop and thought of Cecil again. Should I mention having Thanksgiving here? I bit my nail anxiously, I nonchalantly brought up the holidays. I would warm Mags up to the thought as it grew closer, if I explained how amazing all of us could get a long, she'd be on board. I quickly typed her back, explaining my first day of school in the same manner that I explained it to my mom. I goofed off for a bit, updating my youtube playlist with new songs. After a few slow songs were over, my eyes begin to ache, tired of a laptop and wanting to be closed until the next day. I sighed, pushing it away and quickly changed into pajamas. A million faces and objects ran over my mind as I crawled into bed soon after, wrapped up in my fuzzy bottoms. Tomorrow I made a note to be more relaxed than I was today. Between my anxieties and rage, I would be quickly burning the entire place down if I didn't learn to take a chill pill. The images -Nick was a lot of those- slowly seemed to cloud and melt away, my eyebrows slowly un-knitting themselves and I crashed into a deep sleep.
The next day was worse than the last, it was going to take some time with adjusting to the early mornings. I yawned, slowly rolling out of bed and itched my body awake. Shedding my pajamas, I walked across the hall in my towel and quickly jumped in a warm shower, letting the water wake up my groggy mind. I thought of my outfit, planning it out in my head as I washed myself. I promised myself I wouldn't be as stressed today, I would try to be more "go with the flow" kind of gal and stick to myself and occasionally interact with my classmates. My eyebrows shot together, I thought of Nick and the friendly student council. They involved themselves frequently with the student body, maybe being left alone -like my original game plan was- wasn't going to work out here. I got out of the shower, hearing shuffling outside the door and decided Mags was awake. Curiosity sparked and I decided it was a lovely morning to do some meddling. I got dressed, more comfortable today in black leggings and a violet pull-over. I put my disaster of a mane into a bun and did my make-up the same as yesterday. Winged eyeliner on top, thick layer of mascara with some liquid foundation and a swipe of blush over my round cheeks. My features were always on the innocent and soft side, my face structure didn't obtain any edge to my countenance. My face shape wide with a narrowing chin and full lips and big eyes. My nose being an abomination, too rounded and like a fat door knob. I hoped no one paid any attention to it and tried to put the spotlight on my eyes. I added some earrings and a necklace with a dangling amethyst. Grabbing my school stuff, I walked out into the living room and set it down on the couch. My aunt was in the kitchen, carefully keeping her eyes on some eggs.
"Want eggs with some toast?" she smiled at me and I slowly nodded, feeling my stomach grumble. I couldn't remember the last time I had breakfast. Delighted, Margaret pulled out another plate as I sat down at the table. I looked out the kitchen window, seeing the sun pink the sky and the green trees around the houses swayed in the damp morning breeze. I had never really gotten to know the neighbors, I said hi to the one across the street and that's because they said it first. Mags was chummy with a few, she occasionally invited the elderly couple down the way on her porch and they would laugh and talk. Everyone liked Mags though. She was oddly distant from people even though they adored her. It firmed my resolve to help my aunt more with Dustin.
"How are the puppies doing?" I nonchalantly brought up, still looking out the window. I didn't have to play casual too much, I already was out of it due to my tired brain. She perked up some more, looking up from the eggs to glance over at me.
"They're great! Dustin has a few homes for the more energized ones. But I don't know about the few who are more timid and relaxed," she eyed me again, putting the bread in the toaster. I tried not to roll my eyes and smile. Was she seriously guilt tripping me? "Dustin's sad to see them leave though." She added on a serious note and I looked over at her, trying to stay cool.
"I bet, it's easy getting attached to those suckers. Why doesn't he keep one? He has the room." I thought back to his huge house, imagining Mags and Dustin snuggled on the couch by the fire place with one of the puppies attacking them. I smiled more, thinking of how happy she's going to be.
"Eh, I don't think that'll work out for him. Not with someone helping him take care of it."
