Author's Note: This is a crossover to EarthhAngel's How To Save A Life story taken from Beth's POV. So there's some new stuff as we get to see what really happened when Cole wasn't around, and also Beth's POV of combined scenes together :) It is taken right around the time Dean & Beth decide that it's time to break the rules and get involved.

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb
Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home

Wake me up inside
Wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark
Bid my blood to run
Before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I've become

Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life

BRING ME TO LIFE – PART 1

(Approximately 4.5 years ago)
Right before Dean & Beth get together

Worthington,
Minnesota

I was sprinting through a mass of graves, in a cemetery, at night. Three of my least favourite things. At least there was a full moon out which was lighting my way, of course, that was half the problem too. Full moons: generally only mean one thing when it comes to the supernatural. Werewolves.

I'd heard the howl a good thirty yards or more ahead of me, and I was running as fast as I could to get there. We'd all split it, to canvass the area where this werewolf had been attacking people for the last few nights. We were nearing the end of the moon cycle, and if we didn't catch it soon, it would disappear for another month and we'd have to come back and start all over again. That's if it was even still around by then.

I rounded the edge of the cemetery, there was a park next door, and I vaulted over the waist-high fence, landing on my feet to keep on running. I could see John approaching through the trees to my right, and I veered off to join him. Ahead of us there was a scuffle going on. The werewolf was in half-wolf, half-human form, which made it stronger and tougher than a regular human, long claws extended from its fingers, and big snarling teeth were bared.

Dean was now gripping those teeth with his hands, trying to stop the creature from biting him. I almost panicked when I saw the creature rear back and swing out with a claw, slashing him in the face. Dean cried out and fell back. The werewolf moved to take a bite out of him but it was short-lived. John came running into the space, gun drawn and fired into it's back four times.

Silver bullets are a bitch to werewolves, they work every time. I watched as the werewolf fell on top of Dean, dead. This victory was short-lived, just as we stopped and I moved toward Dean to help him get up, a blur of a figure came shooting out of the shadows. It hit John head on, smashing him into a large oak tree, he fell to the ground with a grunt, dropping his gun. Sam had appeared and tackled the half-wolf figure to the ground, pulling it off his father.

They rolled a few times until they hit a park bench, and then the wolf picked up Sam and tossed him several feet through the air into a prickly bush. I had a clear shot suddenly and I took it, aiming for the heart and pulling the trigger. I shot the wolf five times, almost emptying my entire gun into it, stopping just in case we found there was a third wolf, never hurt to be cautious – besides, this one had probably been dead after the third bullet, I was just angry.

Dean rolled to his feet with a grunt as I reached him, I pulled him away from the body of the first werewolf and looked him over, stopping to catch my breath as he reached a hand up to dab at his eyes.

"Ahhh, son of a bitch!" He said, blinking as blood pooled in his eye.

"Stop, let me," I said to him, batting his hand away. I pulled a clean cotton handkerchief out of my jacket pocket and held his head gently with one hand, dabbing his eye with the other. There was a gash underneath his right eye, and it was bleeding profusely. I grimaced and held the handkerchief up to it, applying a little bit of pressure.

"Oooh, that's gonna need stitches," I said and Dean groaned.

"Great..." he said. I let him hold the handkerchief while I looked over the body of the werewolves, now in human form, it was a couple and they looked relatively young. Sam was helping John get to his feet: he was clutching his ribs, obviously in a bit of pain from having hit that tree.

"We're gonna need some doctoring," I said, looking over at them both.

John assessed the damages, Dean would need stitches, he clearly was going to have to have those ribs taped, and Sam was gingerly touching his side where he'd pulled a muscle and was covered in various bumps, bruises and scratches, much like myself.

"Well then, guess we're going home for a bit of Cole TLC," John said with a grin. I smirked, nothing like having a nurse living at the place you called sometimes-home.

Sioux Falls,
South Dakota

An hour later I was pulling the Impala up to the house we called a second home, possibly even a first home given that I wasn't really sure motels counted in that capacity. It was after 2am, but that never stopped us. John pulled his truck up next to us and got out, wincing a little at his sore ribs, I pretended not to notice, he didn't like being babied.

I rounded the car to the passenger door and opened it, reaching in to help Dean out. He waved me off with a frustrated sigh.

"Get off me! I'm not an invalid!" He grumped and I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Fine," I said, and he looked at me, I narrowed my eyes at him and shook my head. "Bitch."

"Jerk!" He said, standing up to face me. I tried to keep a straight face, but I couldn't help it, he was such a pain in the ass sometimes, stubborn and proud, but he was a big baby underneath it all when it came to injuries.

I sighed and smiled at him. "Come on Rocky, let's get that eye seen to," I said, chewing on my lip. It had stopped bleeding for the moment, but it looked really sore and like it might start up again at any time. Dean nodded and started walking toward the front porch.

The light came on and I blinked in the sudden brightness. "What in tarnation is going on out here?!" Bobby's voice said somewhat quietly in our direction. I grimaced. He was looking a bit bedraggled in some old sweatpants and a t-shirt, his hair looking like he'd been asleep for the past few hours. Probably because he has been, I thought to myself.

"Hey Bobby," John said, grabbing his duffel bag from the back of his truck. "I'm afraid we're going to have to impose on you for a few days."

Bobby took one look at us all hobbling about and his angry look faded to concern. "What have you guys been picking a fight with now?"

"Werewolves," Sam groaned, walking up the steps and past him into the house. I had a hand on Dean's arm, this time he hadn't shrugged me off, and I watched his balance as he made his way up the steps. I let go as I reached Bobby, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.

"Hey Bobby," I said with a smile.

"Hey baby girl, how are you?" He said with a smile, the gruff exterior disappearing.

"Better than them," I replied, chuckling. He turned and waved me inside, following with John.

Dean and Sam were sitting at the kitchen table, John had wandered off to collect our bags. I went straight to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and a glass before walking into the kitchen. I poured Dean a half glass of whiskey and put it in front of him. He groaned and took a sip, sighing as he looked up at me with his battered eye, it was almost swollen shut, I made a mental note to get an ice pack out of the freezer when it had been cleaned and patched up.

"Thanks," he muttered and I patted him on the shoulder, causing him to flinch, apparently he'd hurt that too.

"Sorry," I said softly, looking over at Bobby.

"Let's get the medical supplies out of the library Beth," Bobby said to me. "Then you can go wake up Cole to deal with that one," he nodded toward Dean. I grinned and followed him.

We raided the cupboard for bandages, gauze, suture, needles, cotton pads, anything and everything we might need to deal with the injuries inside. I grabbed another couple of bottles of alcohol, we'd likely be drinking more as the night wore on, and there was always the sterilizing reason. As we walked back into the kitchen I heard Cole talking to the boys.

"What the Hell happened to you guys?" She asked as we rounded the corner, coming up and dumping the supplies on the table. She smiled at me before turning to open, bending down to look for something as John came into the room. He headed to the fridge too, leaning over her.

"Easy now, don't straighten up yet," he said and pulled the freezer door open, reaching inside for some ice packs. Cole wasn't one for taking orders, and after a few seconds I saw her stand up and turn to face John. I expected to see her trademark raised eyebrow, but it wasn't there, instead she looked a bit startled, especially when John leaned in and said something quietly to her.

He pulled away and went to sit next to Sam. I hovered in the kitchen, not really sure what I should be doing, my mind was on Dean and his eye, which Bobby was scrubbing away at with some alcohol and a cloth.

Dean flinched and tried to pull away. "Ow, dammit Bobby, you're not scrubbing the floors here," he muttered. I rolled my eyes at the big baby and put another glass of whiskey in front of him which he grabbed at and took a big gulp.

"Please, Dean, he's just getting you ready for when I get a hold of you," Cole grinned at him and I almost chuckled except that sometimes these two didn't know when to put the play fighting away. Dean cocked an eyebrow at her, looking her over in her tank top and pyjama pants.

"Really?" He said, "You gonna make me scream louder?" He asked with a lick of his lips. I did smirk then, crossing my arms and waiting for Cole's reply.

I was still smarting a little from the last case we'd worked. We'd been down in Texas a month ago on our own, John had been off doing his own thing. Dean, Sam and I had taken up a case involving a haunted house, which ended up being something else altogether. During that time Dean and I had been at each other's throats, the tension high.

