Here I come with another chappie! I don't own Fairy Tail but if I did then I would stop all the INCESSANT CLIFF HANGERS DEAR GOD.
After the quick departure of Aries and Loke the guild eagerly turned to Mira for another fanfiction.
She held up her hands in apology as the new one had not come in and so another waiting period began.
Soon a ding sounded through the hall and Mirajane raced to the lacrima to find a new story in her inbox.
She excitedly pulled it up before dragging one of the more unknown members of the guild to the front.
"Uh, who are you?" Natsu asked.
"Natsu, you don't just blatantly ask that type of question to your guildmate!" Lucy cried.
"Why not?" he asked, cocking his head.
As Lucy face palmed, the girl nervously giggled before introducing herself.
"I am Mara!"
"Nice to meet you Mara," a Fairy Tail member shouted.
"How do you not know your guildmates?" Lyon asked.
"We are a very large guild," Gray responded defensively.
"Oh, shut up and let the girl read."
Drinking "Buddies" By: Bleh
Cana lazily sipped her drink as she 'people watched' her guild. Little did most people know, she made fun of them on a daily basis.
Other than her obnoxious jeers that usually came from her sharpened wit after downing barrels of alcohol, she created stupid stories of what was going on around her.
But she was also a lot more perceptive than people gave her credit for.
For example, she knew that Levy "totally hated" the new Magi boots.
Natsu was trying to sneak hot sauce into Lucy's milkshake one day.
Laxus' secret passion was tap dancing. That one still made her laugh every time she thought about it.
Poor Mara had to practically dive out of the way as a bolt of lightning whizzed toward her.
Mira glared at Laxus, holding up a piece of strawberry cake as a threat as well as getting ready to fight.
Laxus held his hands up in surrender but zapped every person that was still laughing.
Anything about Juvia was fairly obvious so she didn't even try watching her.
Mira and Erza surprisingly were partners in crime when it came to matchmaking.
While Erza may put up a front of not caring, she was supposedly the 'inside' spy as many didn't think she cared about couples.
But yeah, currently she was focused on the new arrivals.
There was a guild conference being held at Fairy Tail to discuss what was going to happen for the mage display at Fiore's 50 anniversary.
First to come was Blue Pegasus. Erza was strangely absent and most girls crowded around the boys. Every gender avoided Ichiya.
Next to come was Sabertooth.
Cana watched in amusement as she watched the supposedly emotionless Rogue light up at the sight of Gajeel before reverting his face to blank.
She also noticed a certain Saber celestial mage looking like a lovesick puppy whenever she looked at a Sting.
Hmm, next time she needs money she can go to Mira to report this.
"Guys just saying, this offer is completely true," Mira nodded.
Happy suddenly smirked.
More than half of Fairy Tail shuddered in horror.
Hmm what was this next guild again? Puppy something, Puppy uhh, ah Quarto Puppy.
Wait, there was someone special in the guild. Uhh, hmm. Eh she must've been too drunk to remember.
The guilds were shocked as suddenly all the members of Quarto Cerberus appeared before their eyes.
Most of the members were in, ahem, interesting positions.
Bacchus had his hand extended as if to reach for something. Everyone just assumed alcohol before surveying the others.
Rocker had a back scratcher and was rubbing his back as he whined like a dog.
He quickly stopped once he realized he was in public.
Goldmine was barking at something before seeing that his location had changed.
Others were in even worse positions that no one really wanted to talk about.
One turned bright red before searching for clothes. Fairy Tail was unfazed due to Gray but every other guild averted their eyes as soon as possible.
"Uh, would someone like to explain to me why we are in Fairy Tail?" Goldmine asked.
"You're here to join our fanfiction party of course!" Mirajane happily said, "your guild was in the story so I brought you over with the help of Mest!"
"Uh ok…"
"Just saying Mira, we're going to need a lot more alcohol now," Lucy whispered, pointing to Bacchus.