I wanted to shout out, You! You do it, dammit! "Ah, I see. I take it his girlfriend works a lot?" I knew the question sounded forced and I cleared my throat, looking away again. Mags shockingly laughed, arranging the toast underneath the eggs. She walked over to the table, pulling out a seat next to me and sat the plates down. I could tell she forgot the seasonings for the eggs but I was content with them not being burned or undercooked. Today she wore a vivid green pencil skirt and a white blouse with a tight fitting jacket over her small frame. She had her hair pinned back from her face but allowed the back part to cascade down her back in semi-gelled auburn curls. It was the only resemblance we had together, I didn't inherit the Mecham's petite frame. I was oh-so blessed with my fathers genes, the Brunson's curvy figure and the temper to go with it.
"What's so funny?" I raised my eyebrow, watching her cut into her eggs and toast.
"The woman to ever dare to take his wife's lovingly place must be one hell of a woman. She was amazing," her eyes went to a different place in time, happiness mixed with somberness. I felt more curiosity pull at me. It was rare she ever thought about the past and from what I was picking up on, she had known Dustin's wife. "Those two were like a matched made in heaven. The Saunders are a big time family around here, half the town was invited to their wedding. When the accident happened, it was devastating. Not just for him, but the community. She was close with everyone..." she trailed off and I ate my toast as she talked, hopefully trying not to act to interested. "All I'm saying, is the next Mrs. Saunders -if they will be- has to be a pretty damn brave woman. The entire city will be watching and Dustin wouldn't just let anyone back into his life. He's a bigger recluse than I am." She chuckled, her bright eyes not even realizing the awesome bit of information she gave me. Mags was a bigger deal than she realized, by practically reviving the museum and being known as a local artist, she already was known in this smallish town. I let her change the subject, listening to her chat about an upcoming event she was putting together, and ate my breakfast lost in thoughts.
I was almost late running out the door, I had spaced out with all the talking she was doing and I quickly threw my shit into the passenger seat and headed to my own personal hell. I felt my fingers squeeze on the steering wheel, dread filling me as I turned into the school parking lot. Several groups were outside, enjoying the warm morning and I got a couple stares as I parked. It was further back, away from all the stupid trucks and newer cars that no doubt belonged to the cool kids. I sighed, grabbing my headphones. If I wanted to stay calm, I was going to need these. My phone went off right when I shut my door, sliding it open I got a notification my cousin CeCe had responded. At lunch I decided to read it, knowing it was going to be practically a novel. I put one earbud in, shoving my phone into the front pocket of my sweatshirt, feeling it relax against my stomach. The school still loomed over me, increasing my heartbeat and I internally sang to the music coming from my phone, still avoiding the groups of kids that hung out in the beds of the trucks and some playing their own music.
"Heey! Curls!" The familiar voice and stupid nickname had my head shooting up and I looked over to my left, my face frowning. Shrek and a few other friends -I only recognized Curtis with his beaming teeth and the Homeroom Representative cardigan- seemed thoroughly entertained. Shrek leaned back, doing his best Joey Tribinanni impersonation and nodded over at me. "How you doin'? You ready for class?" he puckered his lips at me and I felt my cheeks darken. I sped up my walking, hearing them laugh it off. I shoved the other earbud into my ear and kept my head down, crossing the street and I glowered at the ground. I entered the school, feeling the air hit my already warm face and I looked up, seeing the massive commons roomed filled up with laughing kids. The inside wreaked of damp shoes and hot air. It was like I was looking at them from miles away, with music blocking out all the noises they made, I was in a different realm. It made it easier being indifferent to them. I walked in the office, collecting my thoughts and cooling my cheeks. I sighed, plopping down in the same seat from yesterday. The other new kids were already there, waiting to be escorted like I was. I closed my eyes, knowing I still had a few minutes before the morning announcements would begin and they would begin dropping us off to our first class. I thought about sitting so close to Shrek in my government class and muttered a swear word underneath my breath. My phone went off again, interrupting the song, and I peaked at it. It was from my mother. I opened it, reading the sentence or two she wrote about keeping my head up and having a good day. I was still vaguely thinking about Dustin and Mags. I wondered what I could do to help move things a long. I bit my lip absentmindedly, texting my mom back as I thought and waited for the bell to ring.
A rough tap on my shoulder made me look up, it was one of the office ladies. I blinked, realizing she was talking and I couldn't hear a word she was saying.