So perhaps I hadn't helped matters accepting a date from a very nice looking, generous and friendly music store owner. I thought about the kiss I'd shared with Ewan and smiled a bit, it had been breath-taking. Dean hadn't been impressed, interrupting the date and more or less dragging me back to the motel. Not before kissing me himself though. That had been confusing and typical for us. Years of this bullshit to-and-fro stuff where inevitably I gave in to my feelings for him, letting him in for a moment, and then I ran: afraid of the consequences.

A month before that we'd been in Ohio where John had stuck us for a few weeks while he went off to help another hunter with a poltergeist case. We'd been bored out of our brains, Dean had hooked up with a girl called Cassie and while I knew we couldn't be together, I was still insanely jealous over the whole thing. I think that had been more why I'd taken that date with Ewan, I had been getting a little payback of my own.

"Honey," Cole said, lifting Dean's chin up to look him over. "By the time I'm done with you, you won't have a voice for at least 24 hours," she said with a grin. Dean swallowed hard, his smile faltering under the gaze of the pretty blonde. He shifted uncomfortably under her touch and fell silent, glancing over at me. Cole smirked at him, looking pleased that she'd seemed to win that round.

"What the hell is wrong with you two idjits?!" Bobby snapped, watching the whole exchange like a hawk. "Don't think that just because you two are grown now I'm gonna allow any shenanigans!" He said and my jaw almost hit the floor. I exchanged a look with Cole and she grinned at me, she knew how I felt about Dean. I decided it was time to busy myself with other things, and went over to John to help him with bandaging up his ribs.

When all the doctoring was over, Cole stretched and looked at the stove, it was 3am; I was finishing up with John's bandages, and Dean now had five stitches in his face, and an ice pack over the eye. Sam and Bobby had been talking about the werewolf that had almost taken a bite out of Dean, and I looked over a few dozen times, trying to ascertain if there was anything else he needed. One hazel eye peeped out at me from where he didn't have an ice pack, and I grimaced at him, that was going to hurt in the morning.

Cole popped a pill in Dean's hand and he nodded at her, downing it with a couple mouthfuls of water. Sam suddenly stretched and let out a big yawn. He winced as he pulled the same muscle in his side that he'd hurt earlier, but he covered the pain up by standing up and heading for the stairs. "I'm tired," he said. "I think I'm going to head upstairs to bed."

"The sheets are clean, and both beds are made up," Cole called out to him and he nodded, waving good night to everyone.

Dean reached out and squeezed Cole's hand in an uncharacteristic show of affection for the pair of them. "Thanks Cole," he muttered, then glanced over at me again before standing up. He moved to follow Sam but the effects of the whiskey and medication must have hit him hard because he stumbled, grabbing at a chair as he lost his balance. I was at his side in an instant, wrapping my arm around his waist as I helped him toward the stairs.

We made it slowly to the second floor. He was leaning on me heavily, his breathing a little hard. When we got into the spare room Sam had already claimed the single bed, and was snoring away – he'd obviously gone out as soon as his head hit the pillow. This left the double free. I helped Dean to the side of the bed, leaning down to pull off his boots, and then undoing his jeans and shucking them to the floor too. He didn't argue, rolling on to his back and under the sheets. I went to leave when his hand shot out and grabbed my wrist.

"Stay?" He said softly and I stared down at him. He was still holding the ice pack against his eye, watching me silently. I chewed on my lip a little and then nodded at him. I could already tell this was going to be one of those nights where the lines got a little blurred between us, but I couldn't help it, sometimes my heart got the better of me.

I slipped back out into the hallway, standing on the landing as Bobby made his way up the stairs.

"Everything ok?" Bobby asked as he reached me. I nodded at him with a smile.

I turned to look down the stairs at John and Cole who were at the kitchen table still. I could see them through the open archway. I bit my lip, trying to come up with a reason to stay in the spare room and not in Cole's room tonight.

"Hey Dad?" I said, and saw John look up at me. "Are you ok to sleep on the couch? I might sleep in with Dean, he's not breathing so well... I want to keep an eye on him," I said. John didn't even hesitate, just nodding his assent. I turned back toward the room while Bobby and Cole started talking about sheets and bedding for the couch.

The room was a kind of a long rectangle, with a corner cut out of it. The single was pushed into the far corner of that smaller end under a window, while the double was at the other end under another window. It was shoved up against the wall; I looked over at Sam from where I stood next to the bed and realised that all I could make out of him was his feet. Other than the moonlight from outside, it was dark in the room.

Dean had rolled over to the far side of the bed and fallen asleep. I slipped out of my own jeans and boots. While I was out of the room Dean had thrown his over-shirt on the floor, leaving him in just a t-shirt and boxers. I rummaged through my duffel, which John had obviously brought up earlier, and found a tank top to change into. I shrugged out of my jeans and top, then lost my bra as well, pulling on the tank top and changing into a pair of pyjama shorts.

I crawled in beside him, trying not to wake him, just staring at that peaceful face on the pillow beside me. I don't know how long we lay like that, maybe an hour, a couple of times I brushed his hair back, and I would check his breathing. I didn't want to sleep, I just wanted to stare at him all night.

All of a sudden Dean stirred next to me, reaching out a hand to brush it along my face. I startled, realising that he wasn't asleep, and I'd just been staring at him for how long? He knew it now too. His hard slipped under my hair, brushing along the back of my neck where he grasped me and pulled my head down to his.

I almost forgot to breathe as his brushed his lips across mine. I hesitated for just a moment before giving in to what I wanted the most: him. I sighed softly, moving to lie beside him, my hand snaking out to slide along his hip. Dean moaned a little and leaned in to me, pushing me back against the mattress so he could deepen the kiss with a neediness that we were both feeling.

His hand ran along the side of me and I gasped at the touch, moaning into the kiss as his tongue met mine, slowly and methodically massaging it, drawing things out. He caressed along the bare skin at my hip, hesitating when he hit my shorts, and I wound my arms up around his neck, arching up to feel him pressed more firmly against me.

I heard his breath catch and his hand moved away from the danger zone, the part that would make this just a little more than a couple of stolen kisses in the heat of the night. We'd never crossed that line in all those years, and I didn't know if we ever would. Hot electric pulses rushed across my skin as Dean brought his hand up over my tank top, trailing his fingers just under my breast. I moaned and Dean silenced it with another kiss.

The sensations that simple touch were stirring in me had me on edge and I started to breathe a little quicker, then I felt the beginning of a slight panic attack. What were we doing?! We couldn't! I pulled back a little and Dean's eyes darkened as they stared at me. I saw something different in them this time, a resolute understanding. Something had changed in him. It caused me to pause, chewing at my lip.

"Sorry," he said to me, brushing his hand across my face.

"For?" I asked, a little breathless.

"Pushing," he said, looking down at me.

"You're not..." I said, "I want to... it's just."

He nodded, looking down at me. "We can't..." I nodded back at him with a sigh.

He bit his lip, and looked down at me. "Pretend it's a dream," he said gently, and leaned in to kiss me again. I groaned, winding my arms around his neck, my hand running up into his hair as he slowed things right down, lingering on the kisses, trailing his tongue along my upper lip and then sucking on it softly. I thought Ewan's kiss had been good, this was phenomenal and I felt tears come to my eyes as I realised this was something I could never hope to own. Little stolen moments like this were all we'd ever get.

A few hours later the sun started to rise. Dean was wound around me, like an octopus, and it felt really good, if it wasn't so wrong. There was a faint sound of something crashing downstairs and I tensed in his arms, he mumbled into my shoulder, kissing it and I looked up.

"What was that?" I asked quietly and Dean frowned, looking over my shoulder at me.

"Huh? What?" He asked, and he shifted, I became very aware that he had a morning visitor who had risen to say hello, it was pressed in against my back.

"There was a noise downstairs," I whispered, trying not to think about the insistent prodding against me.

Dean shrugged and pulled me back into him, "Eh, it was nothing, come here," he mumbled, and started to kiss along my neck. Sam stirred in his sleep and then started moving around. I panicked a little, pulling out of Dean's arms as Sam crawled out of bed, heading for the door. He barely even glanced at us as he passed, we had the blankets pulled up over us, not like he'd have seen much even if he had.

Reality set in for me, and I leaned against the wall looking at Dean's eye – it was a lot better, still a little bruised, red and sore around where the stitches were, but the swelling had gone down overnight.

I climbed over him to the side of the bed and he groaned a protest. But I had to be responsible here. I started grabbing at things that were mine, scattered on the floor from looking through my bag last night. I felt tears coming into my eyes before I'd even thought about what I was about to do, how I was about to run away.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked, rolling over to look at me in frustration.

