A/N: I am so, so sorry. I can't believe it's been so long since I updated! I promise I will never give up on this story, I am determined to see it through to the end. Here's a super long chapter for you and I will try not to leave it for so long until the next one! Enjoy :) (oh and in case of confusion, yes I changed my username!)
Chapter 18
Harry stood at the window, looking out at the dismal view of the square outside Grimmauld Place. Heavy grey clouds tainted the sky, creating a dark overcast tone, and white flakes of snow fell lightly from the sky. Snow should be happy, Harry thought to himself, it should signal the Christmas season and incite excitement and festivity, however all it managed to do was create a grey sludge on the pavements. The world outside mirrored the melancholic mood within the house. With Mr Weasley in the hospital still, having been gravely injured several days before, the house was mostly full of an almost oppressive silence.
Harry turned, looking instead at the room he was standing in. It was Sirius's mother's old bedroom, and it was now being lived in by Buckbeak the hippogriff. Harry felt like he'd been neglecting poor Buckbeak, he'd been so mixed up in his feelings for Sirius, and the mounting pressure from Voldemort being back, that he'd completely forgotten the hippogriff was even living there. He had offered to feed Buckbeak for Sirius so that he could go and visit the creature, and he threw the last dead ferret for the hippogriff to catch, idly wishing that it was the ferret version of Malfoy that Buckbeak was presently crunching to pieces. Harry walked closer to Buckbeak, being sure to keep eye contact and reminding him what a handsome beast he was. The hippogriff bowed his head in acknowledgement, and walked closer so that Harry could pet him. He absent-mindedly stroked the soft feathers on his neck, sighing as he wished that he could be with Sirius right now. The man was being coddled by Molly at the moment, who was paying even more attention to everyone than usual while Arthur was in the hospital.
Mrs Weasley had visited Arthur at St Mungos daily since the night of the attack, and she kept everyone up to date on his condition. It still seemed to be touch and go at the moment, although the healers were optimistic that he would make a full recovery if he managed to respond to their treatments. The Weasleys mostly spent their time sitting around in groups, barely talking, with worried expressions marring their faces.
Occasionally, Order members would pop in and out of headquarters, however they were all just as grim faced as the Weasleys. Arthur had, after all, been on duty for the Order when he had been attacked. It was a grim time, and felt all the more depressing to Harry because he couldn't spend all his time alone with Sirius, or they would risk everyone else finding out about their relationship. Harry sighed, trudging up the stairs to his old bedroom where he was now forced to sleep again.
Harry slept fitfully that night. The nightmares that had lessened while he slept next to Sirius had come back with a vengeance now, and he tossed and turned as cryptic images smothered his mind. He saw the writhing image of a snake, which instilled in him a deep sense of dread. There was something not right about this snake, he looked into its eyes and it almost seemed to have some kind of intelligence as it stared back at him. The giant black snake twisted and turned, and Harry began to feel as if he was being constricted, his chest felt tight, he couldn't breathe properly. Moments later he woke with a start and shot upright, chest heaving, trying to catch his breath. Exhausted despite sleeping all night, Harry flopped back down onto the mattress, feeling a cold sweat all over him. He hoped his day was going to get better from this point.
Later that day Molly came home from St Mungos with a much brighter expression on her face. "The Healers have finally managed to find a way to stop the bleeding! Whatever snake it was had extremely dangerous venom in its fangs. Arthur is sitting up and reading the newspaper, and he says he's feeling much better!" Her voice rose to a screech as she excitedly passed the news on to anyone that could hear her, which was essentially everyone within a 10 mile radius. The Weasley children all gathered excitedly around her, clamouring to ask questions and gain assurance that their father was definitely on the mend.
Harry smiled to himself, staying on the sidelines to give the family some space. He caught Sirius's eye across the room and smiled at him softly, feeling the heat in the room rise several degrees when the older man responded with his trademark sexy grin. Harry wished so hard that he could just cross the room and kiss Sirius right there in front of everyone, to have them accept the two of them and be happy for them. Sadly, that could never and would never happen. What they had was perfect for the two of them, but sleeping with your godfather wasn't exactly acceptable in society.
Over the course of the next few days, the mood in Grimmauld place lightened considerably. Christmas decorations were put up all around the house, somehow managing to make the dreary old place look festive. The snow started to fall in earnest outside, and Harry had to admit that it really did look Christmassy now. They had all been to visit Arthur at St Mungos, and it was clear to see that he was on the mend. He would hopefully be home within a few days, and would therefore be home in time for Christmas. Sirius had welcomed everyone to stay for the remainder of the holidays, considering how much closer Grimmauld place was to the hospital, and the house was full of laughter and Christmas carols.
Despite everyone else's happy moods, Harry couldn't help but continue to mope around the place. He had been sleeping badly, his cold bed in his old bedroom feeling far too empty without Sirius next to him to keep him warm and safe. Not to mention, they had pretty much no chances whatsoever to be alone together during the day. Every time Harry managed to corner Sirius alone somewhere, moments later Fred and George would barge in, or Mrs Weasley would come looking for Harry to come help him with some Christmas decoration. It was really starting to get on his nerves, and he was getting more and more irritable.
Ron and Hermione had been doing their best to help them out, seeing as they were the only other people in the house that knew about Harry and Sirius's relationship. There was only so much they could do, however, as Mrs Weasley kept trying to keep them busy as well. Short of literally guarding the door and not allowing anyone else to get in, which may be rather suspicious, there wasn't a lot that the two of them could do to help.
