Chapter 14
It was almost a week before Sirius managed to get the important members of the Order together for a meeting about Harry potentially joining. Kingsley was overrun at work, as were most of the other members that worked at the Ministry. Sirius said that Dumbledore wasn't available, but Harry wasn't sure if Sirius had even contacted him in the first place. The both of them were still rather mistrustful of the headmaster, and Harry knew perfectly well that Dumbledore would probably do as much as he could to stop Harry joining.
Harry would be lying if he said he wasn't anxious about the meeting. Convincing Sirius had been difficult enough, and he was biased. The other members of the Order would take a very serious approach to this, and Harry could only hope that they would hear him out, and that he would be able to put forward a decent argument. Having Sirius on his side could be very helpful, and he really hoped that Remus would help him out too.
Things were still a bit strained with Remus, although they'd talked about the situation after he'd had a chance to cool off, and Remus had reluctantly agreed that Harry and Sirius were good for each other. It would take a bit of time for him to come around completely, but Harry really hoped that he would at least look past this for now and objectively put his opinion forward in Harry's favour. After all, Remus knew perfectly well what Harry had been through, and hopefully would respect his decision to join the prodigious Order of the Phoenix.
Harry sat at the kitchen table, anxiously awaiting the arrival of the Order members Sirius had managed to contact. His heart was racing slightly faster than usual, and his palms were sweaty. Talking in front of people had never been something that came easily to him, and this was something really important. He just hoped that he would be able to say the right words when everyone was sitting there, looking at him. Sirius, who was sitting next to him at the table, seemed to notice Harry's nerves. Squeezing his hand under the table, he gave Harry a comforting smile.
The front door opened loudly, luckily not loud enough to wake up the portrait in the hall, and voices drew nearer to the kitchen. Harry sat up straighter and stared at the door, and a moment later Remus entered, followed by Tonks, and finally Kingsley Shacklebolt. Harry had barely time to greet them before the front door opened again. This time Mad Eye Moody walked in, and sat at the kitchen table with the rest after giving Harry a suspicious glare and a growled acknowledgment. Finally, the door opened one last time and Molly Weasley bustled into the room. Harry sighed, wondering why Sirius would even ask her to come.
He glanced at Sirius to see his reaction, and was pleased to see that he looked just as annoyed as Harry felt. There was a scowl on his face, which he wiped quickly when Molly looked his way. The look on Sirius' face suggested that it hadn't been him that contacted Molly, and Harry noticed Sirius looking suspiciously at Remus who carefully avoided his gaze. The Order members congregated around the table, taking seats after quickly greeting each other.
Sitting around the table, the members of the Order were staring at Harry with expressions ranging from undisguised curiosity to outright suspicion. Harry fidgeted nervously and looked at Sirius, hoping he would talk to them first and give Harry time to think. Sirius smiled at him and squeezed his hand once more under the table, then cleared his throat. Everyone's attention turned to him, and Harry breathed a sigh of relief while he desperately tried to remember all the reasons that he felt he should join the Order.
"Okay everyone, I'm sure you're all wondering why you're here," Sirius began. "Harry has something he wants to ask everyone, so all I ask is that you listen to him and give him a chance to say everything he needs to say before you offer your opinions." He looked specifically at Molly as he said this, clearly expecting her to want to butt in. As Sirius stopped talking, everyone's attention turned back to Harry and he felt his face redden, suddenly wishing he had a glass of water to moisten his dry mouth.
"Er, thanks for coming, everyone," Harry began awkwardly, feeling his face become redder. He deliberately avoided looking anyone in the eye, instead delivering his speech to the table. "Well, the reason I wanted you all to come here today is because…because I want to join the Order of the Phoenix."
He saw the looks of apprehension on everyone's faces, and quickly soldiered on. "Please, hear me out before you all disagree with me. I believe that I have every right to join the Order. For a start, Voldemort has targeted me since I was a baby. He's tried to kill me so many times, and he killed my parents, so if there's anyone here more dedicated to bringing him down than me, I'll be surprised."
Harry glared at everyone sitting around the table, gaining confidence when he saw the shocked expressions on some of their faces. "Not only that, but since I saw him come back to full power back in June, with my own eyes, I think that I could actually have some important information about Voldemort if someone bothered to ask me about it. I'm not asking to go out there and fight, but I think that I've at least earned the right to be able to sit in meetings and hear information, to give my opinion on things and do my best to help bring the bastard down."