"Getting my things, I'll bunk in with Cole for the rest of the stay," I said to him, I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

Dean sat up in bed, swinging his legs around to the edge. "So we're not going to talk about what happened last night?" He asked me, and I paused, looking down at my hands before glancing up at him, silent tears running down my face.

"Beth," Dean said, looking sadly at me. "Oh Beth, come on, don't cry," he said to me, moving off the bed and taking a step toward me as if he was going to pull me into his arms. I panicked, stepping back and holding out my hand.

"I can't..." I whispered, and I saw years of frustration and anger cross his face.

"Dammit Beth! Why do you always do this?" He said loudly to me and I watched him bristle, putting his hands on his hips.

"Do what Dean?" I asked, shoving the rest of my things into my bag and lifting it on to the bed to zip it up.

"Push me away! You're hot, you're cold, just make up your damn mind!" He said angrily to me and I flinched at the tone. How had things gone from him understanding everything last night to this?

"You know we can't," I said, but then I realised, he hadn't meant it. The look he was giving me told me that time was up, he was sick of the waiting. I felt my heart skip a beat, but a moment later it crashed down. How could we? What would John say?

"I didn't mean it..." I said softly instead, when what I really wanted to say was Yes. I lowered my head, hair falling in my face, I couldn't look at him like this. He knew I was lying, he had to, but he didn't call me on it.

"Yeah, you never do!" Dean snapped at me and I closed my eyes, fighting back more tears. He grabbed a few things from his bag and then turned on his heel, storming out the door. As he pulled it open, Cole's eyes met mine, startled. She'd been just outside the door and I knew she would have heard some of what we'd been saying.

Cole came into the room as Dean flew past her.

"Hey so how'd you sleep?" Cole asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Fine," I replied, not looking at her. I decided I really needed to take a shower and grabbed my toiletries bag, starting to move toward the bathroom.

"I wouldn't if I were you," Cole said. "Dean just ran over me to get in there."

"Oh," I said, not realising that's where he had been headed.

"Honey what were you two fighting about?" Cole asked gently, reaching out to place a hand on my shoulder. I sank on to the bed with a sigh, the heaviness of my heart taking over.

I didn't know where to start. "I woke up, and Dean was wrapped around me like an octopus." And it felt so good. I thought about what else had been in the mix and it just seemed to make things worse. "...and he was all turned on! And Sam was in the room!" I whispered loudly, groaning and covering my face with my hands.

"An octopus, really? Is that the best you can come up with?" Cole smirked at me, laughing quietly.

"No, you don't understand," I said to her. She really didn't! "We're talking this number," I said with a slight laugh, pulling her on to the bed with me, rolling her over and pinning her to the side, wrapping my arms and legs around her like Dean had done this morning to me. Cole was laughing and suddenly I didn't find it funny anymore. I pulled off her and rolled on to my back.

I looked over at the pretty blonde lying next to me, watching me with cool assessing eyes. She was three years older than me, and we hadn't always hit it off when we first met, but she was a big sister to me now. I told her everything.

"I don't know why I do it to myself Cole," I said quietly. "I budge, just a little, and then our whole world shifts." I sat up, hugging my knees to my chest.

"What the hell happened up here last night?" Cole asked with a goofy smile on her face.

"We made out!" I whispered to her urgently. "For ages!" I couldn't help the smile that came to my face just thinking about it. "He was... wow just..." My voice tailed off, there were no words. "God!" I threw myself back on the bed again, covering my face with my hands. After a moment I rolled on to my side, looking at her seriously. "Dad would kill us." I said quietly.

Cole watched me, thinking. She knew what Dean and I had been through, she knew how hard we fought to stay away from each other because I told her. Every single time something like this happened I was calling her on the phone, confessing my sins like she was a priest who could give me absolution.

"Tell me about the boner," Cole said with a grin, obviously trying to change the subject because she didn't know what to say about John.

I groaned, and looked toward the door which she had closed behind her. "That thing should be considered a weapon," I said with a raised eyebrow. It wasn't the first time I'd woken up with Dean wrapped around me and a morning erection, but I was certainly starting to pay more attention when they did happen.

"Well in some instances they do consider it a weapon," she said quietly and I cringed. Cole had shared with me her deepest, darkest secret a few months back. She'd been at a party when her boyfriend at the time had raped her, two other guys joining in. She's been shattered ever since – I think it was made even worse because we were trained to fight, John and Bobby had been teaching us to be warriors, and she had been unable to get them off her, to stop it from happening.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." to imply that this was always a laughing matter.

Cole brushed it off. "Don't worry about it," she said dismissively. I decided to change the subject.

"Enough of this boring talk," I said, feeling my stomach start to churn from hunger. "Let's go get some breakfast!" I smacked her on the leg and rolled off the bed, feeling better already with the idea of getting some food into me.

We were moving down the hallway toward the stairs when Cole brought up Dean again. "So what did it feel like?" She asked with a giggle. I looked over at her, stopping in the middle of the hall, considering.

"It felt almost like someone had a .45 Smith and Wesson shoved in the small of my back," I said to her and she snorted before starting to laugh. Well it did! I'd now had both in my back, I wasn't sure which was better to be honest. "And it's not the first time it's happened!" I reminded her with a grin, referring to the time we'd been in Philadelphia with Jefferson, hunting a homicidal spirit, and I'd woken up in a similar position with Dean.

"At least you know he's big," she said with a wink, and I rolled my eyes, starting toward the stairs again. The bathroom door flung open as we reached it and Dean came out wearing nothing but a pair of jeans. There were still beads of water clinging to his bare chest and I felt my breath catch. He was still fuming, and I looked away to avoid further confrontation with him, he would need some time to simmer down, but he'd get over it – we always did.

Cole was giving him an appreciative stare as he pushed past us with a sigh, heading toward the bedroom.

"Damn girl, you are gonna be so lucky one day," she breathed to me, watching him go. I looked at her sadly, and shook my head. She had more faith in Dean and me working out than I ever would.

Sam came down the hallway from the other direction, and ran into Dean as they both reached the doorway to the spare room. Dean shoved him angrily and Sam looked surprised, then shoved him back.

"Don't push me today Sammy!" Dean snapped, and I flinched, this was all my fault.

I heard the pair of them wrestling in the bedroom and fought the desire to run in after them and break it up. "Shove off Dean!" Sam yelled at him. "You are such an ass lately!" I frowned, he was right, Dean had been on edge, and it had all started to escalate these last few months.

Cole and I had reached the landing and were heading down the stairs when the boys came barreling out of the bedroom, pushing past us. I sighed and started to follow them, Cole lingering on the landing a little longer. I was starving and couldn't wait to get some eggs scrambled up in the pan. I hoped Cole had stocked up.

I had almost caught Dean on the way to the kitchen when he stopped short and I ran into him, not concentrating. Dean ignored me, staring in at the kitchen. It looked like a tornado had hit. Sam walked around the edge of the dining table, it now lay in pieces on the floor, and stared at a massive crack and dent in the wall. I realised I was looking at the source of the noise I'd heard earlier.

Bobby saw us and whirled around from where he was standing. "What the Hell did you two do to my kitchen you morons?!" He yelled, looking from Sam to Dean. The boys looked shocked at the accusation.

"Uh, Bobby, we seriously have no idea what you're talking about," Dean said, frowning.

Bobby snorted and shook his head, giving them a disbelieving look. "The last time anything in this house was broken, it was because the two of you were fighting." He gestured to the wall where Sam was standing. "Now I have a massive crater in my wall, and I have to go see if I can't rustle up a new table."

"Man, look the last thing I remember is Cole giving me that pain pill, and stitching up my face. Then Beth and I made it up the stairs to bed..." he paused, turning slightly to look at me, I wandered away to stand by the fridge, crossing my arms.

"I was out like a light," he lied, looking over at John who was making his way into the kitchen. "Although I do remember at some point you stole the covers, then kicked them off the bed," he said, turning back to me with a smirk. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh give me a break Dean, everyone here knows you're the cover hog!" I muttered angrily. What the hell was he getting at, cover stealing? Dean was still staring at me, conflicted, he was provoking me, but he didn't want to – what was his game?

