AN: Another short chapter – A look at 6 consecutive birthdays for Beth and how things change in her life. I think it's cute, hope you like it too!
You were born into a strange world.
Like a candle, you were meant to share the fire.
I don't know where we come from, and I don't know where we go.
But my arms were made to hold you, so I will never let you go.
Cuz you were born to chmoonnge this life.
You were born to chase the light.
BIRTHDAY
1st August 1996 - Beth's Journal Entry – Blue Earth, Minnesota
We're in Blue Earth, it's bittersweet in that I loved coming here as a little girl, spending time with Pastor Jim and sitting in the chapel with the giant angel statue. Everything feels a bit empty this year. I'm here with the Winchesters, not Dad. Dad is dead, and at the end of the day I am alone, I have no one who knows me like he did. I don't know what to do about the sunrise in a few days. I've never had to face it alone, I don't know if I want to, I don't know if I can. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss my Dad so, so much, it's like a hole inside of me that will never be filled.
2nd August 1997
Blue Earth Minnesota
Dean's POV
"Dean, can you go find Beth please and tell her dinner is ready?" Pastor Jim said, sticking his head out of the kitchen door. "I think she's in the chapel."
"Sure thing," I replied, getting up from where I'd been reading over some notes Dad had made about a case we were going to be working on in a few days. I stretched my arms over my head, moving my torso around to get the aches out of my muscles from having sat for too long. I turned my attention to Beth and what had been going on for her lately. It was her birthday tomorrow and Sammy had some cake thing lined up with Pastor Jim, I didn't really know what she'd be thinking about her first birthday with a new family. Dad was a bit self-absorbed with a few things so I guess it was up to me as usual to check on where she was at.
I crossed through the house to the doorway that opened into a back room of the chapel. It was a short cut without having to go outside and in the main entrance. The way was lit with dimmed lighting, and it was almost dark in the chapel, Beth was sitting up the front of the chapel, head bowed as she sat in the front pew, some candles flickering on the altar in front of her. I padded quietly down to the front and seated myself next to her, silent, not wanting to break her concentration.
I didn't expect to see her looking so forlorn. She was all red-eyed and her long brown hair hung in her eyes as she stared at her hands.
"Hey," I said, realising she wasn't really praying or anything. She attempted a smile at me, but it fell short. I sighed and put my arm around her shoulders and she leaned into me with a sigh.
"So… sweet sixteen tomorrow, huh?" I asked, not really knowing what to say. Deep and meaningful conversations were more Sammy's style than my own; I'd rather just beat up something than talk about it.
Beth started to sniffle against and I realised I probably should have just shut my mouth. She covered her face with her hands and tried to stifle them, but it was a futile effort.
"Hey, come on, I know it can't be easy…" I said lamely. "But you've got us." She nodded and did her best to stop crying.
"I know… it's just… oh it's stupid," she sniffed, dabbing at her eyes and nose with a bunched up Kleenex.
"Nah I'm sure it's not stupid," I said, trying to get her to open up. She looked hesitantly at me with big chocolate eyes and I threw her a smile. "Tell me."
Beth looked back down at her hands and chewed on her lip. "It's just something my Dad used to do with me every year," she said quietly. "And my Mum before that."
"What?" I asked, curious, turning to look at her.
"He used to get me up for the sunrise, and we'd watch it together," she smiled at the memory. "It was this whole 'welcome the dawn and new beginnings' theme thing. It's silly."
I shook my head at her, realising finally what had been bothering her for the past few days. "No it's not," I said quietly to her, looking up at that stupid angel statue she liked so much. I'd lost count of the amount of times I'd sat in front of this thing and cursed angels for being nothing more than figments of the imagination. But Beth believed, I have no idea why, but she did.
I squeezed her shoulders in an encouraging hug. "Well … maybe it's time for some new traditions," I said and she bit her bottom lip again, looking dubious.
"Come on," I said encouragingly. "Tomorrow won't be as bad as you think, I promise," I said to her. She smiled at me tentatively and nodded, though the nod was missing the usual enthusiasm she had for most of my comments.
"Let's get some dinner, Pastor Jim has made lasagne," I said, my stomach rumbling loudly at the thought. Beth heard it and it made her laugh, I smiled, it was good to see her a little happier; things were always a little more dreary when she was emotionally down.
As we left the chapel, I knew what I had to do tomorrow; I had to get that smile back on her face, for all our sakes.
August 3rd, 1997 (16 years old)
Blue Earth, Minnesota
Beth's POV
I was standing on the beach, big waves crashed down upon the rocks in front of me and there was an overwhelming feeling that I was about to get pulled out to sea. I looked around saw sheer cliff faces behind me, there was no way out, I turned in a panic, another wave crashing closer still. Then suddenly there was a voice calling out to me, and I turned to see Dean waving at me from the base of the cliffs, he was standing at a barely noticeable narrow path that curved up into the rock face. "Beth!"
"Beth!" I groaned at the disruption to my sleep and rolled over to face the wall. I had my own bed at Pastor Jim's, it was so nice to not have to fight for the covers with Sam or Dean. "Beth, come on, wake up!" Dean's insistent voice was now coupled with a shaking of my shoulder.
"Go away…" I muttered, not wanting to get up, just wanting to bury myself in my misery.
Dean sighed and shook me again. "Come on birthday girl, up and at them." I groaned but let him pull me up. He was slipping sweatpants over my sleep shorts, and pulled one of his old hoodies I'd rehomed over my head. Finally he pulled tennis shoes over my bare feet.
"What's going on? Can't I at least get a sleep in on my birthday?" I complained, squinting at the clock. It wasn't even 6am!
"Nope, come on," Dean insisted, pulling me up and out the door. He had a little knapsack over his shoulder and was dressed for a run.
"A run? Serious Dean?" I whined, following him out the door just the same. I sighed, man John's regime was a killer. He didn't say anything, just started to walk briskly toward the road we would be following. "Where's Sam?" I asked, looking around for the young guy.
"Not coming," Dean said. "Just you and me on this run kiddo." I shook my head, wondering where we were going. It wasn't even light out yet, I seriously didn't understand John and his training ideas sometimes. I grimaced, wishing he'd had the presence of mind to have put socks on my feet before the tennis shoes. But it was too late to go back and get some now.
