I know there is one question burning on all of your minds. The one thing that makes your tales curl with uncontainable curiosity...: how does a cat read braille? Well I'll tell you. I'm about to blow your mind. You read? Okay, her I go:
by rubbing a paw over the dots sticking off the paper and associating it with sentences that create the story. Mind blown yet? No? Oh fine, I'll just get on with the next chapter.
Chapter 2
Awww, poor Alderpaw is missing the nursery. The apprentice's den is so different from where he used to sleep. The moss, the dirt- even the bracken are sooooo different. *cough* sorry, internet sarcasm.
...
Why does Erin always make littermate so different from one another. Just look at Cinderpelt and Brackenfur when they were young. Or Squirrelflight and Leafpool. Or even me and my littermates. Erin went out of her way to make Alderpaw and Sparkpaw as different as possible, and I can only wonder where that will take them both.
...
Hang on a sec. You mean to tell me a whole day has already past since they were made apprentices and only now they are getting to go out and see the territory? The entirety of yesterday was spent cleaning up elder poops and putting mouse barf on ticks? Brightheart would approve... inside joke...
...
...trees stretched away in every direction, until they faded away into a shadowy distance.
I may not be all that great a writer, but I find some of the descriptions in this story to be a little off. Erin always describes things in excessive detail and after a while it can get old. I don't want a whole page of what shape the clouds are or whatever, thanks.
I know I wasn't as naïve as Alderpaw is when I was an apprentice... just saying.
...
"It leads to the old twoleg den where Leafpool and Jayfeather grow their herbs..."
Ahem, excuse me? That path leads to where I grow my herbs. It was my idea to start with and I take care of it. You make it sound like I'm still her apprentice...
...
He would never have believed there was this much water in the whole world.
*sigh* Really? It's just the lake. Honestly, has this apprentice been living under a rock? First he thinks there is an assessment to become an apprentice, and now this. I really don't like this character so far, it feels like Erin is making him stupid on purpose, but I don't know why.
...
Okay, I dislike Sparkpaw just as much so far. Erin has intentionally made her the opposite of Alderpaw and sacrificed genuineness for cheap contrast to Alderpaw's character. All Erin knows when writing apprentices is eager and bash versus timid and reflecting. I don't like...
...
"You should be able to pick up the ThunderClan scent markers too," Mousewhisker mewed. "We'll show you how to set them..."
You piss all over a bush. That's pretty much it.
...
Alderpaw and Sparkpaw stood side by side, their jaws wide open as they drew in air over their scent glands...
Interesting way of saying they tasted the air. Mmm, the taste of mouse on the taste glands in my mouth, oh yes, such great description... sorry, internet sarcasm again.
...
"What?! Sparkpaw catches a shrew on her very first try? Really!? That's bogus, no way she can do that unless she has some magical power like is able to run super fast or something. She must be part of a prophecy because only gifted cats can accomplish anything on their first day out in the forest...
...
Why is Alderpaw so much worse at everything than Sparkpaw? Oh no, is what I think going to happen actually going to happen. StarClan please no. I already had to go through that once myself, I couldn't bare to read about it again... Erin... please... I beg you...
...
And the next few pages is of Alderpaw feeling sad that he isn't as good a hunter as his sister. Nothing noteworthy for me to talk about.
...
Hey looky looky, it's Ivypool. First mention of her in this book but I bet she will have an important role in the story just like me. After all, we were main characters in the past so its not like Erin will just forget about us or make us useless background characters, right?
...
Okay, so I get that alderpaw sucks at hunting. But Erin is milking it so much as if she really is trying to kill Alderpaw's desire to be a warrior entirley. It's been seven pages since Sparkpaw caught her shrew, and we are still making a big deal over it. Wow, the chapter is done. Heh, okay.
My thoughts on the story so far: It's still pretty standard to the Warriors formula. So far, there isn't really anything that makes this story stand out from among the other Warriors stories. Hopefully Erin will bring more interesting elements to spice things up, but until then, Jayfeather out!