"Don't worry, I have my special alcohol stock for times like this," Mirajane said before opening a set of doors.
It room was almost glowing as it revealed at gigantic room filled to the brim with barrels of alcohol.
Jaws dropped before someone shouted, "How in the world does Fairy Tail pay for this much booze?!"
Makarov cackled before responding, "We may skimp on certain costs, but never on the price of alcohol!"
The guilds sweat dropped before looking forward to hear the story.
She saw a guy with slicked back hair and a gourd. By the way his eyes zeroed in on the bar, she knew she would have to guard her alcohol.
As more guilds trickled in, the representatives of each guild went to another room to plan.
The rest of the people hung out around the guild, talking to friends or making new ones.
Mirajane soon walked up to the microphone and proclaimed that they should do a talent show or something to entertain everyone.
Fairy Tail moaned as Gajeel got up to play his guitar and Sabertooth watched in fear as Orga joined him. (A/N: Seriously though, imagine if these two paired up)
More than a few eardrums broke that day.
After Erza threatening to cut of limbs unless the two evacuated the stage, soon the room was silent, everyone fearing who next would brave the stage.
Next up Mirajane came up to sing and people sighed in happiness as music graced their ears instead of whatever Gajeel and Orga played.
Next up was Vijeeter, as he did "interpretive dancing."
Bisca and Azlack came up and did sharp shooting without magic.
As acts passed Cana grew more and more uninterested until she heard her name.
"Cana!"
She glanced up to find that guy with the slicked back hair looking at her.
Hmm if he knew her name, she must know him from somewhere.
She wracked her brain and came upon the night she lost a drinking challenge.
She flared up thinking of that. He had the audacity to call her?!
"What say you and I have a rematch?"
She stood up, her stool falling over.
"Deal."
"Oho, but Cana you got creamed last time. You are sooo losing!" Natsu cackled.
Cana glared at him before pulling out her cards.
She pulled one from the deck and smirked.
"Well, your fortune says that you're about to get crushed soon."
She pulled out another card and threw it towards Erza who wasn't paying attention.
It turned into fire and incinerated the cake in front of her.
"I ONLY KNOW TWO PEOPLE HERE WHO USE FIRE. ROMEO ISN'T ENOUGH OF AN IDIOT TO HURT MY CAKE. NATSUUUUUUUUUUU!"
Cana looked at the crushed dragon slayer on the floor and smiled at a job well done.
Cana lumbered to the stage.
She gave Mira a thumbs up and soon barrels of alcohol were being brought to the stage.
The guilds switched between talking and watching as the contest continued for a long time.
Finally, someone collapsed.
The guilds looked up, expecting to see Cana.
To their surprise, both were on the floor, passed out.
"In order to see who won, we will have a playback."
Mira tapped a lacrima and it showed what happened in slow motion.
Milliseconds before Cana dropped her barrel, Bacchus faltered first.
"The winner is Cana!"
Fairy Tail cheered, waking up the two mages passed out on the stage.
"Mira," Cana asked groggily, "who won?"
"You did!" Mirajane beamed.
"Ha good," Cana said before passing out again.
"Gotta give it to her, that girl can hold booze," Bacchus said before following suit and collapsing to the floor.
"Ehe, but not as much as I can!" Bacchus shouted before grabbing a barrel.
"Why you…" Cana said, reaching for a barrel.
They almost started a legitimate competition but a few scary glances for Mira and they drank without looking at each other.
The two mages were pulled of the stage and put in the infirmary so they could sleep.
When they woke up and went downstairs, most of the guild was gone except the core members of each guild.
They had just finished planning the display when the pair reached the guild hall.
"Oi, in order to celebrate and relax, we will play some games."
"Oooh, we should do Never Have I Ever!"
"Nah Jenny, let's play Truth or Dare!"
The guilds agreed on this so the round began.
"I dare Lucy to punch Flame Brain!" Gray laughed.