Harry stopped talking, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. He hadn't meant to swear at the end there, but it seemed to have made everyone stop and think. The silence in the room was deafening as everyone let Harry's words sink in. Most people looked like they were giving serious thought to Harry's words, but there was one person in particular who stood out with her look of polite incredulity.
"Harry, dear," Molly began in a motherly tone, "do you really think it's wise to involve yourself in this? You're only a child, you haven't even finished school." She sounded as if she was trying to be helpful, but Harry found her tone patronising and irritating.
"I may be young, Molly, but I'm not a child anymore," he started angrily, trying to keep his voice even, "I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop patronising me. This isn't a childish decision, I've put thought into it and I would really appreciate it if you'd at least give it serious consideration." Harry inwardly smirked at the shocked and offended look on Molly's face. To his relief, no one else around the table seemed to be as quick to discount him as Molly was.
Before Molly could speak again, Remus cleared his throat and spoke in his calm, quiet voice, "Harry does have a point, Molly," he said somewhat sternly, and Harry felt hope spring in his chest, "he's been through a lot in his life and he can't really be called a child anymore. He's more emotionally mature than a lot of people twice his age." This was met by a few nods from people around the table, and Harry smiled slightly. At least if he could convince everyone apart from Molly then they could outnumber her.
"Thank you, Remus," Harry smiled gratefully at him and received a small smile in return.
Kingsley was the next person to speak up, in his deep, measured voice, "I can understand how important this is to you, and I don't doubt your maturity levels, but would you be able to resist the urge to ignore orders and leave headquarters if something serious happened? Can we trust you to protect yourself and stay safe?"
Kingsley's face was serious, and Harry let his words sink in before formulating an answer. It was a fair question to ask, it was well known that Harry usually let his heart rule his head. Like Sirius he had been known to be reckless, and he wasn't surprised that people were hesitant to trust the two of them together. However, he felt that he had grown up enough to be able to control his actions more now, he knew that it was important to keep himself safe.
"I see why you'd question that, Kingsley," Harry said, feeling nervous in case he messed his words up, "I know that I've been reckless and irresponsible in the past. However, I've grown up a lot now and I know that I'm perfectly capable of following rules and keeping myself safe when necessary."
"Oh really? What about that time not so long ago when you and Sirius left the house and gallivanted off to the park while everyone else was out?" Molly asked defiantly, giving Harry a smug look. Harry's face reddened and he struggled to think of something to say.
"Er, well, I already promised that it won't happen again. You know I regret it," Harry muttered, hating Molly for making him look stupid. He'd almost forgotten that amazing morning he'd spent with Sirius in the park while everyone else had been going off to Hogwarts. He'd almost kissed Sirius as they'd sat next to the river, and then he'd panicked…but now wasn't the time to reminisce, it was imperative that he kept his wits about him and managed to give a decent argument against Molly if he wanted everyone else to take him seriously.
"That wasn't Harry's idea anyway, that was mine," Sirius spoke up unexpectedly, "we all know I've done stupid things in the past, but don't let it change your mind about Harry. He's got a mature, intelligent attitude and he's a damn sight more controlled than I am. I trust him to listen to any orders he's given, and I know for a fact that if he's given the privilege of joining meetings then he'll be happy with that and he won't feel the need to break out and do anything stupid."
Harry looked at Sirius in shock for a moment, knowing for a fact that it was indeed himself, not Sirius, which had come up with the idea of sneaking out back in September. Sirius was covering for him, and arguing a very good point at the same time. Harry grinned widely at him, feeling a rush of affection for the older man, and Sirius grinned back at him.
"Fair enough," Kingsley said simply, giving Harry a searching look. "I think I can trust you, Harry, but what does everyone else think? Alastor?" Kingsley turned to Mad Eye Moody, who had been so far silent throughout the meeting. His expression was inscrutable, and Harry was slightly worried about his opinion. Moody was usually suspicious of everyone and everything and if there was anyone here that wouldn't trust Harry, it would probably be him. Harry was pleasantly surprised, however by Moody's response.
"If you feel that you're up to the job, Potter, then that's your decision. I've heard enough to believe that you have a sensible head on your shoulders, but know that if you put a toe out of line, if you jeopardise the secrecy of the Order, or endanger the lives of any member with stupidity or recklessness, then you'll feel the…displeasure…of myself and my colleagues, do I make myself clear?" Moody growled this at Harry in his rough voice, his scarred face showing a look of intimidation. Harry gulped, knowing that Moody meant business.
"Yes, I understand," Harry said quickly. He let out a shaky breath, pleased that both Kingsley and Moody, the two senior and most powerful members in this room, seemed to have put their trust in him.