Later that day, one of those rare moments arose where Harry had managed to find himself alone in a room with Sirius. They sat together on a small couch in the library, Harry snuggled up to Sirius, his head resting on the older man's chest. He had really missed the little moments like these where they could just enjoy each other's company without being judged. Harry sat up a little straighter, gently resting a hand on Sirius's face and bringing their lips together in a soft kiss.
Smiling against Harry's lips, Sirius pulled the two of them closer together so that Harry was straddling Sirius's hips. He deepened the kiss, moaning slightly when Harry raked his teeth lightly along the older man's tongue. They stayed in this position for a while, enjoying the rare opportunity to let off some steam. After a little while Sirius pulled away, albeit slightly reluctantly. Harry made a small noise of protest and moved forwards to lightly kiss and nibble Sirius's jawline, determined to carry on. Sirius smirked at him, laying his hands gently on Harry's face and pushing him back slightly so they could look into each other's eyes.
"Much as I'd like to sit here and kiss you all day, I do actually have something I wanted to show you," Sirius said softly, his voice like melted caramel. Harry looked at him through half-lidded eyes.
"Oh really? What would that be, then?" he asked languidly, a crooked smile slowly forming on his face.
"I'll show you if you sit next to me properly and promise not to get distracted," Sirius smirked at him, looking pointedly at Harry's wandering hands which were currently under Sirius's shirt, rubbing circles on his lower back.
"Fine," Harry pouted, climbing off of Sirius's lap and sitting next to him on the couch. Sirius pulled something out of his pocket, and Harry leaned forwards, curiosity piqued. "What's that?" he asked eagerly. It seemed to be old photos of some kind.
"I found these stuffed in the back of an old set of drawers, my parents must have hidden them away out of sight and forgotten to burn them with all of my other stuff that mysteriously disappeared after I ran away from home. They're old photos of James and Lily. I thought you might like to see them."
Sirius handed them to Harry gently, who took them with a shaking hand. The only photos he'd seen of his parents were the ones in the photo album that Hagrid had gifted to him in his first year at Hogwarts. He had looked through that album so many times that some of the pages were almost starting to fall out, and he had always longed to see more photos of them, to know more about them. What were they like as people? What hobbies did they have, were there any family pets? All of these thoughts rushed through Harry's mind as he sat holding the small pile of photographs. He turned them over, a small smile immediately tugging at the corners of his mouth as he took in the first photo.
James and Lily were standing in what appeared to be a park, autumn leaves were falling around them and their faces radiated joy. Lily was holding out her hand to the camera, excitedly showing off a glittering engagement ring on her finger, and James was looking at her with an expression of sheer pride and happiness. Harry grinned down at the photograph, absent mindedly wiping a tear from his face. Squeezing his hand tightly, Sirius smiled softly at him and encouraged him to look at the next photo.
With shaking hands, Harry looked through the photos. The next one showed Lily in a beautiful wedding dress and veil, her emerald green eyes shining with tears as she looked into James' equally damp eyes. He was wearing a smart black tuxedo, and they held hands at the altar of a church. Harry noticed a much younger Sirius standing to the side, the best man at the wedding. Smiling at the man by his side, Harry continued looking through the stack of memories. James and Lily on holiday somewhere tropical, sipping cocktails. The two of them laughing together with the Marauders, sadly unknowing of the future traitor in their midst. Lily looking radiantly happy, hands gently resting on a prominent baby bump as she sat at home with her feet up. Baby Harry in his fathers arms, a tiny fist wrapped around James' finger. He looked about a year old in that photo and Harry's heart sank as he realised James and Lily had died not long after that photo was taken. They had been so happy together, had a chance at such a perfect life.
Sighing, Harry saw that there were no more photos. He handed them back to Sirius with a bitter sweet smile. "Thanks for showing me these, Sirius. It's nice to actually see them as people that really lived, rather than just a fading memory."
The older man took the photos back and placed them on the couch next to him, pulling Harry into a tight hug. Harry didn't fail to notice the wetness in Sirius' eyes, and the two of them sniffled as they took comfort in each other. "You're most welcome, Harry," Sirius whispered roughly in his ear. Harry shivered, enjoying the feeling of warmth that shot through him, the frisson of excitement that immediately sparked in his stomach. Pulling back slightly, he gazed into Sirius' stormy grey eyes, mere millimetres separating their faces. Harry felt himself lightly flush as he lost himself in the older man's gaze. Leaning closer, Harry licked his lips in preparation for the long awaited kiss, but seconds before he could make contact the door banged open and they shot apart, the open door bringing in an icy cold blast of reality. Harry scowled towards the door, seeing a hesitant and seemingly very apologetic Hermione hovering in the doorway.
"I'm really sorry to interrupt, boys, but Mrs Weasley said to fetch you for dinner. Well, she actually told Ginny to do it but I volunteered instead, just in case..." she tailed off awkwardly, and Harry sighed, getting to his feet. He knew it wasn't Hermione's fault but he was getting seriously frustrated. Ever since the others had come to stay he'd struggled to get as much as 5 minutes alone with Sirius at a time, and it was driving him insane. He stalked to the kitchen with a stony expression on his face, and he could tell without even looking at Sirius that he was just as moody.
