"It's sad senpai," Haruhi said to Tamaki. "Everyone in the host club is dying. Usually my dad would comfort me, but he's been working so hard lately, I barely see him."

"You can always talk to me, my child."

Steam came from the floor as it started to rise.

'Mental note, she's added to the list.' Tamaki thought as he looked at the rising ground.

"Oh Haruhi, it is sad! No more gay twin love, sweet childlike innocence, or silent and bruiting. There is only-" Renge started

"Renge, can I talk to you outside for a bit. It's important."

"WHAT CAN BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS!" Renge yelled with fire in her eyes.

"Yes Tamaki. What could be more important than our dead friends?" Kyoya asked, his question sounded rhetorical. Tamaki knew he was onto him, seeing him laughing in front of a 'napping' Honey the day he died was very suspicious. Tamaki was skeptical of killing Kyoya, thinking he had no interest in Haduhi, plus he was his second best friend (After Haduhi), but Kyoya posed a threat now.

"Trust me Renge, you'll want to hear this." Tamaki said. They walked into the hallway together.

"What is so important!"

"Kyoya told me he loves you. He's scared that he might be the next host to go, so he's arranged a log cabin for you two to run away to, and live together happily."

Throughout Tamaki's explanation, Renge's eyes widened. She let out a high pitch fan girl scream.

"OH MY GOD! KYOYA-SENPAI LOVES ME! I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN! KKYYYYOOOOOOOYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Renge, I'm not suppose to tell you but Kyoya was too shy. You have to take him to the cabin. Here's the coordinates."

"Kyoya, I swear that I will keep you happy for the rest of your life! I'm coming senpai!"

"Renge Houshakuji and Kyoya Ootori believed to be in the burning remains of the blown up log cabin. All these cute teens are dieing. I think we need a moment of silence. Play the American national anthem." The news reported demanded.

"No! This has gone on long enough! We are in Japan, God Dimmit, so stop have a boner for that stupid little country Ameri-" A person behind the camera said. The American news reporter stared at him with pure hatred. As she walked towards the camera, the screen turned blue and said "Technical difficulties, please stand by".

"Now for the rest of my list." Tamaki said to himself. He should really stop planning murders out loud. I don't plan my murders out loud, people think I'm mute because of it. IT'S PERFECT! Where was I?

The screen turned back on and the American news reporter's hair was a mess and some blood was on her hands and face. "Ooh say can you seeee, By the dawn's early liiight, Oh so prooooouuuuudly we held," She sang with one hand over her heart. Text underneath her said "For God's sake SING ALONG! You do NOT want to know what happened behind the scenes."

Tamaki looked at his blood covered list, every item was crossed off. "Oh my dear, dear Haruhi, my precious angel. My coos of love shall no longer go unanswered. She will be mine!" Tamaki yelled into the empty music room. "But how should I receive my beloved? She, surprisingly, doesn't love me. Hmm, I bet she'll love me after some… 'persuasion'." Tamaki started evil laughing again. It lasted for 31 hours this time. Don't question it. After that very long very, very very, very long time of laughing, and I mean VERY, he actually did something that isn't murder, or talking about murder. It's quite surprising actually. There should be a Nirvana album about this. Nevermind. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH wait, didn't I do this bad pun in this fanfiction already? If you made this far, I don't think your sane enough to care. Or you're just a mad TamaHaru shipper. Sailing the high seas to deliver your OTPs.

"Oh Haruhi, my one and only desire. For what is occupying your mind at this moment?"

"Why are you being so poetic?"

"For do you wish thou Tama-senpai to speak in an archaic form for such a dire time?"

Haruhi looked at Tamaki. "What?"

"Tamaki only speaks in this tongue for his beloved Haru-chany."

"Tamaki, are you okay?"

"I'm always okay when I'm with you, my glorious pinecone of love and devotion. My sun drop of love. My sweet chimpanzeesil, where are you, you weasel." (Romeo and Juliet for you weirdos that only read Fanfictions and not real books.)

"Should I call a hospital?"

"No, I just want to tell you something, my princess."

"What is it."

"I bet you look so cute when your tased."

"What the hell Tamaki!" Haruhi said before she got tased and passed out because of the electrical current running through her majestic (if you ask Tamaki) body and how long can I make this run on sentence without commas. The world will never know! Just like a tootsie pop! It's actually 39 words long if you count the speech and parentheses, but we ignore this fact.

"Tamaki, are you dragging your unconscious friend to your room again?" the butler asked.

"YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE!"

"I've been your servant for 16 years. I think I can safely say that I do indeed know your life."

"YOU'RE SO MEAN!" Tamaki yells as he drags the limp body of the young Host up two flights of stairs.

"Do you think we should the police on him yet? He's obviously the murderer." Another maid said.

"Just let him carry out his delusions. It's just a phase. I know I went through that phase, but I think mine involved more sausages and cows."

"Oh yes! Mine was with a cow too." A new maid responded. Soon all the servants were sharing the stories of their youths with murder.

Tamaki plopped Haruhi on a newly placed bed in the 'Haruhi Worship Room'. It had Haruhi bed sheets on it, of course. Don't question how he got it, Kyoya knows a guy. Well, Kyoya knew a guy. 'CAUSE KYOYA'S DEAD! It's the same with the life-size cardboard cutouts. Kyoya just knows a guy for everything.

The second year student stared at the cross dressing first year, waiting patiently for her to wake. By patiently, I actually mean impatiently. Besides being complete opposites, they're the same thing.

He continues to watch the most beloved part of his life right now for a while. Tasers apparently knock out people for a while.

A/N: Don't tase people kids. I know all you baby goats wanna, but don't. Don't do anything, and for God's sake, stop reading this if you know what's good for you. I don't know what's good for me, so here I am, writing this. Now, a word from our lord and savior, my senpai, Dark Queen Peyton. TAKE IT AWAY PEYTON-SENPAIIIIIIIIIII!

Peyton: Wait what?

Me: SEEEENPAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Peyton: Wifey, please calm down!

Me: NEVER! Now read our baby! Oh wait, you just finished reading it, didn't you…