"Oh, sorry," I shook my head and pulled the earbuds out, noises from the office taking place of the music. The low whispering and the movement of papers and shoes on the carpet a shock to Search The City I had been listening to. "Yeah?" I asked and she looked at me with impatience. I cleared my throat, waiting for her to repeat.
"I was explaining to you the importance of these papers, they deal with graduation and need to be returned as soon as possible," she leaned over me and went through each of the forms, eyeing me intensely to make sure I was paying attention and wasn't some braindead teenager. The announcements clicked on from the back room and Katie's voice -always holding a tinge of dry humor- echoed into the empty halls. The lady paused, sighing as Vice President finished up.
"And don't forget to grab your homecoming dates, men! The dance will be the day after the football game, try your best not to screw it up and don't forget the flowers!" She added and some of the people in the office chuckled. Others, like Mrs. Prude, tsked her lips and commented how rude that was. I rolled my eyes before she refocused on me and continued with the papers. To be honest, I was so concentrated on not failing any classes I had forgotten the main point and that was graduation. Getting out of here and never putting up with people my own age again, as much as I could control that. The student body leaked out of the back room and I saw Donovan, Prez himself, and followed by the half a dozen of kids in the symbolic cardigans. They didn't look half bad, the cotton was a wine red with gold thick stitching and a black and white shield on the back, embroidered in. The shield, written in a decorative medieval font, said the title of the student and the graduating year. On the sides of the cardigan, right underneath the pockets, were their name on one side and the school's name on the other in smaller gold letters. It fitted most of them in a stylish manner, Katie's was a tad bit on the big side but she didn't seem to give two shits. It was less awkward when they came over to pick us up, I got the school's treasurer, a tall girl with glasses and black hair. She looked oriental of sort and smiled happily at me.
"Just a moment, I need to finish talking to her." Mrs. Prude said and the girl hung back, waiting patiently. The lady continued where she left off, talking about class rings and all the merchandise you could get. I eyed the magazine she set on my lap, eyeing the gold and burgundy scarf the model wore. I followed along, nodding as she finished up.
"If your parents have any questions, make sure they call us okay? This is serious stuff here." She narrowed her eyes at me until I was nodding vigorously. I was silently flipping her off the entire time. She patted the Treasurer's shoulder and went back to her throne of papers and staples.
"Senior, eh? Me too. And those papers are really self-explanatory," she leaned in, whispering to me as I collected my things. "It'll be okay." She smiled at me, her perfect teeth beaming. I smiled back, feeling reassured as she talked to me.
"Thanks. I was hoping it wasn't as complex as she made it seem." I muttered, eyeing the working lady with disdain.
"I'm Savannah," she introduced and thankfully didn't extend her hand. "I was new here last year. Kinda crazy right?" She snorted slightly, shaking her head and her slick hair looked like black ice in the sun that lit up the commons room. It was empty, the laminated floors all scuffed up from the students and the cement pillars were plastered with club names and announcements for the upcoming dance. I remembered junior prom, going with my best guy friend at the time and a group of my closest friends. I was convinced that had to be the most memorable night of my life. I shook my head, letting the memories crumble back into the crevices of my mind. Across the way, the lunch servers and janitors were cleaning up the breakfast. Sweeping and folding up the tables until lunch. I gazed at the neon and overly-decorated posters; art, jazz, dancing, photography, computer, science and all sorts of clubs boasting on the walls and lockers. Mags would encourage me to sign up and meet new people. I dismissed them all and walked with Savannah to Mr. Ras's class. We were ten minutes late again, like yesterday and everyone stared at me as I entered. Savannah waved and humorously blew kisses to a guy in the back of the class who shyly waved and blushed. Ras chuckled, coming around his desk and to the front of the class. My face heated, seeing all the attention directed towards me again and ignored Shrek as I plopped down a couple seats in front of him. Sniffing sourly as he wiggled his fingers and fluttered his eyelashes at me.
"Whata gal, huh Stephen?" Ras smiled warmly and the class giggled a little bit as the kid sighed hopelessly and nodded.