John pushed his way through the bottleneck of people in the archway to the kitchen, heading for the coffee pot. "Actually Bobby, it's my fault," he confessed and I gaped at him. Say what? He poured himself a cup of coffee and turned to take a sip, looking at Bobby. "Cole and I were talking about fighting techniques. I opened my mouth and dared her to do something that my already sore ribs are so regretting now." He was staring at Cole, and I turned to look at her inquisitively. What on earth had they been doing down here that would end in a broken table?

"And she proved me wrong, came up fighting like a damn tiger, fighting for her own survival. I'll replace your table and fix the wall." He finished with a grin.

Bobby looked elated, and I swear he almost clapped his hands, beaming over at Cole who shifted a little uncomfortably under the look. "Of course, she came up all teeth and claws. She was raised right, a warrior. At least I'll never have to worry about some asshole hurting my little girl, Hell I'd bet she could fend off a dozen of Sam and Dean single handedly." He rambled and Cole started to look even more uncomfortable. I chewed on my lip, wondering how she was going to take that praise.

"We all have our moments of weakness," I said, and I wasn't sure whether I was saying it for Cole's benefit or my own, trying to reassure myself that it was ok to reject Dean, yet again. Cole rolled her eyes at me and bristled under the comment.

"Yeah, well it hasn't happened to me yet, so when it finally does I'll be sure to let you know," she said, turning to leave the kitchen. I looked at her, a little surprised, and she paused briefly beside me to whisper. "Thanks for the support. Love you." I shook my head a little, what was this...opposites day?

"I'm gonna go get in a work out. See you guys later," Cole said and she left the house.

I turned to look at Dean and he was back to being impassive, cold eyes turned toward me. I moved to go inspect the stitches under his eye and he brushed my hand away.

"I'm fine," he said, but his eyes said he was anything but fine. Sam frowned over at us and shook his head.

"Fine," I snapped at him, pushing past the broken table into the library and slouching on to the couch that John had apparently slept in last night. The sheets and pillow looked untouched. I raised my eyebrow at that, just what had gone on down here last night?

Sam and Dean were helping Bobby take the broken parts of the table outside, Bobby was muttering something about how it was really only good for firewood now, and even that he wasn't sure about. I decided I had to get out of the house, my hunger forgotten, and a run sounded good. I pulled on my tennis shoes, which I'd left by the door last time I was here, and headed out into the morning air.

I had a running track around the junkyard, among the different rows of beat up old cars and other assorted machines, I didn't even make it ten yards down when Bobby called out to me.

"Bethie! Can you tell Cole I want my table sorted out before dinner!" I stopped and waved at him to let him know I'd heard him, and I set a course through the junkyard which would weave me toward the gym at the back of the property.

A garage had been converted into the gym and sparring area a long time ago. One of the walls we'd taken out to give it some air flow and breathing space. It faced East out over the hills and the rest of the yard. I heard a crash as I neared the gym, and I hurried to get a look at what was going on. Cole had taken a crowbar and was smashing at a bench. The sounds echoed across the yard toward me. I moved toward her, but then a shadow came from the doorway on the other side and it gave me pause.

I watched in surprise as John grabbed at her, blocking a punch, and pulled her around to face him. I couldn't hear what they were saying, and I didn't want to interrupt, so I stayed where I was. Suddenly Cole started hitting John in a rage, and he didn't even fight back, I startled and moved toward them, surprised they hadn't seen me actually, but they were clearly thinking about other things.

This became more apparent when suddenly John pushed her up against a wall, his lips claiming hers and I stared, shocked. How could he? I had sensed something going on with the pair of them, but I had no idea it was like this. Just what had been going on last night? Why hadn't his bed been slept in? How long had this been going on?! I thought back to Dean and how hard we had fought our feelings for each other and I saw red, I couldn't believe John would betray his own rules like that. And with Cole! Christ, she's practically his daughter!

I ducked back behind a row of cars and made my way around to the door John had come in. I hesitated, this was Cole, did I interrupt and let them get caught? Did I shout a warning? Did I confront them? I decided to go with the least invasive, I needed time to think, to get Cole's side of the story, to consider how I felt about all this.

"Hey Cole?!" I called out, waiting for them to get a grip before I walked in the door. "What the heck are you doing out here? Your dad's bitching about his table. He wants us to go shopping pronto!" I figured I'd given them enough time, and I rounded the corner, stepping through the door. John pulled hastily away from Cole when I entered and she held out her hand expectantly to John.

"What?" He asked, smirking at her and raising an eyebrow.

"Uh, I do believe you offered to replace the table, that means cough up the dough sugar daddy," Cole said with a smirk, throwing me a cheeky grin. I raised my eyebrow and crossed my arms with a grin of my own. This should be interesting.

John reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He looked at Cole with a bit of a chuckle when handing over his credit card. "Try to keep it under a thousand this time," he said, looking over at me. "I mean it girls, the last time the two of you got ahold of my card you maxed it out on a shopping spree." I rolled my eyes. That was like three years ago!

"Sorry Dad, but we're not the boys, we need more than a couple of pairs of jeans and a plaid shirt to get by in the world," I said, but I threw him an apologetic smile just the same. Truth be told, I probably needed to restock Dean and Sam's wardrobe a little, I tended to steal all their good hoodies and t-shirts, even though they were way too big for me.

John shook his head at me and smiled. I knew he wasn't really mad, he just liked to grump. Not like he paid the bills of the cards or anything. But like he often reminded me, credit card fraud wasn't easy.

"Yeah with all those crazy undercover outfits, panty lines are a real problem," Cole said, giving John a salacious look. He swallowed and then shook his head. I had a moment to realise that oh my god Cole was flirting with him before my jaw hit the ground.

"Whatever, you two just get outta here," John said with a wave of his hand. "Oh and take the boys with you."

Cole grabbed my arm and steered me back toward the house, giggling away like a teenaged school girl. I looked over at her, she seemed different, happy, and it kind of made me re-evaluate just how angry I was also feeling toward John. "Just let me grab a quick shower, and change into some jeans and a shirt; then we'll get Sam and Dean and go. Maybe we could stop for lunch?" Cole said, looking over at me. I nodded my agreement and she ran up the stairs toward the bathroom as we entered the house.

Dean and Sam were in the library. I was doing some serious thinking now; What on earth did all this mean? And just how far did I want to take it? Dean was gonna freak when I told him. I paused in the doorway to the library at that thought. Crap, what was I going to tell Dean? Should I? Shouldn't I? He looked up at me when I entered and threw me a smile, I sighed, relieved he no longer seemed angry with me. These fights of ours never lasted very long, but they seemed like forever when they were happening.

"Hey Beth," Sam said to me, glancing up from a book he was reading.

"Hey Sammy," I said, "what are you reading?" I crossed over to pat him on the shoulder, looking at the book.

"Uhh, I dunno, something on trans-Planckian physics … or whatever..." he muttered, concentrating.

"Trans-what?" I asked, frowning. Sam looked up at me.

"Black holes," he clarified and I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Well why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Dean asked, scowling from his place on the couch where he was flipping through an anime comic book.

"Well because it's not just black holes it relates to … it's...a framework of..." his voice trailed off when he saw Dean wasn't paying attention and he shook his head.

"Hey did you see any mail for me lying around?" He asked me randomly, changing the subject and I shook my head.

"Nope, you expecting something?" I asked. He looked up at me.

"Yeah, maybe..." he muttered, standing up.

"What?" I asked.

"Huh?" Sam said, glancing at me.

"What are you expecting in the mail?" I asked again, turning to look at him appraisingly.

Sam shifted uncomfortably, shrugging his shoulders a little. He glanced over at Dean and then started to move for the door.

"Nothing important," he said, "I've gotta go use the bathroom..."

"Cole's in there!" I called out to him, but he was already half way up the stairs. I shook my head at him and then turned my attention to Dean, who was still wrapped up in his comic. I wandered over and stared at him. He deliberately ignored me even though I was standing right over him.

With a chuckle I decided that he wasn't angry at me because he hadn't done a sigh in my direction the whole time I'd been in the room. I decided to test the waters, see just how over this morning's fight he was. I scooted around to the front of the couch and plunked myself square in his lap, eliciting a pained groan out of him as I landed.

"Hey," I said to him, raising my eyebrow in his direction.

"Hey yourself," he said; he tried the stern look but gave up when he realised that I wasn't falling for the angry act.

"How's the eye?" I asked, chewing on my lip as I assessed his stitches. The swelling had really gone down; you could just see the stitches now, and a yellow bruise around his eye, a little bit of purple where the stitching was.

"It's ok," he said with a shrug, putting the comic aside.

