I slipped through the apartment door. My father was working at the table. I hoped that if I was quiet enough, he wouldn't notice me. But he did.
"How did the test go?" he asked me without looking up.
"Fine. Dauntless, as expected," I told him. I was still shaking.
He stood up and looked at me, hard.
"Were you afraid?" he said. He saw the look in my eyes: terrified.
"I was afraid," I said, pinching myself to contain it, but it came out anyway, "I was afraid of losing her."
"What?" he said, slamming his hands down on the table, "You what?"
"She was going to transfer to Amity, and I panicked, and I didn't tell you…"
His hard expression softened. He looked like the father I should've had.
"I was scared too. Scared they would discover me. My father made me...made me get Abnegation. He whipped me until I...until I cooperated with his measures," he said.
"I was afraid of Marcus."
He took off his shirt to reveal hundreds of lines carved down his back. Scars. Scars of the past.
I hugged him. The bit of Abnegation left in him hesitated, but then embraced it. I breathed the first breath of relief since before the test.
"I don't think it's much of a decision. Go hang out with your friends," Tobias told me. I raced toward the door, feeling happier than ever.
"Hey! Wait up!" I called after my friends.
We were racing down to the chasm. I felt wild and free, relieved that I had found a true home in Dauntless.
We arrived down at the same spot Sophia took me to before. We laughed and smiled.
"Dauntless forever?" Jax asked.
"Dauntless forever!" I finished.
We cheered. I was relieved.
"Get up, will ya?"
I woke up in the chasm. I was drunk last night and must have finally collapsed.
"Choosing ceremony's today, Big Dawg!" Jax said to Dustin.
Jax kicked me in the side and I groaned.
"Fine fine," I said.
We all made our way back to our apartments. I put on a black leather jacket and black ripped jeans. My father had a black blazer on with black dress shoes and black pants. Presidential outfit.
All of the Dauntless made their way to the late, I liked to call it. We jumped on the train. My father was in the car next to me.
I was in the car with all of the 16 year olds. It was silent the entire ride to the Hub.
We finally arrived at the Hub. We jumped. The older Dauntless cheered. I was silent.
We ran passed the Amity into the line and threw the doors open. We ran, jumping over the seats, standing on the chairs. I felt nervous, unlike the other times I had run. I knew what I was going to choose, but it didn't feel right. My father looked at me as I sat down and made a small gesture to his back. You can choose your future, he seemed to say, choose right.
"Hello, and welcome to this years choosing ceremony!" Max bombed. The Abnegation clapped respectfully and the Dauntless whooped and hollered until their throats were raw.
The faction presidents gave some introductory speeches that I didn't pay attention to until the Amity president said, "It is now time to choose your faction!"
I sat up straight and waited.
Dauntless went first. My father stepped up to the stage and announced the names, one by one.
"Dustin Agar," Tobias said.
He walked up Tobias, grabbed the knife, and cut his hand. He walked over to the Dauntless bowl and let his blood drip. The Dauntless cheered. He smiled as he walked back to his seat.
"Jax Dopramo."
Dustin pats him on the back and smiles as he sprints up to the stage. Ignoring the knife that was held out to him, he bites his own skin and let's the blood fall into the Dauntless bowl. The Dauntless go nuts. He rips his shirt and wraps the cloth around his hand that is gushing blood.
"Brady Rado."
Blaze.
Blaze grabbed the knife, a bit unnatural. He had never been good with weapons. He took a deep breath. He walked over to the Erudite bowl.
"The future belongs to those who know," he said, "I want to know."
His blood dripped into the Erudite water, turning it red. The Dauntless were silent. The Erudite clapped politely.
"Sophia Pedrad."
My heart beat fast. She slowly walked up to Tobias. Tobias gave her a look that said, stay for him, stay for him. I could almost hear what she was thinking, stay or go?
She cut herself with the knife. Her eyes darted between the Amity and Dauntless bowls. She bit her lip and walked over to the Dauntless bowl. She held her hand out in front of the Dauntless bowl, but just as the blood was about to drip, she mover her arm over to the Abnegation bowl and let the blood fall.
"No!" I screamed.
I shook with rage, fear, and sadness as I looked over at Zeke. He was with Shauna, staring at their daughter in shock. She slowly walked to the Abnegation without looking at me.