The general mood at dinner was a happy one, following the recent news that Arthur would be returning home the next day, which happened to be Christmas Eve. Everyone was very relieved that he would be home for Christmas, and there were smiles all around, except for two very grumpy people. Harry barely spoke to anyone throughout the meal, picking at his chicken pie which he was sure would've been delicious, he simply had no appetite. He almost cracked a smile when he looked up and saw Sirius practically growling at a frightened Ginny who had only asked him to pass the butter.
Harry could feel someone's eyes trained on him throughout the entire meal, and when he glanced around he saw the magical eye of Moody staring suspiciously at him, his face speculative. Harry had no idea any Order members were visiting today, although it was normal for them to stay for dinner when they popped in, Mrs Weasley usually insisted. He wondered why Moody was paying such close attention to him, and when he glanced automatically at Sirius he saw that his godfather was keeping a close eye on the Auror too. Harry glanced furtively back at Moody only to see him staring directly at him with both eyes this time. The Auror raised a single eyebrow at him, and then deliberately glanced between Harry and Sirius with a knowing look in his eye. Harry's eyes widened at this, his heart began to race as he put two and two together. Moody must have seen the two of them through a wall when he passed by the library earlier on. Harry felt the colour drain from his face, and he almost felt as though he was going to be sick. With a mumbled excuse, Harry pushed his chair back and hurried from the room, ignoring the questioning looks from the Weasleys.
As Harry hurried down the hallway, he heard the unmistakeable clunk of Moody's foot on the wooden flooring, and he came to a halt. Letting out a shaky breath, he decided to just get this over with. He could only hope that Moody would be understanding, although that prospect seemed highly unlikely as he turned and saw the usual scowl on Mad Eye's ever-suspicious face.
"In here," Moody growled, pointing his cane at the door to the drawing room. Harry slowly walked towards the door, holding it open for Moody before taking a seat and looking intently at a random spot on the floor. He heard Moody limp across the room and sit down heavily in a chair opposite him, and he continued staring at the ground until Moody cleared his throat loudly. Harry's head shot up and he looked warily at the Auror's face. His gnarled expression gave away nothing.
"So," Mad Eye growled, his eyes narrowed. "I saw something rather interesting, before dinner. Looked through a wall into the library, and for a moment I thought my eye must be malfunctioning. Any ideas what I saw, Potter?" Moody asked in a carefully innocent voice. Harry cleared his throat nervously, his mouth suddenly very dry. He shook his head, not trusting himself to talk. "Funny that," Moody continued, "because I'm pretty sure I saw you in there. With your godfather," he said, his voice becoming quieter. "And you were busy doing something that I'm pretty sure isn't common practice between a godfather and his godson." Moody paused there, staring Harry directly in the eyes. Harry let his head drop into his hands, wishing a hole would just open up and swallow him right then and there. This conversation could not be happening right now. He stayed silent, wildly hoping that Moody would just give up and leave if he never replied. Sadly, that was not the case.
"Look, Potter, I can't help you if you don't talk. I need to know if I should go to Dumbledore with this information or not." Moody sounded exasperated, and Harry's head shot up immediately.
"No! You can't tell Dumbledore!" Harry said loudly, his cheeks going red as he realised that he had as good as admitted the truth. Well, there was no way around that, now that Moody had seen it with his own eye. He couldn't let the Auror tell Dumbledore, it would be a disaster, he would be sent back to live with the Dursleys and Sirius would be alone. Moody raised an eyebrow at him.
"Is Sirius pushing you into this?" Mad Eye said bluntly, his mismatched eyes boring into Harry's. Harry blushed further but he forced himself to answer, despite how awkward this conversation was.
"No, he isn't pushing me into anything," Harry said quietly, his voice hoarse. "If anything I had to convince him that I really wanted this," he stammered, trying to put his thoughts into words so that Moody would believe him. The Auror looked unconvinced, but then it was difficult to tell when his default expression was distrustful.
"Are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into, Potter? Black is your godfather, he's much older than you, and he's been cooped up in this house for months. I'm just saying that this might not be the best idea." Moody looked carefully at him, and Harry let out a small sigh of relief as he realised that Mad Eye was just concerned about him, and didn't seem to actually object too much to the situation. If he could just convince the man that he knew what he was doing, hopefully the Auror wouldn't feel the need to go to Dumbledore with his concerns.
"I've thought about this long and hard, and so has Sirius. We both tried to ignore how we felt about each other to start with, but that just didn't work. You may not believe me, because I'm young, but I believe that I'm in love with Sirius and he loves me too." Harry paused, nervously running his hand through his hair. He couldn't believe he was saying this out loud, and to Mad Eye Moody of all people. He soldiered on, voice wavering only slightly as he gained courage. "I know there's a large age gap between us, not to mention that he's my godfather, but we don't care about that. We didn't ask for this to happen, but somehow it did, and there's no going back now. I'm old enough to know what I'm doing, and I made up my mind a long time ago to follow my heart. Please, don't tell Dumbledore," Harry begged, "I think that this relationship is helping Sirius. It gives him something to live for, while he's cooped up here. He needs someone to help him through it. If everyone finds out, I'll be sent away from here and Sirius will be alone and I'm scared he'll do something stupid," Harry gasped, slightly out of breath from speaking so fast. He'd got slightly carried away trying to save Sirius and himself from Dumbledore's prying.