"How's the uh..." he looked me over, then shrugged. "What exactly did you hurt last night?" He asked, grinning at me.

"Shut up!" I said with a giggle, shoving him playfully. "Just because I can manage to keep out of the way of werewolves doesn't mean I wasn't there pulling my own weight."

"Oh yeah?" He chuckled, shaking his head. "How come I'm always the one getting the stitches then?"

I shrugged with an amused look at him. I reached out and gingerly touched the skin around his stitches, he held still as I did so, barely even breathing. "Maybe it's because you will insist on being the hero..." I said softly, leaning in to get a closer look. I realised my face was just inches from his; memories of last night came flooding back and I felt myself blush a little, pulling back.

"Only when there's damsels in distress," he said, licking his lips as he looked at me.

"You calling me a damsel?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Nope," he said, looking up as Sam came almost sprinting down the stairs looking all flushed. "I'm calling Sammy one!" He said with a chuckle and nodded as John started walking down the stairs.

I climbed out of Dean's lap and then pulled him up to stand beside me. Cole came skipping down the stairs a moment later, freshly cleaned from her shower, new pair of jeans and a top on. She looked refreshed and happy, but I was looking for it. The looks, the little stolen moments like Dean and I often had; now I was looking for them, I noticed them everywhere!

I saw the way John glanced at Cole's lower back and ass as she leaned over to tie her shoes. I saw the way she looked up at him with a lazy grin, then winked at him. I saw how they would find excuses to be in the same section of the room with each other, to brush against each other, to talk to each other. In fact, it was like every single moment – how the hell wasn't Dean noticing any of this? Or Bobby? Or hell, even Sam who usually noticed everything?!

With a glance at Dean I noticed he was too busy making his own excuse to hang around me, talking about knives with Bobby, and then sliding a knife sheath over my left arm, fitting it against my bare skin. I watched his hands as they worked, and tried not to think about the caresses they had made to my body last night. I shivered, and swallowed hard, and he glanced up with me, his eyes darkening.

"That ok?" He asked, and showed Bobby. Bobby nodded his approval and slid a knife into the sheath.

"Perfect fit," he said to me, and I grinned. Awesome!

"Cool, do I get to keep it?" I asked with a curious look.

"Sure do baby girl, it's all yours," he said, ruffling my hair. I smiled and gave him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks Bobby," I said, pulling back and admiring the knife now attached to my arm.

"What about me?" Dean asked with a pout.

"What about you?" I asked.

"Well I put it on you," he said and Bobby laughed, shaking his head.

"You pair..." he said with a chuckle, moving away. "Bloody idjits..."

John and Cole were looking over at us, and I shrugged. I stepped up to Dean and kissed his cheek in a playful, over-the-top manner. "Thank you Dean!" I said with a grin and Cole laughed. Now that I thought about it, how on earth didn't John know there was something going on here either? Or sort of going on. I don't know what was happening with us. Things had escalated to full on breaking point in the last few months, and it was like a geyser ready to go off. Then again, John hadn't been around much in the last few months. I looked over at him and Cole, and I started to piece it together: maybe there was a reason for that.

"We going shopping then?" I asked, and Cole nodded, waving the credit card around in the air.

"Don't forget what I said!" John said to us, shaking his head.

"Yeah, yeah, keep it under $10,000," Cole said, skipping out the door.

"I said a thousand!" John yelled, looking at me. "I said a thousand!" He repeated. I leaned up and kissed his stubbly cheek.

"I know Dad, don't worry." I said and he turned a smile to me.

"Have a good time," he said, nodding at Dean as he stood by the door waiting for me.

Furniture Store
Sioux Falls

I was standing by a six-seater dining table, my chin resting in the palm of my hand. Dean was mimicking my pose, standing right next to me, shoulder to shoulder.

"Well it's gotta be stronger than what he had, but you know... we should make sure," Dean said turning a raised eyebrow to me. I grinned at him and then I started to wonder about how it was that the table in Bobby's kitchen had sudden ended up as next week's fire wood.

"What exactly were you and Dad doing on the table last night?" I hinted at Cole, narrowing my eyes and hoping to get a little guilty look from her. Cole didn't bat an eyelid, just turning innocent eyes to us.

"Yeah Cole," Dean said, grinning at her. "Give us a demo, I want to see the move that brought the unstoppable John Winchester to the floor." I shook my head at him, always out to best John in some way.

"Keep dreaming Dean, you're gonna have to work harder than that to get me on top of you," Cole smirked at him and I raised an eyebrow. Dean gulped at the thought, and then glanced sideways at me. I was staring at Cole, wondering if maybe I should go tit for tat on this little entendre, but I was distracted by Dean talking.

"Is that right?" He said to Cole, turning to look at me. "What about you?"

"You looking to get your ass kicked?" I asked him, throwing him a bit of a hard look.

"Cherry-pie if you can put me through that table, then, and only then, would I consider that an ass-kicking," Dean said with a smirk, and I narrowed my eyes at him. If there was one thing that got me going it was his bloody obnoxious attitude that he could best anyone, especially me. It always got me, and he knew it, he still did it though, which kind of pissed me off more.

I stormed off to look at other pieces of furniture, leaving Dean staring, speechless.

"What did I say?" I heard Dean ask, but I didn't answer, waving my hand in a dismissive gesture.

I turned just in time to see Cole hit him upside the head and I chuckled. He totally deserved that. My eyes were drawn to a young sales girl who had kind of been eyeing off Dean, she'd moved over toward the table when I stormed off and I watched out of the corner of my eye as Dean climbed up on the table we'd been looking at.

Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing was playing over the PA system and I watched as Dean did a bit of strip tease, taking off his button down shirt and swinging it over his head like a lasso.

I started moving back toward him, aware that we were starting to draw a bit too much attention. John would kill us for being so stupid. Dean was starting to belt out the lyrics to the song.

"Baaaaaby! I need sexual..." I looked up at him, he was enjoying himself.

"Dean! Get down from there!" I said urgently, looking around at the people now staring in our direction.

Dean smirked and slid to his knees along the table, coming to a stop in front of me. "Make me," he said with a challenge in his voice, and he turned to the sales girl standing nearby, pulling her up on to the table with him. The girl looked delighted at the attention that he was suddenly showering on her, and my green-eyed dragon was not impressed.

"Hey, I'm Dean," he said to the girl with a husky voice and I sighed.

"I'm... I'm Stacey," replied the girl and Dean spun her around into his arms, starting to dance with her.

"Baby, I got sick this morning, a sea was storming inside of me..." he sung, glancing down at me. I thought about our own morning and wondered at the song, and why he was suddenly doing karaoke – Dean style. "Baby, I think I'm capsizing, the waves are rising and rising..." Stacey was blushing and giggling at his singing and the way he was handling her, but it was my eyes he was looking at. I stared at him, almost glaring as I contemplated my next move.

Stacey removed herself from the equation, helping with the planning of the next move. She saw the manager start making his way over to us and slid from Dean's arms, getting off the table. It wasn't such an easy choice for Dean who shrugged and continued to swing his hips around like he belonged in a Madonna video clip.

My lips twitched in an amused look as I grabbed him by the waistband of his jeans. He froze, looking down at me and I saw him hesitate, just for a second. Next I felt his strong arms circle me as he grabbed my hips, pulling me up on the table with him. I wasn't going to be outdone by that. I'd pulled out a couple of dollar bills before going up to him and now I produced them in the air, and then tucked them into his waistband with a grin. I really had to resist the urge to kiss him at that moment, thankfully Cole and Sam's amused laughter and cheers brought me back into myself.

"Woo!" Cole called out. "Take it all off baby!"

Dean grinned and started to pull at my shirt. "Ladies first," he breathed with a cheeky grin. I smirked, still holding on to his waistband.

"Make me," I challenged him in the same words he'd used on me. Dean's smiled faltered and I felt his hands circle my waist, brushing along the bare skin at my lower back. I sucked in a quick breath of air, wondering what I'd just gotten myself into, I had to break this moment or else god knows where it was going to end. The manager was walking quickly toward us, I saw him out of the corner of my eye.

Dean's hand had started to slip toward a button at the front of my shirt when I swept my leg around the back of his. I tripped him, both of us crashing to the surface of the table, I landed with a grunt on top of him. My face was just inches from his as I looked down, pinning him to the table.

"Beth!" Sam's voice cried out, startled, but I ignored him.

"Excuse me," the manager said, reaching us. I looked up, but kept myself still pinned along Dean's body. "I'm going to have to ask you to get down off the table, please."

