Chapter 5~ I Want to Kiss You
Well it might be the smile
Or the way you look into my eyes
Baby ooh what to do
I won't know until I kiss you
That's why, that's why I got to have you
I got to have you baby
Devin~ I Want To Kiss You
~Edward~
My life fucking sucks balls.
So, if I hadn't been high as that Space Needle thing in Seattle, I would have pissed my jeans right there on the balcony. When I took her out there, it never even occurred to me that she would make the window observation. But she leaned over and I swear to God, a look of wistful wonderment filled her eyes as she asked if I could see her window from where we stood.
Her goddamn window.
Holy Christ.
I completely panicked, almost turning green with nausea. But before I could actually answer or think of anything clever to divert her attention, Jazz walked in and saved my ass. I knew I owed him big, and he had no clue as to what a humongous favor he had just done me. If she ever found out it would sever any impending friendship with her. Not to mention adding "creepy voyeuristic pervert" to my reputation as the "scary quiet freak who dressed well and avoided estrogen like the plague."
Hey, at least they'd stop thinking I was gay.
However, keeping in mind the fact he called her, "Babe," and casually threw his arm around her shoulders when he ushered her out of my room…I should have beat his ass, so in my book we were even.
My clever plan of being a complete dick to her was total fail. The conversation we'd had on my balcony, though wholly benign, could be interpreted as highly intimate for a person who hadn't touched or spoken to a female under the age of eighteen in over a year. Which I should take the opportunity to mention here- the restraint and commitment that that entailed was work, even for someone as regimented and methodical, regarding mundane daily practices such as I was.
But at some point, I figured I could have innocent conversations with her as long as I didn't touch her…or let her touch me. That was the tricky part.
She had moved to playfully slap me on the arm when I was teasing her about being a spaz and I yanked myself back as if she had cooties and we were in the second grade. She was either going to think I was a total pussy and scared to get hit by a girl, a germaphobe, or even a haphebaphobic, which is what most people thought anyway. It was easier to let people assume I had a fear of being touched than to reveal the ugly truth. I suppose it was always easier to hide under a mask than to wear the scars of a damaged and fucked up past outwardly on my face.
Particularly scars that I didn't earn. Well, not really.
Besides, I knew half the Forks High School population thought I was gay anyway. I never defended it or denied it, and I knew there were rumors going around about me since the first week we'd arrived. It wasn't a farfetched notion- I mean, I dressed better than any of these lame K-Mart brand t-shirt wearing motherfuckers would ever know, I drove a sixty thousand dollar car, I never spoke to, touched or looked at anything with breasts, I was a complete neat freak, and totally anal retentive with a generous amount of OCD thrown in. Except for being outwardly flamboyant, I was just about everything the stereotype entailed and more.
Regardless of the reputation I had earned, I figured it was better that way, since all the girls left me alone. Apparently, the gay male population of Forks was still hiding dubiously in the metaphorical closet because I hadn't once been propositioned by a single guy. If I thought about it hard enough, I might actually be offended by that.
But considering I was a completely indifferent jerk to just about everybody that crossed my path, it wasn't a surprise that I had few guy friends, not that I really wanted any in the first place. Jazz and Emmett's companionship was sufficient enough for me to survive on until things changed.
But none of that shit even mattered to me because until two days ago, not a single one of these generic, small town - trying too hard to look like a Hollywood starlet girls caught my attention.
Now that Bella Swan moved back into town, I was pretty much fucked.
Never in the literal sense.
But here was Bella, out on my balcony with me barefoot, laughing and completely unguarded as her hair blew in the wind. I was terrified of making an ass of myself…and truly, that was a first for me. In Chicago, I never once had a problem talking to girls because I didn't really give a shit about any one in particular. Conversation flowed, and I came off as suave, probably even a little cocky …a few traits I probably inherited from my biological father. I also had a ton of female friends, so talking to girls was actually routine. Now, I was just a mess. And it was all Bella's fault.
