Warning: This short contains profanity, due to Hidan's presence. Also, offensive remarks and short-mindedness. You have been warned.
"Have you always been so damn short?"
"Is that a trick question?"
Hidan did nothing to hide his triumphal grin as Sore tilted their head to stare at him dumbfounded. They had been hunching over some obscenely long scroll for what he assumed was hours and, bored out of his mind, Hidan could not allow this to continue. It was incredulous that they would rather spend so much time on a useless piece of parchment when he was in need of entertainment. It wasn't like he could go and bother Kakuzu. His partner was in a sourer mood than usual, which might have had to do with Sore's earlier insistence to purchase herbs for tea, and the ex-Yugakure ninja wanted nothing to do with his miser ass.
"Well?" Sore prompted, when he failed to deliver a response immediately.
"You are a fucking midgeet." Hidan proclaimed, purposely drawing out the last word to incite the other. He gazed straight into their eyes, violent orbs shining challengingly.
Sore inhaled a deep breath and blew out slowly, before returning their gaze to him. "Oh? What, pray tell, brought on this epiphany?"
"Your legs are swinging." He stated matter-of-factly.
"Pardon? My legs aren't…" Their gaze followed Hidan's as he stared at the incriminatory body parts which were, in fact, dangling in the air. Their shoulders slumped slightly as his smirk widened even more.
"I suppose I am, then." Sore conceded, shrugging softly.
Their admission unnerved the man, who had already marked their interaction as a victory. However, the flicker of indignation passed as quickly as it came and left Hidan feeling deflated. He wanted amusement, not somebody with the emotional capacity of a stone slab. The white-haired nin made Itachi seem like a freaking riot.
An idea popped into Hidan's mind and, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, he spoke. "The height, the fucking long hair, those loose robes, bringing flowers to that bastard Sasori… they all point to the same conclusion."
"Yes?" Amusement clear in their voice, Sore leaned forward and rested their head between their hands. "Seems as if you are not as obtuse as I initially thought."
He refrained from replying right away, allowing the tension to build up before he concluded. "You are a fucking twink."
"I take that back. You are even dumber than I assumed." They deadpanned.
"Aren't I right, though? You must be ugly as hell, too." Hidan pressed, taking a step towards the other Akatsuki. That must have been it. There was no other possible explanation for their mysterious behavior. And he was the only one to see through their illusion. Who was the genius now?
Sore sighed heavily and placed a hand on the man's left shoulder. "Look, Hidan. You are bored, I get it. But I am not being paid to put up with your shenanigans. Go seek fun elsewhere, please."
"Oh, come on. Don't be a fucking spoilsport. You know what?" Hidan grinned as he pointed to their mask. "If you take that off, I won't tell anybody else how big of a fag you are. I might laugh at your stupid face, yeah, but that's to be expected. So what d'you say, moron?"
The ex-Yugakure gasped as a barely audible snicker escaped Sore's mouth. Seeing his shocked expression, the snickers soon turned into downright cackles as their body shook with laughter.
"Have you gone fucking mental?"
"You're a funny guy, Hidan. Thanks for the laugh." The transition was instant. Sore's howls stopped as unexpectedly as they had started. Apathy took over their figure as they patted Hidan's head, the action reminiscent of how one acted with a dog.
They rose from the table and simply walked past him, scroll safely tucked at their side. "I am perfectly straight, by the way."
A.N. : I'm not 100% satisfied with this one. I might come back to it at a later date, but I don't like to leave things unfinished and it was already started. Reviews are love, please send me some. All the best. xo