Deidara could only wonder what he had gotten himself into when he saw the ad, to live with Itachi. Maybe if he wasn't so desperate, he could've taken the time to make a sensible decision. Damn, from their first meeting Deidara couldn't tell Itachi was a neat freak who was anal about how every dish was put in the cabinet. He even had a separate place for Deidara's stuff in the fridge, of course, Deidara loathed the idea of this.
He thought this would be more of a bonding experience, like when he first moved into town and he lived with a couple of random people. It was a group of four, two girls, one guy, and Deidara. They shared and even let each other borrow things. Deidara would be shot and killed if he even thought about asking Itachi for a cup of sugar.
Then the worst part about living with a snobby asswipe is that the snobby asswipe has a brother, Sasuke. Sasuke Uchiha was the most disrespectful little shit Deidara had ever seen. He even talked to Itachi like he paid rent. If he was Deidara's brother, he was sure he would've blown the little shit up like one of his many clay creations.
Even now as they spoke Sasuke always had to find some way to make Deidara feel worse about himself.
"You're a loser." Sasuke shrugged. "All you do is sit around the house all day and sleep. Do you have a life?" Sasuke took a break from stuffing his face with cereal to enlighten Deidara that his life sucked.
"It's called I work at night and live life during that day," Deidara said. "There's nothing the matter with it."
"I beg to differ. You don't seem like the secretary type." Sasuke said.
"And you don't seem to be doing anything too great with you life, yeah." Deidara hummed as he looked through the fridge for something to put in his mouth. He didn't have much in there because he had forgotten to go grocery shopping. He would have to make a note to call one of his many sponsors and get some money to fund a grocery shopping trip. He would never spend his own money on food, not when he could get two-hundred dollars in less than twenty minutes.
"I'm in school," Sasuke said.
"Good for you," Deidara said. "What are you going to become a fuckin' doctor or something boring, hmmm."
"No. I'm coming to be a nurse."
"Oh, so you want to sleep with all the doctors, yeah?" Deidara chuckled as he grabbed a grapefruit from Itachi's side of the fridge.
"That's not a nice way to describe the people that save your life," Sasuke said.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You are not saving anyone's life kid. You have a better chance of blowing your teacher than even getting into the nursing program, hmm." Deidara cuts the grapefruit open and fishes out a spoon.
"That's Itachi's grapefruit," Sasuke said.
"I had bought one, yeah. This is mine." The little shit needed to mind his own business. He was the one stealing from his brother, living in this nice apartment in downtown.
Deidara took a seat on the other side of the table and pulled out his phone. He composed a text and sent it to multiple suitors requesting they send him three hundred dollars for groceries. He looked through his recent text and noticed there was a new one from an unknown number.
The text said: Hey. I heard about your services and I want to give it a try.
Deidara was always skeptical of new clients: Where did you get this number? And what's your name?
After a few moments, a text didn't come and Deidara assumed whoever was sending the text was busy. Of course, they were probably working as it was about eleven o'clock.
"What are you doing?" Deidara didn't notice that Sasuke was staring at him the entire time. He was so consumed in his own little world, he had forgotten where he was.
"Nothing texting. Why are you so concern?"
"Well, you have two phone?" Sasuke shrugged. "That's weird. You're not like an agent or something where you need to have a second phone, and the other one is a flip phone. Who carries a flip phone?"
"I have two because I used the other one for work. If the boss needs me, he calls me on the flip phone and he can text me if he needs me to come in early."
"Sure."
"Why don't you mind your own business, yeah?" Deidara gave Sasuke an eye roll and went back to looking through his messages.
"Because you came here and you've been a little weird and I just want to see what you're doing," Sasuke said.
"Well, you should mind your business." Deidara shrugged. "You should worry about banging frat guys and working hard in class like a real college student, yeah."
"Banging frat guys?"
"Well sorority girls, or whatever you like, hmmm." Deidara wasn't concerned about Sasuke, so why was the little shit concerned about him.
"I got my eye on you. Itachi may be busy with work, but you...you seem like you're up to something. You're hiding something and I can see right through you." Sasuke said.
"Well you're hiding something as well and I'm going to see right through you as well, yeah."
