Chapter 6
And the first thing we read about in Chapter 6 is that the protagonist finally switches pov to Dovewing. It's about time we had a real cat to read about... nope... it's still Alderpaw. Did you believe me? You shouldn't have, Erin Hunter doesn't give two mousetails about Dovewing so neither should you.
The first few paragraphs are boring medicine cat stuffs, I'm not going to go into much detail. Leafpool is talking about how old Littlecloud is, and I am being sassy per usual.
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And conveniently, tonight is the half-moon gathering for the med cats, so we will all get to see just how decrepit Littlecloud really is. Oh joy. Perhaps a ThunderClan cat will be sleeping in ShadowClan tonight to help him with his med cat duties. Just a guess.
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Oh, and if you thought Alderpaw had grown a pair since he became a medicine cat's apprentice, think again. What will I say to them? I don't feel like I really belong with them. He's even a wus when it comes to med cat stuff. Oh, and Erin Hunter, I'm not a writer, but it really hurts a paragraph when you have two short sentences in succession end with the same word. Just pointing that out.
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The heck? Apparently we are running out of catmint even though in the prologue, it was made clear we had plenty of catmint. Lionblaze, have you been getting into the catmint stash and getting high again?
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The heck? And apparently there are moles in the garden now. It's not like the forest is crawling with mole-killing cats or anything... I really don't see the problem.
Oh, but Jayfeather, the prologue clearly says that they have plenty of catmint by the old twolegden. If it's being torn up by moles, then their actually is a catmint problem.
Typholius? Get out of my story and stop messing with my writing. Even if the moles are tearing it out, why not just gather it there? It's not like the leaves will be less fresh on the ground as they would in the med cat stores. I still think Erin is just making this up as a painfully obvious excuse to send some cat to another Clan to fetch some- and I bet Alderpaw will be going with. Plot trope.
Ok, Jayfeather, just making sure you tell the reader everything. Wouldn't want you to leave important stuff out.
Just leave.
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I'm so grumpy... all the time... I'm frankly getting bored of myself at this point. If there's one thing I can't stand reading about its static characters. If the character isn't going to change or grow in someway, I can't stand reading about him.
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Woah! POOF! We are now out of the camp and on the ShadowClan border. No page-break, or anything, just one paragraph the three med cats are chatting in the med den, then the next chapter Leafpool and Alderpaw are out of the camp.
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And they run into a ShadowClan patrol. Tigerheart thinks the two med cats might be stealing fresh-kill... *facepaw* of course he does. I can't think of a more lame, unoriginal, and standard way of having him react.
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Ooooh, and they are pulling out the 'you're related to Firestar' card now. Just when I thought it couldn't get any more unoriginal. This has been how ShadowClan reacts to ThunderClan for the past three series.
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no... no no. . . nononono damnit of course that Needlepaw character is with them. I should have guessed. Now Alderpaw and Needlepaw are chatting as if they are good friends... and Needlepaw is surprised when she finds out that our protagonist is a med cat. Is Needlepaw going to say anything about how ShadowClan's med cat is dying? No? Oh of course she won't. Erin Hunter has already made it clear for the reader to know that, so why would she make Needlepaw tell her new best friend anything about it. This is where logic and literature conflict.
And btw, there totally was subtle cat-flirting going on between them. I've read enough of these books to recognize it when I see it.
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And we are now on our way to the Moonpool. This chapter is all over the place.
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-he realized they were leaving behind not only just their own territory, but the territories of all the Clans, and setting off into the unexplored hills. They have been explored, Alderpaw. Maybe not by you, but plenty of cats have been to the Moonpool. Not everything is about you.
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Ha! Sorry, the next paragraph made me chuckle. Leafpool is trying to be modest as she describes how she is the one who discovered the Moonpool in the first place and how Spottedleaf guided her to it. And even better, Alderpaw is like "Wow, that means you're really special!" How come Leafpool gets to be special and all I ever get to be is grumpy?
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And Alderpaw is surprised at how well I can climb up to the Moonpool even though I'm blind. Huh, never heard that one before...
… And yes, Kestrelflight, it is odd that ThunderClan has three med cats now.
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!#$ing #$ % #$%%### DAMNIT. NO !#$%# $%^^$# DAMN WAY. REALLY? LEAFPOOL GETS TO BE THE ONE TO DO THE WHOLE MED CAT APPRENTICESHIP THING IN FRONT OF STARCLAN INSTEAD OF ME? !#$! Oh boy, that pisses me off so much. This means I will never. NEVER get to introduce my own apprentice to our ancestors. Who the ! #$ does Leafpool think she is? So special because she discovered the Moonpool that she gets to do the ceremony for two med cat apprentices. I'm so !#$ing tilted right now.
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In fact, the word "Jayfeather" isn't even used once on the same page. !#$ I'm not even mentioned at all for the rest of the entire chapter.
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Oh and look who it is to greet Alderpaw from StarClan. Woopty !#$ing dooda, it's !#$ing Firestar again. Because you know, my dear dead sister isn't good enough to greet my new apprentice. Has to be damn Firestar again.
…. And spolier alert, in case you haven't ever read a Warriors book before, Firestar is showing Alderpaw a vision about SkyClan. Yeah I read Firestar's Quest and all of the others so I know what's going on.
… And that's the end of the chapter. Alderpaw decides he really is meant to be a med cat now that he's had a vision. Or at least that's his initial thought, but of course he has to doubt himself and is like, "maybe it was just a weird dream." Yeah, when you've figured out your own head, Alderpaw, get back to me. I will be being grumpy and useless in the corner if you need me because, after all, Leafpool is the real ! #$ing medicine cat around here.