Author's Note:

SPOILER WARNING FOR THE 1OO

I do address episode 307 in the author's note.

I would just like to start by saying that if you are in mourning right now, I am right there with you. If you're a broken little Clexakru, or really a sad anybody for that matter, I feel for you and my PM box, my twitter (chloe3spade), and my email (chlo3spade at gmail) are 100% open all the time for literally anything you want or need to say, to me, or just to someone in general. (Email is fastest way to contact at the moment.) Especially right now, because as we all know, Lexa Deserved Better. But her story is not ours. Queer women (and queer people in general) can love just as deeply and purely and live just as happy a life as any other human on this earth, and each and every one of us has just as much a right. Our fight is not over. So please, if you are struggling, don't hesitate to send me a message, and I will be there.

This chapter is short and late, which I apologize for profusely, but I really needed the time to collect myself and my thoughts after 307. However, this chapter is fluff centered just for you guys, and this week's chapter should be out early to make up for my lateness!

Also, important: I WILL BE CONTINUING THIS STORY in spite of the events of this past week, and I will likely even have new Clexa and/or Lexark fics out after this one is finished. I am still hardcore Clexakru and I will not be leaving this fandom in the dust. I honestly can't believe the responses this story has gotten so far and I am screaming internally because I am so lucky to have an audience in the Clexakru community. You guys mean a lot to me already, and our ride has just begun!

Sorry for the long winded note, but thanks for sticking with me, and please check out the end note too because I still have a few important issues to address. I hope you enjoy the chapter, please let me know what you think!

On Monday, at approximately five in the morning, the high school sent out a mass email that brought joy to the hearts of their students. Monday would be their first snow day of the second semester. The snow had fallen in puffy clumps and had just begun to melt when Lexa stuck her head out the window. A fat drop fell from the roof and splattered in her face, but the fresh white morning was so beautiful that she didn't care. School had been cancelled as a precaution against the roads freezing over, but for the moment, there was more slush than ice. The weather was not cooperating for Lexa's run that morning, but that was fine, as she had another idea.

Mon 8:43am: Lexa

Hey, do you have plans for the day? I mean, when you wake up.

Mon 8:43am: Lexa

I guess I can actually assume that you won't because we were supposed to be in school today…So, did you want to come hang out at my house for the day? I'm probably just going to be watching Netflix, but even that's better with someone else.

Mon 8:44am: Lexa

Oh, and I have a frozen pizza for lunch!

Mon 9:10am: Clarke

U had me at pizza.

Mon 9:14am: Lexa

On my way! :)

When Lexa arrived, Clarke stood in the driveway waiting. She wore skinny jeans, winter boots, and one of her usual zippered hoodies, with no jacket. Her cheeks were flushed pink from the cold, and her hands rested in her pockets.

"Are you crazy?" Lexa laughed as the girl got in on the passenger's side.

"It's not that cold."

"So yes, you are crazy." She looked over at the blonde before backing up the car and realized, to her surprise, that Clarke was smiling. She stopped the car abruptly right there at the end of the driveway. Clarke's smile faded and she snapped her head towards Lexa, concerned.

"What's wrong? Why'd you stop?"
"You smiled!" Clarke blushed at her words.

"I did?"

"You did! And I've never seen you smile before! I mean I might have when you were over the other day and we were laughing, but I couldn't see much of anything when I was laughing that hard." Lexa was brimming with joy.

"Oh," the blonde laughed, "well um, you're kinda funny. I had to smile." It was Lexa's turn to blush. She turned away to continue backing out onto the road, and the girls sat quietly, peacefully the rest of the way to the apartment.

"This is so weird," Clarke said as she kicked off her shoes near the door.

"What's weird?"

"Being here. I mean, like not for a project. I haven't gone to someone's house just to hang out in…God, I don't know how long. Definitely not since I moved here."

"You haven't? Why not?" Lexa had started popping popcorn in the kitchen.

"Well, I don't exactly like anyone here, to start with."