"I'm sure you will Deidara," Sasuke said. "If that's even your name?"
"Well, I'm not sure Sasuke is your name, for all I know your first name could be Uchiha." Deidara couldn't believe how childish he sounded at the moment.
"That's my last name." Sasuke looked confused.
"But how do I know that?" Deidara looked at him wide eyed.
"You're an idiot," Sasuke stated as he took his kitchenware up to the sink and washed it.
"Damn, you can't even text in peace here, hmmm." Deidara groaned as he looked back down at his phone.
A short while later, Deidara phone buzzed and it was Mr. X.
I'll send you some money sweetheart ;), but you have to do me a favor.
Mr. X was always so charming and the best person Deidara had ever met (not counting Hidan of course). He did everything Deidara wanted, but he didn't ask much from him except the occasional blow job and to ride his cock like the slut he needed him to be.
Deidara: Anything for you, papa ;)
Mr. X: Don't call me that.
Deidara: No foreplay before I see you and drink a big load of your excellent tasting one percent milk.
Mr. X: Hidan? Hidan thought cum looked like low fat, one-percent, milk.
Deidara: Yeah, yeah, yeah...anyways what do you need me to do.
Mr. X: I want you to go to this hotel room and have sex with the man in there, but Deidara here's the most important part. WHERE Women's clothing and a WIG and bring Hidan along too.
Deidara: Why?
Mr. X: Deidara I will send you way more than three hundred dollars if you do what I ask.
Deidara: How much?
Mr. X: 4 thousand dollars for you and Hidan.
Deidara: Why do me and Hidan get the same amount of money. I thought I was your favorite.
Mr. X: Fine 5 thousand for you.
Deidara: And two gift certificates to the mall you own downtown.
Mr. X: Aren't you asking for too much?
Deidara: You're asking me to sleep with someone I don't know and it seems shady.
Mr. X: Well you're a prostitute, it's your job.
Deidara: I prefer the term therapist of sexual exploration.
Mr. X: ?
Deidara: I haven't actually chosen a term yet, but I will soon and it will be something wonderful.
Mr. X: How about a enroll you in an art class. You said you wanted to be an artist, so I'll enroll you in the best class in the city.
Deidara: Cool and you have to suck on my toes next time I see you.
Mr. X: Don't I always. Goodbye.
Deidara sighed. What a man.
"Oh, you have someone to suck on your toes, huh?" Deidara jumped as he didn't see Sasuke standing over him with a stern look on his face.
"It's none of your business." Deidara tucked the phone away. "I have a man."
"You're fuckin' your boss," Sasuke said. "You said that's the phone that he sends you stuff on, so you're having sex with him. Is he married?"
"It's none of your concern," Deidara said. "I and my man like to have a little foreplay on the phone, yeah. It doesn't mean he's my boss, hmmm. He could be anyone from work."
"Oh please, you said your boss texts you on there. I've figured you out. You're fucking your boss."
"If that's what helps you sleep at night, yeah," Deidara said. "And who cares if I am."
"I mean I don't judge. I thought it was something juicier, but everyone is having an affair. This wasn't even worth my time." Sasuke said.
"Well, next time you'll mind your business," Deidara said. "And things like this wouldn't happen."
"You're still weird and I'm not done digging through your closet."
"Well if you came out of the closet, you would be happier." Deidara retorted.
"Very funny…" Sasuke said. "I'm going to find out more about you."
"We'll get to searching." Deidara rolled his eyes as Sasuke left out of the room. He obviously didn't have a life.
I need to be more careful, yeah.
(BREAK)
"His little brother sounds like a little shit," Hidan said. "He needs to get some dick or somethin' like that. Fuck, I could just invite Kakuzu over there to fuck his little brains out. After that, all he'd be thinkin' about is Kakuzu banging his hole. I mean it's all I think about since he's been inside me. Lord Jashin, I need a good dickin'."
"Having Kakuzu have sex with Sasuke is a bad idea. His older brother might freak. Not to mention he needs to get laid too, yeah." Deidara shrugged. "I have never seen a celibate house before, and I can tell you it's the saddest thing. I doubt the older one even touches himself."