I followed him, my breathing evening out as we wound our way through a few back streets to Putnam Park. Dean was a few feet ahead of me and I blinked my eyes, trying to push aside my weariness from a restless night of dreaming. We ran through the park, the early morning air was crisp and vibrant, the sound of birds in the trees chirping to the growing day. It was getting lighter out and pretty soon Dean led over a bridge crossing Blue Earth River.
On the other side of the river he crossed the road to a small gravel track that led down to the riverbed. I frowned, wondering what training exercise he could possibly have in mind; I really hoped it didn't involve getting wet. He stopped at the water's edge, and I paused behind him, hands on my hips as I caught my breath.
Dean turned to look at me, a strange quirky smile on his face. "Come here," he said, indicating I should join him with a shake of his head. I hesitated, wondering what sort of trick he had up his sleeve. He saw the hesitation and laughed.
"This isn't a training exercise Beth," he said softly and I frowned.
"Then what is it?" I asked.
"It's a sunrise," he said simply and it dawned on me. I bit my lip to keep it from trembling.
"Come here," he said again, and this time I joined him.
He led us over to a pile of boulders, and leaned up against a large flat one that sat out from the others. Leaning his palms flat against the rock, he pushed himself up backwards to sit on it, and I quickly followed him, curious as to what he had in mind.
The bridge framed the view in front of us like a rainbow with a curve going over the river. The river itself turned sharply as it passed the bridge toward us, allowing us dry land to be sitting in such an interesting position staring straight ahead as the sun started to peak out over the horizon. My heart leapt at the sight of the red tinged clouds spreading across the sky, and then the half circle sun starting to show itself. As the sun climbed higher into the sky the colours changed, bleeding to pinks and orange hues. I leaned shoulder to shoulder with Dean, comfortable and happy. I was happy to have my hair down because I could let it fall across my face to hide all the fresh tears that were building there.
Dean started to squirm and I almost giggled at how uncomfortable he suddenly seemed sitting here having what he would describe as a 'chick-flick moment'. He jumped off the rock, turning to me all cool, calm and collected, but there was a hint of satisfaction there, like he knew he'd just gotten something right.
"Thank you," I said quietly with a smile, the ache in my heart had disappeared just a little as I saw that sun come up, like it was saying yes, I could get through another year, and maybe even another after that. But one year at a time for now.
"Oh I'm not done yet," Dean said with a grin. I raised an eyebrow at him, tossing him a quizzical look. He reached into his knapsack and pulled out a thermos and a couple of containers of something. "It's not cake, it's better," he explained to me, handing me one of the containers, putting the other one down.
"There's something better than cake?" I asked, teasing him. I already knew his answer.
Dean looked disgustedly at me, setting two mugs on the rock and starting to pour what looked like hot cocoa from the thermos. He handed me one with a smirk and then grinned.
"Pie of course!" He answered which earned a laugh from me. I opened up the contained and inside was a huge chunk of lemon meringue pie, my favourite.
"Oh this is definitely better than cake," I said with a smile, Dean handed me a fork with a grin.
"Told ya," he said, taking a bite of his own pie while I tried some of mine. It was tart and sweet at the same time, perfect combination. I moaned my appreciation and Dean chuckled, holding out his mug of cocoa in toast fashion.
"Happy birthday," he said to me with a serious look. I couldn't help but smile, looking at those big hazel eyes staring at me. I'd never had a brother, or a sister for that matter, suddenly I felt like maybe I belonged somewhere, like maybe I had a new family; it really hadn't taken much at all to dull that ache inside of me.
We ate the rest of our pie in silence, comfortable in each other's company. When we were done Dean collected up all the containers and mugs, putting them back in the knapsack. I groaned, getting off the rock and he shook his head.
"Maybe we'll just walk back," he offered, not wanting to upset our stomachs with a run after pie and cocoa. I nodded my agreement, starting to walk back up the slight incline to the bridge. As we reached the bridge and started crossing it, Dean hurried to catch me, sliding his arm around my shoulders in a friendly embrace. He pulled me against him with a little squeeze and smiled again. I slid my arm around his waist and along the pavement looking out over the river with the sun rising above it. Light shimmered along the water, and the day was looking to be bright and cheerful.
"So… ok sunrise?" He asked, staring straight ahead before glancing down at me. I smiled up at him.
"Best one yet," I said with a grin, and he laughed, pulling me along the pavement with him.
"It's the pie," he explained. "Pie makes everything better."
August 3rd, 1998 (17 years old)
Salt Lake City, Utah
Dean's POV
Dad and Sammy had the other bed, somehow it always fell to either Sam or me sharing the bed with Beth; Dad must have had a thing about sleeping in the same bed with his newly adopted daughter. I didn't know what that was about. Sam and Beth had fallen asleep in separate beds, this was odd because they usually shared; as such I ended up with the restless sleeper. Beth had kept me up half the night tossing and turning fitfully. I'd watched her as she rolled from one side to the other, muttering out loud occasionally. Just when she'd settle down, she'd roll onto her arm and the bandage there, and would almost awaken with a pained cry; then we'd start all over again.
Eventually around 1am I rolled over to face her, and caught her as she rolled her back to me. Her bandaged arm was safely dangling down her side, so there was no danger of her rolling on to it, and her body softened as I pulled her against me. She settled almost immediately with a sigh and her breathing became lighter and even. I had my arm around her and felt uncomfortable with the proximity, it seemed slightly wrong given that she was my sister, of sorts. But if it meant getting a good night's sleep then I was going to do it, sometimes she just needed it, Sam would hold her like this too and he never seemed to have an issue with it, but then, that was Sam. After a little while sleep claimed me too.
We were in a derelict building; it was falling down all around us. Paint peeled from the ceiling, cobwebs clung to almost every surface. The dank smell of years of rotting timber from water damage assailed our senses. Dad was across from me, silver stake in hand. Revenants were always a pain in the ass to deal with, you had to nail them into a coffin and then bury it. Getting it into the coffin was the tricky part, because they were faster and stronger than they appeared. Beth walked through the big empty room, looking nervous. This revenant had shown a particular propensity to attack women, so she was the bait, whether we liked it or not.
It came out of nowhere, attacking at a blinding speed. Beth spun and ducked, but it still managed to tackle her to the ground with a shrill scream. I saw Dad move before any of us, I wasn't much slower off the mark. He hit the creature dead on, ramming the stake right through its rib cage. The creature reared up and snarled, it was on top of Beth who was trying to push it off.
