Welcome back, mouse-brains, to another installment of Jayfeather Reads. I know it got a bit dicey in the last chapter, and I apologize if I offended anybody. But damn it, I feel like the series has regressed so much since the glory days. Sure the story is very gorgeously written, but nothing is new or interesting. We just copying the plots and tropes of previous books and given a wimpy excuse for a cat as our protagonist. I don't care what WZRD LZRD says, this is a very bland and poorly conceived piece of literature.
Chapter 7
And as expected, Leafpool is mentioned before I am again in the chapter. Minor thing, I know, but when most of your life you've been belittled, put down, mocked, and devalued, sometimes it feels good to be the cat who's fought hard to get where he is. I was the medicine cat- the only medicine cat for ThunderClan, and it felt really good. Now, not only do I share the position with a cat who severely broke the warrior code, but I'm back to being the lesser cat, the inferior side character to the actual story who's only purpose it to be grumpy while losing all the qualities that made me interesting before. That's why I pick at small things like this..
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And we're back to talking about the dream from the last chapter. Of course Alderpaw has already dismissed it as just an ordinary dream(surprise surprise), oh wait no! He is just conveniently made not to believe it was real just so he doesn't tell me or Leafpool. It's not even worth telling Jayfeather and Leafpool about. They'd probably think I was crazy. No, Alderpaw, they would probably think you were a medicine cat's apprentice or something... oh wait, you are a med cat's apprentice.
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Alderpaw thinks way too much about things.
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And enter injured cat- Cherryfall! Welcome back to the med cat den. How convenient that both other medicine cats decided to go and collect herbs at the same time, that means we get to see if Alderpaw can apply some meds all by himself.
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Ok, so Cherrypaw says her paw still hurts and is wondering if he can take a look at it, and the sentence Alderpaw delivers is this: "Sure. But it's early days for it to heal." Is it just me, or is that a really weird and vague answer? I honestly am not exactly sure what it means. Cherrypaw sighs in relief so at least she understood what it meant. Anyway, let's keep reading.
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Good job, Alderpaw, you remembered comfrey is for pain. You are learning almost as fast as I did(not really, I learned everything overnight because I have the power of the stars in my paws). I would be proud of you if I didn't think you were such a lame character.
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…. the heck is this? Really? Ugggghh... I just returned and I'm mad at Alderpaw for some reason. I quote "Is it true what Cherryfall told me? Did you just give out a remedy without asking?" Um, excuse me, Alderpaw is a medicine cat, why shouldn't he give out a tiny bit of comfrey to a Clanmate in pain? The real Jayfeather(me) can be grumpy, I won't try to deny that, but usually its over something reasonable. This doesn't sound like how I would react at all to my apprentice. There has never been a medicine cat in the history of medicine cats to get angry at a med cat apprentice for giving out the correct meds...
...And now look what I did- I made poor Alderpaw feel bad for no reason. If Leafpool had been the one to show up, she would have been like "Alderpaw, good job!" but no, Erin Hunter seems dead-set on making me the most disagreeable character in the world.
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Forget this, can I just skip this chapter? No? Pshh, fine, I'll keep commenting.
Jayfeather finally admits Alderpaw did the right thing, and as a reward, tells him to get some mouse-bile and de-tick the elders...
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To find Sandstorm alone in the elder's den.
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Read the 2nd paragraph down from page 95. Apparently, Sandstorm tells a joke, but I don't see it. Alderpaw seems to feel better after hearing said joke. Also, she tells him that they are kin, and he should feel alright telling her about what's troubling him. But both Jayfeather and Leafpool are also his kin. Why not just tell them instead?
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And a full page and a half of gooey 'makes you feel better' from Sandstorm. Nothing interesting.
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And then all of a sudden, Alderpaw blurts out the entire vision from the Moonpool. This is the 2nd time a vision has been blurted out to commoncats... and lo and behold, Sandstorm instantly blurts out everything about SkyClan.
...Oh I get it! We needed to make Alderpaw not believe his dream was a real vision or he might not have told anybody about it. We needed to make him forget that Jayfeather and Leafpool were his kin so he wouldn't confide in them. We needed to have Jayfeather send him to the elders den. And we needed to have all the other elders conveniently out of the elders den. Wow, everything worked out so perfectly, it's almost as if it was scripted... oh wait... it was.
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Hehe, a little ways down page 98, Sandstorm is super close to saying to Alderpaw "You need to grow a pair of balls and stick up for yourself." She almost says it, but instead says, "You need to stop getting your tail in a twist." At least that's how I interpret it.
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Jayfeather is all grumpy and impatient and Leafpool is all kind and patient. Alderpaw is telling them about the vision. Aha, Jayfeather clawed at the ground in his excitement. What is this? I never claw at the ground in excitement! Especially not over anything an apprentice could come up with. Just a really weird sentence.
...Ughhh, the next few paragraphs are intolerable. Jay and Leaf are telling him that his first vision was from the scene in the prologue. Leafpool even says that spotting Alderpaw in the vision is the reason she knows he is destined to be a medicine cat. She goes even further in say "StarClan obviously has big plans for you."
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And Alderpaw thinks, I wasn't chosen to be a medicine cat because I'm a lousy hunter- I was chosen because I have special powers! Actually, Alderpaw, it is because you are a lousy hunter. That's why Molewhisker was so eager to give you up.
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And Jayfeather and Leafpool are going to talk with Bramblestar about Alderpaw's vision, but Alderpaw isn't allowed to join them. Why not? Is it because 'insert convenient story trope here?' I bet it is. What could Bramblestar possibly tell the medicine cats that would be inappropriate for Alderpaw to hear?
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And the chapter ends with Alderpaw being sad again now that other cats are dealing with his vision. A wonderful clincher to a less than mediocre chapter...