Author'sNotes: Enjoy!
Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto or any of it's characters.
My heart stopped... then throbbed, and I had to reach up and grip the fabric over my chest. This didn't-...was something wrong?
"I- I thought-." I glanced over in Kiba's direction, hoping that I wasn't the only one seeing this. Choji, my Choji, was actually standing in front of me. My hand fell helplessly to my side. "Weren't you on a mission?" I asked dumbly, trying desperately to keep my voice even. He merely nodded, and I couldn't help but feel a stabbing pain at that. I hated when he acted like this around me, I hated to be reminded of how far we have drifted away from each other. I resisted the urge to reach out and touch him. That was something only the other me would do, the me, that he was actually willing to call his friend. I sighed, not wanting to prolong this pain any longer. I allowed my gaze to lock with Choji's, and, although I felt like shit for doing this, I fixed him with a cold gaze that said that I didnt have time for this shit. Choji didn't show any outward response. But my next words made him flinch. "So what do you want?"
...
~(30 minutes later )~
I gingerly sat my cup of tea down on the coffee table, my mind racing as to what would bring Choji here on his own. It wasn't like him to just show up anymore, and the only other time he just pops in like this is when a mission is involved, or lady Tsunade. I carefully placed myself down on my sofa, making sure to sit on the complete opposite side. As far away from Choji as physically possible, without falling off of course. He stole a glance at me as I did this and I crossed my legs, showing him that I was waiting.
"..."
"..."
"Y-..."
"..."
"..."
"...Why are you here?" I asked guardly, blowing my bangs out of my face impatiently. He flinched, his fist clenching and unclenching on his lap.
"Is there even a reason why you're here?" I asked, questioningly, leaning forward. When he didn't answer, I sighed.
"Choji?"
"..."
"..."
"...I... I... I j-just-." He sighed. "I don't know." He mumbled.
"W-what?"
He finally turned his gaze towards me. "I... I don't know... I just wanted to see you... I guess."
I jerked my head up at that.
"You wanted to see... me?" He nodded slowly, almost as if unsure, and I couldn't help but wonder if that was really the case. It wasn't like Choji to act like this, to show up at my house unannounced and with no real purpose in mind. Three years ago I wouldn't have questioned it, nor have given it so much as a second thought, but that was then and this is now. It gave me pause.
"Choji..."
He immediately stiffened at the sound of his name, and I couldn't help but shake my head at him. "Relax," I said soothingly, but then thought for a moment. "I- I don't know why you're here." I began softly, the words tasting funny and awkward on my tongue. "But at the same time, I'm more than positive that you don't know either." His eyes seemed to snapped up at me, obviously startled by my statement. I felt a warm smile spread across my lips at that. "Am I wrong?" I asked, unable to keep the teasing tone out of my voice. I watched as his face began to flash red, and damn near choked on a giggle, his face turning redder. I had to place a hand over my mouth. "Choji-." "Ren I-..." We both paused and looked at each other, trying to give the other a chance to speak. "Choji?" I questioned softly. I watched as his face turned beat red at the sound of his name. He instantly averted his eyes, and started to take what seemed like a keen interest in my coffee table. I couldn't help feeling a little hurt. 'And here I thought that we were starting to make a little bit of progress.' I couldn't help feeling a little self-conscious, nervously tucking a few strands of my black hair behind my ear. D-did I gain too much weight? I brushed the back of my hand under my chin, then rubbed a hand up and down my arm, feeling the fat there. "Well, I guess it can't be helped, I am leaning a bit on the chubby side." I mumbled inaudible. And I guess my feelings must have shown on my face because Choji quietly spoke up. "I'm sorry." He murmured, almost as if he knew that he had hurt me, and it was then that I realized that I had sighed without meaning to... Huh, how unlike me. I decided to play stupid. "Bout what?" I asked tilting my innocently to the side. A small smirk appeared on his lips at that and we both knew that he knew what I was doing. I couldn't help but smile as well, remembering the last time I had teased him like this. We were both still in our teens, 18 to be exact, we were at Shikamaru's favorite cloud viewing spot. I still remember the smile that he had given me that day, even if it was four years ago. I remember because it was one of the few times that Choji had given me his last chip and the first time... "..." I gazed steadily at him, not knowing how long I've been at it, started taking in every inch of the man sitting across from me. "..." He only seemed to be able to stare back, almost as if in a trance... And then suddenly... "You remember it too, right?" He said, eyes boring into mine. "That day, on the roof tops... It was four years ago, wasn't it?" He asked softly. I nodded, surprised that he was thinking about he same thing as me. I had thought, that if anything, he would want to forget that day, not bring it up. I watched as he looked at me, studied me. He was sizing up my reaction I could tell. He wasn't sure weither or