"Dean! Coffin!" Dad yelled and I reached for the back of the creature getting my arms around it. It threw me off and with another snarl it pounced on Beth, and I heard a sickening shriek as it bit into her lower arm, the sweet metallic smell of blood filling the cold air around us. I grabbed it again, this time maintaining my hold and pulling it off Beth who rolled away to safety; Sammy had opened the coffin while Dad punched the creature in the face, stunning it, buying me just enough time to get my hands under its arms and lift it, carrying it the short distance to the coffin and tossing it in. Sam pulled his own silver stake out and rammed it through the torso, pinning it to the coffin floor. The creature snarled and fought while I slammed shut the coffin and locked it.
Immediately I looked for Beth who was sitting a few feet away holding her arm, eyes wide and skin pale. Dad rushed to her side, pulling out a cloth and wrapping it around the wound, it looked nasty, probably need a tetanus shot, I thought with a quirky smile. "You'll be ok Bethie," Dad was saying to her, lifting her effortlessly in his arms and carrying her toward the exit.
"You boys get that coffin in the ground!" Dad ordered us and we nodded.
I startled awake, the image of that wound fresh in my head, Beth! I didn't realise it but I must have said her name out loud because she turned to look at me, eyes sleepy.
"You ok?" She asked with a yawn.
"Yeah," I said, pulling back from her a little, conscious I was clinging to her now.
"Bad dream?" She asked, looking at me a little worried.
"Yeah," I muttered, shaking my head to clear it.
She turned to face me and wrapped her arms around me, snuggling in close, her head falling on to my pillow, tucked just below my chin. "You're safe, I'll protect you," she mumbled with a giggle and I chuckled. I didn't want to admit it, but even though it made me feel uncomfortable and I didn't really want to look at why that was, feeling her pressed up against me helped ease my mind a little, at least I knew she was safe. We both fell asleep again in minutes.
Pre-dawn came way too soon for me, it had been a massive couple of days. Beth was still wrapped around me when I woke, and I extracted myself from her, moving to pull on some jeans and an over shirt over my t-shirt and boxers. I went about gathering what I now considered the essential items – apple pie this time, and hot cocoa – Beth woke up and watched me as I put everything together, a little smile on her face.
"You coming, or am I going alone?" I asked her with a grin. She hurriedly crawled out of bed and pulled on her own jeans and baggy sweater, pulling her hair up in a ponytail. We looked over at Dad and Sam, sprawled out on opposite sides of their bed and chuckled, slipping out the door.
Salt Lake City has some of the most amazing sunrises because of the Wasatch Range. I'd seen some great ones when we'd been here doing other cases as kids. This morning's sunrise was promising to live up to expectations. We took the Impala, and drove up to a lookout not far away, parking in the early morning sun to look out over the sleepy city. The sky was already on fire with bright oranges and peaches, washing along the horizon and lighting up the clouds that hung low in the atmosphere.
I silently handed Beth her pie and cocoa and she grinned. "Another good choice," she commented, I nodded back at her.
"So, another year down." I said to her. She nodded silently, thinking.
"You know," she said finally. "Even though it's been a horrible, horrible year in some regards, and I still miss my Dad terribly..." I nodded quietly, I could relate, I still missed my mom and it had been a lot longer for me. "It's been great too, I'm glad I have you guys," she said with a smile, I looked at the way she leaned casually on the Impala's hood, a lazy smile on her face, she had come a long way from the wound up fifteen year old we'd picked up in Wisconsin a few years back.
"Thank you for doing this," she said quietly. "I just thought you should know I appreciate it, you know, before I turn into the walking undead."
I frowned at her and shook my head. "Undead?"
She waved her bandaged arm around in the air as evidence that death was imminent. I rolled my eyes and chuckled.
"Would take a lot more than a bite to turn you revenant," I said to her with a laugh.
"It would be kind of ironic though wouldn't it?" She laughed back at me, I noticed for the first time just how much her eyes shone when we laughed, and my gut tightened a little bit at the thought. She was gorgeous, but she didn't know it, and I sure as hell wasn't supposed to be thinking it. I sobered a little and looked toward the sun rising in the distance, lighting up the city before it.
"I hope this year is better than the last," Beth said, resting her head against my shoulder.
"What would make it better?" I asked, curious. She paused and seemed to give it some thought.
"Honest?" She asked, looking up at me all of a sudden, I nodded.
"Teach me to work on the Impala," she said with a grin. I raised my eyebrow at her.
"You, under a hood?" I asked, sceptical. She nodded enthusiastically. "Why?" I asked.
She shrugged, the movement subtle and honest. "It's something you enjoy, and I am curious, I mean we spend the majority of our lives in her, it's the least I can do, learn to give her a basic service or something." I thought about the suggestion and grinned – I couldn't see why I couldn't give her a few lessons, it could even be fun. And least someone was showing an interest, Sammy never did.
"Done, we'll start tomorrow. Happy birthday little sister," I said to her quietly, kissing the top of her head.
August 2nd-3rd, 1999 (18 years old)
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Beth's POV
Sam was on his phone as they wheeled me into the hospital, stabbing, crippling pain shot up my side again and I cried out, clutching at the side railing of the gurney I was on. We'd been leaving the library when it had hit me, a side-splitting pain that cut right through me. Sam had panicked and called 911 right away, within half an hour I was on the way to the hospital.
"Burst appendix..." Sam was saying to John, his voice a little pitchy, but for the most part he was ok.
"Sam!" I said, reaching out for him. Suddenly I felt really scared to be left alone and I didn't know what was going to be happening to me. He reached out and grabbed my hand, keeping pace with the gurney as they wheeled me down a long corridor.
"Where are you taking her?" Sam asked the doctor.
"Your sister has a burst appendix, we need to get her into surgery right away," one of the nurses explained. Sam looking pale at the idea, none of us had ever needed surgery.
"Dad and Dean are on their way, it'll be ok Beth," Sam said, stopping short as one of the nurses pulled him away from me. I craned my neck to look back at my little brother standing in the swinging door staring at me being wheeled away.
Hazel eyes were staring intently at me as I squeezed open one eye, peeking out. The room was bright and I couldn't bare it, jamming my eyes closed again. Dean's hearty laugh sounded, and I wondered what he found so amusing.
