A/N: Yeah. Slow builds lol. And I do mean slow. But build it will, my loves! Urgh but writing cheesy and sweet and cute stuff without angst always makes me feel so strange lol. As for how I feel? Aside from residual coughing, I'm doing really well. And as far as I'm concerned, I don't believe I've failed any exams either, so that's always a plus!
Anyway... it begins.
I appreciate you guys' sweet reviews! Thank you for always being so supportive and encouraging me. I honestly cannot thank you all enough for being the amazing people that you are! :D
Disclaimer: I do not own Girl Meets World, but… eh I got nothing…
Maya pulled on an old hoodie and some leggings for her morning venture to the farmer's market for the fresh produce. Riley was pretty adamant in making sure that all of her friends were on this health kick with her so that she wouldn't slip and start pigging out during her pregnancy. As much as Missy and Smackle couldn't stand it, they all decided to if only to appease Riley, because even though their bubbly friend was generally cheerful, her hormones were still haywire and they wanted to avoid upsetting her. She tended to turn almost rabid with anger when she wasn't happy.
Maya could still remember the fight Riley almost got into with a teenager at a coffee shop because she thought they had stolen her cinnamon roll. It turned out she had forgotten she had already eaten it.
Needless to say, it was not an experience any of them wanted to relive so they made sure that Riley was in good spirits.
Maya yawned as she unbraided her hair, letting the tousled waves tumble around her shoulders and down her back. She ran a hand through it, shaking it up and trying to straighten out some of the wave with her fingers. Normally, she would tie it up into a ponytail at night after her shampoo so it could stay fairly tame, but she had accidentally forgotten. It wasn't that she hated the way her hair naturally fell. It was just that the more she forgot to try to control it, the more wild it got by the day. It was an absolute hassle.
Dressed and ready to begin her day, Maya walked to the living room, surprised as she sniffed the air to realize that she smelled breakfast. And not just any breakfast.
Double chocolate pancakes with melted chocolate chips dunked in hot fudge and drizzled with caramel and dark chocolate sprinkles.
Riley's specialty.
Maya walked out into the living room and sure enough, hunched over the dining table, munching on the ultra-sweet treat was the pregnant brunette. Her nose was slightly red as her eyes met Maya's, and she sniffled, turning her attention back to the magazine she was reading.
"Morning." she said nonchalantly, as if it was normal for Maya to wake up to Riley's cavity inducing current obsession, "I made breakfast."
Maya walked to the kitchen and grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl, peeling it before taking a bite.
"Where? I don't see anything left."
Riley frowned. "I swear I made more than ten…"
"Ten? You ate at least ten of those things?" Maya did a double take in shock and slight disgust. It was hard to stomach even one. The amount of richness and chocolate in one bite of those things was enough to knock someone into hyperglycaemic shock and burn their tongue from how sweet it was. "Wow. You force us to be healthy, yet you are not making any efforts at all."
"Not now, Maya…" Riley muttered through a mouthful of pancake, "I need sweets. Lots of them."
Maya frowned suspiciously as she stared at Riley's hunched shoulders and distinct lack of perky rambling about something. She was reading a bridal magazine, and Riley only did that when she was particularly upset about something. And then there was the fact that she wasn't bouncing off the walls or exaggeratedly cheerful as was characteristic of her.
"What are you really doing here, Riley? Especially this early on a Saturday morning?"
"Nothing. I just want to go out with you and take a walk and spend time together, just the two of us. We haven't done that in a long time, and plus I need the exercise since I slacked all this week. You're pretty active, so I figured you could whip me back into shape."
"Sure I could buy that…" Maya rose a brow, contemplatively chewing on her banana. "Except that you were supposed to spend the weekend with Charlie."
"And now I decided to spend the weekend with you." she responded, keeping her gaze firmly on the magazine.
"Riley, what did Charlie do? Tell me before I call Smackle and tell her Charlie hurt you, and she shows up at his doorstep with chloroform."