"What do you think, Tonks?" Remus asked her with a small smile. She was the only person not to have spoken yet, which was unusual for her. She blushed slightly as she looked at Remus, and Sirius rolled his eyes with a grin.
"I'm with Harry all the way. I reckon he'd be great in the Order," she grinned at Harry. She was probably feeling particularly happy towards Harry after their conversation the other day had resulted in her finally getting together with Remus. Harry was happy for the two of them, and also happy that Tonks trusted him enough to join the Order too.
"Well, it appears that everyone at this table is in agreement apart from you, Molly." Kingsley spoke quietly and everyone at the table turned to stare at the slightly apprehensive redhead. She squared her shoulders and sat up straighter in her chair, a defiant expression forming on her face. Harry sighed, knowing that she wasn't going to give up that easily.
"It's not just about my opinion, Kingsley, or the opinion of everyone else here. Dumbledore simply won't allow this to happen."
"Since when is it Dumbledore's decision? This is my life, not his, and if everyone else here supports me and agrees with me then why shouldn't Dumbledore let me join?" Harry retorted angrily. He should have known that Molly would bring the meddling headmaster into this. It was for the greater good, Harry appreciated this, but he still didn't think that Dumbledore should control his every move.
"He's only thinking about your safety, Harry, as am I," Molly said gently, trying to convince Harry that she was only trying to mother him.
"My safety? That's very noble of him, but as we've already established, I'm perfectly safe in Grimmauld place, and I have no intention of leaving here again," Harry said coldly.
"We get it, you worry about him," Sirius said to Molly exasperatedly, "but that doesn't mean that either you or Dumbledore gets to control his every move. Everyone else here agrees that Harry joining the Order is a good idea, therefore I think we should overrule you and make it official. What does everyone else say to that?" Sirius' voice was loud and commanding, and everyone looked at him seriously. Harry's heart raced suddenly, feeling the tension in the room rise to breaking point.
"I say that we let Harry join from now on, and hear Dumbledore's opinion on the matter when he's next available. He's rarely at meetings now that the Hogwarts term has started, and it really doesn't affect him much either way if Harry is here or not." Kingsley's voice was confident and authoritative, and his statement was met with murmurs of agreement and nods of the head.
"I second that." Moody growled his agreement, and he was shortly followed by Remus, Tonks, and an enthusiastic Sirius. Molly stayed silent, scowling in the corner, but it didn't matter at this stage. She was overruled, and there was nothing she could do about it.
"Alright then, I officially declare Harry James Potter as a member of the Order of the Phoenix. If you could sign this document, Harry," Kingsley handed Harry an official looking piece of parchment. He scanned it quickly, seeing that it was a Document of Secrecy. He signed it with the quill and ink that was thrust at him, and he briefly felt a warm shiver run through him as the magic took effect.
"Thanks, Harry," Kingsley said, collecting the document and Vanishing it with a tap of his wand.
"Now if you speak a secret that you've learned from an Order member to someone who is outside the Order, and it is seen as a betrayal, you and everyone else in the Order will know about it, you can trust me on that." Moody sounded threatening, and Harry wondered what terrible fate would befall him if he spoke Order secrets to anyone.
"You can trust me." Harry looked directly into Moody's uneven eyes, and Moody seemed pleased with his response. The meeting seemed to be over now, as people began to stand up and gather their belongings together.
"We'll be seeing you shortly, Harry. There's a meeting planned for next week, Sirius will tell you the details when they become more solid," Kingsley said, holding out his hand for Harry to shake. Harry shook it firmly and smiled at Kingsley, saying his goodbyes to him and everyone else in the room. Everyone filed out of the kitchen, then out of the front door, disapparating when they reached the end of the street and disappearing into the night. Remus left with the others, he had been spending most of his time away from Grimmauld place since he'd got together with Tonks. Harry wasn't complaining, it gave him much more free time to spend with Sirius.
"Well done Harry, you did really well this evening," Sirius smiled warmly at Harry, that beautiful smile sending shivers down Harry's spine.
"Thanks Padfoot. It was all down to you really, though, you saved me from Molly's annoying arguments."
"That woman really needs to learn to leave you alone and stop acting like Dumbledore's lapdog," Sirius growled angrily. Harry chuckled, he couldn't agree more with that statement.
"Definitely. Let's not worry about that now, though. We have the rest of the evening to ourselves…" Harry trailed off, stepping closer to Sirius and looking up at him suggestively. He was in a very good mood now, adrenaline still rushing through him from the nervousness of earlier, and the rush he'd got from actually being accepted into the Order. Now he was alone with Sirius at last, he couldn't get the handsome older man out of his head.