"I'll get the curtains," he said, and I heard him move from beside the bed and the tell-tale sound of the curtain rings chinking as he pulled them closed. I tentatively looked out again and it was a lot better.
I watched him come back to sit beside me, those worried hazel eyes catching mine and taking everything in.
"I can't believe I got appendicitis. How random is that?" I asked with a sigh. Dean chuckled and nodded.
"And I'm gonna be stuck here for the next day," I sighed, looking at him with clear meaning behind my eyes. I was laid up in hospital on the eve of my birthday. Dean looked conflicted and squeezed my hand silently. There was a knock at the door and I looked up to see John and Sam standing in the door way.
"Hey Bethie, how are you feeling?" John asked me.
"Butchered," I complained, trying to sit up a little and gasping at the sharp jolt that shot through my stomach. John gave me a little chuckle and ruffled the hair on my head in an affectionate gesture.
"Well, the doctor assures me you'll be up and at things in no time," John reassured me, giving my hand a squeeze.
"She'll be fine, she's a tough cookie," a voice sounded from the hallway and I looked up to see Cole standing there with her blond-brown hair all a-glow from the light in the hallway.
"Hey Cole," I greeted her, "what are you doing here?"
"Just finishing up my shift for the day, thought I better come and see what damage you'd been doing to yourself; Sammy called me." Cole said, coming into the room and glancing at my charts at the end of the bed. She looked confident and self-assured, nodding at what she saw there. "You'll be out of here in no time," Cole said. I looked at her hopeful.
"Can I go home tonight?" I asked, disappointed when she frowned and shook her head.
"No, not that short a time frame, a day or two most likely," she said. I sighed. "Come on," Cole said with a smirk. "Hospital food isn't that bad." I kept my eyes looking down, forcing myself not to look at Dean who was watching the whole scene unfold without any participation.
"Yeah I know," I grumbled, looking up at her with a forced smile.
They all hung around for a while, talking and we even got in a round of poker. At 9pm the nurse came to shoo everyone away because visiting hours had finished half an hour ago and we were starting to get a little rowdy with our laughter.
Cole and Sam trailed out after a couple of kisses and hugs, leaving John and Dean in the room. I hesitated to see either of them go because I didn't want to be alone. I hadn't slept alone in years; it was suddenly a daunting prospect.
"You ok?" John asked, seeing the panic cross my face. I shook my head slowly.
"What's wrong?" Dean asked, his eyes full of concern.
I chewed on my lower lip, how to explain this one to a pair of guys who often complained about our cramped sleeping arrangements.
"You'll laugh," I said, chuckling myself. Dean and John exchanged an amused look and John leaned against the bed, crossing his arms over his chest with a smirk.
"Tell us anyway," he said with a grin.
I rolled my eyes. "Well, maybe I'm a little nervous about staying here on my own." I confessed, certain my face was turning beet red.
John looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and Dean outright snorted. "You're complaining about having your own bed for the first time in years?" I laughed and then whimpered; that really hurt. I groaned, falling back against my pillow.
"Stoppppp… it hurts!" I groaned and whimpered as I laughed harder.
John and Dean laughed with me and the nurse came back in with a stern look. John sobered at her disapproving stare and Dean shook his head.
"You want me to stay?" John asked, I nodded quietly. I didn't want to be alone.
"It's ok Dad, I'll stay, your old bones need the bed more than me," Dean said and he chuckled at John's playful glare about the age comment. Just the same, John didn't disagree. He nodded and leaned down to kiss me on the forehead.
"OK. I'll see you in the morning. Get some rest," he said, turning to leave. He gave Dean a sharp look that told him he'd better behave himself and let me sleep before leaving us alone. The nurse peeked in at us again and gave Dean a stare.
"Yeah, yeah, Nurse Ratched, you can put your nasty looks away, I ain't moving." Dean said to her and she opened her mouth in disbelief as he parked himself on the chair next to me and gave her a stony stare of defiance. Dean won the stare-off and the nurse retreated to her station, shaking her head in disbelief. Dean grinned and looked over at me.
"Get some sleep, I'll be here to get the Boogeyman if he comes out from under the bed," he said, and I actually felt better about that. It was strange being laid up like this, vulnerable to attack. With a smile I lay back and closed my eyes, worn out from the day.
The next morning Dean was up way before me, and I heard him out in the hallway conversing with someone. I opened my eyes and Cole was standing outside the room arguing with Dean. She shoved a package at him and threw her hands up in the air once he took it before stalking off down a hallway.
Dean shook his head and came in chuckling.
"What's going on? Why are you arguing with Cole?" I asked.
"I'm always arguing with Cole, you know that," Dean smirked.
"Dean..." I said warningly. He shook his head at me and rolled his eyes.
Cole came back wheeling a chair in front of her and I looked with a raised eyebrow at them both.
"This isn't a good idea," Cole said sourly. "You won't be able to get to the top with the chair."
"I'll carry her up the rest of the way," Dean said, shrugging at her.
Cole realised there was no point in arguing with him so simply nodded her head. When Dean had his head set to something there was no getting around it.
I was grinning away like a Cheshire cat and this got a laugh out of Cole who shook her head at me.
"You and your damn birthday thing," she said, but her tone was light as if she understood.
They both helped me down from the bed, getting me comfortable in the wheelchair, Cole tucking a blanket around my legs.
"Just for the record, I think this is a bad idea," she said sternly. Dean huffed at her and waved her off, she rolled her eyes and with a shake of her head she was gone.
Dean put the package from Cole on my lap, and took the handles. We were at the stairs in no time. I hesitated for the first time, not sure about this idea, but Dean was confident. He squatted next to me and looked up into my eyes.
"Ready?" He asked, and I nodded silently.
Carefully he slipped his arm around my back, and the other under my knees, first testing the weight and getting his balance. I held on to the package and leaned in to him. I felt myself hoisted into his arms with just the slightest pulling on my stitches. I hissed a little at the pain, and he hesitated. When I leaned in to him, grateful for the support his chest gave, he continued with his insane idea.
Using his foot to prop open the door, Dean carried me up the remaining lot of stairs to the rooftop where we ignored the "no access beyond this point" sign and went through. I hoped the it wasn't silently alarmed, or this trip was going to be a very short one.