"Gotta love her." He responded and several of the girls died in their desk. I felt my face light up, seeing the obvious adoration he had for her and felt a tinge of something. I straightened my back and focused on the man in front of me. Soon, politics were brought up -of course, with this being a government class- and I felt myself shy away from the heated arguments that broke out. Honestly, even if I did know anything about politics, I wouldn't fight about them with my classmates. My family was government savvy, I always zoned out whenever they got into fights about them. Now, it made me anxious and fidget with my pen over paper as the voices rose.
"Here, let's pull out our books and open up to page thirty-seven and we'll get our answers there." Gun control had been brought up and I was relieved when the tension settled as we all found the page. I was wondering if this was his original plan for todays topic or was he just letting us control where it went. Some of the kids further back would occasionally get in trouble from being too loud and I knew that would have been me last year. I was always the talk of the teachers lounge. It dawned on me how much Shrek and I would have gotten along if the circumstances of me moving were different. If I was just looking for a way to escape my controlling family and moved out here for the hell of it, I would be devouring the attention. And with how tall and strong he was, I would have lost my shit. I made a noise in the back of my throat, disgusted with myself. Revolted my myself then, and now. Unintentionally, my fingers wondered to my stomach and nausea pressed on my earlier breakfast.
We continued finding the answers in the book, going from one issue to the next. Ras constantly eyed the clock, when we were halfway through first hour, he cleared his throat and interrupted the flow of conversations.
"As much as I like where this is going," he pulled out an old 90's television on a table with squeaky wheels. "I do have a curriculum to follow." He muttered and I could hear him mentally kicking the school's board asses. None of us complained, excited to be watching a movie. Half of us would fall asleep and the rest would be on their phones. He explained we would be watching one part of four movies involving early America and it's founders. However, he added turning in an essay and be handing in the notes we took on it for each day we watched. Then came the moans. I ate essays for breakfast, I leaned back, feeling confident in my first major assignment. The teacher flicked off the lights, wondering back to his desk and shoosh'ed us when we became too noisy. I sneaked one headphone in, blocking out Shrek's obnoxious remarks from the back of the class. The History Channel's insignia appeared on screen and we all settled in for the boring information to come.
"Have a great day people, we'll see you tomorrow!" Ras dismissed us, watching everyone yawn -counting me- as we headed out and became herded into the hall. Katie appeared, half of her hair in a bun the size of a baby's fist due to it's short length and a black dress that hit mid-thigh. It went well with her cardigan. She greeted me, the wave more casual since the ice was broke yesterday. Unwillingly, her and Nick's banter came to mind. I wondered how they became good friends. And how I could get that, my brain added sinisterly afterwards and I grimaced at my thoughts.
"Hey, Charlotte." She grinned, looking like she had a long-kept secret. That was just her personality though. Like a petite, strawberry blonde Cheshire.
"Hi, Katie," I offered, smiling a tad. "I've got Richards." I added, slinging my bag over my shoulder.
She nodded, letting me take lead as we went into the thinning hall. I suspected it was to see if I remembered or not. I was confident, remembering the location effortlessly.
"So," she piped up, like if she was wrestling with something and decided the hell with it. "I'm curious about Nick and you. He wasn't really giving with information." She said sourly at the end and I imagined her interrogating Nick in some secluded cement room. I smirked a little at the image before focusing.
"Oh. What do you mean?" I figured it would have been odd seeing one of your close friends abruptly talk to a complete stranger with such enthusiasm. Did she not like the prospect of me and him talking? I thought about Donovan's attitude towards me as I talked with Nick. Maybe she agreed?
"All he said was you guy's had some history," I mentally palm-faced myself. Nick. That made it sound more elusive than it really was. "And no matter how many Twix bars I batted him with, he refused to talk to us about it. He told us to talk to you about it." I could feel her growing frustration and she looked over at me with emphasis. My face darkened, her whiskey eyes trying -but failing- not to burn holes into the side of my head.
I glanced back over, thankful for the same eye-level. I was stuck with the Brunson's shortness as well. "I got a shoe thrown at me." The words blurted out, giving into her scrutiny. Her eyes bulged and then a stunned laugh followed, looking at me with incredulousness.