Sirius looked down at him, guessing exactly what Harry was hinting at. He smirked, a glint in his silvery grey eyes, and Harry was left breathless once again by how gorgeous the man was. Sirius moved his face closer to Harry's, and Harry felt his pulse racing, his eyes flickered shut and he moaned involuntarily as he felt his godfather's lips pressing softly along the curve of his jaw. He turned and captured Sirius' lips in a searing kiss, running his hands through the older man's unruly hair and deepening the kiss, savouring the taste, the sensation of Sirius' warm body pressing insistently against his own.
They moved slowly towards the stairs, stopping every few steps to kiss. Harry couldn't get enough of Sirius tonight, and his excitement was starting to make itself known in a particularly prominent way. He thought briefly about going further with Sirius than he had before, they'd only kissed so far, this thought made his heart race faster and his palms sweat. Eventually they made it to the bedroom and collapsed onto their bed together, Sirius straddling Harry and pressing their bodies together again. They kissed passionately, Sirius' thigh pressing against Harry's obvious excitement, and Harry distinctly heard him left out an almost animalistic growl of anticipation.
After a little while of this, Harry was breathing heavily and gently grinding himself on Sirius' perfect body, Sirius returning the favour. Harry began to feel slightly light headed, but not in a good way. He felt…strange. A weird feeling was overtaking him, and he pulled away from Sirius for a moment, shaking his head and frowning in confusion. Something didn't feel right. Sirius looked at him, his face flushed and eyes bright with excitement, but soon turning to concern as he took in Harry's expression.
"Harry? Are you okay?" Sirius asked him anxiously.
"I don't know…" Harry said, and he began prop himself up on his elbows when suddenly a massive pain erupted in his scar, and he shut his eyes against the pain, curling up in a ball and screaming out loud involuntarily. He forgot who he was, where he was, what was happening, for an indeterminate amount of time he knew only pain. Eventually it began to recede, he breathed out in short pants and tried to open his eyes, feeling a splitting headache taking hold. Blearily, he managed to opened his eyes and come to his senses enough to see that Sirius was standing over him, looking terrified and shouting his name.
"Harry! Harry, talk to me, please, Harry!" Sirius sounded almost hysterical.
"I'm alright, Sirius," Harry whispered, wincing as the small movement of talking made his head hurt more.
"Oh Merlin, Harry, what happened? Was it your scar?" Sirius spoke softly, obviously trying to calm himself down.
"Yeah. I can't remember ever feeling it hurt that much before," Harry said quietly. "I think Voldemort is extremely angry about something."
"How do you know?" Sirius asked quickly.
"I get pain in my scar when he's feeling powerful emotions. I've never felt anything like that before, but it sure felt like anger to me," Harry said gingerly. He didn't have a clue about what could have made Voldemort that angry, but he was sure he'd find out soon enough. Sighing, Harry climbed under the duvet and lay back, wishing that Voldemort could have waited just a little bit longer before getting so angry. His evening with Sirius had been ruined, now he just wanted to go to sleep and get rid of this horrible headache. His scar was still twinging every now and then, and it was incredibly irritating. He saw Sirius settle down in bed next to him, and gave him a tired smile. They snuggled closer to each other, enjoying the warmth and the safety. It thankfully didn't take long for Harry to doze off, and he slipped into the painless comfort of sleep.
Harry tossed and turned, struggling to get out of the nightmare that was holding him down. He saw flashes of red, he heard someone screaming as if they were being tortured, but saw nothing solid enough to know what was happening. A high, cold laugh erupted from his mouth and he woke suddenly, gasping for air, seeing a worried Sirius sitting next to him in the bed.
"Another nightmare?" Sirius asked him gently. He'd seen Harry wake from them many times, although the nightmares happened a lot less often now that Harry was sharing a room with Sirius.
"Yeah, but it was different this time. Usually I'm running down corridors, or feeling terrified of something that I can't put my finger on. This time something was happening, someone was being attacked, and I think…I think I might have been seeing it from Voldemort's point of view," Harry said quietly. "At the end, I could hear myself laughing in Voldemort's voice, and I felt as if it was me that attacked those people." Harry felt cold and sweaty, his voice uneven. He raised his hands up to his face and realised he was shaking. Whatever it was that had made Voldemort so angry last night, Harry was almost sure he'd just seen glimpses of it in his dreams.
Hope you enjoyed that, sorry for the wait! I've been working, and I had a bit of writers block but I'm back now :) please please leave a review, they never fail to make me very happy! x