Career Day

Misery sat quietly in her school's auditorium, reading a bulletin Vice Principal Squirrelflight had given her. "Hm…Career Day presentations," she murmured to herself. "Miss Tansy is going to talk about getting into the television industry and Mr. Firestar is going to talk about joining the police force. This will be interesting."

"This is so boring!" Lollipop grumbled, sitting next to her gray sister. "Why can't they have a famous football player or basketball player come and talk to us about sports?"

"Because that's not ladylike!" Shimmer meowed. "Only toms play sports.

The black kit narrowed her amber eyes angrily. "They do not! There are she-cat basketball teams! I could be on one someday, you know!"

Tutu bounced excitedly in her seat. "I bet the speakers will talk about the importance of college! I'm going to go to Harvard Feline University or Yale Feline University!"

"Ivy League schools?" Misery asked. "That's where I want to go, too!"

"We can be roommates!" Tutu mewed, hugging her sister. "It'll be so awesome!"

Principal Bramblestar padded onto the auditorium stage, holding a microphone in his paw. "Hello, kits! Welcome to the Career Day Assembly! We are going to have some amazing presentations today that will introduce you to a number of careers. Our first speaker is the president of Feline Warrior Television Network. Let's all give a warm round of applause for Miss Tansy!"

Misery and Tutu applauded happily, eager to hear what the ginger she-cat had to say. Shimmer and Sparkle took their sewing kits out of their purses and decided to work on their new dresses during the presentations. Lollipop looked bored.

"Hello, everyone!" Tansy mewed as she stared out into the audience. "I'm here to talk about an exciting career in the television industry. I absolutely love my job, and I think many of you could, too! Who wants to know what I do for a living?"

"We do!" Misery and Tutu shouted.

Lollipop yawned and closed her eyes.

"Well," the ginger speaker began, "I run ClanTV, Catalodean, and CrimeCatTV. That means I get to listen to cats who have ideas for new shows, cats who want to be on my shows, and choose what shows I want to put on television. Sometimes I come up with my own ideas for new shows. I get to choose everything that happens on my channels. Who remembers 'The Yellowfang and Nightcloud Show'?"

Every kit in the audience raised their paws, cheering as they recognized the popular program.

Tansy smiled happily. "Yellowfang came to me with the idea for that show a couple years ago, asking if I would consider putting it on television. I said yes as long as she hired a co-host and got to proofread her scripts. But you know, it took a long time to get to where I could buy my own network. I had to start at the bottom and get an education first. I got a degree in film and directing at Warriors University and got a job making commercials for small companies. I worked my way to success, but with my hard work I became one of the most well- known names in the feline television world. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Tutu turned excitedly to Misery. "We should do that! We could make a bunch of super educational shows that every cat will enjoy and learn from!"

"That sounds like fun!" the gray kit squealed. "You could be the director, and I could be the camera-cat!"

Lollipop started to snore.

"Okay, that was Miss Tansy!" Bramblestar meowed. "Our next speaker owns Firestar's Police Force of Morality! Please welcome Mr. Firestar to the stage."

The ginger tom padded over to the principal, taking the microphone from his paws. "Hello, future leaders and crime-fighters! Who wants to learn about what I do?"

"You prevent us from having fun!" Hashtag shouted from her seat. The little villain was in a black lacy dress and she was wearing her vampire fangs.

Firestar glared at the kit sternly. "I do not prevent you from having fun, young lady. I make the world safe for every cat. The world needs more good and moral cats, and evil cannot be tolerated at all."

"Evil is fun!" the little black kit argued.

"Well, anyway, what I do every day is make bad cats go to jail," Firestar continued, ignoring Hashtag's outburst. "Thanks to my police force Tigerstar, Snowtuft, Darkstripe, Shredtail, and many others have spent time behind bars. We have made the world a safer place for everyone!"

"Boring!" Hashtag groaned loudly.

The ginger tom narrowed his eyes, beginning to look annoyed at the she-cat. "We must be good and moral cats!" he growled. "Follow the law and never ever do anything bad!"

"Yeah right!" the kit howled. "You can't tell me what to do!"

Firestar looked as if he wanted to say something to the she-cat, but instead whirled around and stalked off of the stage, lashing his tail furiously.

"We're down to our last speaker!" Bramblestar announced. "We were supposed to have Oakheart come and talk about getting into politics and serving in Warriors Congress, but we've had change of plan. Oakheart is…unavailable, but he has a replacement. Anyway, please welcome Mr. Scourge to the stage!"

"Yay Daddy!" Hashtag cheered wildly.

"Yay Daddy!" Misery cheered sweetly.

The tiny black tom padded onto the stage, giving the audience a sly glance. "Hello, children,' he meowed smoothly. "I'm so sorry that Oakheart had an…accident. You'll just have to settle for me. I work as a horrible henchman at Brokenstar's House of Villains."

"Go Brokenstar!" Hashtag cheered.

Scourge nodded, sending his daughter a proud look. "Basically, what I do is help Brokenstar work on his evil plans. Sometimes we do little things, like spray paint buildings or pop kits' balloons, but other times we do something really bad. Last month we robbed a bank! Who wants to know how we pulled it off?"

"I do!" Hashtag shouted, squirming excitedly.

Lollipop continued to snore.

"Well, Brokenstar, Mapleshade, and I dressed up as queens! Brokenstar dressed up as Daisy, Mapleshade dressed up as Ferncloud, and I dressed up as Brindleface! We walked into the bank and kindly asked to see the bank manager. Everyone thought we were just the sweetest little ladies, but as soon as we were alone with the bank manager, we killed him and stole every bit of money in the building! It was so much fun!"

Bramblestar ran back on stage, his amber eyes wide with horror. "Yes…well…thank you for that, Scourge, but we don't really encourage murder here at Moor Elementary School."

"Evil is life," Scourge growled. "I'm giving these kits life advice! They could get internships at Brokenstar's House of Villains! An internship would look great on their applications to Dark Forest University!"

The dark tabby principal grabbed the microphone from the tom's paws. "We do not tolerate evil!" he hissed. "Don't make me call Firestar to come out here!"

The ginger tom was already padding onto the stage, carrying a pair of paw cuffs. "I'm already here," he growled. "Thank you for announcing your guilt, Scourge. We had no leads on that bank robbery and murder until you admitted to it!"

"Drats" Scourge spat. "You can't prove anything!"

Firestar shook his head. "Oh yes I can. Scourge, you're under arrest for robbery and murder. You have the right to remain silent."

"Don't arrest my daddy!" Misery cried.

"Yay for evil!" Hashtag cheered.

"Evil isn't ladylike!" Sparkle complained.

"I want to be a duchess," Shimmer added.

Tutu read her book.

Lollipop still snored.