Chapter 5: Observations
"He's a stranger I just met. Far from a friend. I have no obligation to tend to this and that."
These words had been echoing in Itō's mind the past week, words that came from a side of Akashi in which she was having trouble believing. She had once been a stranger to Akashi, yet he had always lent a helping hand even if it were not his duty to do so, and she knew for certain that he would do the same for anyone who needed it, doing so every time behind the scenes.
Because it was his nature, or so she believed.
Stepping out of the supermarket, Itō shook her head to clear up her muddled mind. Her eyes travelled to the heavy bag of groceries she was holding, her lips pursing into a smile. Tonight would not be another night that she would feel perturbed by Akashi's words. After all, it was a special night: a night when she would finally have company for dinner.
The teenage girl hummed to a soft tune as she paced along the buzzling street, only to be interrupted by a familiar voice that had once caused shivers running down her spine.
"Itō-san, good evening."
She twisted her head and found an aqua-haired boy picking up the grocery bag lying on the ground.
"Your grocery bag fell."
"K-Kuroko-san, good evening. And thank you." Itō took the bag from Kuroko with one hand, the other hand on her chest to calm her pounding heart. "You scared me just now..."
"I'm sorry. But I did call your name several times…"
"You did!?"
"Oh, isn't it Tetsu and Itō! What a coincidence to see you guys here."
The two turned around to the trace the rusky voice coming from beside them.
"Aomine-kun, good evening."
"Aomine-san, good evening."
The tanned boy cracked up laughing. "What's up with the weird politeness, you two? We're in the same year! Anyway, where are you guys heading to?"
"We bumped into each other just now, actually," said Kuroko.
"I see. If you guys are heading this way, then let's walk together."
After nodding in agreement, the three students continued walking their path in the street.
"Oh yea, so what did you talk to Akashi about?"
Aomine's question triggered Itō's mind to grudgingly repeat Akashi's words once more.
"He told me that there's something I have that would be of great help for the team."
"What is that "something"?"
"That I don't know. Akashi only hinted that it has something to do with my lack of presence."
"Huh. Like a secret weapon or something?"
"But I'm not good at shooting or rebounding."
Itō mused on Kuroko's potential skills. How would Kuroko's lack of presence be useful on court? Perhaps it would have to do with outmaneuvering the opponents without them noticing, and this would only be possible with one certain set of moves.
"Maybe passing?"
"Passing?" Kuroko repeated.
Aomine agreed to the suggestion. "Oh, yea! Like a pass that totally bends and stuff."
"Yes, that might be it!" Itō's eyes lit up at Aomine's idea. "Like hwaaa!"
She flew her hands in the air and made a Sailor Moon gesture with her thumb, index, and pinky fingers extended.
"Yea, like whoosh!" Aomine went with the flow, twirling his arms into several morphing motions from Power Rangers that he had imitated all too often in elementary school.
"...It's fine. I'll think of a way."
Kuroko shifted his embarrassed head to the passers-by who had turned their heads to the two silly teenagers and started murmuring about their childish gestures. As he did, a tiny glint crept into his light blue eyes: he found his destination.
"I'm going to stop by here since there is a book I have to buy for class," Kuroko said.
"Yea, see you tomorrow then, Tetsu!"
"See you tomorrow, Kuroko-san!"
The assistant manager would not have guessed that Kuroko would find the answer in the bookstore he had just entered.
The brown leaves had begun abandoning the branches, leaving them bare. The strong breeze speeded up the process, whisking away everything in sight, including plenty of students who had succumbed to the cold. Unsurprisingly, Itō was among those students.
A gust of wind greeted her as took her seat at her desk that she had not touched for the past few days, followed by her classmate whose presence she was getting accustomed to only quite recently.
"Itō-san, good morning. Here are the notes that I took from class during the days you were absent."
"Good morning, Kuroko-san." Itō took the notes from her classmate. "Thank you so much for the notes. I really appreciate i-i—"
Acchoo!
"Here." Kuroko pulled out a sheet of tissue from his pocket and handed it to her.
"Thank you. Sorry for causing you trouble...first with the notes, and now with the tissue..."
"It's fine. Are you feeling better?"
"Yes."
Acchoo!
Itō was never good at lying at this kind of things, and decided to change the topic instead. "By the way, any luck on the answer to your play style yet? It's been two months, hasn't?"