Riley's head snapped up in alarm. "Wait don't do that!"
"Tell me what happened."
"…We got in a fight." Riley mumbled, setting her fork on the plate and pushing away the last pancake. "Yesterday. I've been here since yesterday afternoon. You didn't know because you went out last night with some of your teacher friends and got home really late."
"Was it bad?" Maya asked sympathetically, sitting in the chair beside Riley.
"It was." Riley nodded, absentmindedly stroking her abdomen fondly. "He didn't want to come to my appointment yesterday so I told him if he was going to be the father of my child, he had to learn to accept the fact that I was already pregnant before I even met him and that I'm having someone else's child. I wanted him to know that even though it isn't his kid, it doesn't mean I love him any less. But it didn't come out quite the way I wanted it to."
Maya winced. "Ouch. That sounds really bad."
"It was. I pushed him too far, Maya." Riley sighed, eyeing the pancake a little forlornly, "He told me that maybe he didn't want to accept it. He told me that maybe he actually didn't want to raise a child with me if it wasn't even his own. That being with me and knowing I was pregnant from someone else just made him lose interest in wanting to continue our relationship. That he wasn't sure what our future looked like. If we even had a future together."
Maya's brows furrowed. "What did you do?"
"I told him that until he figured out whatever was going on with him, that we needed a break." Riley shrugged. "I packed up all my stuff and I came back here, so here I am, Maya. Back to full time living with you."
"...Well your room has remained untouched, so welcome back, Honey." Maya said with a smile, trying to divert Riley's attention from the slow destruction of the relationship she'd finally found.
"Thank you for taking me back, Peaches. So now that you know, are you going to invite me on your fun city plans for the day? I may be pregnant, but it's not like I can't have fun every once in a while. I just want to forget about yesterday."
"Yeah. You can come with me." Maya smiled, nodding as she stood up and took Riley's hands. "Let's go out and enjoy the city."
~.~.~
"How do kids have this much energy this early in the afternoon…" Riley muttered, taking another small lick of her rocky road ice cream cone, watching the kids who were playing tag on the field near the park. "Especially on a Saturday. I can barely keep my eyes open."
"Beats me…" Maya responded, finishing the last of her scoop of lemon sorbet. She tossed the empty cup in the trash nearby. "Kids operate on a different level of energy than us adults in a way we can't even begin to understand."
"Ain't that the truth." Riley responded, shaking her head in mirth, "We're like neutrons. And they're like electrons. Those excited state electrons, only they're constantly excited."
"Who are the protons?"
"Men, duh."
Maya chuckled at how ridiculous their whole conversation was. She wondered if Riley even realized she was making no sense at all.
"Riley, I think your pregnancy brain is on full force today."
"I haven't forgotten anything yet, thank you very much."
They lapsed into companionable silence on their park bench, much like many of the other parents, watching the children run around screaming as they played. Maya would have preferred a little more quiet area to relax with Riley at the part overlooking the harbor, but Riley had wanted to be surrounded by children, so Maya had obliged.
"Maya…" Riley finally said after the silence had been drawn out for a while, "Do you think I'll be a good mother? I'm only twenty-six. Barely experienced life. What if I screw this up?"
"Riley. You'll be the best mother there ever was. Experience in life doesn't decide whether or not you'll be a good mother…" Maya said, staring blankly at the distance where two squirrels were playing with each other, "As long as you love your child, that's what counts…"
"Watch out!"
And then a soft flyball suddenly flew over in their direction, on a direct course to collide with Riley. Riley squealed, flailing her arms and cowering, covering her face from the assault and nearly tossing her ice cream cone at an unsuspecting dog. Almost on instinct, Maya reached over and caught it with her hand before it could hit Riley. She winced a little bit from the impact, but kept it firmly enclosed in her hand.
"You saved me!" Riley gushed dramatically. "How can I ever repay you?"