"Yeah, yeah Kemosabe... hold you horses," Dean said, I looked back and he was still staring at me with a twinkle in his eyes. I tilted my head to the side and smiled at him.

"Pass your test?" I asked and Dean licked his lips, stroking his fingers along the bare skin at my side, sending a shiver all down my body.

"Yeah... yeah I think it might have," he said huskily with a grin.

Cole saved us, thank God, stepping in with John's credit card and waving it in the air. "Hey, nice strong table, we'll take it!" She said to the manager. His eyes narrowed at her and she threw him a cheeky smile. "Don't suppose you'll throw in free delivery and a set of steak knives?" She asked.

Clothes Store
Sioux Falls

Cole had convinced me to go birthday shopping, after all we would need something to wear to the big birthday bash she had planned for me tomorrow. I hadn't even given it any thought whatsoever, but Cole being Cole, had been planning it for some time.

"You're turning twenty-one Beth! These things don't happen every year you know! We have to go celebrate!" She said, skipping ahead of us into the store. The boys followed us, shaking their heads. "We still have like four hundred dollars until we hit the thousand mark John set, we might as well make the most of it!"

I raised my eyebrow – four hundred dollars wasn't going to get very far with all of us shopping, but then, I was also sure Cole didn't have a problem going over-budget either. I smirked, looking at her as she started flipping through a display rack of clothing. She did have an inside edge.

Sam shrugged and headed toward the men's section of the store, not too worried about this impromptu shopping spree. "I could use a couple new hoodies," he muttered, throwing me a smile. I'd kind of stolen his latest one, the colour was a great chocolate brown that looked great with my eyes, he should have known better.

Dean on the other hand was standing around looking at me. "Serious?" He asked, looking me over. "We're clothes shopping for a birthday bash that Dad hasn't even said 'yes' to yet?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"He'll say yes!" Cole called out, hearing the comment from her post at the sales rack.

Dean snorted and looked me over. "Come on, since when don't you want to expand the clothing department?" I asked, walking over to him and tugging at his hand. He let me pull him over to the men's section where I started to going through some shirts. He could use a couple of nice shirts. I'd love to see him in a nice shirt...I stopped that train of thought. What the hell was I thinking? I looked over at him and he was staring at me.

I held up a beautiful navy blue shirt to him and smiled. "Nice, brings out the colour of your eyes," I said, passing it to him. Not to mention it would cling to all the right curves on that torso. I shook my head again, this really wasn't helping me with my resolve. I grabbed a few more t-shirts and a pair of jeans. Mentally adding clothes to him instead of taking them off. As I handed them all to him I realised that he really hadn't moved much.

"Why don't you go try some of these on..." I said, stopping at the look in his eyes. He was battling with some inner demon, that much was clear.

"Beth," he said, stepping closer. I stepped back a little, tilting my head to the side.

He sighed and looked around the shop. "Come on, really?" He asked and I frowned at him. I really wanted to give in to him, to stop pushing him away, but I couldn't yet, I didn't know what it would mean, how it would be taken. I wanted to talk to Cole some more and see what she thought.

I bit my lip. "Dean, you know …"

"...we can't," he said with a frustrated sigh. "Yeah, yeah. I heard it the first thousand times," he said. He pushed past me, dumping the clothes I'd handed him on a bench, heading for the door. I sighed, looking down at my hands.

"Beth!" Cole called out. "Where the hell is he going?"

I shrugged at her. She threw me a sympathetic look and then grinned. "Grab a couple of things for him and get over here, I need your opinion on something!" I took her advice, picking up the blue shirt, and a couple of t-shirts from the discarded pile, and heading over to her.

"OK," I said, pushing the whole exchange with Dean out of my mind. "What's up?"

"This?" Cole asked, holding up a cream sleeveless top with lace covering the bodice and straps. "Or this?" The second was a beautiful gold coloured spaghetti strapped top with a satin neckline, and low back. It just sparkled without being over the top and would bring out her hair highlights perfectly. I pointed at the gold top, it was a hands-down winner.

"Definitely that one," I said with a smile. She looked pleased and nodded.

"Lots of bare skin with it too," I commented slyly looking at her. She paused and grinned at me with a nod.

"Not that it matters," she said.

"Why do you say that?" I asked, starting to flip through a few items of clothing myself.

"Well, who have I got to wear it for?" She asked, and I narrowed my eyes at her. Really? She was going to hide this from me? After all the times I'd confessed my stuff about Dean?

"I'm sure Sam would appreciate it," I grinned at her, trying to rile her up. She scoffed and shook her head.

"Sam is like five years younger than me!" She said. I raised my eyebrow at her in amusement.

"Someone older then, but you can't have Dean," I said with a grin, crossing my arms and looking at her. Technically Dean was a few months younger than her. "Kind of only leaves Dad," I said with a smirk.

She paused, looking over at me, assessing. I busied myself flipping through some tops. I'd given her the perfect in, but she didn't take it, instead she moved over to the next rack of clothes and exclaimed happily.

"Oh Beth, I have your outfit!" She said, spinning around and brandishing it before me.

I looked at it, and was instantly in love. It was a black sports bra with a three-quarter length sleeved over top, completely made from black lace. It was stunning. I sighed, and looked at Cole.

"Put it back, there is no way in hell Dad's gonna let me leave the house wearing that, regardless of how old I am," I said with a shake of my head.

Cole scoffed again, and tossed it at me. "You leave him to me, this is perfect. We're getting it." She said with a grin. "Dean is gonna freak when he sees you in this!"

I paused again, looking over at her. "Are you trying to get us killed?" I asked her, biting my lip. Cole looked at me sympathetically.

"Come on," she said. "Don't you think it's time you both got past the John rule?" She asked and I thought about it. I was looking at one reason why I wanted to just throw the John rule out the window, but I still wasn't sure. He was my dad. I had been with them for a long time now, six years, and the rules were the rules.

"At least buy it, we can decide later whether you're going to risk beheading or not over a simple bloody lace top!" She said, and I nodded. Sam walked up to us and whistled at the shirt Cole was still holding up.

"Daring!" He said with a smirk, he looked over at Cole. "You going to be wearing that?" He asked, sizing her up.

"Nope, Beth is," she said with a grin. Sam turned an amused eye to me.

"Really?" He asked with a grin. "Dad gonna let you out in that you reckon?" He asked. I shrugged.

"He is when I'm through with him," Cole said confidently and I shook my head.

Sam looked at the top again and then back at me, as if trying to decide what I'd look like in it, I'd never really worn things that … revealing... around them before, other than tank tops.

He shook his head and held up his clothes. "I shouldn't be saying this," he commented. "But you should get it. It'd look awesome. And I'm so going to hell just for saying that," he said with a grin.

I laughed and gave him a friendly hug, pulling him with us toward the check out. "Thanks Sammy, maybe it's time I gave Dad a reason to have heart palpitations, rather than the imagined crap he comes up with half the time." He laughed and nodded.

When everything was totalled up we were fifty-six dollars over budget. Cole looked pleased with herself. "Not bad," she said. "Bet he doesn't even notice!"

Dean was sitting in the Impala waiting for us when we came out. I took the passenger seat next to him and he glanced over at me, a slightly apologetic look on his face. "Get something for tomorrow?" He asked and I nodded.

"Oh yeah, you're gonna love it!" Cole said, leaning forward with a grin. "Sexy, sexy."

"And why would I love something sexy on my sister? You trying to send me to Hell?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. I smirked. Looked like Cole wasn't the only one playing it cool. Cole rolled her eyes at him and sat back without saying anything further.

Bobby's House
Sioux Falls

Usually Bobby cooked, and he was a great cook, but tonight pizza was on the menu at the Singer household. We were all seated around the new table, which had been delivered on schedule during the afternoon. I was munching on a piece of meat lovers and trying not to moan out loud at how good it tasted. My favourite part was the stuffed crust, and I always left it until last. I was just about to take a bite into that soft, cheesy goodness when Dean reached across and snaked it out of my hand, shoving half of it into his mouth in one smooth motion.

"Hey! Pizza thief! Get your own!" I said annoyed, grabbing the other half back from him and waving it at him.

"Mmmm, mmmm!" Dean said, chewing loudly. His cheeks were all puffed up like a hamster and I rolled my eyes at him. Some things would never change.

"So we were a little over-budget," Cole was explaining to John, who was watching her with an amused expression. "But only by fifty-six bucks," she said, looking at him.