Lucy pulled her arm back and slammed her fist into Natsu's face. "Lucy punch!"
Natsu's head whipped back before he turned to Gray and launched himself at him.
"Uh uh, you can't retaliate Nastu," Erza growled, picking him up by his vest and placing him back in his spot.
"Fine," he huffed.
Lucy went next, "uh Rogue, truth or dare?"
"I would pick dare, but I do not wish to attain bodily harm as I have often seen Fairy Tail mages dare each other. Truth."
"Who do you love more than anyone else?"
"Fro," he answered immediately.
"Huh, I suppose that was a wasted question," Lucy sighed.
The festivities continued and soon Cana found herself at the chopping block.
"Truth or Dare?" Mirajane smirked.
Cana knew the worst thing to happen to you was to be at the end of Mirajane's question. Pick truth and you spill who you like. Pick dare and you fall to one her matchmaking plans.
She weighed the question in her mind before picking truth, knowing it was safest question.
"Who do you like?" Mira smirked, "and I don't mean like. I mean like like."
Cana smirked at her foresight before responding, "I don't do love but I do love the male gender," she said with a wink.
"Why did she wink?" Wendy asked.
"Uhh…"
No one responded and Wendy suddenly found the guild empty.
Yukino walked up to her and said, "you'll understand one day."
People emerged from their hiding spot, thankful for Yukino's diplomatic response.
"Well let's continue shall we!" Mara said, trying to change the topic.
Mirajane whined at the response, and tried asking another one before being reprimanded by Erza.
Soon it was Bacchus' turn. Just as he was about to go the doors burst open and in walked Gildarts.
"Canaaaaa!" he shouted running to her and picking her up.
She put on a face of annoyance but on the inside she was glad to see her dad.
"Who is this?" Bacchus asked gruffly.
"Meet my annoying parent, Gildarts," Cana said to the guilds.
"Gildarts?! WHERE?! FIGHT ME!"
"Natsu, I don't understand how you have managed to make it through life. Nor do I know how you think so fast in fights. IT'S A STORY, HE'S NOT HERE!" Lucy screamed.
"Geez Luce, you didn't have to shout."
"UGH!"
"The Gildarts!" someone shouted.
"Yes Jenny," Cana sneered.
"Gildarts! Fight me!" Natsu said launching himself at the man.
The twin dragons watched in shock as one of their idols was easily beaten.
"So, I heard there was a gathering of the guilds," Gildarts said.
"Yup, we are deciding a display for Fiore's anniversary," Erza said.
"Ah, well I decided if everyone was gathered… I could find the bastard who took Cana's top at the Grand Magic Games," Gildarts growled.
Bacchus visibly paled. He knew this mage, Gildarts was not just famous in Magnolia. He was screwed.
"Eh, it's ok. I beat the genius in another drink of."
"But but Cana. I must defend your honor!"
"No humph."
"But," he whined.
"I'd rather you not kill other guilds' members and start a war so no," Cana replied.
Gildarts huffed before leaving the guild to visit his house.
The members of the guilds decided to end the night there and went to their sleeping arrangements.
As morning arose and members sleepily trickled into the guild, someone came bursting in.
"A group of dark guilds are attacking!"
Makarov moaned before getting up, "Why would they attack now when all of the guilds are assembled?" he questioned.
Goldmine stood up too. "It doesn't matter right now. Quarto Cerberus, get ready to fight!"
Guild leaders began shouting orders and soon it was Sabertooth, Blue Pegasus, Quarto Cerberus, Fairy Tail, Mermaid Heel, and Lamia Scale versus a handful of dark guilds.
"State your purpose!" Makarov shouted.
Someone from the opposing side stepped forward. "We are members of both dark guilds which you guilds have destroyed in the past or members of current dark guilds. If you a curious as to why we attacked you all when you were together it was so we could destroy you all in one go!"
The legal guilds shouted their anger at the insult before Makarov held up his hand.
"If it is a battle you want, you shall have. Just don't come crying when you lose."