"Alright, lad, I get it," Moody said, rolling his eyes, but appearing to be considering Harry's words. "I think you're old enough to know what you're doing, so I'll let it go for now." Harry let out a sigh of relief, looking down at his hands which he realised had been clenched together tightly. He relaxed his hands and saw that he was shaking. "I was just concerned that you were being manipulated, whether deliberately or not, by a man who's desperate for company. I think you're right, though. This is good for him, and for you," Moody said gruffly, and Harry could hear the concern in his voice. He smiled at the man for the first time, feeling a flood of affection for him. Who knew that the scarred old man who had killed and imprisoned so many people had a soft side to him? Moody let him go with a promise not to speak a word of this discussion to anyone, and Harry quickly exited the room, almost crashing directly into Sirius who had been standing right outside the door, clearly trying to hear the conversation.
"What happened, what did he say?" Sirius asked quickly, and Harry motioned for the older man to follow him up the stairs. He walked to Sirius' bedroom and shut the two of them in there, casting a locking and silencing spell on the door for good measure. They really had to be careful, he had been lucky that Mad Eye was lenient, but if anyone else found out about them it could be very bad. They should be safe in here for a little while, although Harry knew that people would start to wonder where he was if he didn't show his face soon. Harry flopped down onto the bed, breathing another sigh of relief. He was joined by an anxious Sirius.
"Well? What happened, Harry?" Sirius pressed him, a hand tightly wrapped around his arm.
"Calm down, Sirius, Moody said he wouldn't tell anyone," Harry said, frowning slightly as his arm started to hurt. Sirius blinked as the words sunk in, and quickly pulled his hand back when he realised he was hurting Harry.
"Sorry," he said hastily, and Harry decided to let it slide, he didn't want to waste this precious alone time being annoyed at Sirius.
"He seemed pretty suspicious, and he wanted to make sure that I knew what I was doing and that you weren't pressuring me into anything," Harry smiled at him, wriggling closer on the bed so that they were curled up next to each other. He had really missed this room, with its astronomical ceiling and the comfortable bed that they shared together. Much as he liked the Weasleys, he couldn't wait until he could share this bed with Sirius again. The older man frowned at Harry's words.
"I would never pressure you into anything," he said forcefully, his stormy eyes indignant.
"I know you wouldn't, silly," Harry grinned at him, "and that's what I told Moody. I said that I know what I'm doing, and that this relationship is good for both of us. He seemed to agree with me, anyway, and he promised not to tell anyone, especially Dumbledore." Sirius looked relieved, and Harry couldn't help but try to kiss the worry away. He straddled Sirius's lap and pressed their lips together, smiling as Sirius growled possessively and pulled him closer, running his hands through Harry's unruly mop of hair.
Harry ran his hands over Sirius's chest, feeling heat radiating through his shirt, and wrapped his arms around his godfather's shoulders. They kissed passionately for a little while, Harry completely losing himself in the taste of Sirius's mouth, the feeling of their bodies wrapped together, and he subconsciously rocked his hips against Sirius's as they both became more excited about the situation. Harry let out a filthy moan as he felt Sirius's erection grinding against him through their clothes, and he was about to unzip Sirius's trousers and do something about it when there was a loud knock on the door.
"Sirius, are you in there? Do you know where Harry is?" The loud and intrusive voice of Fred or George came through the door, and Harry growled and swore loudly. He was glad they had put a silencing charm up, although he wished it blocked out the sounds from outside. Sirius scowled and pushed Harry off of him, stalking towards the door. He lifted the silencing charm and shouted back though the closed door.
"Nope, haven't seen him anywhere!" Sirius bellowed, arms crossed and a frown on his face. "Did you try the library?" A brief pause, and then whichever twin it was replied.
"No, good thinking, Sirius!" They shouted back, their voice already becoming distant as they moved off towards the library. Sirius groaned, walking back to the bed with a sour expression on his face.
"I suppose I should get out of here before I'm declared missing," Harry said morosely, dragging his feet as he walked towards the door where Sirius was still standing. The man still had an obvious bulge in his trousers and Harry eyed it lustfully. Surely it wouldn't matter if he was a few minutes later than planned? With a grin on his face, Harry dropped to his knees in front of the older man and roughly unzipped his trousers, pulling them down in one swoop along with his underwear. He looked up and winked at Sirius, laughing slightly at the stunned expression on his face, before leaning forwards and engulfing his erection in his mouth. The immediate reaction from his godfather, namely a sexy moan and hands fisted in his hair, spurred Harry on and he did his best to make the man come apart as quickly as possible. Within minutes Harry was successful, and he opened his eyes to look up at Sirius's face as he reached his climax, keeping his mouth firmly around his erection and swallowing down his release.
Sirius gave up on standing and slid down to lean against the wall, his legs too weak to hold him up. Harry grinned at the sight, then moaned as he realised he had a rather pressing problem to take care of himself. He was already close to the edge after sucking off Sirius, and it only took a few strokes to reach his own climax. He used a cleaning charm to fix them both up, and hastily tried to make himself look presentable and not as if he had just given his godfather a blow job. Sirius smiled weakly at him, beginning to reach normalcy again after riding out the after glow. They stood, helping each other up, and Sirius gave Harry a quick peck on the lips.
"Thanks for that, Harry. It's been far too long," Sirius smiled at him, pulling him close for one last hug. They reluctantly pulled apart and Harry slid out of Sirius's room, deciding to just head towards his bedroom and feign ignorance when people asked where he had been. Some people, mostly Hermione, looked at him suspiciously for a while, but she eventually seemed to let it go, and they went their separate ways to sleep.