not he should continue with this subject or to just drop it, and that was understandable, cause that day wasn't an ordinary day for us. It was the day that I had realized just how far my feelings for Choji went. And it was also on that day did I realized that there was a chance for, well, for us. I slowly began to blush, "How could I forget?" I sighed longingly. Choji caught it in an instant. "So you do remember..." I looked up at him, "I'm surprised that you do as well." I said evenly. "Cause if anything, I thought that you would want to-." "Forget?" He said cutting me off. I nodded hesitantly. He turned his head away from me. And then almost as if he was looking back into the past, he slowly opened his mouth. "...I- I did... At least at one point in time anyway..." My heart stopped. Throbbed. Shriveled up into a tiny little ball, and then just shattered into a million little pieces. How could I have been so stupid?! I felt my eyes begin to get misty and I slapped my hand over my mouth, trying my best to silence the dry choked up sob that was trying to rip free from my throat. But that just didn't seem to be enough. I had to get away from him. I damn near flew to my feet, and made my way into the kitchen, holding onto the counter for support. Wide-eyed and shocked from my sudden change in behavior, he was by my side in an instant... But I didn't look at him, I couldn't look at him. "Ren...?" "I think you should go." I said quietly, dodging his hand as he reached out to touch me. It froze in mid air. "What?" "Go damn it!" I snapped, a tear rolling down my face. I swiftly turned my back to him. "Please. Just go." I felt a hesitant hand on my shoulder. "But why?" He just about pleaded, stepping closer. I tried to shake his hand off of me but he wouldn't budge. I whirled around and snarled at him. "What do you mean 'why'? Didn't you just say that you wanted to forget?!" He jumped as I snarled at him, looking somewhat taken aback at my words. But then, slowly, as if realizing, he started to relax. "Ren-." He sighed, "Let me finish. That wasn't what I meant." He carefully drew closer. " What I meant was, that at one point I did want to forget. I didn't want to remember. I did want to be able to recall how you used to look at me or how close we used to sit. I didn't want to remember how we used to laugh and play, or how you used to say my name as if it brought you nothing but bliss. And of course, I didn't want to remember that day, cause I didn't want to remember that kiss." He gently tucked a few stray strands of hair behind my ear. "Our kiss." I turned around at his words, but his hand didn't return to his side. I didn't mind though, my mind was gone. There was just something about the way he said 'Our kiss'. His hand gently cupped my cheek. "I loved that kiss." He breathed, inching his face closer to mine, and he continued, until our noses brushed, but by then his eyes had darkened, and it was by some miracle that my arms hadn't found their way around his neck. "You loved it?" I asked dumbly. He nodded, his eyes damn near glued to mine. I couldn't help but respect him more for that. Most men in this type of situation would stare at a girls lips, not her face. "Choji I-." "I still love that kiss." He said cutting me off again. But this time his hands rested on my hips And pulled me close. We both blushed. "Choji... But then why?"
He only said one name.
"Shino."
My eyes widened for a split second, before dropping my gaze. "Oh."
I made a move to step away from him, but his grip tightened. "Ren?" "I saw Shino on my way here." I murmured quietly, hoping to god that this wouldn't change Choji's mind. I could feel Choji tremble slightly at my words. "D-did he-?" "He kissed me." I said when he wouldn't continue. Choji released me. "I'm sorry." He said quietly, "I- I didn't know that you two were-." "Please don't be stupid Choji." I said before I could stop myself. He looked at me as if he wasn't quite expecting that. "Shino and I, we're not even friends anymore, you know that." "But you-." "He kissed me." I snapped, him cutting him off. "Why the hell would I kiss him?!" "Because." He said carefully, "You did last time." His words hit me hard. I stumbled backwards. Choji I-." "I think that maybe you were right, I should go." "No!" I latched onto his arm so quick, I surprised even myself. "Please don't." I begged. "Please, let me explain. It's my turn to explain." I desperately tugged on arm, tears threatening to spill at any moment. What has gotten into me? I felt Choji's hand on my head. "Ren, calm down it's alright." I quickly shook my head, tears already falling. "No it's not alright." I damn near sobbed. "It's because of this stupid misunderstanding that I've lost you." I managed to choke out. I buried my face in his arm. " I didn't mean for that to happen. I didn't plan it, I didn't want it, but it just-. And I just-." I swiftly tried to wipe a tear away from my eye, but Choji beat me to the punch. Tenderly holding my chin between his thumb and finger, he was oh so gentle about wiping away some of my tears. "Ren, what do you mean you have lost me?" I looked up at him, my brown eyes peering into his black ones. "What do you mean 'what do you mean'?" I asked, taking in shuddering breaths. I wasn't used to crying. He ran one of his hands through my hair. "You said you have lost me, but I don't really understand. I'm right here." More tears began to spill as I answered his question. "You aren't mine