Welcome back, everypony *cough* everybody. Sorry, not sure where that came from, to another chapter filled with fun as I delve into the wonderful world of Warriors. I don't have anything else to say, so let's just dive right into chapter 3.
Chapter 3
And it's already half a moon later since the last chapter. Wow, time flies when you have no original or interesting content left to inject into chapters. Granted, in Into the Wild Erin also leapt forward in time with Firepaw's apprenticeship so it's not too astounding. Ughh, this far into his apprenticeship, the first words we hear about when it comes to his progress should not be about cleaning the elder's den. Come on, Erin, what is up with that?
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And Alderpaw still hasn't caught anything yet. But apparently his sister is doing fabulously. But just because she is brilliant at everything, doesn't mean I'm aweful... Um, sorry, friend, you really are the worst. Heck, you might make a better medicine cat at this point.
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Oh, it's a Gathering chapter. Those are always fun to read. Good job, Erin, page 38 and we're already getting a Gathering. Can't go wrong with Gatherings.
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And now we are talking about medicine cats... why? There are two fat paragraphs about RiverClan medicine cats that visited the camp moons ago, and it feels forced. I'm starting to worry, guys...
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Flinching at the hooting of an owl. Yeah, he is real warrior stock for sure... Oh wait it gets better. We have to hear him talk to Squirrelfight about owls huge enough to snatch up cats in stories. Great, just when I thought Alderpaw had grown a pair, he does this. I swear if the next paragraph has owls in it... okay it doesn't. Thank StarClan, these random non-sequiturs are annoying. Continue...
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Okay, the next few paragraphs isn't about owls, but about fireflies. Gotta love this filler when you are waiting for the actual meat of the chapter. Bring on the Gathering!
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Sorry, listening to Squirrelflight reprimand her kits and telling them they have to behave perfectly makes me laugh. Do you remember Midnight? Or even Moonrise?
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Oh, before we get there, I'll bet you a moon's worth of fresh-kill there will be a some sort of debacle at the tree-bridge. Erin can never resist making cats either fall off or almost fall off. I haven't read ahead, I'm just betting ahead of time.
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Okay, I take back my complaints about the random filler as we travel tot he Gathering. Most of the time, the books don't describe the trip to the island, but since this is the apprentice's first time, I guess it makes sense. We just passed the horseplace... marshy ground... and finally the tree-bridge. WindClan is already there. Here it comes...
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Oh shut your yap, Onestar, with your gruff manner. We all know you secretly love ThunderClan so stop trying to act cool in front of us. "I hope your warriors kept close to the lake when you passed through our territory." Pshhhhh. Load of mouse-dung that is. Hey Onestar, do you remember how we all foought together against the Dark Forest and even had cats from enemy Clans stationed in each other's camps during the fight? Yeah, you didn't care if they respected the border then, did you? No? I didn't think so.
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Ah, here it is: the crossing of tree-bridge... I wonder if any cat has ever fallen into the lake. That would be so embarrassing. Yes, Alderpaw, cats have. You probably will too... No? Damn, there goes a moon's worth of fresh-kill. You may have won this time, Erin Hunter, but I'll catch you out one of these times.
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"I've never seen so many cats!" I should have bet on that too. Dung, nub apprentices are always astonished by how many cats are at Gatherings. Soemthing along the lines of "Oh golly, I didn't even think there were that many cats in the whole world," or something like that. You know what I mean.
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Okay, who are we going to be flirting with this time? I may have missed the last betting, but this time I'm betting we are going to meet another young apprentice from another Clan, preferably of the opposite gender, and spend the rest of the Gathering with her. Calling it now!
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"I'm Needlepaw," the silver she-cat announced. "This is Sleekpaw and that's Beepaw." A she-cat you say? Oh isn't that convenient because Alderpaw is a tom... Okay, I'm cheating a little bit because I skimmed forward just to check how long we would be with this Needlepaw character and, yup, it was 59 paragraphs. All the way to the end of the chapter and we are still cuddled up snugly next to this she-cat. I won the bet this time, Erin and your clichéd predictability. Ha!
Okay, back in time to where we left off with Needlepaw. I don't want to skip anything good.
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I swear, this Beepaw, I keep reading it as Beerpaw, and I don't even know what a beer is. Eh, sorry, just me thinking about nonsense.