"Oho, it seems we are being underestimated!" the man shouted to the dark guilds.
The shouted before lurching forward to attack.
Magic began flying everywhere.
The dark guilds seemed to have completely underestimated the power of the guilds until ten mages appeared from the back of the ranks.
Each seemed to be a wizard yielding a type of take over magic.
There was a man that was similar to a lion who spoke, "I am the Nemean Lion."
He had whiskers on his face and his hair was shaggy, similar to Loke's, yet he had a full mane.
He then proceeded to attack Erza.
Erza quickly summoned her swords and began her counterattack only to find her weapon had no impact on the man.
"Haha, magic or mortal weapons have no effect on me!" He then proceeded to viciously destroy her armor.
She jumped back and Natsu tried to take her place only to find a rune barrier.
"This fight shall be me versus Titania. No one can interrupt." The two continued to battle it out.
Then the next of the ten mages stepped forward.
He had scales along his body and he was tall and thin. He walked with a grace unseen in average humans.
"I am known as the King of Snakes, none other than the Basilisk." The snake like man proceeded to launch himself at Evergreen. "We shall see which mage rules stone."
The battle was once again barred to other mages. People watched in trepidation as Evergreen's attack bounced of the thick skin of the snake-like mage. But others calmed when they saw her attacks slowly but steadily do damage.
The main problem was how long she would be able to keep it up.
The next mage to step up was a bird-like woman. She wore a long yellow cloak and protruding from her hair was golden feathers.
Mages of all guilds watched in anticipation to which mage would be chosen to duel the mage.
She suddenly flew at Juvia who quickly got into fighting position.
"I am a thunderbird. You shall fall to my thunder, water woman."
Other guilds grumbled about how Fairy Tail always got the cool battles before returning to the battle.
Juvia was on the losing side, her element weak against the thunder. She refused to give up though and pretended as if her Gray-sama was in trouble in order to focus.
And she soon had her fear appear as the next monster attacked none other than Gray.
She was similar to a mix of snake, fish, and dragon. Her body was covered in armored blue scales.
Her eyes were slits as she breathed fire at Gray. "I am Leviathan. Prepare for your death, ice mage."
"Hah, Natsu's fire is hotter than yours." They too began to duke it out.
Next was another lion type male. Sprouting from his back was a scorpion like tail.
"I hear there is another with poison. My opponent shall be the she-devil of Fairy Tail."
Mirajane stepped forward. "Manticore, huh?"
"You are correct" he bowed before attacking.
Next was a man with shaggy hair sporting a single eye. He was tall and wore a dark cloak.
"I am Balor. I sometimes represent fortune and luck. I would like to fight Fairy Tail's fortune teller."
Cana gulped before stepping forward and fanning her cards in preparation.
He pulled out a large sword and began attacking as Cana tried to stay out his range.
Most of the dark guilds had been defeated with the exception of the powerful ten mages, so people stood and watched.
With alarm, Bacchus noted that Cana was fighting. "Oi, Cana, if you get out of that thing alive, I challenge you to another drinking contest!"
"Idiot, why are you telling me this now?!" she grunted, getting hit by an attack.
"Figured you might as well have something to look forward to in order to give you incentive to win."
"Just shut up."
Mira squealed. "He just asked her on a date!"
"Oh joy," Cana said before returning to her drink.
"Wait, Bacchus is surprisingly calm and not responding to his appearance in this," Goldmine said.
The guilds looked over to the mage only to find him snoozing.
Everyone stepped back in fear as Mirajane's eye twitched.
"I'll be right back," she smiled, before picking him up by his collar and dragging him to another room. "Do continue!"
Everyone shakily returned to the story, hoping to drown out the screams.
Next to step forward was a man similar to the Leviathan. A slimy tail that resembled an eel protruded from him and it lashed threateningly.
"I wish to fight the mage who owns the cat that consumes many fish. I am Abaia and I shall protect my fellow water animals."