"See invite Kakuzu over and those bitches will fall in line real quick." Hidan shrugged. "I used to be so good and focus on school till I got my first dick in middle school and then it was downhill from there. Still cleaning cum stains out of my uniform till this day."
"Sounds like love, yeah." Deidara rolled his eyes as they sat in the coffee shop chatting.
"I mean seriously I don't know whose worse Itachi or Sasuke. I'm telling you they just need some cock and they'd be okay." Hidan said.
"Why do you assume they're gay?" Deidara asked.
"Because straight guys would be talkin' bout the bitches they bang all the time. Those two seem like they haven't seen a pair of tits in their lives, 'cept for their mother's. Itachi seems like the kind of guy I would've fucked in the shower in high school and Sasuke's obviously hiding something?"
"What do you mean?" Deidara asked.
"If he's all up in your business that means he has something to hide. All noisy people have something to hide that's why they stay in other people's business." Hidan said.
"Oh wow, yeah. That's interesting." Deidara said. "I've never thought of that. He could be. He seems to be smart enough to hide another life."
"You're doing it and so is he," Hidan said. "It's the circle of life, ya know...or some shit like that."
"I don't think the circle of life applies to everything, yeah." Deidara groaned.
"What, you tell me hearing Nants ingonyama bagithi baba doesn't give you so much hope," Hidan said.
"Anyways I brought you here to talk shit about my roommates and to ask what are you doing tonight."
"Working the corner. Showing some leg. Bouncing my boy pussy on a pole. Ruin a couple of marriages." Hidan shrugged. "Just a regular Friday night."
"Well, I hope you can take a break and you can earn four thousand dollars tonight," Deidara smiled. "This man wants a threesome."
"Oh and like do we split the four K?" Hidan said.
"No four thousand for each of us." Deidara wasn't going to disclose that he was getting five thousand then Hidan wouldn't want to do it.
"Oh fuck yeah," Hidan growled. "I haven't seen money like that since Mr. Lightning fucked me on top of my fuckin' commission."
"Yes, it's fuckin awesome, hm," Deidara smiled. "I can just feel myself cumming while money in getting slapped across my ass, yeah."
"I can get...I don't know what I'm going to do with that?" Hidan looked confused. "I mean...maybe a little meth and some cheesecake, but…"
"You can save it," Deidara said.
"Save money?" Hidan looked confused. "I've never saved money before." Hidan wasn't used to getting four or five thousand dollars a night. He didn't get as many high-end clients as Deidara did, but even Deidara only made maybe 2 to 25 k a night, and that was on a good night.
"Well, you can start," Deidara suggested.
Hidan tilted his head. "I guess I could. I could save up and…"
"Go to college, yeah or…"
"Yeah. I guess I can't be a whore forever. Although me at ninety giving men in the old folks home blow jobs does sound pretty awesome."
"Sounds dusty." Deidara chuckled.
"I mean what are you going to do with your life when this is over?"
"Maybe become an artist and sell my painting and works. That was my plan." When Deidara first started, it was by chance. He was walking down the street trying to sell his art and then he approached a man. He asked him would he liked to buy and paint to which the man replied.
"No, but I'd give you five hundred dollars if you let me tap that." He said.
Deidara was broke and didn't have a penny to his name. He was becoming very skinny and he hadn't eaten much today besides a piece of bread he stole from his landlord's home.
So he did what he had to do. "As long as you take the painting to."
"Alright." The man took his hand and they went back to his place. Deidara had so many misconceptions about prostitution. The man was actually very gentle to Deidara. He treated him with respect and Deidara enjoyed the sex.
But of course there was a dark side to prostitution and those were the long fucks where the person only cared about getting off. He was basically a blow-up doll they bent over.
"Well, I'm sure you'll be a great artist," Hidan said.
"What if we saved your money and then when you decided what you want to go to school for you'd go on that money," Deidara suggested.
"I guess. But who said I wanted to go to college." Hidan said. "Those people seem boring and an education doesn't mean much in this world."
"Well, we can put it away until you decide what you want to do with your life." Deidara shrugged.
"You know when I was young I always thought I'd marry my teacher and we'd live in a nice apartment, but then I found out he was straight," Hidan said.
"Your point?" Deidara asked.
"I don't know. I just wanted to tell a fuckin' story. Isn't that what people do during the deep conversation."