Harry woke bright and early the next morning to the sound of Mrs Weasley loudly and enthusiastically making breakfast. Harry remembered that today was the day Mr Weasley would be coming home, and Mrs Weasley's exuberant mood began to make sense. Harry was in a much better mood than he had been for days, thanks to his little rendezvous with Sirius last night. It had been quick, but it was great to let out his sexual tension and he really enjoyed watching Sirius come apart in front of him. Harry grinned lazily to himself and felt a twitch in his underwear, but before he could do anything about it he was being summoned to breakfast by a lively Ron.
The day flew by, and before he knew it a flustered Mrs Weasley was hurrying off into London to pick up Arthur from St Mungos. She returned home with him quickly, and they had a large and extravagant dinner to celebrate him coming home. He seemed in good spirits, if slightly paler than usual, and was very happy to see everyone again. He thanked Harry several times for saving his life, and Harry told him time and again that he was just lucky. All in all it was a very festive Christmas Eve, and Harry was looking forward to Christmas day tomorrow. He and Sirius had already decided not to exchange gifts as neither of them was allowed out of the house to actually go shopping, but Harry intended to give Sirius a kiss under the mistletoe at whatever chance he got. Just being with the man on Christmas day was special enough for him. They partied the evening away in celebration, drinking lots of butterbeer and eggnog, and eating far too many mince pies, before staggering to bed around midnight. Harry lay in bed, feeling the child-like excitement begin to take him over, despite not believing in Santa Claus for years. He drifted off to sleep with thoughts of roast turkey and Christmas crackers in his head.
The next morning, Harry woke blearily and looked at his watch. It was still far too early for anyone else to be awake, although he listened out carefully just in case someone else had woken up early in the excitement of Christmas. When he was sure the coast was clear, Harry carefully slipped out of bed and padded silently across the room, pausing only briefly to snag a bunch of mistletoe from the top of the doorway. Heading up the stairs to the next floor, he opened Sirius's bedroom door as quietly as possible. He slid into the room, tiptoeing over to the bed, and gently shook Sirius awake. The man looked around blearily for a moment, before focusing on Harry.
"What time do you call this?" Sirius asked incredulously, glancing at the clock on his bedside table. Harry ignored him and slipped into bed next to the older man, dangling the mistletoe over his head while leaning close to him and kissing him happily on the lips.
"Merry Christmas, Sirius!" Harry whispered excitedly, and Sirius grinned back at him with his trademark lopsided grin.
"Merry Christmas, Harry," he whispered back, wrapping a warm arm around Harry's waist and pulling him closer for a cuddle. They stayed like that for a while, neither of them wanting to move, but eventually they had to get up. Harry reluctantly padded back to the bedroom he shared with Ron, after kissing Sirius one last time, and entered to find Ron just waking up.
"Where have you been?" Ron asked confusedly, his voice rough from sleep.
"Just went to say Happy Christmas to Sirius," Harry said lightly, deciding not to elaborate. Ron raised an eyebrow at him, probably knowing exactly what Harry wasn't telling him, but he chose not to press the matter further, for which Harry was grateful. "Anyway, Happy Christmas," Harry grinned at him, and Ron returned the sentiment before jumping out of bed.
"Presents!" Ron shouted, hurrying from the room while Harry followed at a more sedate pace, heading downstairs to where everyone had congregated in the living room. There was a huge pile of Christmas presents under the tree, and Harry sat down in a comfy arm chair to watch the present opening with a smile on his face. He didn't expect to receive anything himself as he hadn't been able to get anything for anyone, and he had told everyone specifically not to bother. It seemed no one had actually listened though, because Harry ended up with a knitted jumper and some home made fudge from Mrs Weasley, a box of chocolate frogs from Ron, a book on advanced defensive magic from Hermione, and a couple more boxes of sweets here and there from other Order members. Harry felt that he really didn't deserve any of this, but everyone told him to shush whenever he brought it up, so he reluctantly accepted his gifts.
It was with a smile on his face that he sat at the kitchen table at lunch, the huge Christmas feast laid out in front of them. Mrs Weasley had really surpassed herself with this meal, and Harry was pretty sure there was enough food here to feed 50 people for several days. They did their best at eating it all, anyway, and several hours later they were still all seated at the kitchen table, having eaten themselves into a stupor, listening to Christmas music on the magical wireless. Harry was sitting next to Sirius and he turned to give him a sleepy smile. Sirius gently grasped Harry's hand under the table and squeezed it, smiling back at him. They intertwined their fingers and stayed that way for a while, drifting in and out of the drowsy conversation.
Christmas Day and Boxing Day passed them by quickly in a haze of alcohol and too much food, and before they knew it, everything started getting back to normal. Harry found himself sitting in the drawing room playing wizard chess with Ron, as Hermione looked on with trepidation. He was just cheering on his knight who was taking out one of Ron's pawns, when Mrs Weasley popped her head around the door.
"Harry, dear, professor Snape is here to see you," she said, and Harry's heart seemed to stop for a moment.
"Snape?" He said, panicking. "Why does he want to see me?"
"Professor Snape, Harry. He didn't say. He's waiting for you in the kitchen," she said firmly, and walked back out of the room. Harry sat in stunned silence, his look of horror mirrored on Ron's face.
"What does Snape want with you?" Ron asked in a hushed voice, and Harry gulped.