"You expect me to believe this table cost a thousand and fifty-six bucks?" He asked, taking a bite of his own pizza.

"Well there was the cost of delivery," she smirked at him, and took a drink of coke.

"Delivery?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh-huh, and you know... a finders fee..." she said, grinning cheekily at him.

"Finders fee?" John said, this time sitting back in his chair and looking at me.

I shrugged, focusing on my stuffed crust, trying to disappear where I wouldn't have to be involved in this conversation.

John chuckled and seemed to dismiss the excuses. "Well it's a good thing I didn't tell you about the thirty thousand dollar limit on that card," he said with a grin. Cole looked floored.

"Damn!" She said, looking at me. "Could have got those shoes after all!" John laughed heartily at that and turned to Bobby.

"Looks like you get to cover the shoe shopping," he said and Bobby grunted, shaking his head.

"Nothing new there," he said with a bit of a chuckle, taking a sip of his whiskey and coke.

Everyone fell silent for a little while, just enjoying the food. Sam looked up after a while, and turned to Bobby.

"Uh, Bobby, there uh hasn't been any mail coming here for me has there?" He asked, and I frowned, curious as to what this mail thing was all about.

"Now that you mention it, you did get a big official looking packet." Bobby said, looking over at Sam. "From Stanford."

Sam looked stunned and the room fell silent for a moment. So that's what this was all about. I knew it was coming, he'd told me he'd applied and was considering college, I just didn't think he'd maybe actually go, not really. I'd been in a bit of denial about that.

"Why would you be getting a package from Stanford?" John asked quietly, looking at his son.

"Because I applied to their pre-law program," Sam said, looking back at him. Dean almost choked on the pizza he was chewing on, shocked. I simply lowered my head, I wasn't admitting to knowing anything about this.

"And what about hunting? Are you just going to walk away from us?" John asked angrily. "Your family needs you Sam," he said, his eyes looking dark and furious.

"Hey John, hunting doesn't necessarily have to be the only game in town," Bobby said, jumping to Sam's defense. "Look at Cole and how well she's handled hunting and going to school. It was probably one of the best things that's happened to her."

John's face darkened and he glanced over at Cole, who shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She looked up at him and whatever he saw there seemed to temper his mood.

"We'll talk about this later," John said with a sigh.

Suddenly Cole cleared her throat and grinned. "So, ahem, apparently Dean has decided he would like a career change too," she said cheekily. I stared at her, and Dean's mouth dropped open. "Although, his career change will require much less schooling," she said.

"Really?" John asked, glaring at her. He had suddenly dropped from a good mood to being a little tense, I could only assume it was the Stanford issue. I saw where Cole was going with the joke and hoped to get John back into a happier mood.

"Yeah, he's decided it's his lifelong aspiration to be a table dancing stripper," I said, smirking at Dean, who was looking pensively over at John.

John looked at us all quietly for a moment and then his face broke into a grin. "You used my credit card to pay for a stripper?" He asked, playing along, glancing over at Cole.

Cole looked incredulous. "Do I look stupid?!" She asked. "Strippers won't take anything cold hard cash. So Beth paid for Dean's little show, not much mind you, he's a cheap ho." She grinned at Dean who managed to look offended. "I used your credit card to pay for the tetanus shot," she finished, grinning away.

We all burst out laughing at the thought of Dean needing a tetanus shot from table top dancing.

"Of couse, Dean, you really need to watch out for those metal poles," Bobby said, chuckling away. I felt him bristling at all the teasing next to me and patted Dean on the shoulder. He really needed to learn to lighten up, especially since he was certainly good at giving out the teasing.

Coles' bedroom

It was after midnight, we'd been in bed for a few hours. I had gone through with what I'd said earlier in the day and moved my things up to Cole's room, where I usually shared her queen sized bed with her.

She had been tossing fitfully for the last ten minutes, waking me up when she landed a blow to the side of my head. I watched her, reaching out to brush my hand along her forehead, and she flinched in her sleep. "No," she whimpered and I sat up, looking at her in the light of the moon from the skylight above us.

"Cole?" I asked, touching her shoulder.

She cried out and rolled on to he back, swinging an arm out to the side.

"No, no, no, no, no, no..." she whimpered again and I decided this was no ordinary dream. I started to shake her, trying to get her to wake up.

"Cole!" I watched as tears fell down her face. "Cole, sweetie you gotta wake up! Cole?" She was shaking her head from side to side and I lifted her up a little, shaking her by the shoulders. "God dammit wake the heck up!" I said louder and her eyes snapped open, trying to focus on me as she came out of the dream.

"What happened?" She asked and I let go of her, helping her back down to her pillow.

"You were just having a bad dream, a nightmare," I said to her, leaning down beside her.

"It wasn't just a nightmare," she said, looking up at me. "I see it all the time. Like a constant shitty loop over and over in my head." I grimaced, realising she was talking about the rape. "And there's nothing I can do about any of it. And the only time I feel like I even have a little bit of comfort is when..." her voice trailed off and she looked over at me a little guiltily.

"When you're with Dad?" I asked gently, finishing the statement. It had to be what she'd been going to say. Cole looked at me, trying to look surprised, but she couldn't quite pull it off.

"I found out this morning," I said with a smile. She looked at me hesitantly. "I saw you guys in the gym," I pointed out, and Cole sat up a little to look at me.

"I have to say, I'm a bit hurt you didn't tell me sooner," I said to her, "At the same time, I cannot believe that he has been riding Dean and me so hard! Do you know how much we've struggled to keep to his rules? Oh my god! All this time I've been pushing him away … and … and …" I shook my head, not even wanting to think about it. It's all I'd been thinking about all day since I'd seen him, and I still hadn't come to any conclusions about what to do. I ran my hands across my face, groaning.

"I'm sorry Beth," Cole said to me quietly, chewing on her lower lip.

I sighed at her and I knew I couldn't stay mad at her. "You're my sister, and I love you. I want to see you happy, and I want to see him happy. Whether I like it or not, both of your demons are less exaggerated when you're together." It was the truth, John had seemed to be a lot more patient lately, a little less aggitated perhaps.

"So can I ask you something?" I questioned, looking at her. "Although I may not want to know the answer..."

"Shoot," Cole said to me.

"How long have you guys been together? Really?" I asked, because it was clear as day that this wasn't something that had just happened overnight.

Cole paused as if she was assessing how I was going to take her news. "We've been together since, May 18th," she said, and I did the math. She'd told me about the rape in June. So that meant they'd had something going on since before then even. I gaped at her.

"You guys were together not even a month after you got assaulted? Cole what the hell were you thinking?!" I asked her, shaking my head.

Cole ducked her head and avoided my look. "Beth, I needed him in that time. I couldn't call my father. My God could you imagine how much this would destroy him if he found out I was raped?!" She has started to cry, silent tears that ran down her cheeks. I wanted to hug her, but I also wanted to let her finish, so I did nothing.

"That his precious, strong daughter was overpowered by a couple of humans? I felt like no one would ever want me, like I'm damaged goods, and John shows me every time he sees me how far off the path I've gotten, how wrong I am. He makes me feel safe, cared for, protected." Cole said, brushing the tears away with a swipe of her hand.

I nodded, taking all this in, and then I decided to lighten the mood a little.

"Can I ask you another question?" I asked, smiling.

"Shoot," Cole replied, looking at me.

"What were you guys really doing on the kitchen table?" I said with a grin.

Cole laughed. "We, uh, weren't exactly fighting. If that helps any. Well okay, mostly we weren't fighting." She hesitated, and I decided that I was going to push the answer a little. Lord knows she'd had to listen to the crap about me and Dean often enough, the least I could do was be there to listen to her talk about John.

"Oh, no ma'am. You are not getting out of this one that easily. I tell you everything Dean and I do. Spill the damn details." I said, sitting back and pulling my knees up to my chin, wrapping my arms around them.

Cole paused and then nodded. "So I kinda had a rough night last night. And it all started with a kiss," she stopped, looking at me as if checking that I really wanted to hear all this. I had to admit, I was kind of curious – this was a side to John I'd never seen.

"Then we got into a fight, this is where we broke the wall… don't ask!" She said and I giggled, trying to picture it. "I flipped him onto the table he pulled a knife on me, so I pulled his own gun on him," I almost laughed out loud at that image. John Winchester, defeated by a little girl who wasn't only half his age, she was half his size too – he towered over her short stature.