Kuroko gleamed at her with his light blue eyes as though he had been urging to share what he had been developing the past month. "I have found some clues, but not a definite answer yet. But it should have something to do with observing and guiding lines of sight. I can practise it by observing people."
"By observing people? For instance?"
"For instance—"
His explanation was interrupted by the girls clamouring and gathering around their classroom door. Towering over the excited girls was a yellow-haired boy whose charming features, Itō assumed, must have attracted them like a magnet.
"Isn't that Kise-kun?"
"Aaah~ He's even more handsome in real life than in magazines!"
"I'm so glad he's been visiting our classroom the past few days! I wonder what he's doing here though."
Itō's attention quickly wandered off from the crowd to the pair of red eyes that had been lingering on her through the windows between her classroom and the corridor.
She had missed those eyes.
The redhead broke his gaze a few seconds later; he shut his eyelids and continued walking in the corridor, a relieved smile hovering over his face.
She had also missed that smile.
A sudden sense of guilt suddenly washed over her. Her absence must have caused burden to him and the rest of the members, and she understood she must make up for it by working even harder for the basketball club before the term ended.
But before she could finish her train of thought, she could sense the piercing gaze from her classmate who was still waiting for her to resume the conversation.
"Ah, right. Like how?"
"Like observing you and Akashi-kun just now," Kuroko said.
"E-eh?!"
"I've been observing how the both of you interact after practice the past month."
"Y-you did?" Itō blinked in confusion. The vice-captain barely had anytime to talk to her after practice, and when he did they had often been alone. So how did Kuroko manage to observe them when he spent most of his time in the third gym?
"Yes. You and Akashi-kun often communicate with each other without speaking."
"...What does that mean?"
"It is as I just said. The both of you use small gestures such as a smile or a nod to indicate things. People have all sorts of quirks and different reactions that they might not be aware of. I observe those and categorise them. I need that to guide lines of sight."
"I see...that's really amazing, Kuroko-san."
"Thank you. But there are still things that I cannot make sense yet with my observations."
"There are?"
"Yes, such as the way the both of you sometimes look at eac—"
"Teeeeetsu-kun~"
Kuroko's explanation was interrupted again, this time by Itō's bubbly friend who wrapped her arms around a new target she had recently found to cling onto.
"You really do come on to Kuroko-san hard lately, don't you, Momoi-san?"
"Well, I can't hold back~ Not when Tetsu-kun is always so amazing and hardworking. He'll definitely shine on court someday."
Itō remembered how Momoi had been staying in the third gym after practice ever since she had discovered who the "ghost" was. Her pink eyes never stopped glittering with fascination at the aqua-haired boy whenever she watched him play with Aomine in the third gym. Itō was also aware that both Momoi and Aomine could sense Kuroko's extremely keen observations on court. Maybe that was why her friend had become completely drawn to Kuroko.
"Besides, he gave me the winning popsicle stick."
...Or maybe not. Itō did not quite understand how a popsicle stick could serve as a final trigger to steal her friend's heart.
"S-sorry, could you get off my shoulders now? I c-can't breathe."
"Ah, sorry!" Momoi removed her arms from Kuroko's small shoulders. "So what were you guys talking about?"
"Oh, right. Then, Momoi-san…"
Kuroko's blank eyes stared at Momoi's anxious ones. Itō flickered her eyes to her two classmates, waiting for either of them to break the silence.
"Momoi-san is the type that stares back when being stared at."
That's because the one she was staring was you, Kuroko-san…, Itō thought.
"Oh, there you are!"
Itō twisted her head to the yellow-haired teenager who was now standing in front of her desk, bringing along a group of piercing glances from the other side of the classroom.
"I've been waiting for you to appear in class! I heard that you were absent the past few days."
She blinked at the lively boy. "Ah, I'm sorry but you are…?"
"That's mean! Don't tell me you don't remember who I am!"
She shook her head. "I'm afraid I don't…"
"Does the name Kise Ryōta ring a bell?"
"N-no…"
The yellow-haired boy's widened eyes flickered in surprise, which Itō assumed to mean he was a person that she was expected to know, either through his fame or their interaction. Unfortunately for the yellowhead, Itō did not remember him through either way, and she could see the disappointment across his face and hear the astonishment of her female classmates across the classroom from their murmurings.