"I guess I'd better find out," he answered in a hoarse voice, and walked slowly towards the kitchen. Why did Snape want to see him? Harry wasn't even at Hogwarts any more, what could the dungeon bat possibly want to speak to him about? Walking into the kitchen apprehensively, he was met with the sight of Snape and Sirius sitting opposite each other at the kitchen table, glaring daggers at each other. He awkwardly cleared his throat to announce his arrival, and Snape turned to look at him with a sneer on his face. Sirius narrowed his eyes dangerously.
"Potter, take a seat," Snape said icily, waving a hand towards the table.
"Excuse me, Snivellus, but I'd prefer it if you didn't tell people what to do in my own house," Sirius said loudly, his expression hardening even further. Harry nervously took a seat, glancing between the two men. He hoped Sirius would keep his composure, although that didn't seem likely at the moment.
"I was supposed to see you alone, Potter, but Black here felt it necessary to stick his nose in," Snape said silkily, his black eyes narrowed on Sirius's sneering face.
"I'm his godfather," Sirius said loudly.
Snape ignored him and turned his sour face towards Harry. "I've been sent on Dumbledore's orders to inform you that you are to begin taking Occlumency lessons."
"What lessons?" Harry asked nervously, and Snape looked at him derisively.
"Occlumency, Potter. The magical defence of the mind against external penetration."
Harry's heart began to race. If Dumbledore wanted him to learn to block his mind from external penetration, then that as good as confirmed that he was seeing into Voldemort's mind, and that Voldemort must be able to see into his. He gulped, wondering what this strange link between the two of them was. How was it that their minds had this strange bond? It made Harry feel sick to think his deepest thoughts might be open for Voldemort to view at his own leisure.
"Who's going to be teaching me?" Harry asked, fingers crossed beneath the table.
"I am," Snape said quietly with contempt, and Harry's heart sunk. He thought he'd escaped from Snape when he left Hogwarts, but it appeared he hadn't been so lucky.
"Why do you have to teach him?" Sirius exclaimed indignantly, "why can't Dumbledore do it himself?" Harry privately agreed with this sentiment.
"Because, Black, Dumbledore has better things to do than teach substandard little children that refuse to use their brains," Snape said waspishly, and Harry scowled along with Sirius at that. Sirius got to his feet angrily.
"Don't you dare speak about Harry like that!" Sirius snarled, and Snape got to his feet too.
"How touching. I suppose you have to try to be useful in some way, seeing as you're too cowardly to actually go outside and help in the real world." Snape had a horrible smug expression on his face, he knew he had touched a nerve. Sirius strode towards him, pulling out his wand, and Snape pulled his out in retaliation. Harry hurried forwards, he didn't want Sirius doing something he'd regret. He tried to push Sirius aside, but he refused to budge.
"Snivellus, you piece of filth, you're going to live to regret this-" Sirius snarled at Snape, trying to raise his wand while Harry dodged between the two of them, desperately trying to stop them from harming each other.
"Sirius, stop it!" Harry yelled as the older man tried to push him aside. He didn't like the hard, cold look in his godfather's eyes. Just as Harry was giving up hope of managing to stop them, the door opened and Arthur Weasley walked in, stopping in the doorway with a stunned expression on his face as he took in the scene before him. Snape and Sirius were frozen in position, wands pointed at each other's faces, identical expressions of hatred plastered on each. Harry stood between the two of them, a hand stretched to either side, attempting to push them apart.
"What on earth is happening here?" Mr Weasley said, breaking the tense silence. His voice seemed to bring Snape to his senses, and he put his wand away with a sneer on his face. Without speaking a word to anyone, he spun around with a dramatic wave of his cloak and stalked from the room, the front door slamming behind him a moment later. The portrait of Sirius's mother immediately began screaming, and Arthur turned hesitantly to go and help out, deciding it was best to leave Harry and Sirius alone for a moment.
Sirius slowly put his wand away, his face still livid. He sat down stiffly at the kitchen table, staring moodily into the distance. Harry gently sat next to him, hoping he could calm the man down. He knew that Snape's words were still echoing around Sirius's head, and he had to convince him not to take them to heart. Snape had touched a nerve when calling him a coward, Harry knew how much he hated being cooped up in this house, unable to do anything to help the Order.
"Sirius," Harry said softly, trying to get his attention. Sirius didn't react, Harry wasn't sure if he even heard him speak. He was lost in deep thought. Gently taking Sirius's hand in his, Harry tried again.
"Sirius, listen to me," he said, louder this time, squeezing his hand. Sirius turned to look at him this time, he smiled but Harry could tell that it was forced.
"It's alright, Harry, the dungeon bat is gone now. Good riddance," Sirius said stiffly, his eyes still full of cold anger. Harry hated seeing him like this. He raised his hand and cupped Sirius's face, softly running his thumb along his cheekbone. Sirius closed his eyes, letting out an uneven breath. Harry leaned closer, pressed a soft chaste kiss to his lips before pulling back.
"Don't you dare listen to a word that bastard says," Harry said quietly. "You know he's just trying to piss you off so that you do something stupid. He'd like nothing better than for you to get so annoyed at being stuck here that you go gallivanting off into trouble and get hurt." Harry spoke earnestly, hoping he could get through Sirius's anger and speak sense into the man. Sirius opened his eyes, and they were softer and warmer now.
"Don't worry, Harry, I won't do anything reckless," Sirius said tiredly, still frowning slightly. He stood up, and Harry quickly stopped him before he could stalk off somewhere. Reaching up, he buried his hands in Sirius's soft hair and pulled his head down for another quick kiss. Sirius smiled slightly against his lips, and kissed him back, their lips moving gently against each other. They pulled apart quickly, the kitchen too open a place for such a public display of affection, and Harry gave Sirius's hand one last squeeze.