Dean put me down on an air-conditioning unit, tucking the blanket around me again. It was cool in the early morning air, and he took his brown leather jacket off, tucking it around my shoulders.
"Won't you get cold?" I asked, but I noticed he had on a long-sleeved t-shirt and it wasn't that cold. He shook his head with a little smile.
"I'm ok," he reassured me. He took the package out of my hands and opened it, pulling out key lime pie. "Now, the doctor says you shouldn't be eating anything fatty or whatever for a while, but I say you just can't beat pie after surgery." Not that he'd know, but the point was still fair.
"And it's got key lime in it, so it's practically healthy," he said with a grin.
After we'd eaten our pie the wind picked up and I noticed he was starting to look cold. I pulled his jacket off and handed it back to him.
"Here, I have the blanket," I said. He shrugged into the jacket and looked at me with a cheeky grin.
"I have a better idea," he said, and I watched him curiously as he climbed up behind me, settling in behind my back, legs dangling either side of me. He pulled me back against his chest and wrapped the edges of the jacket around me in a hug. It was warm and comforting and I leaned into it with a smile.
"Happy birthday," he whispered into my ear as the sun started to peek up over the buildings of Sioux Falls, lighting up the day. Despite the surgery, I did indeed feel happy and it had nothing to do with my birthday.
3rd August 2000 (19yrs old)
Wichita, Kansas
Dean's POV
I crawled into the bed with a groan. It had been a long long day in the car, and would be another long day tomorrow as we made our way across country for a job. Tomorrow we would be knee deep in the hunt for a ghoul, a foul creature that ate the dead and took on the form of whatever it had eaten. Tonight, I just wanted to close my eyes and sleep.
Sam and Beth crawled into the other bed, getting comfortable. Dad was sitting on the couch reading by the lamp and making notes in his journal and would probably sleep there, which meant I had the bed to myself, just the same, I was conscious that sometimes Dad didn't like the couch, so I laid on my side of the bed, facing Beth.
She turned to look at me, her eyes tired but still holding that cheeky little twinkle they often did. I couldn't help but smile at her, this past year had only seen us get closer and closer, she was probably my best friend now and I could tell her anything. Well, almost anything. She kind of knew how I felt though, I just couldn't admit it to her. So I lied, to her, but mostly to myself.
Not long after her birthday last year we'd had a run of situations tossing us together, I'd even kissed her a couple of times, which she said had been a huge mistake every time. I wasn't quite so sure, I wouldn't have minded seeing where things went. I couldn't help it, my heart was constantly fighting with my head over Beth, and my head was starting to lose. She'd rejected me, October last year after a hunt for a psychopathic ghost, but I'd broken the rules, and it had nearly gotten her killed. Dad's rules rung in my mind now – no involvement with my sister.
The rejection from her, the agreement with me that we couldn't act on our feelings had pushed me to go out one night and pick up the first good looking girl that looked like Beth. It had been a great night, she'd been a great girl, but she hadn't filled the hole. Beth had been cold with me since then, back to the sister-brother relationship. It was frustrating, but maybe it was necessary. I didn't know what Dad would say if he found out about how we felt, or at least about how I felt – I wasn't so sure how she felt these days.
She drifted off to sleep, a peaceful calm crossing over her face. I loved to watch her sleep. Eventually Dad turned out the light and bed down on the couch for the night, I turned away so I wouldn't have to look at Beth any longer and tried to get some much needed shut-eye.
I felt it before I saw it, a tendril of darkness, like a shadow brushing across my face. I reached for the silver knife under my pillow and spun around, slicing at the air. My knife met nothing solid, instead swirling through a fine mist. I tried to sound a warning to the others but my throat was suddenly constricted, and I found it hard to breathe. I found myself frozen in place once I rolled over, a paralysis overtaking me. I struggled to breathe, I couldn't even see what was attacking me other than it was a shadow-like being.
I was pinned, unable to move, and this thing seemed to have no physical body whatsoever. I choked, gagging as the room started to spin around me, my eyes blurred and I was going to die, with no way to do anything about it.
"Christos," I heard Beth say in a startled voice. The pressure on my throat eased, I could see out of the corner of my eye that she had awoken and was sitting up, climbing out of bed. "The light of the Christos repels you," she said this time, looking at the figure hovering over me. It was like it hesitated. Beth shook Sam who sat up with a start. Dad was awake now too and moving for the duffel bag.
Beth reached out and flipped the light switch directly over my bed, light flooded the bed and the creature retreated to the corner where it was darkest. Dad had grabbed a container of salt and was sprinkling it around the creature, it hissed at him and made for another dark area. Beth flipped the switch off again, plunging the room into darkness. The creature became over confident and stepped toward her, but that had been the plan. Dad sealed the circle of salt behind it as Beth moved out of the way. It was stuck.
"Dean!" She was at my side, helping me to sit up. "Are you ok?" She asked worriedly. I swallowed and nodded, unable to say anything. She ran her hands over my face and down my chest as if to double check herself, seemingly happy that I wasn't bleeding to death or worse.
"What is that thing?" I asked finally, running a hand across my face.
"A Shadow Person," she said, looking back at the creature. It was pacing, if you could call it that, more like floating around and around the boundary of the salt circle, trapped.
"They're a type of spirit," Dad said to us, frowning at it. "Come from someone who died a violent death, usually by strangulation." I thought about my own brush with that and shuddered, Beth rested her hand on my thigh, she hadn't moved since she'd come over to me.
"How do we kill it?" Sam asked, arms crossed over his chest.
"Salt and burn," Dad said simply. That sounded a lot easier than it would be, who knew who this spirit belonged to.
"Or we wait for sunrise," Beth said with a smile, looking at me. Not exactly what I'd had planned for the birthday sunrise tradition.
"Sunrise?" I questioned.
"Yeah, they are shadow creatures, the light of the sun will destroy them," she said.
"Man, how do you know all this stuff?" I muttered.
"Heidi Hollis – Coast to Coast AM – she talks about them all the time," Beth remarked with a chuckle and I shook my head. I always thought the woman was a quack.
"She to thank for the Christos thing too?" Dad asked her and received a nod. "Well I'll be damned..." Dad was chuckling and shaking his head, I frowned, my near-death was hardly a laughing matter!
