Misao has never seen an iceberg.
She has only read about them in books that she finds in the Aoiya's library.
However, she is sure that in the depths of an iceberg there is the color of Aoshi-sama's eyes.
She thinks, I will never be able to see an iceberg because I am in the south of Japan and I don't know if they have icebergs in Hokkaido – and I will never see one because of all that.
But I want to.
She wants to.
Aoshi-sama himself is kind of like an iceberg, isn't he?
So large, so cold, moving slowly through a cold ocean with so much more beneath the surface than is visible from above.
So much more – and she will never be able to see it all.
She knows that he wants her to stay away, to chase after someone else, building his icy walls constantly.
But she can see the aching gentleness and a hint of something else in his eyes when he looks at her and thinks she cannot see.
She can see how his face goes carefully blank, his jaw just slightly too tight as boys from the town flirt with her.
After all, tossed about on cruel ocean waves, the iceberg will be your doom.
The iceberg that is the color of Aoshi-sama's eyes.
But Misao is young, she is brave, she is so, so determined.
And she is so, so in love.
So even if I am tossed about on the seafoam with no light to guide my way, she thinks, it doesn't matter if I crash and break.
It doesn't matter because it's you Aoshi-sama.
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Aoshi has seen the ocean more times than he could count.
He sees it even when he is nowhere near the port or the beach – when he is up in his room in the Aoiya and there is a gentle knock at the door.
He loves that color.
He sees it when he looks into Misao's eyes.
The ocean is so erratic, yet with a pattern to its madness and Aoshi thinks, I will never be able to understand the ocean because it is not like anything I have ever encountered.
But I want to.
He wants to.
Misao is much like the ocean.
Constantly in motion, he knows that she is ever-changing and he will never understand her wholly.
But, oh, he wants to.
He knows that she loves him, she doesn't try to hide it, or if she does, she's pretty lousy at it.
But he knows that it is more than a childish crush and he's terrified – what if she never gets over it?
You cannot keep chasing me forever, Misao – I have strayed too far into the darkness too many times, and my hands that are stained with blood are not the gentle hands you need in this era.
And yet, she still brings him tea in the afternoon – every day – just like clockwork.
And she still has the same carefree smile – but there's a hint of something else in her beautiful eyes that are like the ocean.
He is adrift in the vast ocean of her eyes and he is so, so lost.
I would rather be lost in the ocean of your eyes than anywhere else, he thinks, it matters not whether I sink and never come up.
It matters not because it is you, Misao.