I actually had to brace my foot on the balcony rail to stop my leg from shaking because apparently, Bella made me nervous. It was extremely difficult to reign in particularly when being high- for whatever reason, she had a power over me that let some of the walls crumble, much to my protest. It was frustrating, because she was so easy to talk to, so I shouldn't have been shitting myself in her presence. Deep down I knew why that was though.
I never felt this strong of a draw to a girl before. Ever.
After she left that night, I discretely watched her walk home and smiled when she dropped her keys twice at the front door. Jasper watched too, making crass comments about her ass that made me want to tackle him to the ground and rub sand in his eyes.
We ate our happy earth family organic tree bark and fat free/ salt free/ taste free soy mulch dinner and I worked out in the basement with Emmett afterward, still famished. We usually bullshitted during our workouts, but I wasn't too eager to admit my precarious predicament to him. Sometimes he could be a complete douche, and I knew very well what he would say. "Fuck her and don't get caught."
As if it was that easy.
So we talked about music and classes and I changed the subject when he asked me if I had seen Charlie's daughter with the great ass. And I don't mind saying how it was pissing me off that everyone was looking at, noticing, and now openly discussing her ass.
When we finished up in the basement, my father called me into his office as I passed his doorway on my way upstairs. I knew it was only a matter of time before he got a progress report call from Dr. Kate. What a little tattletale she was, calling my dad because I had a minor temper tantrum in her office. Even though she was bound by doctor/patient confidentiality, she was obligated to report my progress (or lack thereof) to my parents.
Gesturing to the chair in front of his massive desk he said softly, "Edward, please sit." He sat back, closing the lid of his laptop on the desk. I played innocent as I sat down opposite him, waiting to get reamed. I spent the better part of the conversation rolling my eyes and snorting at Carlisle at his rationale for expecting my cooperation. I knew he understood my side of the heated exchange as well as my actions in her office, but it was his role as a father foremost, as well as my doctor, to protect me. Apparently, behaving in a hostile manner to my court appointed shrink was not in my best interest.
Wanting to escape the room, coupled with the feel of the torturously hot leather under my thighs, was making me insane. I made an unenthusiastic promise to make a sincere apology to Dr. Kate at the next session. I took the opportunity to ask for some more Percocet's for my headaches, and Dad tentatively gave me six pills in a tiny zip lock bag. I knew he was hesitant about doing so, but truly there wasn't any reason to be…well, not really. With the exception of occasional alcohol and marijuana, I hadn't touched anything illegal since we made Forks our residence, but he was always cautious. I left, slumping to my room, pissed off yet again.
It was still relatively early, so after a shower, I vacuumed and dusted as usual, read another chapter of assigned English reading and worked on my History project. I peered out through the arched bathroom window to watch for Bella's bedroom light to go on. When it finally did, I headed outside, cigarette and lighter in hand.
She was in her room a while before she did her personal fashion show in front of the mirror. Outfit after outfit was slipped over her head, modeled and rejected, before the winning selection was chosen- some frilly red top and jeans, I think. The distance made anything from her waist down difficult to make out. She wore a black bra, and I imagined her in something lacy and feminine with matching panties. Uneventful.
After her lights finally went out, I headed back inside. Crossing the room in haste, I locked my bedroom door before I slid in between the cool covers and stuck my hand down my pajama pants.
#
Friday, school was uneventful up until fourth period English. I began to look forward to fourth period, for obvious reasons, but I always figuratively kicked myself in the ass when I ignored Bella's friendly smiles. She tried really hard, but gracefully brushed it off, and I wondered when it would start to trouble her, if ever, that I was such a complete dick to this girl when we weren't completely baked. Maybe she didn't even give a shit about my farce of indifference toward her, but by the way she tried to casually make conversation with me, I knew that was likely not the case.
The problem was that my plan of treating her as if she were nothing to me was such an outright lie, that it actually hurt me knowing that I was upsetting her.
I had it bad…and it had only been three days.