"Well, I'm getting out of here, I have no desire to be in this room with that thing any longer." I said, pulling on a pair of jeans and my boots. I grabbed my leather jacket off the end of the bed and shrugged into it, looking back at Beth.
"Want to come for a walk with me?" I asked, trying to sound casual, not like we didn't go off on our own most of the time. Beth nodded, and pulled on her own jeans, boots and jacket – the hunter wardrobe she called it. She flipped her hair over her shoulders and grinned, I already knew where we had to go, I'd spotted it on our way into town, and maybe we still had some time.
"You guys want us to grab you breakfast while we're out?" I asked, looking at Dad and Sam. Dad nodded, eyes back on the Shadow Person which was starting to fade.
I didn't need any further prompting, now we had an excuse to get out of there. As soon as we were out of sight I grabbed her hand and pulled her into a brisk jog. I figured we had about ten minutes before sun up, just enough time. Five minutes later we were standing in front of a little mom and pop diner with a big bay window that faced east, the sun was coming up over the horizon, deep purples and pinks in the sky this year. I pulled Beth in and sat her in the window opposite me at the table. Her eyes weren't on the sunrise.
A chubby little middle-aged woman with a big beaming smile came over and asked what we'd like.
"Pie," we both responded in unison, laughing at the look she gave us.
"Well you've come to the right place! I have a delicious chocolate pecan pie you're gonna love!" She beamed at us. We nodded our consent and asked for a couple of hot chocolates to go with it. Beth was still looking at me with her typical worried eyes. She reached out and cupped my cheek with her hand, sighing.
"You ok?" She asked, watching me when she should have been watching the sun. I nodded, leaning in to her touch a little.
"Yeah I'm fine, don't worry." I said to her, smiling at the woman as she brought back the plates of pie.
"Ohh aren't you two just the cutest pair," she said with a giggle, wrinkling her nose up at us. "You remind me of when I was your age and dating my husband Henry, we used to go to the local diner and split a sundae." She patted her generous belly and laughed. "We've been doing that for thirty-five years!" Beth smiled at her and congratulated them on their long-lived relationship, Henry beamed over at us, waving as he poured our drinks.
"Well you know, when you find the right girl you gotta hold on to her – that was my Veronica," Henry said, grinning at the woman again. He carried our drinks over and put them on the table. Beth had dropped her hand from my face, but I noticed it was still resting near mine on the table. "A lot of people have tried to split us up over the years," Henry said, putting his arm around his wife, "but the heart wants what the heart wants, so you gotta just follow that." We smiled politely at them and Veronica bustled about.
"Come on Henry, let's give them some privacy!" She said, shooing him back to the kitchen. When they were gone we just stared out the window as the sun climbed up through the clouds. I moved my hand over Beth's and squeezed it.
"Happy birthday," I said quietly, looking over at her. She smiled, though she looked a little sad. "Thinking about that shadow thing?" I asked, and received a nod.
I sighed and looked at her. "Well don't, I'm fine, and I'm not going anywhere," I promised, surprised to realise that I actually meant it, I'd been saying nonsense like that to girls my entire life, but the one time I meant it was the one girl I wasn't meant to be saying it to. She smiled at me, albeit still a little sad.
"I'm sorry Beth," I said, she knew what I was talking about.
"Me too," she said softly, looking up at the sun again. "You think there'll come a time we can't do this?" She asked, I assumed she was referring to the birthday pie tradition and stated as much, she nodded.
"Nope," I replied honestly.
"Really?" She asked, looking surprised. "What about when you're married and have a van full of kids?" I laughed at the ridiculous image of that statement.
"You seriously see me doing that?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. She grimaced and tilted her head thoughtfully in my direction.
"Well... maybe one day. Never know what's going to happen," Beth said, looking down at our hands still touching on the table.
"I don't think a hunter's life makes for a very committed or opportune chance to develop a relationship worth pursuing to that level." I said to her. Unless one happened to find a hunter just like you, I thought. She nodded silently.
"Yeah, you might be right there," she said, staring out the window again. It was time to lift the mood. I cut a big mouthful of pie from her plate using the spoon and held it out to her, she took the bite and chewed, moaning at how good it tasted. I grinned.
"Well until that day, birthday pie is my gig. I'm all yours." I said, taking a bite of my own pie and chewing thoughtfully. The smile I received from that statement was enough to melt my heart. She sure wasn't that shy little fifteen year old anymore, and it was getting harder and harder to deny it.
3rd August 2001 (20yrs old)
Memphis, Tennessee
Beth's POV
I ducked out early, avoiding Dean. I was still super angry at him and didn't want to listen to yet another excuse. My mind was a blur with the last few days of fights and arguments. It'd gotten so bad that John and Sam had actually been getting a long, and that was saying something. They'd even gotten their own room and left Dean and I to fight it out.
Dean was still asleep when I left and I was careful to be quiet so I wouldn't wake him up. I pulled on my runners and started jogging at a brisk pace down through the park near where we were staying. It was still dark but I wasn't worried, I had a knife tucked in my boot and a gun at my back, if anyone decided to attack me they'd be sorry.
After about a mile I slowed to a walk, the anger starting to dissipate. I don't even know how I had a right to be angry at him, but I was anyway. I thought we were better than this, I thought we were done tossing this crap in each other's faces. Apparently not. I settled down on a bench overlooking a man-made lake, there were ducks and other birdlife floating around, the trees were buzzing with activity as the sun was starting to rise.
I was too busy staring off into the distance feeling sorry for myself that I didn't realise I had company right away.
"Twenty-seven hours." Dean said simply and I raised an eyebrow at him. When I didn't say anything he turned and looked at me. "Since you said a word to me." He clarified. I glared and stared back at the water rippling in front of me.
"Come on Beth, you can't stay mad at me forever," Dean said to me. I looked at him stonily.
"You ditched me Dean, to go hang with some slut of a girl!" I said crankily, thinking about the girl we'd run into while out shopping for an angel for my collection.
"What? No I didn't, she was a very respectable girl, although that thing she did with her tongue made me think she'd done that a few times before..." The look I gave him kind of stopped that train of thought dead in its tracks.
"What she could do with her tongue isn't the point Dean! You still ditched me!" I stood up and started to pace along the lake shoreline.
"Oh come on Beth," Dean said, standing up and looking at me. "You're over-reacting just a little here."
