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"What do you think?"
"I think we are in serious trouble."
The two men stared out the window of their conference room. The focus of their concern was the department store opposite. The not particularly friendly rivalry between the two retailers was always bad and now it was that time of year.
That time when every single company was relentlessly gouging, cajoling and emotionally blackmailing as many people as possible into wasting hard earned money in an empty effort to fill their meaningless lives with useless unwanted gifts and stuffing themselves with excessive amounts of overcooked turkey.
In other words, it was Christmas.
The two men continued to watch as a second fifty foot Norwegian Spruce was carefully placed next to the main entrance. The first was already standing and a small army of people were decorating it with carefully chosen, colour co-ordinated decorations. In the windows were displays of Father Christmas', Snowmen and a life size Nativity Scene, all in handcrafted wood.
"They've gone full traditional," grumbled the older man, glass of scotch in hand and several nearly full bottles reassuringly close by.
"It's the smart move," he continued in a grudging tone. "Only a year since the uncertainty of the war and our introduction to the 'brave new galaxy' people want the reassurance that some things don't change." He drained his glass and moved for a refill.
"How do we respond?"
The other man, Jennings had said nothing for a while. He looked down at his papers checking and rechecking his calculations.
"Well we can't afford to match them, even if we had the time."
"Obliviously"
"Then we need to take the risk. Go in the opposite direction, a bold new vision of Christmas for a bright new age!"
The executive necked his drink, mulling over his subordinates' proposal, it could go badly wrong but there again doing a smaller, cheaper, imitation of their rivals would only guarantee defeat in that most important of annual retail battles.
"Alright, get your plans in order. I want the pitch ready in twenty four hours!"
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Xellyn had greatly enjoyed his last few months on earth. He loved his English Literature and Drama course and the social life on campus had been exhilarating, if a little exhausting. Even his down time he had been immersed in classic human activities, although he was still smarting about his defeat. He would get revenge on that damned Hanar if took him twenty re-matches. Sadly, though trampling people with Carthaginian War Elephants was not his biggest concern right now.
Xellyn had come face to face with the unavoidable truth of virtually every student; he was running out of money. He had tried to be careful but he was a growing boy who liked good food and plenty of it, and that was not including the drinking. His family had very reluctantly gone along with his plan to study on Earth but he seriously doubted he could get away with asking for more money, again.
Fortunately, he was not alone.
His flatmate and fellow drama student, a hyperactive Asari maiden called Galleora, had also been looking for extra funds, and sure enough one evening she came bounding into the kitchen with huge grin waving a piece of paper in his face.
"I've found the perfect job! For both of us! See? Non humans wanted! In the city! And best of all it'll be great practice for our course!"
Xellyn would have liked to ask what this job actually was but getting a word in when Galleora was excited was impossible.
"Only thing is the deadlines today... so we better get moving!"
Xellyn was promptly pushed out the door.
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Three days later...
"He, He, He, your costume is so silly!" giggled Galleora.
Xellyn would like to have responded but he was trying to control his chronic stage fright, it was the same with every production and it seemed this job was no different.
"Though I suppose mine is just as strange," she continued looking at herself in the mirror, "These things are really uncomfortable," pointing to her large fake ears that had been rather securely attached to her head. "I don't know how humans manage them, why don't they have a completely internal auditory system like a normal species?"
Xellyn didn't hear any this. He was sure he'd forget his lines.
"I also asked if my skirt was meant to be this short but apparently it's 'for the fathers'. Not that I mind that of course."
He felt like he was about to throw up.
"What odd customs these humans have, although I do like the idea of getting presents every year!"
She turned to look at him.
"Hey, don't be nervous! We still have plenty of ti-"
"We're opening the doors, places everyone!"
Xellyn gulped but Galleora patted him on the shoulder and they stepped out behind the curtain.
They found themselves surrounded by multicoloured lights, fake snow and a small crowd of people. The banner above them read;
Have an out of this world Holliday!
Xellyn took a deep breath...
"With seasonal cheer: Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas."
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"With despair: that was the worst performance I've ever done."
Naturally his Asari friend was the eternal optimist.
"Oh it wasn't that bad!"
"With depressed frustration: half the children burst into tears."
"Mr Jennings says that happens every time. That's why I had that sack of confectionary, to keep them nice and quiet."
"With resignation: and the other half just stared at me."
"Well you are the first ever Elcor Santa. They were bound to be surprised. That was the point."
"With grim foresight: after that performance I will probably be the last."
"Oh come on if we were that bad we would already have been fired. Besides, you had at least one fan."
Xellyn looked at the piece of paper he had been given just before closing time. It showed a large grey blob in the centre with red scribbles around it and rough red triangle on top of the blob. At the top in large, unconnected letters, it said 'Merry Christmas Elephant Santa'. Just beneath it in smaller, considerably neater handwriting, it said 'Sorry she means Elcor'. In bottom corner it was signed Sally, aged five.
"With attempted happiness; that is something I suppose."
"You see? You got a present as well!"
"With Confusion: As well? What did you get?"
"A few phone numbers," there was saucy look on her face. "It seems my short skirt attracts mothers and fathers. I might see if I can keep this elf costume, it works wonders."
The Elcor shook his head.
"In a tone of friendly banter: you are insatiable."
"Hey, I'm an Asari Maiden. There are stereotypes about us that must be upheld, and I'm more than happy to do my part."
"With Deadpan Insinuation: I'm sure you are.
At this point Mr Jennings poked his head through the door, he was smiling.
"Excellent work both of you. A shaky start but we have people talking, so much so that the local news wants to do apiece tomorrow. Well done and be here same time tomorrow."
As they packed up Galleora could not stop smiling.
"See I told you that it would work out! Now let's go and spend our hard earned cash! Unless you have any more worries?"
"With Concern: Well now that you mention it this fake beard seems to be stuck, and it is very itchy."
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"Well how did we do?"
Jennings could smile at the figures.
"Sales up 10% over last year, and we outstripped our 'friends' across the road in both customers and profits. The media coverage had been even better; we've been getting orders from across Human and Citadel space since mid December."
The manager smiled, toasting an unexpected victory, repeatedly.
"Excellent, though next year we could easily do better with a little more planning. Any chance we could get that Elcor back?"
"I'm afraid not sir, I asked but he's planning to focus on acting. Xellyn said that he wanted to try some Shakespeare."
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