Killian is sitting on a bench in the changing room after having a practice of ice hockey with his older brother Liam. When they were younger both the brothers used to want to play with the NHL but yet both ended up going to the army to fight for their country.

"I beat your ass you there baby brother." Liam comes out of the shower room with a towel wrapped round his waist acting all cocky.

"Little brother and I haven't played hockey in a few years so I guess I'm rusty." He corrects him but yet still feeling annoyed his older brother beat him. Liam was always better at everything, he was the better brother.

"Either way I still beat your ass." Liam smirks back, while heading to his locker to get his clothes out.

Killian shakes his head then runs his hands through his wet hair pushing it back to make it look half decent. He then stands up and heads to the locker next to Liam also gathering his clothes. As he does he checks his phone first for any messages. He hits the button on his mobile and a number he hasn't got saved on his phone has text him.

I thought you should know, Emma past away last night.

Killian stares at the message in shock. She can't be dead she is still so young. His hand starts to shake and he can feel his throat drying up and tears forming in his eyes.

Liam is rambling on then he notices Killian has froze to the spot.

"What's wrong?" Liam was concerned he could tell something was wrong that he gotten some sort of news that wasn't good.

Killian clears his throat. "Emma." he just about gets her name out.

"Did she text you?" he asks.

Killian shakes his head. "No, someone got my number somehow and told me...she past away last night." he said saddened.

Liam comes over and places his hand on Killian back. "I'm sorry brother."

Killian moves his body so Liam's hand isn't touching his back anymore.

"It's ok." he gives his brother a fake smile and then he grabs his clothes and heads to a near by cubical.

When he gets inside the cubical he throws his clothes onto the ground, and leans his head against the door. His thoughts turning to Emma, how things ended between them how he never told her how he felt about her. He felt like the walls of the cubical were closing in on him, he needed to get dressed quick and get out of the place before he would burst. He needed to get away from Liam as much as he loves his brother he didn't want to discuss Emma's death with him right now.

Killian hits an Irish pub in New York. He is pissed. This is the first time he'd been drunk like this in years.

He leans over the bar and shouts to get the bar man's attention. "Mate another Rum." he slurs.

"Jones."

Killian nearly jumps up out of his seat. He knows that voice how the heck did she find him here.

"How did you." Killian ask's Elsa as she comes up to him at the bar looking very angry.

"How did I know. Well your a Jones I know both you and your brother well enough." Elsa folds her arms and taps her foot. Killian notices she is talking to him the way she does when she is telling of her sons.

"Get up and get home now your turning back into a drunken mess after doing so well." she continues to nag on at him.

"It's only one time, and I have a reason." he assumes that Liam has already told her about Emma.

"Yeah, and it only takes one time to fall into the way of it again." Elsa grabs of collar of his leather jacket and pulls him off his seat and through the bar with people staring at them until they get out to the front.

"Look at you Killian, this isn't the way to remember Emma, this is what stopped you from going back to her, being the drunk bum that would be no good for her." she gives it to him straight not holding back.

Killian snaps shouting at her. "What else can I do...I can't redeem myself can I...she..she is dead...gone and I won't see her again!"

Killian's anger then bubbles into tears as he finally breaks down.

"I'll never be able to tell her I love her, that I've never stopped loving her." he falls to his knees on the pavement no caring what anyone else around him thinks.

Elsa eventually gets Killian back home to his little apartment. She has talked him into going to the funeral telling him she will sort it all and it would be a good way to say goodbye to Emma.

Killian heads to the closet in his room, and switches on the light and pulls out a cardboard box with the name Emma written on it in sharpie.

He opens it pulls out a sweatshirt that once belonged to Emma. He sniffs it hoping to be able to remember her scent but there is no longer a smell left on it that remind him of her. He then finds photos of the two of them in Storybrooke together, and group photo of David, Mary, Emma and him in Granny diner. He'd give anything to go back to those days they were some of the best days of his life mostly cause they were with Emma.

Next he pulls out a chain with a engagement ring on it. He bought the ring a year after being together with Emma, but he never once gave her it because he knew he needed to get her walls down to completely trust him before he could give her the ring. He planned after his one year tour with the army that he would return and ask her but before he left there relationship had taken a turn for the worst.

Killian falls back onto his bed. He never returned to Storybrooke after the army. He gave up fighting to be with her to easily. He realised that further down the line in life when he planned to win her back but he had already started to spiral down the road of alcoholism just like this father and that's not what Emma needed.