"Am I? You promised me Dean." I wasn't budging on this one, I was still really upset.
Dean grabbed me as I walked past him, pulling me to face him. He shook me to try and get some sense into me.
"Would you just stop it!" He demanded. I stared up at him, tears in my eyes. It wasn't just the blonde that had pissed me off, it was the fact that he'd promised to do something with me, and I rarely made him promise me anything.
Suddenly I felt his soft lips claim mine in an urgent kiss, he was firm and tender all at the same time and I felt myself slipping away from the anger I was feeling as butterflies did somersaults in my stomach. He held my chin with one hand, his other one snaking around my waist to my lower back and pulling me into him.
I moaned in response, clutching at his t-shirt, fully aware that I should be pushing him away instead of pulling him closer. After what seemed a lifetime where he'd fully explored my mouth and lips we pulled apart and my heart sank with the futility of it all.
"What are you doing?" I asked forlornly. "You know we can't..."
"Shut up," he said, kissing me again, drowning out any protest I might have come up with. He pulled back again and looked at me.
"I know, I know we can't." He said quietly. "Can't we just have a day where we can put that aside? Just a day?"
I stared at him, my heart racing a mile a minute. The sun had crept into the sky and I'd missed it, but I didn't care.
"OK." I said softly, looking up at him. "OK." He leaned down to me again, lips claiming mine again as I opened up to him and let him claim me.
My head was giving me all the reasons I should just push him away and run right now, but my heart won. So many years of running and he was asking for a moment, a little stolen moment in time where we could just act on our feelings. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks already as the hopeful heart inside of me meet with the crushing reality that was our lives.
John would never allow it. John had always said we could not go there, it would break the family unit, it would put us at risk, it would make us vulnerable. We were brother and sister, not lovers.
I slipped my arms around Dean's waist and when he pulled away again I rested my head on his chest, watching the water glimmer under the early morning rays of light. His heart was racing, I could hear it under my ear. I squeezed my eyes tight, holding back the tears.
"Happy birthday," Dean said, brushing his thumbs across my closed eyes. "Come on, I promised I was going to take you, and we're going to go." He said, lifting my chin to look at me again. "It is the King after all, surely they'll have a diner there where we can get some damn pie," he commented and I laughed. I kissed him again softly and then nodded.
We moved as one toward the motel where we could get the car. I'd almost come full circle so we weren't that far away. Graceland was now top of the agenda for the day and I was thrilled, I'd always wanted to visit, and with Dean by my side, you couldn't have given me a better birthday present.
3rd August 2002 (21yrs old)
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Dean's POV
It had been the longest year yet. We'd started it out with a forbidden kiss, to feel something we shouldn't be. Then we'd tried to move back into some kind of platonic friendship, like we'd had. We failed miserably, and what had been left in our wake was a multitude of stolen kisses, frustrated fights as we tried to adhere to Dad's rules, and angry words when we inevitably did something to hurt the other one because we couldn't get over the frustration of denying ourselves what we wanted.
The last couple of months had been the most intense, reaching a boiling point over the Summer, I'd dated a girl who had dumped me when she realised I was hung up on Beth. Beth dated a guy to get back at me for that, or at least that is what I hoped it was about. I'd interrupted the date and kissed her on the way back to the motel, only to pull away and throw the same line in her face that she used on me every time. "I shouldn't have. We can't. I'm sorry."
Bloody line should be like our mantra. We'd gotten past it, somehow repaired all the damage we did to each other every time we got close like that, and we had been going so well. Then that bloody werewolf had to step in and throw a spanner in the works.
Last night we'd been hunting the werewolf, the next we were beat to hell, sitting in Bobby's kitchen, and getting patched up. I don't know what Cole had given me to help with the pain, but it had almost knocked me out. Beth somehow got me up to bed and crashed in with me, worried about the effect the medicine was having on me. She had watched me for almost an hour before I couldn't take it any more, I just had to feel her against me.
I reached out, brushing my hand along her face and she startled, her eyes widening when she realised that I was still awake, and I was fully aware that she had been staring at me as I pretended to be asleep. Sam was snoring away in the other bed, so I had no problem whatsoever pulling her in to me, brushing my lips along hers. I tentatively tested the waters first, to see where her refusal gauge was at – it was always different each time we stole these little moments. Tonight it was almost non-existent.
I felt her yield to my kisses, a couple of soft sighs falling from her as she lay down beside me, her hands coming around my waist to pull me closer. I groaned, rolling in and pushing her back against the mattress, leaning over to deepen the kiss as I pinned her down, my right hand running the length of her body, brushing lightly along her side, down over her bare hip where her shorts had pulled down slightly.
My breath caught at the thought of how very little she was actually wearing; I brought my hand up again, brushing my thumb so lightly over the thin fabric of her tank top. She had taken off her bra and I couldn't resist trailing my fingers along the underside of her breast, drawing a slight moan from her which I smothered with a kiss. She pulled back a little, anxious, and I slowed it down again, chiding myself for being so pushy. If I wasn't careful I'd push her so far she'd run away again – I had other ideas about that this year. This year I planned to make some changes.
Morning had brought the same old denial routine though. We'd woken up, her tucked in to me and I had her pulled tightly against me, I wanted nothing more than to kiss her and take it further, but Sam woke up and dragged us out of the moment. Beth rolled away, slightly panicked, and when Sam left the room, barely even glancing at us, she was out of bed rummaging through her things.
"What are you doing?" I asked, looking at her, frustrated.
"Getting my things, I'll bunk in with Cole for the rest of the stay," she answered, refusing to look at me.
"So we're not going to talk about what happened last night?" I asked plainly, I wasn't going to let her side step around this again. She stopped moving, looking up with me, I noticed for the first time she was crying.
"Beth, oh Beth come on don't cry." I said, moving toward her. She stepped back and held a hand out between us, I paused and frowned at her. This wasn't exactly how I'd thought this conversation would go down.
"I can't..." she whispered. I felt the same old anger and frustration rising in me.
"Dammit Beth! Why do you always do this?" I said loudly, running a hand through my hair and then standing with both hands on my hips.
"Do what Dean?" Beth asked, moving again and shoving things into her bag.
"Push me away! You're hot, you're cold, just make up your damn mind!" I said angrily, I'd almost reached my limit on this yo-yo game we'd been playing.