The one hundred I received on my English exam and the very approving nod it accompanied from the teacher elicited quite a reaction from Bella. It lingered in the forefront of my mind for the rest of the day, making me feel like shit. I caught her in my periphery nosily craning her neck in order to get a better look at my test score. When I noticed, I blatantly held the paper up to her with a very arrogant and sarcastic expression, as if to say, here…you wanna see, nosy girl?
She gave me a sarcastic thumbs up, looking away all red-faced. She was clearly embarrassed, and I immediately felt like shit. She didn't look at me the rest of the period, and thank God, because she would have seen me checking her out the whole time. My eyes were fixated on her stupid pink feather pen in which she was absently tracing along her jaw line as she took notes. I am sure my mouth was open wide enough that I could stick my entire foot into it as I gaped at her.
She didn't have a chance to make small talk in Bio, because Banner put on a film. In study hall, I immersed myself in geometry homework, then my English novel, and finally began scrawling random sentences on a sheet of loose-leaf, to make it appear as if I were completely occupied. Across the table, she got the hint, and did little more than look up when I coughed.
As Jasper and I headed to his car, I noticed Bella talking with a group of girls while Alice pouted with her arms crossed in front of her. Jasper caught Bella's attention, pointing to his watch and mouthing 15 minutes, but she shook her head no, motioning with a hand to her ear, which we understood to mean that she would call him. I kept my face blank as I wondered quite agitatedly, as to when the fuck they had exchanged phone numbers.
A half hour later, we were in the tree house, just Jasper and me, when Bella called to say that she was sorry she ditched us. Apparently Rose forced her to go into Port Angeles to shop. Through the phone, I heard her say, "I'll see you guys tonight," and, "Tell Edward I said hi." He relayed the message as he hung up and I shrugged and grumbled an incoherent, "Yeah whatever," while I smiled brightly on the inside.
She was coming to the beach tonight.
I only smoked a little, knowing we would be drinking later and not wanting the combined effects of the weed and alcohol to make me tired. Mom left a message that she and dad were going out to dinner straight from work, so I made myself a shitty fake soy peanut butter substitute and organic blueberry jelly sandwich on shitty 9 grain bread with a glass of shitty almond milk.
Jasper and I smoked up in the tree house and I had to say, it was not the same without Bella. Something was off. There was a heavy weight lingering in the air and I couldn't quite identify what it was, but I think we both felt it. Neither of us mentioned anything and kept the conversation light.
It was around nine thirty when we pulled into the crowded beach parking lot, near the concession stands. Emmett rode with us, which was a welcomed rarity. He usually went with the guys from the team but there was a game tomorrow and he didn't want to get hammered, so he offered to be our designated driver.
We may have been derelicts to an extent, but the three of us made a promise to our parents to never drink and drive. And we kept that promise without question or incident.
The barbecue pits were already blaring with orange flames, spitting sparks into the crisp night air under the aluminum awning. Tyler Crowley had his iPod dock set on one of the old picnic tables, blasting out some classic rock tunes while groups had formed on tables and in corners talking and drinking. Full cases of beer were propped on the wooden tables and a few people were doing shots of something from a single glass that was passed around between them.
Emmett pulled a bottle of Grey Goose borrowed from Carlisle's liquor stash from his letterman's jacket. The three of us took swigs from the bottle and when Mike and Alec joined us, I stopped sharing. Mike got around…I would be damned if I spent the rest of my life battling Herpes from that undiscriminating douche.
I grabbed a beer off the table, throwing a twenty onto the table. Ben's older brother bought the cases and everyone pitched in so he would get reimbursed for the money he spent.
I twisted the cap on my Bud and looked for her. It was crowded already, but she wasn't there yet. I bounced my knee nervously; turning the bottle cap in my fingers as I casually scanned the area for her. I turned when Emmett muttered, "Rose is here."
Which meant that Bella was, too.
The girls pushed their way through the crowd, the three of them making a chain as they clasped hands. Bella was at the end, her hair curly and down, long against her short wool coat. Her bangs were swept toward her ear and occasionally she'd blow them away from her eyes. It made me itchy just to look at them tickling her lashes, but they were sexy as hell.