"Aaron Eaton."
I shivered at the sound of my full name. I looked over at Sophia. She looked straight ahead, not looking at anything. She definitely wasn't going to meet my eyes.
I looked at Max. He was in front of me, holding the knife out, a sly smile on his face as if he knew my life had just fallen apart. I grabbed the knife from him, my dark expression unchanged. I cut my skin. Should I join Abnegation for her and leave my father? Should I stay? I didn't know. I walked over to the Dauntless bowl. I looked back at Sophia, tears filling my eyes. She couldn't meet my gaze. I looked back at my hand and let my blood fall onto the coals. I felt the steam from the fire rise up in me, filling every part of me as the Dauntless cheered.
I was home.
She was free.
All of the other factions went. One by one, people cut their hand with the knife. By the end of the Choosing Ceremony, five smartass Erudite, two loudmouth Candor, and three Abnegation had transferred to Dauntless. As the Dauntless ran out of the building, I looked for Sophia but never saw her.
We climbed to the train tracks.
"Okay, initiates. This is your first test. Those who can't get on the train are out," my father said as he ran his fingers across his throat.
"How do we get on?" asked one of the Abnegation transfers.
"We jump," I said with a smirk.
The train came around the corner. My father pointed to the sky, signaling for the train to not slow down fully. A challenge for the initiates. I looked over at him. He felt empty, as if his body was hollow, as if a piece of him was missing that could never be found again.. He missed her.
He thought about her in that moment, as he did every year.
The Dauntless ran with the train. The initiates, confused, waited a moment before they realized what jump meant.
I swung myself into the third car with all of the other initiates. The transfers watched us in awe. The Candor and Abnegation got the hang of it, but some of the Erudite were struggling. I sighed. The Abnegation my father passed down to me reacted, and I stretched out my hand to one of them.
"Give me your hand!" I yelled at the boy.
He reached out. The tunnel was coming fast. I reached further. His sweaty hand grabbed mine, and I yanked him into the car. The Erudite boy said nothing.
"Shit, I almost lost my arm for you and you don't give a damn about it!" I demanded. The Dauntless around me snickered at the Erudite.
"I'm quite sorry, and quite offended by your use of language!" the Erudite boy exclaimed. Now the Dauntless were laughing. I Laughed with them.
"Well, I guess I won't be staying long," he said, brushing off his blazer.
"Good luck being Factionless!" I said, and turned to the friends I had left.
The train ride to Dauntless HQ was short. We rounded the corner, and the building appeared in sight. The landing platform. All new initiates were expected to jump and land on the platform. As soon as the first car jumped, I sneered at the Erudite that had mouthed off.
"They're-jumping?" he asked in astonishment.
I snorted.
"Hell yeah!" I said, and put my arm around my friends.
I had jumped this before. It was second nature to roll out of the jump onto the gravel. But I had never done it without Sophia. A lump formed in my throat as Jax said, "Together!"
"One," I said shakily.
"Two," Dustin said.
"Three!" Jax finished.
Without another glance back at the Erudite boy, I launched myself out of the car. I whooped as I rolled out of the jump and appeared right behind my father who was making his way up to the front. I was eager to be the first jumper, thought I had jumped it so many times before.
"The next test and the way into Dauntless is beyond this ledge," my father said.
"Wait, you have to jump?" a Candor questioned.
My father ignored the remark and kept going.
"Being the first jumper is a huge honor. Do we have any volunteers?"
My hand shot straight up as I said, "I'll go."
The Dauntless cheered as I stepped onto the ledge. My father raised his eyebrows at me. I shook my hands out.
I looked down. I knew there was a net at the bottom, but the hole looked smaller and darker than usual. You're being silly, Aaron. Just jump, I told myself. I took a deep breath and jumped off the ledge. I looked down and was afraid that I had overshot it, but seconds later I felt the net hit my back.
"Welcome back," said a female voice. She could see my black clothing.
She lowered the net.
"What's your name?" she asked me.
I knew the drill. I could pick a nickname if I wanted to. I had thought about it during the Choosing Ceremony.
"Ace," I said.
"Ace, first jumper!" the Dauntless woman said.
I whooped, and my friends looked over the edge. I waved at them, feeling the dry blood on my hand from the knife.
The nickname wasn't just to remind me of the knife. It was to remind me of her.