"Ah, it's fine..." The stranger scratched his head, his mouth pouting a little. "Anyway, I'm here to thank you for helping me out the other day. Here."
Lying on Itō's desk was a photo of a model who resembled the boy standing in front of her, along with a signature and a note that said "Thank you, Itō-cchi~".
Itō…-cchi?
"Treasure it! I don't have any spares!"
The yellow-haired boy waved goodbye and squeezed his way out of the classroom.
Itō turned her focus back at the photo, her mind still completely blank about the winking face on the photo.
"Itō-san, he is…?" asked Kuroko.
"Isn't he that famous model at our school? Saya-chan, you know him?" Momoi also asked.
"I…"
The confused girl continued staring at the photo until the light bulb above her head finally lit up.
"Oh!" She lifted her head from her desk. "He was the boy who screamed in the courtyard the other day because of an earthworm crawling on his shoulder."
"An earthworm?" Kuroko repeated.
"Yes, and I helped remove it from him. But..."
"But…?" Momoi also repeated.
A feeling that she was all too familiar with dredged up a distant memory of her first encounter with Akashi.
"How did he know my name?"
Kuroko became a first-stringer on the first day of winter.
He had passed the test through a practice match between the second and third-string and demonstrated to all the first-stringers, including the coaches Shirogane and Sanada, his unique technique of misdirection that would be of great use for the team. Akashi was glad that Kuroko had exceeded his expectations, disappearing from the court and changing the course of the ball by skillfully guiding the players' eyes to the ball and away from him with his lack of presence and exceptional observations. If he could secure his place as the sixth man in the team and gain the respect from the regulars then three consecutive years of victory would be within Akashi's reach.
That was why when Kuroko took his first official steps into the first gym, the vice-captain welcomed him with a message that he would want his new teammate to engrave in his heart: "From this moment, you only have one mission: to win."
The redhead then casted a glance at the silver-haired boy sauntering from the entrance.
"Haizaki, you're late."
"My bad. This won't happen again," Haizaki said in a unrepentant tone, his eyes roaming around the court until it landed on the assistant manager who was running through her notes on the other end of the court.
"Heya, Saya. How's it going? I haven't seen your cute face in so long." The silverhead approached Itō with a flirtatious smile.
"That is because you've been absent from practice the past week, Haizaki-san. Your practice session is starting soon; please remember to do some stretches beforehand."
Tssch. "Don't be so cold. I only came to practice because I heard you're overseeing the first-string today." Before Haizaki could cling his arm around Itō's shoulders, she took a few steps away from him, her slightly uncomfortable eyes at his teasing ones.
"Haizaki."
Akashi's tone could not have been more authoritative. He twitched his left eye, trying to suppress a side of him that had not exactly been born yet. He had never condoned Haizaki's misbehaviour outside school and his attitude towards the basketball club, and for some reason he could not especially tolerate the way his teammate had been treating Itō since the night he saw the silverhead licking his thumb as he and Itō walked back to the dormitory during the summer training camp. However, as much as he would like to rid of him, he understood that the team still needed his skills as a starter. If only someone could replace him next year…...
"Yea, yea." Haizaki lifted both arms in the air to surrender to his vice-captain. He took a few steps back, his face still facing the displeased redhead, until he abruptly bumped into a person he had not seen before.
"My bad—wait. Who the hell are you?!"
"I'm Kuroko Tetsuya. Starting today I'll be coming here. Nice to meet you."
"What?! Is this for real?"
"Enough with the chatting and let's start the training! After stretching, we'll do some footwork." The first-string coach's order muted the entire court; the practice session had officially begun.
After the practice had ended, Akashi was certain his worst fear came true: Kuroko's lack of presence despite his hard work meant he would have trouble catching up with the first-stringers and performing up to standards in the relatively intense training regime.
With a drenched towel over his flushed face, the redhead flickered his eyes to the new first-stringer and widened at the sight of him bending his weak knees on the floor and covering his stomach with his skinny arms.
"Aomine-kun," the panting first-stringer muttered to his friend. "Is the first-string training always this intense?"
"Huh? You find it hard? It's always like that so…"
"Yes, the menus have numerous activities and they're pretty fast-paced…The third-string training was less inte—"
"T-Tetsu?! Don't vomit here, Tetsu! Oi, Satsuki and Itō! Bring a bucket and a mop!"