"I can't blame you for that," she laughed, reaching up to get two glasses from the cabinet. "I don't really care about anyone here, either."

"Even if I wanted to though, my mom…she'd never let me. She doesn't actually know that I've been coming here." Clarke sat cautiously on the couch, reaching to bite her nails.

"Wait," Lexa stopped, hands on the counter. "Your mom doesn't know you've been coming over? She doesn't even know you're here now?"

"No," Clarke shrunk back into the couch. "That's why I always have to be home before she is."

The microwave called for Lexa's attention, but as she opened it and poured the steaming popcorn into a big bowl, she kept looking back at Clarke.

"Why doesn't your mom let you go out? Is she super protective?"

"You could say that," she mumbled.

"Well that sucks. What if she met me? Do you think she would let you come over then?"

"Definitely not. You live alone. There's no way she'd consider sending me to an unsupervised household. She makes me feel like such a baby sometimes."

Lexa sat down next to the blonde, setting the popcorn and drinks on the coffee table in front of them.

"I'm sure she means well," she said, her voice soft. "Most people have a good reason for doing things, even if they're the only one who thinks it's a good reason."

"Yeah. You're probably right."

"Oh my God, that movie was so funny! I can't believe I've never seen it before! Where did you find it?"

"My friend Anya from my old school showed it to me," Lexa answered, grinning. "If I had my way, I would have brought her out here with me. I bet you would have loved her."

Clarke smiled back, "She must have been pretty cool to know about movies like that. I haven't laughed so hard since we named our painting."

"Well you should laugh more often," Lexa replied. She immediately regretted having spoken so quickly, and turned away, blushing. "Do you um, do you want to have lunch now?" She stood up and walked towards the kitchen with the empty popcorn bowl in her hands.

"Sure, can I help?"

"There's not much to do, I just have to stick it in the oven. Did you want to choose another movie? Or should we do something else?"

"I don't know," Clarke shrugged. "Is there anything you wanted to do?"

"Nothing in particular." The brunette bent down to put the pizza in the oven, hidden by the counter. After setting a timer, she came back to the couch. Clarke sat facing her with one knee pulled towards her chest, her chin resting on it.

"Nothing in particular sounds good," she said, the corners of her lips sliding up into a smile. Lexa couldn't help but grin in return.

"So, your favorite view is of the night sky," she mused, thinking about their painting.

"Yes. And has been for as long as I can remember."

"May I ask why? If there is a specific reason."

Clarke nodded, shifting in her space on the couch.

"I remember camping a lot when I was really little, just me and my parents. We spent a lot of time laying in our sleeping bags and staring up, talking quietly, laughing loudly. So I guess you could say the stars are, to me, what it feels like to be together. To be happy. And even though now my dad's dead, and my mom's always working, the stars are still there, always. I know the stars would never leave me alone…even if they wanted to." The blonde began to raise her fingers to her lips, but Lexa's hand caught hers. She held the hand gently, uncoiling her fingers and examining them, each one raw and ripped.

"Clarke, doesn't this hurt?"

"Sometimes," she said, not willing to look into the eyes that questioned her.

"Why do you let it get this bad?" There was a genuine concern in Lexa's voice. Her brow furrowed, and the other girl could see her walls coming down. She felt hers start to crumble with them.

"I have to. It keeps me here, keeps my head out of space," she managed.

"Keeps you grounded?" Lexa offered.

"Yeah, sure. It keeps me grounded," she agreed.

"Isn't there something you could do that doesn't hurt you?"

"This hurts much less than the alternative."

"The alternative?" Lexa spoke, her voice soft.

"I hope you'll never have to know about the alternative, Lexa."

One pizza later, the girls were laughing again, now lounging on the rug between the coffee table and the television.

"Seriously? You just jumped the hurdle and kept running?"

"It barely slowed me down, anyway. A leap is essentially one long, slow stride. It just gave me momentum. I got first place, but I suspect they may have given it to me even if the other girl had caught up."