"You know I'm enrolling in an art class."
"Oh fuck me."
"Yeah, where."
"In the bathroom with your paint brush, you sexy artist."
"Oh, I can show you turn every shade of red while you scream my name, hmmm." Deidara laughed.
"Use your paintbrush to write your name in white on my ass."
"Okay too far, yeah."
(BREAK)
"I fuckin' hate women's clothing...except I look so fuckin good in it, Hidan my man." Deidara groaned as they walked back to his place. They didn't have time to change at Hidan's because his place was on the other side of town. It was good timing since Itachi was out running errands and Sasuke was probably busy doing his own thing.
"I know. Every time I see you in a skirt I want to spank the shit out of you." Hidan chuckled. "You're getting thick too. You might have to stop me because I might eat your ass soon."
"Too far, yeah," Deidara said. "Way too far."
"Oh well, I just wanted to boost your confidence. You can be androgynous. That's fuckin' awesome." Hidan said. "Itachi can too. I just found him on Facebook and sent him a friend request."
"What?"
"Yeah. I can't believe he has a facebook either. That's like for people with kids, right?" Hidan shrugged. "He needs to get on Instagram, you know my new name is Jashin's little Thot Pot. Of course, there're underscores."
"What type of Instagram name is that?"
"I don't know. What type of email is exploding clitoris at AOL dot com?" Hidan asked.
"It was a joke and I thought if I was going to be a prostitute I would at least have a sense of humor."
"How? You don't have a clit?"
"I sounded better in theory. Like fuckin' on a bicycle. It sounds like it'll be so much fun, but between the kickstand and the small seat it's hard to balance." Deidara smiled.
"That was beautifully said. All of a sudden I feel an urge to buy a bike with my four thousand dollars and get some leg muscles so I can ride Kakuzu on a bike."
"I don't know about that. I think sex would be fun on a treadmill. The faster they run, the deeper they go, ya know."
"Ohhh...nice idea," Hidan said.
"I know. I have all the great ideas like the time I thought of sitting on that guy's face because I couldn't look at him while we fucked, yeah." Deidara said.
"Yeah. I know...ugly people creep me out. Like Kakuzu is ugly but he's so sexy with it and he's smart so that makes my ass and cock sing a happy song."
"Come on." Deidara motioned for Hidan to go into the building. They took the elevator to their stop and entered Deidara's apartment. It was a quiet, except for a slight creaking noise and light panting that could be heard.
"I hear people fucking," Hidan whispered.
"Oh yeah. I hear them too. It sounds hot as fuck." Deidara said. The panting grew louder and whispers and moans coming from two people swam through Deidara and Hidan's ears. Hidan smiled lightly, while Deidara smirked. "This house isn't as celibate as I thought, yeah."
"I know people are getting it on." Hidan laughed. "Let's go see."
They walked over towards the noise and as they got closer the noise became louder. Then it became apparent that it was Sasuke. "Sasuke…"
"Oh, is he getting to know himself in there," Hidan said.
"No there's another person."
"Oh well there getting to know each other." Hidan pulled out his phone.
"I know and it sounds like they're going at it hard." Deidara chuckled. "There going to break the bed."
"Yeah. Fuck him harder." Hidan chuckled. "Yeah…"
"We sound like perverts," Deidara said.
"Well I'm not getting none, so I'm happy knowing someone else is getting some dick." Hidan walked up to the door and grabbed it.
"What are you doing?" Deidara asked.
"I just wanna peek," Hidan said. "I missed out on college. I want to see what all the hype is about."
"No. You can't just open Sasuke's door." Deidara said. "It's wrong. He's sneaking around. We should just go in my room and close the door, yeah."
"Are you going soft on Sasuke."
"No I don't like the brat," Deidara said.
"Well let's see who's dick he's sucking. I need to see if this fucker is hot." Hidan turned to the door.
"Hidan…." Deidara sighed. "One peak."
"Alright." Hidan rubbed his hands together like a fly in wait.
Deidara cracked the door and there on the bed was Sasuke, a hot sweaty mess, with his head thrown back riding a blonde boy who laid on the bed moaning his little heart out.