Mike and Conner stopped them, likely to make crude remarks or whatever it was that they did to repulse girls, and Bella laughed, rolling her eyes. When her gaze caught mine, she smiled. I nodded curtly, turning away from her to light a cigarette. My heart was thumping out of my chest, and I hated myself for not being able to do what felt natural around her. However, I was willing to bet mounting her leg while humping her like a horny dog would not be appropriate in any circumstance.
As they eventually made their way over to us, Emmett approached Rose, making small talk as Alice rambled on to Bella about something about the diner. I stepped up onto the bench to sit at the table, not three feet away from Bella, trying to be cool and aloof and failing miserably. I found myself thinking that if she just stood in between my legs, our mouths would be level.
I wanted to kiss her in the worst imaginable way, and it was becoming painfully frustrating to be around her. The effects of the vodka were hitting pretty strongly by that point, creating a warm numbness in my face and chest. I kept smoking my cigarette, inhaling and exhaling in a sequence of calming rhythm.
"Hey Edward," she cocked her head to the side, examining me or something as a smirk lingered on her mouth. The sight of her eyelashes fluttering sent my coherency into a downward spiral because I still had my thoughts on her mouth being level with mine and I involuntarily sputtered out, "Hey Beeee…"
Oh Fuuuuuuccccckkkkkk.
My lips curled around my teeth preventing the "U-tiful" from escaping. My heart was pounding at the slip up, and I was positive she could hear it, or at least see the light sheen of nervous sweat that was forming over my brows.
She quirked her own perfectly arched eyebrow, making her lips twist. "B?" she questioned. "What…is that your nickname for me or something?" Her hands slid to her hips in annoyance.
I shrugged my shoulders responding ever so eloquently, "Yep." Because I didn't know what else to fucking say, and I was too shaken up and inebriated to think of anything clever on the spot.
"What's it for?" Her eyes narrowed into little slits. She looked so cute when she was mad. And hot…definitely hot.
I shrugged my shoulders, taking a swig of beer to distract her from watching my knees shake. "B… for… Bella. I don't fucking know. Just… B."
"It doesn't mean like, B for Bitch or something derogatory?"
"No, why would you think that?" I felt a soft smile spread over my mouth in genuine incredulity over her suspicions. Her expression suddenly mirrored mine.
"Your name for Alice isn't exactly complimentary." Her hands fidgeted at her silver coat belt buckle.
Ahhh. I shut my eyes briefly in understanding. "I didn't give her the nickname. Jasper did."
"Fine…then I'm calling you… E." She stuck her tongue out lifted her chin in indignation.
I chuckled and said, "That's cool. Jasper and Emmett call me E all the time."
"Yeah but my E isn't short for Edward."
"Oh really? What's it short for then?" I countered, still smirking at her sweet bravado.
She shrugged her shoulders in smug defiance. "E coli…Ebola…" She looked up a second or two fishing for the correct word when she blurted out, "E…E…Erection!" Her hand flew to her mouth in horror as I spit out a mouthful of my beer upon hearing the word erection come from her mouth.
She mouthed, "Oh my God," swiped a beer off the table next to me then turned on her heel and skulked away obviously mortified, leaving me laughing by myself at the table.
She kept her back to me for the most part, but I could see Alice's eyes darting from me to Bella to Jasper. Jasper finally approached them offering beer, which Alice accepted and Bella declined, as he threw his arms casually over their shoulders. I wished I was able to do that.
When Jasper drank, he was overly flirtatious and touchy feely with the girls, which inevitably led to them thinking he was interested. Jasper had made many a girl cry over the last few years. His cavalier behavior annoyed the piss out of me. He left them wondering what the hell they did to make him not want to take them home at the end of the night. A part of me thought that his sadistic side got off on that, and another part of me thought maybe it was his way of putting himself out there, while not having to actually have a relationship with someone. That led me to believe that his break up with Emily was more devastating for him than he let on.