any more Choji. You're not my Choji. We don't talk the way we used to. We don't act the way we used to. There was a time when we made sure to see each other everyday, but now, I feel like you take the longer, harder missions just so that you don't have to see me. Everything is awkward now, nothing's the same as before." "But Ren-." "I know." I said sulkingly. "Nothing remains the same forever, but that isn't the real problem. I wanted things to change for the better, but somehow they've ended up changing for the worst." I fisted his sleeve. "I-, I had often hoped back then, when we were still kids, that things between us would change, that the relationship between you and I would change. But I hadn't meant like this." Choji''s hand fell from my hair, and I could feel his eyes on me. "Then what did you mean?" I felt myself blush heavily. "I-... I don't think I can say." "And why not?" He pressed. I felt myself blush even harder. " I don't think I'm ready." I mumbled. "It's kind of hard to say." His hands fell to my waist. "Why?" "Because, I wasn't expecting to see you." He studied me carefully. "Ren, are you hiding something from me?" I instantly dropped my gaze. "N-not really." I answered softly. He peered down at me, his gaze almost overbearing. "Does it have something to do with me?" He asked carefully. I hesitated, but eventually nodded softly. He seemed to pause for a second. "Does it have anything to do with Shino?" I quickly shook my head no, nearly breaking my neck. I peered up at him warmly. "I-it's nothing bad, I swear... At least to me it's not..." I said squeezing his arm. "Look. It's nothing you should feel you should worry about. I promise." I said releasing him. "It's just me... doing some wishful thinking is all." I could still feel his gaze on me, and I blushed. It felt so hot, almost like it was burning into my skin. I shivered involuntarily. "Are you cold." He asked, reaching out towards me. I couldn't help but smile as I noticed that both his voice and facial expression was laced with concern. I nodded, even though it couldn't have been farther from the truth. He pulled me back towards him and I sighed I felt his muscles and fat against me for the first time in a very long time. He rested his chin on my head. "I'm sorry." He said. "I shouldn't be keeping you up so late. Of course you'd be cold." He began rubbing my arms up and down, reminding me once again of one of our childhood memories. But in this one we were both five, and it was snowing that day, unlike tonight. I stared at Choji's chest longingly. "It was also the first time you had ever held me." His hands froze. "It seems you remember a lot of things." I couldn't help but smile bitterly. "But of course. Who would want to forget?." His hold tightened. "I didn't think that you would care..." He mumbled. Then he squeezed me. "You had ran away from me so fast. And then you wouldn't talk to me, avoiding me every chance you got." I could hear the hurt in his voice. "How was I supposed to feel?" How was I supposed to know? I squeezed him back. "You-." I swallowed. "You never showed up." I said, my voice wavering. "I avoided you, because you never showed up. How was I supposed to know that you still cared for me when you were never there? I thought-!" My voice cracked. "I had begun to think that you were the one avoiding me." I began to tremble, trying so hard not to cry. "How do you think I felt?" I said, gazing up at him. He tried to wipe away the tears from my eyes, but I wouldn't let him. I knew I was being unfair, but I needed him to understand. "How else was I supposed to feel without you by my side?" He looked stunned. "Ren..." "Back then I had been waiting for you, but you never showed, only Shino. I tried to make excuses as to why you weren't there, but none of them made any sense." I stared at his chest. "Then, the only one that did seem to hold any truth in it was the one were I thought that you had had enough." I turned my head away. I couldn't bear it. "I had thought that that was your way of saying it was over." I took a deep breath. "That we were over." "So stupid." I felt his hand on my cheek. "The two of us I mean." He said with a light smile, then he frowned, mumbling something inaudible. I watched him closely as he began to get lost in thought. Then out of the blue. "I'm off tomorrow." He just about chirped. I couldn't help but give him a confused look. "G-good for you?" He chuckled, as if realizing why I seemed so confused. "I was thinking." He said carefully, "That maybe now would be a good time to start all over. That maybe now we could start to see each other again." I looked at him dumbfounded. "A-are you sure?" I asked, trying to keep the hopefulness out of my voice. He nodded, then, he did something I'd never expect him to do in a million years. My legs damn near buckled on me as he pressed his lips against my forehead. "C-Choji?!" "I wanted things to change too." He said. "I had wanted things to change for the better, and now seems to be my chance." He gently cupped my cheeks with both hands, then brought his lips down on top of mine for a quick peck. But that was all I needed. My legs gave way. He caught me. "So does dinner sound good?"
Author'sNotes: I don't even know what say... That chapter was too much, even for me. Ironic isn't it? Please, please, please review, cause I don't know where to go after this chapter.
P.S- that thing Choji mumbled was, "Three years wasted over a misunderstanding."