"Oh my god, I need to hear this. From the beginning." She waved her hand in the air, gesturing for me to start when I was good and ready. I hesitated, the events running through my mind like old pictures. Should I? I eyed her from the corner of my vison, seeing her small circular face wide with a grin that said, "this was going to be good". I opened my mouth slowly, trying not to be a fool and butcher such an excellent story. I tried to recapture it like I did with my mom, making it funny instead of utterly traumatizing. It wasn't as good with my mother but it had worked. Katie was doubled-over on the metal stairs leading up to the next level and was fanning her face, trying to preserve her flawless eyeliner and mascara. I offered a small chuckle, fiddling with my bag's strap. I had a deep sense of satisfaction knowing I made another person laugh so hard -and I had a feeling with Katie that was usually her role- but I automatically shied away, my cheeks colored. Another Homeroom Rep. was dropping off the other new girl and gazed at Katie and me, offering a curious wave. I forced a smile.
"What a complete dork, oh," she shook her head, her eyes looking up as if she found absolution in my words. "I'm going to do great things with this." She sounded like priestess. I froze, looking at her in confusion.
"What do you mean?" I asked for the second time. She gathered her composure, the tips of her lips turning up at me.
"It's like my sole purpose in life to humiliate Nick as much as these hands and mind will let me," she pointed her temple, still speaking as if this was her religious mandate. "No wonder he didn't tell me." I could imagine her mouth salivating with this piece of information. I blanched.
"Katie," her name fell hard from my pursed lips. "I would really appreciate it if you didn't." I felt my palms begin to sweat and shake. I should have just kept my mouth shut. This was precisely the reason why he didn't want to talk about it. I flinched at the mental image I had of Nick looking at me with betrayal. And the way I had said it! The earlier wave of nausea hit me again.
"Oh no, this is just too juicy to pass up!" She looked almost dreamy as she pictured all of the hell she was going to unleash. What a little nymph. "But don't worry, he won't be upset with you. He wanted me to ask, don't worry. We've been at this a long time. If I didn't do something utterly sinister to him, he probably would die from boredom." She chuckled warmly and patted the hand that gripped the strap. I was too stunned to flinch. We were outside the class, Richards could be seen warming up the smartboard and several of the kids inside waived frantically at Katie through the glass panels that made up the outside of the room.
"It really wasn't that big of a deal," the words rushed out again. "I just made it sound more humorous than what it really was." I tried to persuade her, taking the heat on myself.
"Oh hun," she let out another burst of high-pitched laugh that didn't match her mischievous tone. "Their is no way, you could somehow play-down what happened. He got a shoe thrown at you." Her eyes were filled with utter euphoria and I grimaced. We said our good-byes and I watched her merrily skip down the steps and into the ground below. Filled with an impending sense of dread, I sat in my seat, staring blankly at the problem at the bored. I was fucked.
Richard's eyed me curiously, seeing my usually flushed cheeks nearly drained and the dazed look in my eyes. I needed to talk to Nick, I anxiously looked at the clock and tried to focus in class. I knew the first week of school honestly wasn't that big of a deal but I didn't want to give myself the slightest leeway of screwing up. Remembering what the disclosure had said, I pushed my darkening thoughts away and pulled out my pen. Richards stood next to the board, going through different budgeting methods and bringing up a few David Ramsey's quotes she expected us to memorize for the first test we would have. I thought of my test anxieties, feeling immensely discouraged and gave a sight groan with the rest of the class. She jokingly told us to act like seniors instead of her sophomore class and began with the next slide. I always looked up to strong women, feeling inspired from her confidence as she taught. I felt slightly more relieved when several others in the class had questions and asked her to go back to past slides and re-explain a part of the assignment she handed out. I grasped most of it, already aware of budgeting through my mother, and finished the paper right before the bell rung.
"Sweet!" she exclaimed, taking the done-early assignment from my hands. She sounded like a kid and I smiled at her, her beaming face feeling good. It was just the kind of thing I needed to soothe my nerves. "This wasn't going to be nearly as hard as you thought it would be, huh, Charlotte?" She winked at me -probably breaking several teacher-student rules of conduct- and I gave a small chuckle.
"I admit, I wasn't too sure about this class. But at least I know I'm not going to be the only one struggling." I thought back to all the raised hands and a few who just didn't grasp it at all.