"Riley, it's no big deal. It's just a ball."
"This is terrifying!" Riley suddenly exclaimed furiously, "What if my kid hurts himself while playing because of some errant ball? I would never want to bring him to such a dangerous environment."
"Riley, you know you'll have to get over that fear and take him to a park eventually."
"No way! Aiden will stay indoors safe from any dangers of these public parks with their rabid squirrels and flying balls. He's not losing any of his teeth because because he fell off the monkey bars."
"Kids have to get hurt every once in a while. It's the way they grow and get stronger and develop tolerances to pain." Maya chuckled, rubbing her palm. "Otherwise you'll be subjecting your kid to a life of isolation just because you're scared. Thus he'll be stuck at home, gazing out his window at the playing children wishing he could just once play with them too. And then fifteen years down the line, you have a rebellious son who refuses to listen to anything you say because you sheltered him too much. Is that what you want?"
"Well when you put it that way…"
"Miss Hart!"
Maya's gaze turned from Riley at the familiar voice and sure enough, running up to her, cheeks flushed and wild blonde pigtails bouncing with reckless abandon was Anna Friar. She stopped in front of them with a wide grin, her hands resting on Maya's knees as she jumped up and down.
"Hi Miss Hart!"
"Hey, Anna Banana." Maya smiled warmly, taking a leaf caught in her curls off of her head. "You're covered in dirt."
"I've been playing a lot!"
"Who's this little cutie?" Riley asked, leaning forward and tweaking her nose.
Anna giggled, trying to cover her face.
"Anna Friar. She's a student in my class." Maya lifted the flyball. "Is this yours, Anna?"
"Yeah! Daddy threw it too hard, and it flew over my head." Anna responded, reaching out as Maya dropped the ball into the glove she held out.
"She's right. I'm totally at fault. Sorry to bother you again, Ms. Hart." Lucas said, coming up behind Anna. Maya glanced up, and he smiled in greeting. "Hi."
"Hey." Maya shook her head. "And it's no problem. You know Anna's always a pleasure."
Anna ran away slightly at a distance, waving her little glove in the air. "Daddy, hurry up! We have to keep practicing!"
"She's got way too much energy…" Lucas muttered with a slight chuckle, "We've been here for hours, and she still isn't tired yet."
"Well, that's what you would expect from a seven year old." Maya said, "But at least you're spending quality time together."
"Yeah. I cut my work hours down a bit. I'm trying. It's a little hard changing up old habits, but I'm happy to do it for her."
"That's good."
And then Riley cleared her throat, nudging Maya. "Who's your pretty friend, Maya? Introduce me."
Maya gave Riley a 'knock it off' look. "Uh, Mr. Friar, this is Riley Matthews, a friend. She teaches kindergarten at JQA elementary. Riley, this is Lucas Friar, Anna's father."
"Hey. Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too." Riley said cheerfully.
Lucas' phone rang then, and he checked the caller ID before frowning in concern.
"Shoot. Do you mind playing with Anna for a second?" Lucas asked Maya with an apologetic look on his face. "I really need to take this. It's one of my interns."
"Sure. Not a problem."
"Thanks."
Lucas walked away, answering the call, and Maya stood up, stretching out her limbs. She hadn't been expecting to do any real physical activity that day, but it looked like it was inevitable. Riley stared up at her, a slight excited gleam in her eyes. Maya glanced at her and with a sigh, realized Riley was fangirling.
"What?"
"If that's what the dads look like in your class, maybe I should have become a second grade teacher."
Maya snorted, rolling her eyes as she rotated her right shoulder. It'd been a long time since she played catch.
"He's gorgeous, Maya."
That he was.
"Did you see his bone structure? And oh my God, his eyes. They're so intense. Not as heart-pounding and lovely as Charlie's of course, but still…"
"He's alright." Maya rolled her eyes.
