"Mirror mirror, on the wall, who is best medicine cat of them all?"
"That would be your mom, Leafpool."
"! #$"
Hey all you mouse-brains, Jaybae here ready to blow your minds with the power of sarcasm and guile. Sorry I haven't been posting very much, but that will change. Anyway, where did we leave off? Ah here, chapter 10.
Chapter 10
Days have already gone by since the last chapter. Alderpaw says he hasn't eaten anything since they chowed down on twoleg rubbish.
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They all decide to hunt before they cross their first thunderpath. Seems reasonable. The closer you get to a thunderpath, the less fresh-kill is around. Before Sandstorm had finished speaking,Sparkpaw plunged into the undergrowth and emerged a few moments later with the limp body of a vole in her jaws. Come on, Erin, you really really want the reader to know how perfect a hunter Sparkpaw is. We get it already!
And Molewhisker is trying to make amends with Alderpaw by trying to help him hunt- even though he made it pretty clear before that he didn't want to have Alderpaw as his apprentice. (but in his defense, who would?)
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Ok, so it looks like there will be a few paragraphs, maybe even pages, of Alderpaw hunting with his x-mentor, and I'm going to make the guess right now, that he still won't catch anything at all. StarClan forbid that a character learns and grows in any way at all, right? Even I caught something while I was an apprentice. You guys remember that? I think it was a mouse or vole, and it was possibly the best writing Erin Hunter ever made.
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This is seriously embarrassing. One of Alderpaw's paws slips to the side as he's stalking a bird, and it flies off. Who even does that? Lame. And no, Alderpaw doesn't catch anything else the entire time. See in real life, a wild cat that can't hunt is doomed to starve to death. That means it is a genetically inferior creature that nature never intended to have survive. Survival of the fittest.
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And we're off again. I'm surprised anybody actually thought the mouse Alderpaw was carrying was his own catch, when it was in fact Molewhisker's. Silly cats, its as if they never read an Erin Hunter book. (they all have, they're just pretending to be oblivious)
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Also, I just realized its very late in the day. Why weren't they hunting earlier that day? Why is everybody so starving like they haven't eaten in days?
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So they are at the thunderpath and Alderpaw still feels like they are being followed. Want to know why he feels this way? It's not because he hears something in the bushes. It's not because of an odd scent. It's not because he see's movement in the corner of his eye. It's because his pelt is prickling. Yup, you heard me. Prickly pelt means strangers are close by. You ever go to a Gathering and your pelt is just so prickly because you are surrounded by different cats? No? Yeah, me neither. Alderpaw is just a very strange cat.
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So Alderpaw has never seen a thunderpath before? They've been traveling for days and this is the first time seeing one? Granted, I have never seen one either, but that's because I'm blind, but still! Apparently, it is very scary looking to him. There is even a one-eyed monster and it looks even scarier than the others. Damn, he must be horrified of Brightheart.
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And the only way Alderpaw has the braver to cross is by remembering the cats in his vision to compel him to be brave...
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So after many paragraphs of buildup, something flys out of one of the monsters and nearly hits the cats. Then another thing flies out and the cats get so scared they flee into the trees again. Sandstorm decides they won't cross tonight and will wait until morning. Sounds reasonable enough- except for the fact that every cat knows monsters are more active during the day. If they had trouble crossing at night, it will be near impossible to cross in the morning. Everybody is too tired to make a nest so they all just cuddle up together in a patch of ferns. How romantic. Alderpaw feels comforted by being pressed up against his sister- never mind, let's just keep reading!
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So they wake up in the morning, catch some food(Alderpaw doesn't catch anything of course), and head for the thunderpath again. There is no mention of how many more monsters there are now that it is day, but apparently they are less scary in the light because you can see more than just their eyes. Hang on, how does that make something less scary being able to see more of it. Aren't monsters terrifying to look at? I would feel it should be the other way around, no that you can see them in all their terrible power. Eh, that's just me.
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So the sound of monsters dwindles away into the distance and they run across, only to be ambushed by a huge monster that apparently nobody saw or heard coming. Come on, you just said the sound of monsters dwindled into the distance, like the word 'dwindle' is actually used in a sentence. How did nobody see this coming. Maybe my definition of 'distance' or 'dwindle' is just different from these cats'.
And of course, Alderpaw's instinct is to stop in front of the monster in fear. Again, survival of the fittest. It's pretty obvious that nature doesn't want this cat to survive, and frankly, neither do I. But then Sparkpaw shoves him along with her head and the monster roars past.
So unfortunately, they all make it across. Alderpaw sat up, panting for breath. "Thanks, Sparkpaw, you saved-"
His sister gave him a hard nudge. "Shut up stupid furball." See, even his own sister agrees with me that he is a lame character.
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And then the rest of the day goes by and its raining a little bit. They find a place to make camp and Alderpaw is tasked on finding bedding for nests. He feels bad that he knows he will never be tasked on hunting, but then again, nobody cares.
They all eat and cuddle up in separate nests this time, I hope(actually, Alderpaw shared a nest with his sister again) and everything is just dandy before all of a sudden- there is a fox! Dun dun duuuuu!
And that's the end of the chapter. Hope you enjoyed and post a thing if you want more.