"We ended up making out on the table before it collapsed under us – you know the results of that." She said with a grimace. "And then we had another fight out in the gym, and finally another kiss, which I'm guessing is the one that you saw." I nodded and sat back.

"You guys were fighting?" I asked, it had seemed like it, but also seemed strange.

"No. Not really we were…..uhm taking our frustrations out on each other." She explained and I chuckled.

"Well that explains all the things I've noticed when you two are around each other, you both are tense, moody, and you gravitate towards each other. It's all sexual tension." I said to her, and it had only taken me seeing them kiss to piece it all together. How dumb was that? I laughed, shaking my head. "Trust me, Dean and I have that going too," I said quietly. Suddenly everything seemed really clear to me in the light of a new day – not that the sun was out yet.

Cole rolled on to her back, staring at the ceiling, and I lay down, rolling on to my side and looking at her. "I'm gonna try and get some sleep now, unless you need me to talk some more." I said to her. It would be dawn soon, and I knew Dean would come looking for me, he always did on my birthday, it was a tradition with us now.

"Nah hon, I'm good, you get some sleep, I'm gonna get dressed and try to put in a work out," Cole said to me and I nodded. It wasn't uncommon for me to wake up in the middle of the night and find her gone, she had odd sleeping habits that seemed to have just gotten worse since the attack.

She got up and flipped the light switch by the doorway, flooding the room with brightness. I groaned and pulled my pillow over my eyes while she went about getting some work-out clothes on. As she left she turned the light off and shut the door. I pulled the pillow off my face and stared out the skylight at the moon overhead.

Thinking about Dean I suddenly realised I didn't want to wait until dawn to see him, and I really doubted my ability to fall back asleep now my mind had started down this road. I debated the different options I had, and wondered if perhaps I'd left things too late? Dean had been really sullen with me all night, barely even acknowledging me as I'd said good night and headed up to bed. What if he was sick and tired of the constant yo-yo'ing on my feelings for him?

I groaned, rolling over on to my stomach and burying my face in the pillow. I lay like this for a little while, still fighting internally with my self-doubt and my heart. My heart won out, and I decided to chance the possible rejection. Better to know now than lay awake all night wondering.

I was wearing one of his t-shirts as a nightie, it hit me at the tops of my thighs, a pair of knickers was all I had on underneath, and it was all I planned on wearing downstairs too. I sneaked down the stairs, listening for any movement. Cole was long gone though, and everyone else seemed to be asleep.

The door to the spare room no longer creaked, thanks to Bobby oiling the hinges since last time we'd stayed there, so I was able to slip into the room without anyone being the wiser. I glanced over at Sam, who was in the single bed and snoring softly. Good, he was fast asleep. Unfortunately, so was Dean. I didn't know where John was, he should have been in with Dean, but from what I could tell, only Dean had been sleeping in the bed this night. I chuckled a little bit, wondering if Cole was off having a midnight rendezvous with John, then I pushed it out of my mind, because it still made me slightly uncomfortable thinking about that.

I hesitated at the side of the bed, looking over at Dean. He was sleeping on his side, his face turned toward the wall and away from me. I reached out and tentatively shook his shoulder. He murmured in his sleep but he didn't quite wake up.

"Dean!" I whispered to him, shaking him again. This time he opened his eyes, turning to look over his shoulder, looking at little startled. He frowned when he saw me and I took a step back, biting my lip. He pushed a little button on his watch and a light came on so he could see the time.

"Hey, you ok?" He asked softly, looking at me after he realised what time it was. I couldn't find my voice all of a sudden, I didn't know what to say, so I shook my head at him. His eyes softened and he pulled back the covers, grabbing me by the hand and pulling me into the bed with him. I moved quickly and quietly, allowing him to guide me in to his warm body. I shivered, wrapping my arms around his waist and leaning in to his chest with a sigh.

"What's wrong?" He asked, brushing the hair out of my eyes and looking at me in the light of the moon coming in from the window.

"Everything's wrong," I said, finally finding my words. He frowned at me and I buried my face into his neck, breathing in that faint smell of leather and pine that was always present with him. Dean started to stroke my hair, holding me close as I felt myself being lulled into a warm safe place. I just wanted to fall asleep in his arms and never wake up if it meant it had to stop.

I felt his lips graze my forehead, and then a gentle hand lifted my chin up so that I was looking into those hazel eyes that were dark and stormy.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, and I nodded at him. Of course I trusted him, he was my best friend, my brother, my protector. "It'll be ok," he promised me, and he leaned down, kissing me softly. I moaned as he nibbled on my lower lip for a bit, smoothing the little nips out with a slow lick along my lips before sliding his tongue in to meet mine. I circled his tongue with my own, a slow fire starting to burn from my stomach and spreading out.

I sighed contentedly as he kissed me, melting under his hands as he ran one along my arm and slid it around my waist, pulling me close. Dean pulled back with a reluctant groan, looking at me again. "We'll take it slow," he whispered, leaning his forehead to mine and I sighed, fighting back the fear that was sitting heavily in my heart.

"I'm scared," I whispered to him, trying not to wake up Sam by having too much of a conversation.

"Of me?" Dean asked, a confused look on his face as he moved back to look at me. I nearly laughed out loud.

"Not of you silly," I whispered with a little giggle. I turned serious eyes up to him. "Of Dad, of what it will mean, of what it will do to our family." The unspoken reality was that not all relationships made it, there was a risk in getting involved. What if we didn't make it? What if we ended up in a big mess of emotions, broken and shattered? Where would I go then? How could I stay?

Dean seemed to sense some of my hesitation because he looked at me determinedly. "It'll be ok. We're adults, we can do this," he said to me. "You'll always be my sister Beth, if nothing else we will always have that, ok?" I nodded at him and smiled, my heart was starting to do little skips and my stomach felt like it had a thousand butterflies flapping around inside it. Were we really talking about doing this?

He started to kiss his way along my shoulder, making his way up to my ear where he placed a single soft kiss. "Get some sleep before we have to get up, dawn will be here before we know it," he said quietly, and I nodded, inching my way closer to him. I tucked my face into his neck and just breathed in his scent. He smelled like Christmas morning, it must have been something in his aftershave or deodorant that had pine in it – either way, it brought me into a happy space.

It felt completely normal to be tucked up together like this, hiding under the covers and stealing kisses and forbidden touches. I couldn't have loved him more in that moment, I'd needed that reassurance that we were doing the right thing, and he was right there with me. I shouldn't have been surprised, after all, it'd been more me doing the pushing away than him over the years.

I grimaced, thinking about it, and resolved to make it up to us both. I didn't know how we were going to break the news to John, probably not at all to begin with. But he'd fine out eventually, that much was for certain; if yesterday had told me nothing else, it had told me that you couldn't hide these feelings forever, even the great John Winchester had slipped up, and I'd found out his little secret.

I focused on the pulse at Dean's neck, it was steady and strong, and it lulled me into a sleepy daze. I was warm and protected in his arms and I felt so happy. With a sigh I let sleep claim me, and found myself looking forward to morning when we could explore this a little further.

~ To Be Continued ~

AUTHOR'S NOTES

The song for this chapter is Bring Me To Life by Evanescence.

I can't thank EarthhAngel enough for bringing young Dean and Beth to life in her own stories and touching some of their backstory. This has been such fun to collaborate on and I am so flattered she is including Beth in her story! Cole has been a lot of fun for me to guest star in All Hell Breaks Loose as well, and she's sure to pop up in future stories as well! We already have a few crossovers planned :)

This is just Part 1 because How To Save A Life is quite a few chapters which I can't include in a full chapter. I'm already hitting 32 pages in Word! So I'll be breaking it into two parts, the next part will cover the second half of EA's story so far, as we get a little more insight into how Dean and Beth explore their budding new romance while still hiding it from everyone (except Cole!).

Once I'm done telling this little backstory (which I'm currently obsessed with) I'll be getting stuck into Magnificent Seven and Season 3, so that'll be happening in the next couple of days too.

So I've had a few people indicate it can be difficult going back to find the sexy Dean moments, so I was considering making a new story which is basically all the smut combined into one story. I'm not even sure this is technically allowed on Fanfic, but hey, everyone else is doing it :D hahaha Anyway, thoughts? Happy to do it, wouldn't remove it from the regular stories, it would just be like a bonus "hits of smut" sort of thing - saving us poor souls who want to relive the sexy moments from having to go searching for them!

Please leave a review and tell me what you think!