"EHHH, you want to fight me because of Happy! Not fair! All the other mages were handpicked!" Natsu whined.
The creature ignored Natsu and launched at him, shooting water. "Your fire shall fall prey to my water."
A short man stepped up next covered in armor and weapons. "I shall fight the lighting dragon, and slay it with the weapons I have created. Lighting has no effect on earth."
The dwarf stepped forward as Laxus responded. "You clearly failed to see my battle against Jura, a wizard saint of earth whom I defeated."
Somewhere on the battlefield, Jura sneezed.
Next a man in a hooded cloak carrying a scythe walked forward. "My opponent is the maiden of the stars that carries the leader of the constellations."
Lucy stepped up, "seriously?! Not only do I get literally death himself, the Grim Reaper, but between the two celestial wizards I get picked?!"
The man twirled his scythe before attack and Lucy quickly pulled out her whip and keys.
The final mage to step forward was similar to Capricorn except brown. "I am Bonnacon. My acid shall melt the iron dragon."
"Eh, I don't think I've heard of you. What's your magic?" Gajeel asked.
The man pulled out a bag. "I produce my dung in acidic form."
"Uh, I don't think I heard you right," Gajeel said.
"No you did, my dung is quite acidic."
"HAHA, Gajeel always gets the weirdos!" Natsu laughed.
The rest of the guilds were also laughing at the Iron mage's predicament.
"Shut up!" he huffed before retreating to his corner with a frown.
"You gotta be fucking kidding me. Why do I always get the weirdos? Seriously, did I do something wrong?" he huffed before attacking.
The battles began to finish in the order they started.
Erza, using her sword, managed to dislodge one of the claws of lion. The claws could cut through anything and she used that to win.
Evergreen managed to hit the basilisk in the eye with her magic causing it to go berserk with anger and lose focus leading to her eventual win.
No one quite to this day knows how Juvia won. Something about love rival and Gray-sama.
Gray won out of pure practice with Natsu, who's fires were the hottest Gray had ever encountered. He quickly beat the Leviathan commenting on its weak fire.
Sadly for the Manticore, it did not realize that Mirajane could consume poison. It quickly lost as poison attacks were its main form of magic.
Cana managed to win using her combination of cards to produce the spell Thunderbolt's Fate and electrocuted the Balor after weakening him with many ranged attacks.
Natsu was so angry that he didn't get handpicked that he practically flayed the Abaia and he almost served the poor fish to Happy before being stopped by Erza.
Laxus beat the dwarf on strength as the dwarf seriously underestimated Laxus. It didn't help that the man's body was small, meaning more electricity in a concentrated point.
Lucy managed to team up with Loke and used her whip to hold the scythe steady while Loke used his magic to defeat the mage.
Gajeel flat out refused to get hit by any of his opponent's attacks and avoided them all before quickly knocking the Bonnacon with his attacks.
Once the battles were all done, the guilds wearily claimed their victory and trudged back to Fairy Tail just as the Magic Council came.
"I swear they wait for the legal guild to win the overall battle before jumping in so they don't fight," Levy grumbled.
Bacchus quickly located Cana, "so about that competition."
"Eh, let's not, you can be my drinking 'buddy'!" she cackled.
No one quite knows how much alcohol Bacchus and Cana consume or what exactly they do, but the two mages frequently meet up to drink alcohol together.
Needless to say, once the two hit a place, the bar never has any alcohol left.
"What, that was the ending?!" Mirajane cried, "where was the romance, the kiss"
"Er, I think it was implied," Lissana said, trying to comfort the crying mage.
"Oh, by the way Mira, where's Bacchus?" someone asked.
"Uh, probably crawling his way up to infirmary!" she smiled.
A shudder went through the guild.
Dear god this was a long chapter. Plus I legitimately had to look up mythological creatures for this. And they are all true. Yes, an acid pooping horse myth does it exist. Look it up. You won't regret it.