"Just remember, Sirius, I don't think I could live without you if anything ever happened to you," Harry said quietly, his face expressing the worry he was feeling. Sirius sighed at Harry's words.
"I promise I won't do anything stupid, Harry," he insisted, and Harry could see the truth in his eyes. "Nothing is ever going to happen to me." Harry smiled at Sirius's words, placated for now.
The rest of the day had a more sombre feeling to it, not only following Sirius and Snape's argument, but because the Weasleys were all going to be heading back to school the next day. Harry was of course secretly very pleased about this, but he played his part in looking upset that his friends were going to leave. He enjoyed their presence, of course, but it had been very stressful having to stay away from Sirius for so long. Mr and Mrs Weasley had decided to head back to the Burrow after the children went back to school, although Molly had almost changed her mind after she heard about Sirius's run-in with Snape. It had taken quite some time to convince her that it was okay to leave Harry alone with Sirius, but she was convinced eventually.
The next day Harry awoke to the sounds of people frantically packing their last belongings and racing around the house to get ready. As always, they seemed to be running late, and Harry was glad to be a spectator only this time around. He walked slowly downstairs to the kitchen, yawning widely. Dodging a frantic Ron who was running down the stairs full speed, not realising that his trunk was actually open and leaking his belongings, Harry managed to make it to the kitchen and sank down on a chair with a yawn. Mrs Weasley promptly placed down a huge plate of full English breakfast in front of him, urging him to eat it all.
"Now make sure you eat properly once I'm gone, Harry, I don't want to see you wasting away," she said hurriedly, and Harry had to stop her from piling even more sausages onto his plate.
"I'm not going to let him stave, Molly," Sirius said pointedly as he walked into the room, raising an eyebrow at her. She flushed, bustling back over towards the sink to clean up.
"I wasn't suggesting that at all, Sirius dear," she said quickly, her back to the room as she used her wand to set the pans and plates scrubbing themselves clean. Sirius decided to drop it and sat down next to Harry at the table, winking at him with a roguish grin on his face. Harry's stomach did a back flip, and he grinned back. He couldn't wait for everyone to be gone so he could have Sirius to himself again finally. By the time Harry and Sirius had finished eating breakfast, everyone else was ready leave the house. Harry hugged Hermione and Ron goodbye, and waved off everyone else with a smile. They were taking the Knight bus back to the train station, and Harry didn't envy them one bit.
Finally, Harry and Sirius were left alone in the house. Harry turned from the front door to see Sirius leaning casually against the wall, staring at him heatedly. A lewd smile slipped onto Harry's face as he slowly stalked towards Sirius, not stopping until they were standing only millimetres away from each other.
"So..." Harry breathed, feeling his cheeks flush with excitement, "it looks like we're alone now...". He tailed off, letting his hands wander upwards until they were pressed against Sirius's firm chest. Sirius smiled down at him, their eyes meeting in a lustful stare that neither of them wanted to break. Harry felt that he would never tire of looking into the stormy grey eyes that belonged to the man he loved. Biting his lip, Harry closed the small distance between them so that their bodies were flush against each other, wrapping his arms tightly around the older man. Sirius's warmth was both comforting and arousing, and he tilted his face upwards in an unmistakeable invitation for Sirius to kiss him.
Sirius of course accepted the invitation, and Harry saw a fire awakening in his eyes before his own eyes closed automatically. Full lips pressed against Harry's, demanding, insistent. Harry made an involuntary noise in his throat as heat shot down from his stomach to his groin. Sirius nibbled slightly at Harry's bottom lip, licking it gently with his hot tongue, and Harry opened his mouth to let him in. Their tongues met in battle, tasting each other. They stayed like this for a while, neither wanting to stop, but eventually they broke apart long enough to stagger up the stairs to their bedroom. Harry was extremely happy to be able to call it his bedroom again, instead of that cold room he shared with Ron.
Harry laid down on the bed and Sirius straddled him, hunger evident in his eyes. He began slowly unbuttoning Harry's shirt, leaning forwards and nuzzling the bare skin that he uncovered, placing gentle kisses that left Harry's skin tingling. Harry reciprocated, carefully extracting Sirius from his clothing, and soon they were both stripped to their underwear. Harry moaned out loud, placing his hands on Sirius's hips and grinding their erections together. It felt simply divine, however it just wasn't enough. Sirius seemed to know exactly what Harry was thinking, and he quickly rid them both of their last remaining items of clothing.
Harry's breath caught in his chest as he took in the beautiful sight of a completely naked Sirius Black stretched out on top of him. His cock twitched at the sight and he moaned, needing more contact between them. It had been so long since they'd had a chance to be properly together, and Harry knew that it was time. He knew what he wanted from Sirius.
"I want you..." he whispered, his voice wavering as he drowned in his feeling of arousal. "I want you to..."
"What do you want me to do, Harry?" Sirius whispered delectably in his ear, the feeling of his hot breath on Harry's skin causing him to writhe on the bed in pleasure. Sirius smiled against his face and left a soft kiss there.
"I want you to fuck me," Harry breathed, looking directly into Sirius's eyes and smiling seductively. That lustful fire sparked in Sirius's eyes again, and he grinned wider than ever before.