Again, my fault.
Before Bella arrived in Forks, I spent my Friday nights doing the same fucking thing- getting high and drunk at First Beach… making mundane conversation with the guys… watching my brother almost hook up with someone, and ignoring all of the girls who would get shit faced enough to muster up the courage to speak to me. I often wondered if it was a dare, like being challenged to run up and touch the front porch of the neighborhood haunted house.
It was usually Jessica, Makenna and Lauren that hung out with the guys in my group. Not that I had an actual group, but the guys who sat at my lunch table were the ones we usually hung with at the beach and at parties. I was like an extension of them...not really friends, but present none the less.
Occasionally, if I was drunk enough, I'd respond to the girls when they made petty conversation, but I tried to steer clear of them. They were bitches and I didn't like them. Makenna was all right, though. She just followed everything Lauren and Jess did, and that made me feel like she had no backbone or identity of her own. I couldn't respect that.
Anyway, now that Bella was here, I had something to look at…and something else to be pissed off about. Jasper's arm around her... Mike showing her his shitty fake ID… Alec chatting it up with her about God knows what. I was officially obsessed with this girl and she was barely giving me the time of day.
She disappeared to the other side of the sitting area, talking with Angela and Ben and some of the guys on the JV football team. That pissed me off too.
A few hours slipped by, and the beers went down easily. I remained stationed on the picnic table, chain smoking, brooding and glaring at Bella. The more I drank, the angrier I grew. She hadn't said one word to me, not that I had attempted to talk to her at all either after our embarrassing encounter, but still.
I left with Jasper to take a piss in the woods across the street and when I got back, Bella was with Alice, Rose, and Angela sitting at the picnic table where I had been seated for the past two hours.
Before I could even get close to her, the music changed to a girly pop song with a heavy techno beat behind it and all of the girls squealed, "I love this song!" I rolled my eyes as they began dancing in the middle of the picnic area. Alice grabbed Bella's hand, dragging her to the makeshift dance floor.
The guys, including myself, stared incredulously, as coats were shed and tossed onto nearby tables. They were all having such a good time, and a little part of me was jealous that I would never be able to have that kind of carefree, uninhibited fun. One, because I hardly even let my guard down and two, because I lived in a constant state of unhappiness.
Bella and the other girls laughed and pursing their lips while they swayed to the heavy beats of the music. They were carefree and drunk, giggling at each other without a concern in the world. When a few random guys jumped into the mix with the intention of grinding, I felt my whole body tense. My fist gripped the neck of the beer bottle so tightly I thought the glass would shatter under my fingers.
Because I would kill a motherfucker if he touched Bella. And then it would be all over for me.
I watched as Mike moved closer to Bella, snaking his arms around her waist. Jessica gave Bella a nasty glare before she gritted her teeth at Lauren and I felt a cat fight ensuing. I braced my hand on the edge of the table, ready to stand to rip Mike's head off for touching her, or Jessica's…whoever messed with her first. I was not concerned with the fact that I had absolutely no right to cockblock anyone who had interest in Bella, nor that I could probably take Jessica and Lauren down with one hand, but would get arrested doing so.
What the fuck was I even doing?
I made a mental note to properly warn Bella about Jessica and Lauren. They could be vicious bitches, which I had witnessed first-hand in June when some freshman crossed Lauren one time too many. The girl lost a chunk of hair, her front tooth and all of her dignity by the time they were done with her. She had also peed her pants in fear which inevitably led to the transfer to another school by September.
I reigned it in as soon as Rosalie grabbed Bella's wrist and lifted her up on top of the picnic table. Bella tossed her little coat on the bench, fluffing her hair around her shoulders. The two girls danced together, not overtly sexual, but sensual and beautiful. Bella's arms snaked gracefully above her as her feet moved to the techno beats of the music.