Riley always spazzed over good looking people, having created something like a mental 'scrapbook' where she collected images of attractive men she'd see in the city and gushed over them.
"But Anna doesn't really look that much like him."
Maya glanced over at the small girl tossing up her flyball and catching it. She kind of had Lucas' face. A little bit. But other than that, she had crystal blue-gray eyes and curly blonde coils, a brighter shade than Lucas' dirty blonde.
"I guess she must take after her mother then." Maya shrugged. "I'll be back. Don't try to leave and go anywhere. You'll get lost. Your pregnancy brain is too strong right now."
"I'm not going to get lost!" Riley responded indignantly.
Maya chuckled as she made her way over to Anna, cracking the bones in her fingers to loosen up her hands.
"Are you playing with me, Miss Hart?"
"Yupp. At least until your father is done with his phone call." Maya smiled. "Alright. Throw me your best ball. Imagine you're at a national tournament and you need to strikeout an imaginary batter."
"Okay!"
Anna reared her hand back and threw the ball at Maya as hard as she could. It cascaded into the air, and Maya caught it carefully, wincing slightly when it stung her palm.
Maya would have preferred using a glove, but she obviously didn't bring hers and she wasn't going to be playing that long anyway, so she could just endure the slight sting for now. At least Anna wasn't throwing terribly fast or hard throws yet. But for a young child with barely developed muscles, it was pretty damn good.
"Very good." Maya tossed the ball back to Anna, watching and laughing as she caught it in her little glove and then jumped up and down, running around in a small circle. "Try snapping your wrist a little bit more right before you let go of the ball. It'll give it more push."
Anna nodded and threw the ball back at Maya. They carried on with their little game of catch, Maya switching up her pitches to Anna by throwing them more curved or more arched or to really try to throw her off a bit, she spun it as she threw it towards the ground, forcing it to bounce and making it infinitely more difficult to catch. But Anna kept her eye on the ball carefully, doing her best to catch them. For a young seven year old, that kind of attention wasn't something Maya commonly saw, so she was very intrigued.
"You're pretty serious about this." Maya said, impressed, "Your father told me you've been here practicing for hours."
"Yeah! I must train to be the greatest!"
"What are you training for?" Maya asked, accidentally clipping her fingernail when she caught the ball and forcing herself not to wince when it stung a little more than she had hoped.
Her hand was actually starting to hurt a little bit. It'd been too long since she last caught any balls and her hand wasn't used to that pain anymore.
"I want to tryout for the Little League baseball team tomorrow but Mark Kawamura said I wouldn't make it because I was a girl and that baseball was for boys! That's not fair! Daddy says I should tryout and prove him wrong!"
Maya mentally laughed in her head. Maya could easily tell that Mark most definitely had a crush on Anna. That was the only reason he kept teasing her. That Friday, he had sprung one of Anna's curls and watched it bounce back and started laughing, calling her a Yo-Yo head. They'd both gotten time outs when Anna shoved him and then he threw mud at her.
"You're right; that isn't fair." Maya said, tossing the ball back to her, "But don't let what anyone tells you stop you from chasing your dreams, okay? If you want to try out for the team, then try out for the team. Little League is for boys and girls."
"Will you be there, Miss Hart?"
"Hmmm?" Maya asked, a little distracted as she caught the ball.
"Will you be at my tryout? Can you come watch me?"
"Uh… I guess I could go."
She did suppose she had other students who were also trying out as well. She could bring cupcakes or something for the members of her class. Maya had been planning to spend the rest of her weekend relaxing, but tacking on those plans wouldn't be so bad.
"Yay!" Anna cheered.
Maya laughed as Anna flung the ball back to her. It was a little wild, and went low, but Maya easily stooped and caught it right before it scraped the ground.
"Daddy, did you hear that? Miss Hart says she'll come to the tryouts!"
"I heard." Lucas said from somewhere behind her.
Maya turned around, a little surprised to see he was there because she hadn't even heard him approach. How long had he been in their general vicinity?