"Damn he has some form," Hidan said. "You can tell this isn't his first time on the horse."
"Oh my god the fuckin' passion, yeah." Deidara sighed.
"I know damn…get it in Sasuke."
Sasuke came down on blonde boy hard and let out a light sigh. "Na-ru-to…"
"Fuck Sasuke. God, you're amazing!" The boy on the shouted.
"Fuck Naruto." Sasuke threw his head back again and looked like he was enjoying himself too much. It was almost different from the boy Deidara had seen this morning. This boy was having fun.
"Mmmmmm…" The boy named Naruto moaned as Sasuke swerved his hips.
"I'm going to make you cum all over the place."
"Yeah...C'mon Sasuke. Show me what you got teme."
"Yes let him have it." Hidan cheered.
Deidara pulled the door close.
"It was just about to turn into some hot porn." Hidan groaned. "He was just about to sigh...NA-RU-TO. He rode that dick like I used to..before I knew what I was doing."
"I feel like a pervert," Deidara said. "We just watched him have sex."
"Well they shouldn't be so loud and I got a snapshot." Hidan showed Deidara a photo of Sasuke with his head thrown back on Naruto's cock.
"What the hell Hidan?" Deidara asked.
"Like Deidara, this is relationship goals," Hidan said. "This is going to be my new screen saver. I'm going to send this to you."
"No. I don't want to see images of Sasuke while I look through my photos."
"Why?" Hidan said. "Like this is what I want to be with Kakuzu. Look how in love they are...it's fuckin' cute."
"I feel...I don't know how to feel. "
"Quit trying to act like you're such a prude. You're a fuckin' prostitute."
"Oh wait…" Deidara smirked.
"What's wrong. Did that turn you on or something...do you want to do it?" Hidan asked.
"No," Deidara said. "Now I have something on the little cunt."
"What?"
"He's having sex in Itachi's house and I'm sure Itachi wouldn't be happy if he found out Sasuke was banging that blonde kid." Deidara and Hidan went to his room and closed the door.
"Ohhhh...That's a fuckin' awesome idea. And you have proof."
"Yep," Deidara smiled. "I'm going to win this war."
"Alright that's all fine and dandy, but can you help me get into this thong and tights. I also need to tape my dick down, if that's not to much trouble." Hidan said.
"Yeah...yeah...yeah, but you owe me. During this threesome, you have to lick my ass."
"Alright, baby."
(BREAK)
Deidara was half expecting to see Mr. X when he walked into the hotel room, but instead, he got an empty room where air conditioner rumbled softly in the background. Deidara felt a little nervous, which wasn't like him. He usually handled this with ease, but tonight he wasn't himself. It was like he was a character from a movie that was straight improv. Today he was a California tranny named Celia Earhart and Hidan was a tranny named Chanel Monroe.
"See how does this sound, Hidan my man?" Deidara asked. "I got the name Earhart because men take flight after they've been inside me," Deidara says in a very deep feminine voice.
"You should also mention how they get lost at sea as well." Hidan shrugged.
"Oh, can you do any better, yeah?"
"They call me Chanel because I wear Chanel and suck a cock with Chanel lipstick. My last name Monroe because I can put it down presidential style if that's what you'd like."
"That was hot."
"I know. I think I gave myself a boner."
"I know. I wanna spank you after that. You seem so naughty, yeah."
"And shove a nice big black dildo inside of me…"
"Too far."
Hidan sighed. "Where the hell is this man. I'm tired of fuckin' waiting."
Just then there was a knock on the door. Deidara and Hidan both didn't make a sound and sat on the bed. Deidara wondered who would be coming through that door in a moment. He straightened the red wig on his head and the heels on his feet scraped the ground in a fidgeting motion.
Hidan, on the other hand, was hunched over with his elbows on his knees and his face resting on his hands. His blonde Marilyn Monroe style wig was a little messy and his rouge lipstick matched the color of his panties, which were easy to spot with the black mini skirt he wore.
A moment later a man entered the room. He was tall and had long dirty blonde hair. He wore a black suit, which Deidara assumed was a designer. He smoked a cigarette which lit brighter than Hidan's panties and he had a cocky smirk on his lips.