"Oh yeah," she nodded vigorously and brushed back a chunk of long curly hair. "Never hesitate to ask questions or even come talk to me personally. I've taught several of these students before so they know how open my classroom is. Don't be shy, okay?" She offered me another award-winning grin and went to touch my arm and pulled back last second, remembering my reaction from yesterday. I was thankful when a flash of something dark red caught our eye through the window and we saw Donovan walk casually in the room, offering a turn of the lip smile at Richards and gave me an unsettled look. I thought immediately of Katie and what I had said about Nick, panic blooming inside me once again.
"Hello our dear President," she offered warmly and began shuffling papers on her desk and getting ready for the next bunch of kids. Three appeared super early, the girl who came in I recalled from my ceramic class and wouldn't shut up about boys and her stupid parents. Her eyes bulged like if she got a horse for Christmas as she foamed at the mouth over the class president. "How's everything going on your end? The first dance is always crazy." She sighed, stilling smiling as she rolled her eyes in sympathy.
"Vice is the one who enjoys those kinds of things," he waved his hand, figuratively waving the responsibility on Katie as he approached the desk. "Now, the budget meeting next Tuesday for it, that's going to be crazy." Richards cooed with support and encouragement and I internally gagged.
Suddenly, her eyes light up and she looked over at me. "Just take advise from Charlotte over here, I bet her and Savannah could really make something work out. She's already a pro at handling money!" She looked like a soccer mom watching her kid kick her first goal. I made a startled choking noise in the back of my throat and gave her the similar "Mom you're embarrassing me" response back.
"Oh really." The response was cold and held no tone for Richards to continue but she did anyways and held up my paper, revealing my doodled edges and my sloppy cursive hand writing. I wondered what his deal was with me and then awkwardly tried to shoo the paper away, scarlet covering my face.
"You have a good afternoon Mrs. Richards," he said politely managing to shoot down her idea by nodding and ignoring it. "Oh, I'll see you tonight for the after-school math help." He added, offering her an excited thumbs up. I turned away, gathering up my things and watched the boy-obsessed girl strip Donovan to nothing but his birthday suit and swiftly giving me a glare as I walked out with him. Still feeling the tension between us over the budgeting idea, I stuck out my chin and looked at him head on.
"Um, I'm sorry about that. I wasn't expecting her to offer such a thing. I think she was just excited I turned it in early, that's all." I amended, mumbling more than what I wanted too, and a pair of stunning eyes swiveled down to look at me. I felt like I had been caught doing something bad even though I knew it wasn't my fault. Undeserved guilt hit me with his stare.
"Savannah is an excellent treasurer, you should have ran for Student Council somewhere else." He snapped and dismissed me entirely as we started on the stairs. A swell of rage from my core emerged but turned into tears when it touched the surface. I straightened my back, confused over the venom in his words. I walked a step a head, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing my hurt as we headed to Hyde's.
I kept my head down walking into the half-filled room, I quickly eyed Nick's seat. My heart dropping as I saw his empty spot and hoped he would just be coming in late. I shuffled my body into the back of the rows. I eyed the digital camera's, put into a wooden slots in the far end of the room. A few of the chunkier and professional one's sat on top of the shelves, a couple of Canon's and Nokia's. I could imagine the students fighting over them constantly. In the other corner rested a couple different types of printers and two laptops next to them. I imagined we did most of the computer work in one of the libraries. The school didn't have enough funding to give the photography class their own set of computers. Windows lined the wall across from me, the blinds only allowing you to see horizontal lines of the sky and streets outside. The rest was laid in brick, white paint thickly over it, and the flooring was faux-marble, a swirl of gray and black. The bull rung abruptly, making me jump in my seat and focus on the other people in here with me. The attention was angled at Katie, Donovan, and a few other of the popular juniors and seniors. Since this was with an elective class the grades were thrown in together on whoever decided to take it. The sophomore's were obviously cut off and they watched on with envy. Me and only three others were free spirits. Probably all new and waiting to be selected by a clique amongst their peers. After a few minutes went by, eye's wondered to the doorway, waiting for Hyde to burst in any second and demand everyone to be back in their proper seats. Suddenly my name was said and I jumped again. Several pairs of eyes turned over and collided with my startled ones. I noticed the signature blue ones immediately and paused. They glared at me and my name was repeated.