"Having trouble" might be a euphemism for Kuroko's situation.
The manager and her assistant rushed to help Kuroko cope with his fatigue. Momoi frantically slid the bucket under his face while Itō gently rubbed his back, her worried gaze rising to meet Akashi's slightly concerned one.
Without doubt, today's conversation topic in the changing room would be about the new additional member to the first-string.
"No...Impossible…" Murasakibara was the first to comment on Kuroko's first day of practice as a first-stringer for a change of pace. He rarely cared about his fellow members, so his remark meant the newcomer must be exceptional to catch his attention, although this time in a bad way. Grabbing another pack of Maiubo from his locker, the purplehead continued his rare rant, "It's only his first day, but he already couldn't follow to the menu. I don't think he'll stay here for long."
"Yea, I think so too," added Haizaki who was changing his clothes beside Murasakibara. "You probably should go comfort him, Zaki-chin."
"What? You looking for a fight?!"
"Stop it, you two." To Midorima's annoyance, his words could rarely stop the childish quarrels among his fellow teammates. They would only listen to the vice-captain who seldom raised out his voice. "Although...as for Kuroko, I have to say I share the same opinion. Do you think he'll be fine, Akashi?"
The calm redhead buttoned his shirt. "We'll just have to wait and see. It's only his first day of training, and we haven't seen him in an official match yet. It's too early to judge."
Before Midorima could continue his remark on the new member, Akashi was already outside the changing room, his bag slung over his shoulder. "I'll be leaving first. See you all tomorrow."
The three teammates stared blankly at the now empty door.
"Hasn't Aka-chin been leaving us right after practice lately?" Murasakibara muttered.
"It's no surprise there. He's always been a busy person." Although Midorima admitted that he was curious about Akashi's whereabouts recently: there had been days when Akashi would disappear right after practice when no student council meeting was scheduled with the class representatives and he knew the redhead preferred leaving school with his fellow teammates.
"Maybe the vice-captain has found a girlfriend or something," Haizaki joked.
"Idiot, he's not you."
"You think so?" Haizaki's lips curved into a sly smile. "Well, it doesn't matter either way. She'll never be his."
"Just who are you referring to, Haizaki?"
"You'll know in time…" The silverhead looked at the puzzled Midorima. "...or maybe not."
Akashi slid open the door to the small empty room that he had enjoyed relaxing in the past months. He pulled out the shōgi board and boxes containing the wooden pieces from the dusty shelf and placed them on the desk along with his bag. The chilly wind guided his calm gaze from the arranged pieces on the board to the dry branches behind the windows. The only time he had seen these bare branches being covered in cherry blossoms was the day he had met Itō, an interesting being at first sight, but now an existence he was having difficulty in describing.
Akashi's train of thoughts was derailed by the discordant sound of footsteps coming from the corridor. His eyes glided from the door sliding open to the puffing girl he had been waiting for.
"Sorry that I'm late! There were a lot of notes I had to finish up with Momoi-san so I couldn't come here immediately after practice," said the ash brown-haired teenager as she slung her bag onto the chair's handle and took a seat opposite of the smiling boy.
"It's fine. Thank you for your hard work."
The two teenagers made a formal bow and started their casual game.
"Sanada-san and the first-stringers seemed disappointed in Kuroko-san today."
"Aa. But their reactions are to be expected, especially after seeing how Kuroko performed when I first saw him."
Akashi noted the pair of hazelnut eyes faltering a little.
"Umm...do you remember what you said to me after meeting Kuroko-san?"
"About the skills that he demonstrated in court today?"
"Y-yes…"
"Is something the matter?" He lifted his eyes from the board to the troubled face across him. "You don't seem satisfied with my answer."
Itō shook her head furiously. "No, no. It's nothing!"
"Is that so." He moved his pawn on the board. "But it does worry me that he isn't capable of following the minimum amount of training that we have. He'll just have to do his best. If not, he'll never be accepted for matches."
"Indeed, it'll be hard for Nijimura-san to agree and allow Kuroko-san to play in official matches with the state he is in now." It was Itō's turn to move her piece. "But I believe in Kuroko-san. I'm sure that he'll prove himself useful soon."