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Ok, now we are getting into the cat's version of racism. I really don't want to explain it, but if you have the book handy, start reading about half way down on chapter 47. Needlepaw is making stereoscopes about the other Clans- granted, most of them are accurate, but still.
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And Rowanstar is starting the Gathering, okay good. It's been a while since Bramblestar's Storm and I'm ready to find out what's been happening in the Clans. What? You think I already know since I actually live in the Clans? Nah, I left the main story arch after the end of The Last Hope when I discovered Erin Hunter was taking away my powers. The Jayfeather you are reading about in the book is a partially functional clone from the past that I put there while I starred in another book called Jayfeather's Conclusion. Don't believe me?
I still think Blackstar was a way cooler leader than Rowanstar. It will take some time to get used to the change. I mean, when Leopardstar died and Mistystar became leader, it was alright because Mistyfoot was still a character we all knew about and could relate to. But Rowanclaw or whatever his warrior's name used to be was just a random ShadowClan cat. Sure, he's Tawnypelt's mate, but that doesn't mean we know him as a character.
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Oh snap, speak of the devil. Needlpaw claims that Tawnypelt called WindClan weak. Has the cold north breeze chilled Bramblestar's sister's heart too? That sounds really out of character.
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Bramblestar is speaking now... he just announced Sparkpaw and Alderpaw's names to the rest of the Clans. Alderpaw is embarrassed- of course he is. Why be proud when you can look and sound like a wimpy loser?
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Needlepaw won't shut up. Every few sentences she speaks up to bad-mouth someone. When in doubt creating a new character, just make her sassy, snarky, and insensitive and voila! New 'interesting' character. Good work, Erin.
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Just a quick observation, there's a new apprentice in ShadowClan named Juniperpaw. It's a good thing Squirrelflight's kit, Junpierkit died, otherwise there would be two apprentices right now named Juniperpaw. It' still a terrible name...
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Now cat's are complaining that cats like Tigerheart are too young and inexperienced to be receiving apprentices of their own? What is this crap? They are plenty old. Besides, Firehearta nd Graytripe where just as young if not younger at the time when they received their first apprentices.
Remember? Yeah, Fireheart's apprentice nearly died on the thunderpath and Graytripe neglected his apprentice because he was always running away to be with Silverstream... Okay, maybe I see the point now.
But really, these cats are making a huge stink about this when it isn't unheard of for young successful warriors to be made apprentices early. Erin, why you making this all so awkward?
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We are making a point about how odd Needlepaw is. We keep bringing her up as if she is the main focus of this Gathering. Erin, you really aren't being subtle at all. This is exactly hat happened with Lionpaw and Heatherpaw back in the day and then again with Dovepaw and Tigerpaw.
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Oh, goody! They are talking about meeeeeee! So the medicine cats have something to say? Oh, they are going to talk about the shared vision they- we all had in the prologue of the book.
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The clamor grew louder and louder until Jayfeather stood up, lashing his tail. "For StarClan's sake, shut up and listen!" That totally sounds like something I would do! Oh, reading that gave me chills!... that's it? I'm not saying anything else? Sadface.
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Oh, I don't think I even mentioned the actual prophecy before so here it is. Embrace what you find in the shadows, for only they can clear the sky. Mysterious and vague as always. It obviously has something to do with ShadowClan because that's obvious.
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Ugghh, these cats are all clueless when it comes to prophecies. I love how somecat points out the prophecy could be referring to ShadowClan, and then instantly some ShadowClan elder is like: "What should be embraced is a bit more respect for senior warriors." Seriously? Can cats really be this dumb?
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Oh no it gets better, another cat is like, "I found some really beautiful blue feathers that I decorated my nest with in a shady glen. Do you think they could be important?" These cats are severely stupid. No, the prophecy doesn't have anything to do with some feathers you found!
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Okay, now everybody is spouting ideas. Of course they are. See, this is why one of the medicine cat rules is you don't expose a prophecy to the rest of the Clan until you have figured it out- otherwise this happens...
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Well, I get to talk a little bit more near the end of the chapter, sounding all smart and everything, but not much else happens. All the Clans know about the prophecy now, I don't know if that will vastly change the flow of the story or not, but they do. Note, Leafpool hasn't spoken a word this entire Gathering.
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Well that's it. The chapter ends with Leafpool staring intensely at our protagonist from the base of the Great Oak. Again, I don't know why she is doing that, but eh, Erin Hunter folks, Erin Hunter!