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Title: How to take care of your cyborg
Rating: T
Genre: Gen (attempt at humour I guess)
Word count: 1,475
Characters: Franky, the Straw Hats
Summary: Having a cyborg onboard wasn't always all fun and games.

Waking up early and alone didn't disturb Sanji in the slightest. Sleep wasn't something he was used to have a lot and he could function with a small amount of it. Plus, getting up to prepare a breakfast worthy of his skills and reputation and watching the delight on his crew mates' faces was enough of a reward. However, it didn't mean that waking up was any easier for him than for anyone else. It took time. His internal clock never failed him to wake him up at the same hour each day and he had to literally drag himself out of bed, his eyes squinting and almost entirely closed. Good thing he knew the layout of the ship by heart, he could reach the galley without opening them. He closed the men dorm's door behind him and stretched his limbs, before going up the stairs that led to the kitchen and...

... And splendidly face-plant on the deck. With a groan that was anything but gentlemanlike, Sanji lifted himself from the wooden surface, his face red with anger (And pain. His nose hurt like hell now.) and ready to kick the shit out of anything that had been on his way - probably one of Usopp's newest inventions, he was leaving them everywhere, only to be greeted by quite a peculiar sight.

"... What are you even doing, shitty cyborg?"

The anger of his violent awakening faded away. The future Pirate King's shipwright was totally sprawled out on the grass of the Thousand Sunny on his back, his imposing arms outstretched on either side of his head, and he didn't seem to have even flinched when Sanji has tripped on his legs. Instead, he was staring at him with a weird look, as if he was saying Sanji was the one ridiculous in this situation.

"I'm watching the sky, can't you tell?"

"... Alright. Have fun being sentimental or whatever."

"You're being really suuuper dumb, cook-bro. I just can't move at all."

That made Sanji stop. Indeed, when taking another glance at his crew mate, he seemed to have been there for a long time and his body looked completely stiff. If he was looking at him, his head wasn't turned towards him. Overall, Sanji had never seen him that calm, but he wasn't an idiot and he knew something was wrong with the cyborg, something that was way out of his expertise.

"Why didn't you yell or something? And whoever was on watch didn't see you?"

"Oh yeah, super idea, why couldn't I think of that sooner?"

"You're being awfully sarcastic for someone who's totally incapacitated, you know that?"

"Not my fault you ask dumb questions. And I think Zoro has fallen asleep on watch again, so no, no one saw me."

"I'm going to kick his ass later. I'll call Chopper."

"No need. I know exactly what's wrong, I just need help to fix it."

"... Let's be clear, I'm not sticking my hands in your body."

"..."

"... That didn't sound so weird in my head. Whatever, I'll carry you to the infirmary and we'll wait for everyone to wake up."

Sanji ended up carrying the shipwright to his workshop upon his request and it was a tedious process as Sanji had forgotten that cyborg meant 'made out of fucking metal' and metal is heavy. With swears and insults that would even shock a sailor, he finally dropped him on the table in the workshop with a loud crashing noise and left him there, ordering him with an accusing and pissed off finger to 'just stay there and wait for the others'. Alright. It's not like he could do anything else.

The rest of the crew not being early birds, Franky waited once more, but he was getting used to it. They finally showed up almost all at once with concerned looks on their faces, Chopper the first in line. They assaulted him with questions and it seemed that Sanji had made it sound like worse than it was. Then Zoro entered the room last, minutes after everyone else, yawning and stretching.

"What are you all doing here, that's not where breakfast is."

He was greeted with stares full of blame and bewilderment. How could someone be so dense and yet so aware of their enemies and goals at the same time?

They ended up forming a circle around Franky, still sprawled on the metal table when he asked them to, once that Zoro and Sanji's morning bickering was over.

"Alright, so basically, I didn't notice, but the fight we had with those lame pirates yesterday did more damage than I thought and it kind of screwed up a few wires and everything, and now I just can't move. I just need your help to fix it and check if there's anything else that need to be changed."

"I hope you do realize whose help you're asking. To do precise work that requires no mistake. Us," Nami pointed out.

"Don't worry sis, I have faith in you! It's super easy, I'll tell you exactly what to do, you'll see!"

They all grabbed different kinds of screwdrivers and tools and got to work, hesitant to touch anything even with Franky's optimism.

"It's too early in the morning for this…" Usopp muttered.

"Maybe for you, but I'm having fun, look!"

"I don't pretend to have any knowledge about this, but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to have that in your hands, Luffy, just put it back where you found it," Nami urged him.

"Alright," The future pirate King complied and dropped it without a care in the open panel in Franky's back. It continued its fall inside, loudly clattering against other artificial parts of the cyborg's body. "Oops, my bad."

Once the captain was kicked in the head for his stupidity, they tried to follow Franky's advice and instructions. Zoro and Sanji's expressions were for once mirroring each other, standing next to each other and exchanging puzzled looks over Franky's open panel on his left arm. Zoro's monstrous strength ripped something off at some point and Sanji urged him to just put it back when he realized Franky was too busy to notice. The latter was occupied with Chopper and Usopp on his right arm that were probably the most diligent and capable students of this little improvised 'How to fix a cyborg' class. Meanwhile, Robin was, with a devious grin, using her multiple hands inside his open back under Brook's supervision (and maybe it wasn't such a good idea to leave the two of them on their own, as they were having way too much fun probing and poking everything without any consideration) while Nami was trying to read the blueprints of the artificial body, turning the sheets every so often. As for Luffy… Well, they were all trying to keep him from destroying everything.

They thought everything was going well, until all Hell broke loose when Nami suddenly screamed.

"Oh my god Usopp, you took off his nose!"

"Holy shit, I'm holding his freaking nose in my hand!"

"Don't fucking drop it, moron!"

"Don't throw my nose awa-JUST GIVE IT BACK!"

"My my, that is quite an interesting panel here, what's underneath it?"

"Robin, Franky isn't your new morbid interest, just stop that."

"There's something leaking from there and it's not cola, I can tell you that much."

"But I can, and it's booze."

"Hey, moss head, check this out."

"Why is there so many wires?!"

"I have a better idea: let's cut everything."

"Zoro, you get down from this table right now or else I'll make you fly all the way back to the East Blue with a lifetime worth of debts."

That is when all hopes for a peaceful day vanished.

"We're never doing this again. Never again. Franky, next time, you make sure everything is clear before going to bed and you fix yourself alone," Sanji huffed, collapsed in a corner of the room, hours and hours after the actual repairs actually started. They all were covered in oil and grease, messy hair and tired looks, and Usopp had even a bit of his clothes burned. Only Franky was up with a beaming smile and shining limbs under the stares of complete bafflement and annoyance of his crew.

"Actually, now that I think of it, it'll be much easier for me if you helped me like, once a month, to do the maintenan-"

"I said: never again."

'Never again' quickly became 'Why are we doing this again?' the next month and the ones that followed. Needless to say that the ship became filled with screams and fighting (and for unknown reasons explosions and fires from time to time) for the whole day each time and in the midst of the mayhem, it was quite the bonding experience.

I had fun with this one. I figured, being a cyborg must bring its share of problems.

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