"Yeah you!" Katie's high laugh echoed and I stood awkwardly, feeling everyone's attention on me. Taking in my body, face and clothes. I had the inane urge to fold my arms and curl into myself as I walked or melt onto the floor to somehow hide from everyone's scrutiny. Katie was a bouncing ball of energy, kicking her legs wildly off the edge of the desk like a kid and had her hands in the hair, gesturing to the group of friends. Scarlet covered my face and I pushed my bangs away, trying to look everyone in the eye and not shy away. Anxiety split my brain in half, part of me wanting to run and the other frozen underneath the interested glances of my peers. The rushing of blood was too loud and I could barely keep up with what Katie was saying. I knew she was telling a story but didn't grasp it until she was through and everyone was laughing. I offered a polite chuckle and shuffled my feet against the awkward silence that followed. Never missing a beat, Katie gave me her full attention, finally explaining why I was here instead in my safe corner.
"You don't have to stand, you can sit on a desk and swing your legs like me," she dropped a wink and numb with stress, I took a desk obediently that was one over from Donavan. It was the farthest away without being right smack in the group of people. He stayed coldly polite, accepting my presence but made no gesture approving of it as Katie announced my name to the group. I recognized two of the girl's from yesterday, in the fangirl Donovan Club, and they nodded approvingly at the space between us. I gave a forced smiled and waved to everyone around me. I tried to think back to the mall, if I saw any of them there. If so, they would know me before I knew them. I had a shoe chucked at me, hard to forget something like that. No one hinted that they saw my face before and I exhaled in relief. Besides Katie, Donovan and I, there were two boys and three other girls. The two looked Hispanic with their olive skin and dark eyes -possibly related with how similar they looked- and the girls all had blonde or light brown hair. One of the blondes had a thicker figure similar to mine, not as top heavy, but it was nice to know I wasn't the odd one out. Or maybe only I felt like a dinosaur next to Katie?
"How are you liking it here so far?" One of them piped up after the introductions were made and -Samantha I recalled- directed the spotlight on me again. That had to be the sixth time someone asked me that. My face fell for half a second before I gave a one-shoulder shrug and halfway smiled.
"I'm still not use to all the rain and wet," I cleared my throat, feeling it squeeze in panic. "Probably why I'm in leggings and Katie is in a dress." I shivered and we all looked over at her swinging legs. She threw her head back and laughed, like everyone else and I ducked my head to blush.
"And how are you liking the school, Charlotte?" A cooler voice took over the chatter -one of the guys were wearing shorts and I pretended to shiver again- and a masked intensity was in Donovan's eyes as he looked at me. Katie paused in her giggling and looked up at him, utter adoration covering her face and my heart throbbed for the girl. He had on a pair of designer-fitted ripped jeans, Converse from yesterday and the cardigan over the button-up flannel he wore. I had something similar in my closet that I always tied around my waist. I was going to burn it now. He kept his ebony hair the same, short on the sides with the couple inches of hair pulled up and done in quick messy strokes over his head, barely any gel used.
"It's going just great," I started unsurely, seeing the tick in his jaw and his dominant dark eyebrows pulled together just the slightest bit. "Um, everyone is really nice and the student council is so much better here, you guys work really hard at your jobs. I can't fathom that." I slipped in a comeback to what he said in the hall earlier. Katie puffed up her petite chest and Donovan's face glowered. What the hell are you doing?! A red light went off in my head as soon as the words spilled out. Suddenly, he lifted his chin up, his full lips parting and a beautiful smile replaced the glare like a on/off switch. I blinked, stunned by the show he was giving and well...
I shook my head out of it and smiled back, not as plastic as he could, and still couldn't help the blush the crept up my throat. The other girl's were utterly smitten; at least I had some form of control. It helped that I now had an immediate disdain for him.
I had no idea what his problem was with me but I didn't care anymore. He could suck my ass.
Before he could respond with some thinly-veiled comeback, his eyes lightened with genuine happiness and everyone shouted in excitement.
"Nicky!" Katie squealed and my head swiveled around, seeing Nick walk into class ten minutes late.