"It would be my pleasure," he growled roughly, and leaned over to grab something from the bedside cabinet. That something turned out to be a bottle of lubricant, and Harry was very thankful that Sirius was so prepared. Aroused and excited as he was at the anticipation of going the whole way with Sirius, it was still his first time and he was a little nervous. He trusted Sirius, however, and knew that he would do everything he could to make it as painless as possible.
Sirius smiled gently at Harry, and leaned down again to whisper in his ear. "Trust me, Harry," he spoke softly, "I'm going to take care of you."
"I know," Harry smiled back at him, biting his lip in anticipation. Sirius kissed him on his swollen lips, meanwhile his hand was trailing downwards. He moved to Harry's neck, sucking, licking, biting, making Harry writhe and squirm with excitement as he dragged a lubed finger slowly down Harry's erection, and then gently over his entrance. Harry tensed briefly, not used to this feeling, but Sirius gently took Harry's hand in his free one, and squeezed it, letting him know that he was going to be gentle. Harry relaxed, and Sirius used that opportunity to slide his finger inside.
Harry squirmed slightly, getting used to the feeling, and decided that he rather liked it. It was different, but not uncomfortable. When he knew that Harry was comfortable, Sirius began moving his finger in and out, pressing slightly deeper each time, and soon enough he found that little bundle of nerves that he had been searching for. Harry gasped out loud, feeling waves of pleasure radiate over him as Sirius gently stroked his prostate. While Harry was preoccupied, Sirius added a second lubed finger. Again Harry tensed slightly but relaxed as Sirius stroked his prostate, stretching him deliciously and slightly scissoring his fingers to prepare him for what was to come.
After a little while Sirius deemed Harry ready, and slid his fingers out so that he could prepare himself properly. Harry pouted slightly at the loss, but his excitement was reignited as he watched Sirius squirting out lubricant onto his fingers and rubbing it all over his rock hard erection. Sirius looked him in the eyes and winked, and Harry was pretty sure that was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. He gave Harry a quick kiss on the lips.
"Ready?" Sirius asked softly, and Harry nodded, not trusting himself to be able to talk right now. The older man positioned himself between Harry's legs, spreading them wide so that he could manoeuvre himself between them. With one last reassuring glance at Harry's face, Sirius gently positioned himself at Harry's entrance, pushing slightly so that only the head breached the entrance. Harry hissed slightly at the feeling, but Sirius gently grasped Harry's erection and palmed it slowly, relaxing him, reminding him to focus on the pleasure. It worked perfectly, and Harry relaxed enough for Sirius to slide carefully forwards until his cock was buried inside Harry. The sight of Sirius inside him like that almost made Harry lose it, but he managed to keep it under control. After a couple of minutes adjusting to the feeling, Harry couldn't take the anticipation any more.
"Move, Sirius, please move," he begged, needing to feel the delicious friction between them, and Sirius was more than happy to oblige. He slowly slid almost all the way out of Harry, before pushing quickly forwards again, burying himself all the way in. Harry cried out as Sirius hit his prostate, and begged him to do it again. Sirius picked up the pace, and Harry couldn't help but cry out loud in pleasure. Every powerful thrust that Sirius delivered sent shock-waves of heat around his body, every part of him seeming to tingle with the mounting arousal.
They were both sweating, panting, from the exertion. Harry's muscles were working over time, meeting Sirius for every thrust, letting out breathy moans as he was overwhelmed with the beautiful sensations. Soon Harry felt it building to the point of no return, his muscles involuntarily tensing, flocks of butterflies taking flight in his stomach, and with one final push he screamed, riding the waves of the most incredible orgasm he had ever felt. Sirius watched him, moaning with pleasure himself, and a few thrusts later he felt his own release wash over him, and collapsed down next to Harry on the bed.
Harry lay in silence, his chest heaving as he fought to catch his breath, feeling the sweat dry on his body. He could feel Sirius's seed dripping out of him down his leg slightly, and he smiled softly to himself. After a while he came back to reality slightly, and moved over on the bed until he was cuddled up against Sirius's side. Sirius put an arm around him and pulled him close, kissing him softly on the forehead.
"How do you feel, Harry?" Sirius asked him carefully, running a hand up and down his back soothingly.
"I feel amazing. Incredible. Wonderful." Harry grinned, still feeling slightly hazy. Sirius laughed quietly and nuzzled his hair.
"I'm glad to hear that," he replied, and Harry looked up at him to see a peaceful smile on the older man's face.
"I love you," Harry said seriously. "You're the first and only person I ever want to do that with."
Sirius smiled widely, and Harry could have sworn his eyes almost seemed slightly watery. "I love you too, Harry. I'm extremely honoured that you would give yourself to me like that. I want you to know that I'm never going to hurt you, and I'm never going to leave you." Sirius pulled him into a tight hug, his voice slightly wavering as he fought to complete that sentence. Harry felt his own eyes tearing up, and he smiled at how completely sappy they were being.
"Look at us, Sirius, we're being so cheesy." Harry smiled into Sirius's chest, and he felt Sirius's chest vibrate as he let out a deep rumbling laugh.
"I won't tell if you don't," Sirius joked, and Harry smiled to himself.
"Deal," he said drowsily, feeling himself slowly slipping away into sleep. He was gently snoring before he knew it, and Sirius followed him into slumber shortly after. For once Harry's dreams were uninterrupted by fear, and he slept soundly throughout the entire night.
A/N: Hope that wasn't too fluffy ;) ah who am I kidding I love the fluff. Anyway I hope you enjoyed, and please leave a review even if you just want to shout at me for leaving this story for so long!