"Everything all good?" she asked, tossing him the ball underhanded, trying to ignore how sore her left hand and fingers had become.
He caught it deftly, making his way over to her.
"Yeah." His brows furrowed in concern as he stopped in front of her. "Is your hand okay? I noticed you were catching the ball barehanded."
Maya turned her left hand over and noticed the skin was kind of red from the continued onslaught. But she didn't think it was too bad in particular. She'd definitely experienced worse. And at least it wasn't a real softball or a hard ball.
"Nothing I'm not used to." Maya said, smiling fondly as she flexed the fingers of her hand to loosen up the tightness, "My softball coach back in college was a total lunatic. She made us do drills without gloves so we could get used to the pain from catching balls. I guess I've forgotten the pain, though."
"You played softball?" Lucas said, his brows rising a little in surprise.
"Yeah..." Maya rose a brow. "Why do you look so surprised? Is that so weird?"
"No. I just... imagined you as more of a dancer or gymnast or something like that."
"I never was one for more graceful things. That was all Riley. But yeah, softball got me through college." Otherwise she might not even have gone. "It was a lot of work though. My coach wasn't one for leniency. We had to be the best."
"Baseball was the same for me." Lucas agreed, "Sometimes I wonder how the heck I even got through some of those workouts."
Maya smiled, glancing up at him with a slightly quirked brow. "You should have seen what our coach made us do on the off season so we wouldn't slack off. I haven't been able to touch a swimming pool in years."
"I can't even imagine." Lucas chuckled, "It paid off though. You have a good arm. Or, you know. Good form."
"Oh." she said, a little taken aback by the easy compliment he'd just paid her, "Well... Thanks."
They fell silent, and Maya fought the urge to fidget or wring her shirt in her hands. She averted her gaze to her hand and pretended like she was observing the slightly reddened skin.
"I have an ice pack in my car if you need it for your hand." Lucas said after a while, "Do you want me to get it for you?"
"Oh no. It's fine." She nervously ran a hand through her hair, still not quite looking at him. "Don't worry about it."
"If you're sure…" he said softly.
"Yeah…"
"Daddy c'mon!" Anna shouted from the distance, "Throw the ball already!"
Maya blinked, clearing her throat and smiling. She turned towards where Anna was waiting for Lucas to continue their game of catch.
"You weren't kidding about the energy."
Lucas sighed in exasperation. "We're going to be here for a long damn time…"
"Well, you two have fun." Maya laughed. "And good luck."
Maya left the area and briskly made her way back over to the park benches and picnic tables where Riley was sitting rocking side by side almost dreamily and muttering to her abdomen as she rubbed it. As Maya took her seat beside her, Riley turned her attention to her in excitement.
"Maya… seriously. I didn't know there existed a species of man like him."
Maya rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Shut up about his looks already. I get it. He's a hot dad."
"How can I shut up? He's so unbelievably attractive it's kind of scary." Riley shuddered, her nose wrinkling. "And it's actually kind of terrifying. I can't imagine what woman would be able to be with him without feeling completely insecure or the target of people's jealousy. And now that I've noticed it, some of these other moms are eyeing him like he's the last pair of Jimmy Choo pumps on sale for 65% off."
Maya had noticed the amount of women who were eyeing him or staring at him, but quite frankly, she didn't really care. And honestly, she wasn't really interested in carrying on this conversation. Maybe it was just because Anna was a student in her class, but it felt a little awkward discussing one of her student's parents like that.
"Sounds like you've got shopping on the brain." Maya said, changing the subject.
Riley was staring behind them at some small shops on the street, her eyes still carrying that dazed excitement.
"Mmhmm…" She nodded slowly, her expression a little glazed over. "That sounds really nice right now…"
"So what else is on the agenda for our day out?" Maya asked, stretching her arms above her head with a yawn, "We've already finished all of my errands. What do you want to do for the rest of the day?"