"No way, Lexa, you're bluffing!" Clarke giggled.

"On my honor, Clarke Griffin, I won that race by jumping that hurdle before the officials could realize they had forgotten to remove it from the track. And then I went on to qualify for states at the next meet," she grinned.

"What a show off!" The blonde, who had been laying on her stomach, rolled onto her back snickering at the other girl. Lexa laughed too, and threw a piece of crust playfully. Clarke sat up, grabbed the crust from her stomach, and ripped off a bite, smiling all the while. She saw Lexa's exaggerated grin fade to a small, curious turn of the lips.

"What is it?" she questioned.

"Your hood- you took your hood off," Lexa stammered, a slight blush on her cheeks. Although its removal had been unintentional, Lexa knew its significance. The accidental slipping of the hood had meant that the blonde had been too comfortable in the moment to monitor it.

"Oh," she muttered, reaching up to run a few fingers through tousled hair, "yeah, I guess I did. Is that okay?"

"It's…it's more than okay," she breathed. She stared, taking in the long waves of blonde, the streaks that must have been highlighted by the sun long ago, the curve of her ears beneath the locks. It took Lexa a conscious effort not to reach forward and brush with the back of her hand the soft pink cheek that turned almost imperceptibly from her gaze. "You don't have to hide from me, Clarke."

"Good," she spoke gently, "because I'm starting to think I couldn't if I tried."

For a moment, there was silence as each searched the other's eyes, trying to decipher the emotions that were their own mirrored in the other's face. It was Clarke who snapped first to attention.

"What time is it?"

Lexa glanced around, almost confused, before finding her phone on the coffee table.

"Wow. It's three thirty-nine," she said.

"I should- I should probably get home. In case they let mom out early for the storm," Clarke mumbled.

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll get my keys." They gathered up their dishes and coats quickly and quietly, not allowing themselves to meet the other's eyes.

During the ride back, neither spoke, until the car pulled into Clarke's driveway.

"Lexa?"

"Yes, Clarke?"

"Thank you, um, for having me over. I had a lot of fun. Maybe, we could do it again some time?"

Lexa grinned.

"Absolutely," she replied.

The blonde smiled back, closed the car door, and continued up the driveway and into her house. Lexa remained in park, watching her go. When the front door closed, she leaned heavily back against her seat and closed her eyes.

"Holy shit," she whispered. "This is real."

Author's Note Continued:

I'm back! Again, sorry for the length, but A LOT is going on in the Clexa community right now, so there is a lot to talk about.

To start: Some authors that I follow on here and on AO3 (which I do use by the way, under the same name) have created secondary Tumblrs for their audience and their fanfiction writings. They answer questions, chat with readers, post Clexa/Lexark things, and some even post pictures or songs that relate to or make them think of the story. I've really enjoyed visiting their blogs, and I am on Tumblr all the time, so I'm wondering if that's something that you guys might be interested in? If you would be interested in a Tumblr about this story (and eventually future stories), please let me know in a review or a PM, or by emailing me at chlo3spade at gmail. That is my fanfic specific email so it is also always open for any questions, comments, feedback, emotional outbursts, or friendly chats! I'd love to get to know you guys!

Secondly: If you are on Twitter, PLEASE continue to tag posts with LGBT FANS DESERVE BETTER, and to tweet about and donate to the Trevor Project, especially on Thursday nights before, during, and after the show. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, search the tag on twitter and you'll get lots of examples and explanations. Or, email me if you'd like the long version.) We made a huge impact this past week, making it to the number four trending topic worldwide, and raising $30,000 for the Trevor Project, which is a suicide prevention and awareness charity aimed towards LGBTQIA+ youth. We were even joined by non-clexa shippers from the 1OO community, other fandoms, and LGBT rights supporters across the world. BBC wrote a news article about our noise! We are raising our voices and being heard! This our chance to make a change, friends. Our fight is not over, so don't give up now.

Thanks so much readers! Love you all, keep fighting!