"Aa. I do hope that that's the case in the interexchange match tomorrow." Akashi shut his eyes and smiled. "By the way, Itō-san…"
The ash brown-haired girl stared at the board, her eyes blinking and widening at her loss. "When did you…?!"
"You seemed rather out of focus during the game. Did I say something that bothered you just now?"
"N-no…"
"Your face shows otherwise though."
Akashi heaved a quiet sigh. He did not quite understand why he was bothered by the strange behaviour Itō was displaying, yet he knew for certain that this rare unsettling feeling of his would persist if she did not provide an answer to her worried expression. He did not like this feeling at all.
"Itō, could you pass me your phone?"
"My phone?"
Akashi took the phone from the bemused girl and took out his. He then pressed the buttons on both phones and flipped them close, handing one of them back to her.
"Good. Call or text me when you're ready to talk about it."
"W-what?!"
"It is as I just said. Since you don't seem to want to share what you're worried about right now, and I am concerned about it."
"Akashi-san…"
"Also, I won't be able to visit this room next week."
"Because of your other commitments at school?"
"No, I will be absent from school for the entire week next week due to some family matters."
"I see…did you record your number on my phone so that I could inform you about the basketball club while you're away?"
"You could say so."
Itō was not entirely wrong about his intention since she was the assistant manager and he was the vice-captain of the club.
But that was not the main reason.
While Akashi had predicted Haizaki's absence in today's informal inter-exchange match against Nanbara and Kuroko would replace him as a substitute on the starting lineup, he did not expect Kuroko to act like a newborn fawn on the court.
The buzzer went off for the first quarter. The vice-captain immediately received the ball from Murasakibara who started the tip off and jogged to the other side of the court with the new member.
"Stay calm, Kuroko-kun. First, take it easy…"
But before Akashi's words could calm down Kuroko's nerves, the light blue-head had already tripped and fallen onto the ground, his face facing the floor. It took a second for the redhead to digest the thump sound he had just head and turn his head around to verify his worst fear.
"I'm sorry. I tripped on my own foot…" The inexperienced boy stood back up. "I'm fine." Blood started falling from Kuroko's nose.
Akashi stated in a concerned tone, "No, you're not fine at all."
As a result, Kuroko was sent back to the bench.
"That's impossible…" Murasakibara grumbled.
"Tetsu…" Aomine muttered.
"Subbed out after one second…" Midorima uttered.
Akashi needed to let his teammates know that he had not intended Kuroko to underperform like this in an official match. "This is definitely beyond my expectations."
"Well, small lectures will come later," said Nijimura, his disappointed eyes darting at Akashi. "For now, win."
With that, the captain of Teikō's basketball team, who was also the best power forward among all middle schoolers, took the court by storm and was in no time reprimanded by the coach for not holding back. Kuroko was substituted back, but his underperformance continued.
"Out of bounds. Black ball."
Murasakibara had reached his limit. The extremely poor pass he had just failed to catch from Kuroko made the purplehead grow irritated as he squinted his large hand on Kuroko's head
"Hey, what was that all about? Playing around?"
"I'm not playing around."
"I'm going to crush you."
"Please don't crush me."
Bothered by his teammates' reaction towards Kuroko, the vice-captain pondered whether Kuroko's mistakes were due to his nerves or his failure to make the play-style of misdirection truly his.
Unsurprisingly, this question continued occupying Akashi's mind during the lunch break between the matches, even after Teikō's victory in the first match. Akashi understood both the coach and his teammates were disappointed not only at Kuroko, but also at his trust in the newcomer's abilities on court. Did he place too high expectations on Kuroko? But he had confidence in Kuroko's ability. Kuroko had been fine during the test; all his passes connected and it was not the case that the effectiveness of his misdirection had reduced. Besides, he knew that Itō had faith in Kuroko's ability to shine on court. If only he could find the reason for Kuroko's underperformance just now and be the trigger to alter it...
"Huh? Isn't this Mine-chin's wallet?"
"Where did he go?"
"To the convenience store."
"I'll deliver it."
Akashi's mind returned to the conversation his fellow teammates were having as he saw the wallet that Murasakibara had just thrown hopping on Kuroko's hand and ultimately falling onto the ground.
"Please don't toss it so suddenly."
But Kuroko had known that Murasakibara was throwing the wallet at him.
"Huh. But you're the one who was too slow to catch it."