Deidara could feel his tongue slide out of his mouth and moisten his lips. Hmmm...this guy was something. Deidara was sure if he had a vagina it would be wringing wet. The man probably made women drop their panties with one look. He had a great body and his strong thighs looked like he used to be a track runner.
He could see Hidan next to him and he obviously was trying to sit comfortably. His cock was tied down and he was probably threatening a hard on.
"Good god Deidara. I should've cleaned my ass better. You didn't tell me he was going to look like this." Hidan whispered. "Fuck. I look like shit."
"You look fine and you knew we were having anal sex. Why wouldn't you clean your ass out."
"I only douche for sexy men. I don't just douche for anybody."
"You better not get any shit on this man, yeah."
"What are you two whispering about?" He asked as he took a seat between the two on them. His hand rested on Deidara's thigh and Deidara wanted him to take him right there.
"Nothing. Just something stupid." Deidara dropped his yeah and hmmm. Celia would never use them, he thought.
"Really?" He asked with a light chuckle and then he puffed his cigarette again. Deidara mouth watered. He wanted to kiss those tobacco covered lips and he wanted to be taken so bad. What was this man doing to him? "So who's going to be the first to take their clothes off."
"What do you mean?" Hidan asked. "We don't know your name and you don't know ours? Can at least start with introducing ourselves."
"Oh, this one has a bite. I'm going to make you scream by the end of the night."
"Promise."
He laughed. "Call me Salamander."
"And I'm Peaches and Cream of the crop, Presidential mistress, and goddess of all things fashion, Chanel Monroe."
"Oh wow. I didn't know who I was dealing with." He turned to Deidara and squeezed his thigh and Deidara sighed like he'd just been entered.
"I am just Celia Earhart."
"Oh, sexy. I guess we can get lost at sea together."
"Lame," Deidara mumbled, but he couldn't help it...Salamander was fuckin' hot. "If you wanna fuck. Let's fuck."
"You two are naughty little girls and you know what I do to naughty little girls."
"What, Salamander, ye..." Deidara almost lets a yeah slip out of his mouth but catches himself.
"Call me daddy." He stated.
"Alright, papa," Hidan said. "What do you do to bad girls."
He laughed.
(BREAK)
Deidara was on his hands and knees screaming as the belt came down and smack him across the ass. Deidara never understood. Spanking used to be so scary and now they made Deidara wanna cum so hard. Maybe if his dad was Salamander he would've been bad just to get spankings.
"Ahhhh." Hidan was obviously enjoying himself. He lived for this kind of torture. His ass was bright red and he commanded for Hanzo to go harder. "Is that all you got, you little bitch. You're no daddy...more like a stepfather."
SMACK.
"FUCK YEAH!" Hidan moaned as he fell to the bed. "That felt so fuckin' good."
Deidara held back a laugh as he felt the belt hit him on his red cheeks again. Pain spread all over his body and his cock ached so bad. He had freed it and it poked out of his skirt. His cock was bright red and it was the only pain that mattered at the moment. The only problem was that Salamander, daddy, had instructed them not to touch their needy cocks.
The pain stopped then a wet muscle raced inside Deidara's needy pink hole. Deidara' eyes quickly rolled to the back of his head as the man just licked and sucked on his hole like a lolly pop. He gave Deidara's red cheek a hit and Deidara closed his eyes with a light sigh.
"You taste amazing." He said and bit Deidara's ass. "Is this pumpkin spice I smell, whore."
"Mmmm...fuck." Deidara sighed as Salamander shoved his tongue deeper into the plump asshole. It was like he was praising him and worshiping his ass. Deidara could feel his walls cling to that pink mouth muscles as it maneuvered its way through the tight maze.
"Bring that ass here," Salamander tells Hidan and Hidan get on top of Deidara on all fours, The two are stacked like towers.
After a light chuckles, he begins to lick from ass to ass. His tongue playing over there holes and moans fill the room. Salamander was a master with tongue. God, damn he was amazing. It was like his tongue was made for fuckin' asses.
Deidara was enjoying himself, and as a prostitute, he only had occasions where he actually enjoyed the sex and this was one of them.
"Fuck…" Hidan moaned. "Tongue fuck me you asshole."
"Ahhhh…"
"Deidara this threesome is the best thing that ever happen to us."