Bella's soft black sweater, fuzzy and obscenely tight, hung off one shoulder, exposing a whole lot of tanned, smooth skin. I had my eyes fixated on that shoulder, wanting nothing more than to kiss her skin there and make my way up her neck and then to her earlobe and jaw and eventually to her sweet mouth, leaving the best for last. But I was distracted by her ass, as it wiggled in her tight low cut jeans.
Jasper nudged my arm nodding in her direction just before Alice joined them on the table. He muttered something I couldn't make out, that I probably would have decked him for, and then opened up another beer. He slithered up on the table next to me, snickering as he mumbled incoherently. His head slumped down, and he ran his hand through his hair.
"When did you smoke?" I asked, smelling the distinct odor of weed on his clothes.
"I dunno. Before…you were pissing I guess."
"You didn't think to ask me?"
"No. You wanna go smoke?"
"No forget it," I snapped.
Bella turned around, suddenly making eye contact with me. Even though I was piss drunk and my reactions were sort of numbed and delayed by the alcohol, my heart leapt into my pants, and I could not break her gaze. A smile spread across her face and she lifted a finger up curling it forward.
Come here please.
Thinking she meant my brother, I looked to Jasper.
No…you.
My knees went completely weak. I inhaled deeply, zipping my leather to conceal my arousal. I slid off the table, gripping the neck of my beer and took a few long, wobbly steps toward her. She crouched down, her hands gripping the worn edge of the table, like an animal waiting to pounce on her prey.
Please don't touch me, Bella.
Her eyes met mine again, dark and fierce. I stood a mere two feet away from her, our faces and our mouths level, and I knew if the situation was different I would have taken her into my arms and kissed her.
I took a swig of beer, acting casual before cocking my head to the side.
Her smile never faded as I approached. It turned into a cute little smirk. "Hey B…what's up?"
"Can I bum a cigarette from you, E?" She said E with a sarcastic tone, enjoying our newly formed names for each other. I liked it too, I had to admit.
I pursed my lips, trying to maintain as much control as my drunken state would allow, fishing in my jacket for the pack of smokes. I held my hand out, offering it to her, but she just continued to smirk, making no move to take it from me.
Shit.
Her lips parted and I carefully stuck the cigarette right in her mouth, praying that she wouldn't reach for my hand or something. Cautiously cupping my hand around the end, I lit it, shielding the flame from the wind. I hadn't even been so close to her before. She smelled of burning wood and soapy clean perfume or something.
Bella mouthed, "Thank you." She rose, and resumed dancing seductively on the table while the puffs of smoke drifted upward from her mouth. I walked away smiling to myself as I lit my own cigarette with the realization that Bella was actually flirting with me and I had to completely ignore her.
21 months until freedom.
Won't even matter, because my balls will have exploded by then.
And Bella will be gone.
At some point Emmett had gotten an eye full of Rosalie's provocative outfit, and stormed off somewhere to stew in his jealousy. She took off after him, leaving Bella and Alice to fend for themselves.
It got late and cold as people began to leave, the embers of the barbecue pit fires going out all around us in clouds of dense gray smoke. Jazz was still in a coma on the table next to me and Emmett was nowhere to be found. Bella and Alice were a few feet away, talking quietly.
"We're going to get going. Are you guys okay to drive?" Bella asked.
"Uh, no actually, we're not," I replied, glancing at Jasper's heap. "Have you seen Emmett?"
"He left with Rose about an hour ago. Angela was going to give us a ride home."
"Shit, are you serious? That fucking flat leaving bastard…" I seethed.
"Hey, I can drive you home," Bella said. "I only had one beer, like three hours ago."
Shaking my head I replied, "We have Jasper's car. It's a stick."
She smiled and rolled her eyes. "I can drive a stick." Jasper's head snapped up and he muttered something about "no girl driving his car."
"I learned to drive on Phil's Ferrari. I'll be fine," she said confidently, not masking her annoyance.
That was enough reassurance for me. I popped off the table, pulling Jasper's arm. Jasper climbed in the back, his long legs cramming into the tiny space as he slumped down in the seat next to Alice.