"You know we can't," Beth said quietly, her head hanging down, hair in her face. "I didn't mean it..." Those words hit me the hardest, because I'd used them on her not a month ago, and even when I'd said them I knew I'd been lying – just like I knew she was lying now.
"Yeah, you never do!" I said with a frustrated tone. I grabbed a few items of clothing from off the top of my bag and stormed out of the room, running into a surprised looking Cole who had been about to enter. I pushed past her without a word, crossing to the bathroom and slamming the door. Just how was I going to get her to see sense?
The day had been murder, table shopping because Cole and Dad had ruined it in a training session, or something like that. Beth and I had tussled a few times in angst-ridden moments that never went any further as she seemed determined to push me away again. She had moved her things up to Cole's room and we all went to bed at a reasonable hour. I was just glad to get away from it all and sink into oblivion, to try and shove it all back into the darkness.
I woke up to soft hands shaking my shoulder and I turned quickly, startled. It was Beth, and I wondered for a moment if I was dreaming. I glanced at my watch which glowed back at me, it was 2am. I had no idea where Dad was, he'd never come to bed, and all of a sudden I didn't give a damn.
"Hey, you ok?" I asked softly, trying not to wake Sam. The guy didn't even move, his soft snoring continuing uninterrupted. She shook her head at me, and I felt my heart melt. I reached out, pulling her under the covers with me, tangling her up in my embrace. "What's wrong?" I asked, brushing her hair out of her eyes and looking at her. There was just enough light to see from the moon shining through the window.
"Everything's wrong," she said sadly, burying her face in my neck, her breath tickling along my collarbone. I stroked her hair and held her, thinking about all the different ways we could handle this. I kissed her forehead and lifted her chin so I could look her in the eyes.
"Do you trust me?" I asked, and she nodded. I smiled at the answer. Finally we were getting somewhere. "It'll be ok," I said, my lips claiming hers. I nibbled softly on her lower lip before sliding my tongue in to meet hers in a slow tango. She sighed gently, softening to my touches. I pulled back with a reluctant groan. "We'll take it slow," I said and she sighed.
"I'm scared," she whispered.
"Of me?" I asked, confused. She shook her head and smiled.
"Not of you silly," she whispered in my ear, trying to be quiet because of Sam. "Of Dad, of what it will mean, of what it will do to our family."
I frowned. I think Dad needed to just lighten up, god knows we'd given it our all the last few years and tried to stay away from each other. We'd failed, and I was sick of denying how I felt. I wanted to see where this was going, and if it was going no where then we'd face that fact when we got there. But I'd given my life to this hunt, this vendetta of his. The least he could do was let us make a few adult choices of our own, it's not like we were teenagers any more.
"It'll be ok. We're adults, we can do this. You'll always be my sister Beth, if nothing else we will always have that, ok?" She nodded with a smile, and I felt reassured that this time she wasn't going to run away. With her safely tucked up alongside me, I kissed along her shoulder and then whispered in her ear.
"Get some sleep before we have to get up, dawn will be here before we know it." She nodded, nuzzling her way in against me, her nose tucked up into my neck, her soft breathing tickling at first, but then settling into a rhythm that lulled me to sleep alongside her.
When I woke up, I kissed her again, just in case I was about to find out it was all a dream. I looked at the light growing outside and groaned. Pulling away I climbed out of bed, grabbing random clothes from around the room and putting them on. When I was dressed, I looked at her, she was still lying in bed watching me dress with an innocent smile on her face. I couldn't have loved her more in that moment.
"Get dressed," I said. "Or we're going to miss it." She finally looked at the window and startled at how light it was outside. She was gone in an instant, padding up the stairs to Cole's bedroom in the converted attic. Two minutes later she was back, pulling on my old hoodie, and taking my hand as we snuck down the stairs toward the front door.
Stopping quickly at the kitchen, we grabbed the pie I'd gotten us out of the fridge, foregoing the hot cocoa for now, we'd have to make that when we came back – there wasn't enough time. I led us down toward the river at the bottom of Bobby's property, weaving us through the car yard. We didn't run into anyone, which was a relief, and settled on the bank of the river, pie in hand, watching as the sky turned a bring pink around us, and then reds and purples shot through the clouds like a giant watercolour painting. Beth sighed and leaned into me as I put my arm around her shoulders.
We tucked into the pie, munching away as the sun climbed higher in the sky. Pretty soon we'd have to return to the house, and there were birthday celebrations in play, Cole had planned a trip to a local bar where there would be drinking and dancing – Beth's request. I was secretly looking forward to it, it had been a while since we'd been able to let our hair down and have a good time. It was going to be fun.
"Happy birthday baby," I said to her, turning to kiss her again. When we broke away she smiled.
"Best birthday ever," she said softly, leaning her head against my shoulder again. I only hoped the rest of the day lived up to the morning, things were already looking up from where I sat.
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Song is You Were Born – by Cloud Cult
Wow, I really wanted to have Folsom Prison Blues out sooner, but it's been a busy week. I hope you enjoy this little peek into Dean taking over Beth's birthday tradition from her Dad & Mum. I think it gives us a nice little insight into the softer side of Dean that you don't get to see very often :) I've been wanting to write this for a while so I'm glad to finally have it out.
Remember if you're not sure who Cole is (she makes a little guest appearance here) check out EarthhAngel's story "How To Save A Life" also here on FanFiction. We've been collaborating on it and it has some great insights into Dean & Beth from a third party POV when they were just getting together. Plus – there's JOHN! Need I say more? P.S. EA says sorry to all the readers, she had to reschedule her exam so the update has been a little slow coming! (I assure you she's got one that will be out very soon, so hang in there!)
Hi to all the new followers and reviewers – GREAT to have you here, hope you're enjoying the story as much as I enjoy writing it. I am completely obsessed with it and hoping to get the updates happening a little more frequently again with some short one-shots in between the bigger chapters. Please review, I love feedback!
Always looking for people who can make videos – would love to get some made up for Dean and Beth (and John and Cole) and so on. It's not my forte and I don't have time to teach myself right now, so hoping someone out there has a passion for it and also enjoys the story enough to put your hand up and volunteer to make a video or two? :D
Likewise, if you have any thoughts or ideas for one-shot short pieces, please tell me, I love inspiration!