Kuroko's slow reaction...that's it.
A smile slipped through Akashi's smile. He finally found the reason for Kuroko's underperformance.
Interestingly, Kuroko was called in on court for the second half of the afternoon match against Haranishi Junior High. The vice-captain speculated that this was all thanks to Aomine's help.
It was now the third quarter. The score was 31 to 33 with Teikō leading.
Akashi approached the slightly nervous Kuroko. "You need to correct your passing speed. The first-stringers are agile."
"Pardon me?"
"Start a step sooner than with second or third-stringers or you won't make it. In short, it's a matter of timing. Misdirection becomes vastly effective only when you can control your on-court presence. To do that, don't openly show your emotions."
Akashi pointed his finger at Kuroko's chest. "Fighting spirit is necessary, but keep it inside."
Kuroko took a deep breath. His eyes suddenly became expressionless. He seemed to have fully understood the advice from his vice-captain.
Akashi dribbled the ball against his opponents and passed the ball to Kuroko.
In a blink of a second, Midorima was holding the same ball that appeared out of nowhere. When it functions, the change is this drastic, Kuroko? The greenhead thought.
The ball made another curve towards Murasakibara who then dunked it into the basket.
I'm getting pass after pass from Aka-chin with impossible timing. This is super easy, thought Murasakibara.
With Kuroko on court, Teikō won the match briskly as a result.
When Kuroko was officially announced as a regular of the Teikō Junior High Basketball Team the following week, Akashi and Itō exchanged smiles.
"I'm back home!"
Itō's voice was greeted by the silence enclosing the dark room. She switched on the bright lights and placed her bag of groceries on the floor, humming again to a happy tune as she began preparing the dishes; tonight was another rare night when she would not be having dinner alone.
Bzzz.
The busy teenage girl's eyes travelled from the soup ladle she was sipping from to the school bag from where the buzzing sound came. She took her phone out from the bag and flipped it open. The corners of her mouth curled up into a sad smile as she read the message her mother had just sent her:
Sorry, Saya.
It turns out I won't be having dinner at home tonight after all. There's a client meeting that I must attend. I won't be back until after midnight.
Itō had lost count of the number of times she had received the same message from her mother the past years. It could not be helped. Her mother had been working hard to bear a much larger portion of their household income the recent years.
As for Itō's father, he was on a trip in Hokkaidō for the preliminary matches of the prestigious Meijin title. She was quite certain that he would be back soon, his dispirited self locked away once again in his room to continue his training.
She tilted her head down at the hot dishes on the table: they would have to be stored as leftovers again.
Bzzz.
Itō flickered her eyes at the phone, her eyes widening at the name her phone was displaying; she hastily flicked open her phone and read the message:
This is Akashi.
I just wanted to make sure that our messages go through each other's phone. Message me if you've received this.
And when you're ready, do tell me what you were worried about the other day.
Have a good evening.
A softened smile graced Itō's lips. She wondered whether the redhead knew he had texted her at the right time.
He must have not known, but it did not matter.
Because this was the real Akashi Itō knew.
And she felt warmth for the first time in her life.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke written by Fujimaki Tadatoshi-san. All credit to the wonderful people that contributed to the creation of the manga and anime for this series, and to the translation teams for their hard work in putting on subtitles for the manga and anime that are used in this fanfiction.
Author's Note:
So…...I'm back! I struggled with this chapter for a while and was dissatisfied with it so I left it and ended up going on a hiatus. ;_; I'm so, so sorry for the late update, everyone!
Finally done with Kuroko's introduction! So much happened in this chapter so it is much longer than I expected. I made Momoi meet and develop a crush for Kuroko earlier than the timeline in both the manga and anime.
Reviews!
. .much: The GOM are forever adorable uhuhu Thank you! The interactions between Itō and Akashi are slow and steady because I'm still trying to develop their relationship without Akashi being too OOC :) Next chapter is definitely focused on the drama of the Akashi household~!
Wikked: Again thank you so much for supporting this story! I'm terribly sorry for the hiatus! Please look forward to the next chapter and I promise I'll never abandon this story. :) It's definitely more exciting and original than this chapter that mainly focuses on introducing Kuroko into the story. haha
Hyuuga Senpai and RockaRosalie: Thank you so much for your support! It means a lot to me :'D