We drove a while, the stillness in the car deafening. It was silent in the back seat, so I turned, expecting to see them sleeping; but very surprised to see Jasper's head nestled in Alice's lap. She was running her fingers through his hair, her head resting back on the seat with a small content smile on her face. Bella turned to glance at them and grimaced at me. We both knew he would be so fucked in the morning when Alice thought they would be getting married or something. I knew for a fact that Alice was not Jasper's type…at all.
Serves him right for getting so wasted.
Bella was surprisingly good at driving a manual transmission. She had no trouble with the coordination of the clutch and break and the gears shifted smoothly under her grip. I watched her hand wrap tightly around the knob as she moved it into third gear.
"Hey E?" she asked. "How fast does this car go?"
I shrugged, smiling at the continued use of my new name. "Jasper hasn't had it long enough to test it out, but I'm guessing probably around 140."
She craned her neck to look behind her at the snoring passengers in the back seat. A Cheshire grin played on her face. "Wanna test it out right now?"
"Uh…" Before I could protest, she down shifted the car into fifth gear, sending it into overdrive. Her foot jammed down onto the gas pedal as we surged ahead at full speed with a huge satisfied grin on her face and only the purr of the engine surrounding us. If I wasn't so wrecked, I probably would have shit my pants, but watching her control the sports car like a pro, excited the hell out of me…until I felt the sudden need to throw up.
"Pull over. Now!" She downshifted and swerved to the side of the road, jerking the car to a stop before I threw open the door. I stumbled out onto the wet grass and puked. I heard her door open and her heels clicking on the ground as she rounded the car toward me, but I held my hand up.
I got back in the car, popped a mint in my mouth while scrubbing my hand over my face embarrassed, but still fucked up enough to not really give a shit. It was her fault anyway. Mostly.
"Sorry," she whispered. She drove the rest of the way home at the speed limit, silent. I told Bella to pull in front of her house, because I didn't want her to walk home alone from ours, even though it was maybe a hundred feet drive way to driveway. We left Alice and Jasper in the car as they were, and she waved good bye.
As she approached her doorstep, I called out, "Hey B? Meet you in the back at noon tomorrow?"
Bella turned. "I won't be home until four. I have a thing."
"Four then?" I asked weakly.
"Yeah, okay. Four." She nodded. "Night Edward…feel better."
"Night, Bella."
I watched her enter the house, before I sauntered down the road alone.
Authors Note:
To those of you new to HA, this story was originally written in 2009-2110, before Smart Phones were a staple and "selfie" was a word. It was written about teenagers, FOR ADULTS, and has extremely explicit content, which is why I took it down to begin with.
18 and over please.
It has 43 chapters and two epilogues. I have no posting schedule. The chapters are already written, but I'm cleaning them up, so they will be posted sporadically, and I'm not making any promises as to when and how often. That being said, if you haven't read my profile, I'm in the very early process of having a YA novel published traditionally, as well as writing another YA WIP. I'm currently in editing hell, but the constant requests for pdf of this were overwhelming. I am reading all the reviews and PM's that are coming in, (totally forgot about that part) and please know that I appreciate every single one, but I won't reply, as my time is limited and this stupid site makes me log in to reply to every single review. So please don't think I'm a jerk. I just have to organize my priorities, and my agent set a deadline, so that comes first.
To those of you who are returning readers, some of you have asked for the original. I PROMISE- you won't know that anything was edited in this one. I'm simply removing redundant sentences, bad grammar and overused dialogue tags, beloved fandom clichés (NO BREATHS THAT SHE DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS HOLDING WILL BE HELD HERE) superfluous outfit descriptions, some of the more… descriptive masturbatory scenes…cus ew, really? Wtf was I thinking? Who even wants to read that? and about half the "fucks." You know, to keep it classy:)
The content will remain the same, just a little cleaner. The story will not be compromised, altered, or reworked. It's just cleaned up. Thanks for reading!
~Stephanie