(BREAK)
Deidara woke up from a nap with a sore ass and he was still tired. He and Hidan had done something wonderful last night, which included using toys on each other and sucking the fuck out of Salamander's big juicy blonde haired covered cock. Who knew that salty muscle would have them both fighting for a lick. It made him think of how much he enjoyed blowing Kisame.
That threesome was two days ago, but it was fresh. Deidara hadn't done a thing since that day. He told Itachi he had some days off and stayed in bed most of the days. It had been a long time since he had some dick that made him tired the next day. Today was just because he was lazy and he was a little sore still.
But he couldn't rest all day because he had a stupid art class at one o'clock. Why did he even agree to this? Of course, this was stupid. Deidara didn't want to have a single thing to do with this art class anymore. He already knew how to paint and he knew how to draw. He let Mr. X talk him into anything, but Deidara guessed he could do some networking. Online it said that at the end there's an art show that is held that lots of people attend. He could use some publicity.
He couldn't be a call boy his entire life.
Deidara went into the kitchen to find him some lunch. He settled on some of the leftover pizza he ordered yesterday. A few moments later Sasuke joined him with some pasta from his side of the fridge.
"So you've been on vacation for the last few days," Sasuke said.
"And you've been limping around the house for the last few days." Deidara chuckled.
"Huh?"
"I mean have you been horseback riding lately," Deidara said. "I mean because obviously, you've been riding something long and hard."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"You know I heard you like your horse's blonde and full of energy. That's probably why you've taken a liking to me, hmmm."
"Ehhhh…"
"You know I always liked my ramen with a little bit of Na-ru-to." Deidara moaned like Sasuke did when he was with Naruto.
Sasuke turned a bright red after hearing Naruto's named called out the way he called it.
"Anyways I'm going to head to my art class and you and your friend have the house to yourselves and you know you can be loud this time." Deidara laughed.
Sasuke didn't say a single word.
"You stay out of my business and I'll stay out of you and Na-ru-to's…" Deidara said. "Deal, Sasuke my man?"
"Deal," Sasuke grunted.
"Alright. Have a nice day and you might want to calm down with all the fucking. It's just a matter of time before your brother notices your limp." Deidara exited the kitchen. He could only imagine the look on Sasuke's face as he headed for the door. He had won. He was winning.
(BREAK)
Art class was filled with six other people who seemed as lost as Deidara. They were probably all rich kids who needed something to do with their time. Deidara couldn't believe that this class had cost so much money. He was sure the teacher was probably going to be some snobby bitch who never sold a fucking painting in their god damned life.
Deidara was sure he'd probably just go to the first three to make Mr. X see he appreciated him and then go on his merry way. That way everyone would be happy. They school would be happy with the money, Deidara could go back to sleeping in on Mondays, and Mr. X could be happy Deidara at least tried to appreciate his gift.
After a few moments, class began. Deidara wondered where the teacher was. He probably thought his time was more important than everyone else, but exactly on time a big giant puppet type thing came into the classroom. It was scary and it crawled on all fours and had a scorpion-like tail that came out of the back.
"Hello." It said in a deep voice that made the girl in front of Deidara shake. "I'm your teacher."
After a few moments, the puppet opened and a man came out of it. He had a smug smirk on his face and his red hair was a sexy mess on his head. He looked bored and he was thin, a little thicker than Deidara, but still thin. His skin was smoother than a porcelain doll. His eyes gave away no emotion and Deidara couldn't tell whether the is the man was excited to be here or if he could care less.
"So that's my puppet, Hiruko." He said. "And I am your teacher Sasori Akasuna, but you can just call me Sasori."
Deidara thought he heard that name before...where? When?
Deidara phone began buzzing in his pocket. He pulled it out and it was a text from Hidan. It was a link. Deidara clicked on it.
Listen to Senator Hanzo Sanshōuo have sex with two prostitutes named (Celia Earhart and Chanel Monroe.)
"Are you fuckin' serious," Deidara shouted.
"Hey girl, guy whatever you are with the blond hair, be quiet," Sasori said. "Or is there something you wish to share with the rest of the class."
(BREAK)
So that's chapter 2:) I hope you enjoyed it