Riley hummed. "How would you like to come shopping with me for maternity clothes? Paychecks just went through! I've got some extra spending money."
Maya groaned. That was the exact thing she didn't want to hear.
"You take forever when you shop."
"It'll be fun! C'mon, let's just go." Riley pouted cutely, "I was supposed to hang out with Charlie, but we're on break so how else am I supposed to keep my mind off of it?"
"I hate that ability you have to guilt me into doing things with you." Maya growled. "Fine, you annoyingly adorable pregnant woman. I'll come shopping with you."
"Yay!" Riley cheered, standing up with renewed energy, her trademark doofy smile on her face.
Maya stooped with a sigh and gathered her and Riley's bags of groceries from the farmer's market. After she'd double checked and made sure Riley hadn't forgotten her wallet or her keys—it had happened multiple times before—the two women headed through the park to go to the shopping district Riley preferred.
For some inexplicable reason she couldn't even begin to figure out, Maya's gaze drifted over to where Lucas and Anna were playing catch in the near distance as she and Riley passed on by. To her slight surprise, Lucas was watching her too.
Their eyes met and for a small moment, they just stood there, holding each other's gazes.
Lucas smiled slightly. Nervously licking her lips, Maya returned it before tucking some hair behind her ear and hurrying to catch up with Riley who, for being a pregnant bubble at the moment, was walking particularly fast.
Maya chose to ignore that moment—whatever the hell it had been.
~.~.~
Maya sat on the chair of the back balcony of her apartment, her chin resting on her knees, staring out at the distance while nursing a beer. It was chilly outside, the cold night air causing her skin to erupt in goosebumps with each blast of wind that drifted over her. But despite that, she didn't budge or bother getting up to grab her sweater. There was a car honking in the distance, causing a ruckus, yet it didn't shatter her daze.
Nothing did. Not even when she felt a few soft droplets of water indicative of burgeoning rain.
Nothing shattered her absentminded musing until her phone suddenly started ringing.
Maya's eyes shot to it, her breathing harshening as she stared at it. She took in a shuddering breath and picked up her phone slowly, her fingers trembling the slightest bit as she answered it.
"H-hello?" She cleared her throat when sound barely came out. "Hello?"
"Yes, you called about Renee a few minutes ago?"
"I did." Maya held her breath.
"Her birthday is April 5th."
Maya let out a slow breath, her shoulders slumping as her heart sank.
"I see. Thank you. Sorry to bother you. Have a nice evening."
"You too, hun. Buh bye now."
Maya ended the call and set her phone shakily down on the patio table, fighting the dangerous tightening of her throat. The back of her eyes burned with tears, and she sniffled, closing her eyes momentarily as that familiar pain crawled into her heart.
"Maya, you okay?" Riley asked with a yawn, rubbing her sleepy eyes as she walked out onto the balcony. "Why are you out here so late?"
"…Couldn't sleep." Maya said, clearing her throat and turning her head slightly so Riley couldn't see her face.
"Me neither. Aiden's in a kicking mood. Who were you talking to on the phone just now?"
"Just my mom." Maya lied, staring at her phone. "Didn't know how to make brownies, and she was craving them."
"You okay? You seem a little quiet. Maybe a little down."
"No. I'm totally fine." Maya said, flashing Riley a quick smile if only to try to convince her a little, "Just drinking my beer, reminiscing on the good times."
Riley nodded, yawning as she rubbed her belly. "Well you should come inside. It's kind of cold out here and it looks like it's going to rain, and it wouldn't do for you to get sick. Plus I need someone to keep me company while I watch Netflix."
Maya nodded. "I'll be in in a minute."
She waited until Riley had gone back inside before she let her eyes well with the tears she had been holding back. She slumped back against her seat, staring out at the distance at the city lights from the buildings, sniffling quietly as her shoulders shook slightly from her silent sobs.
How much longer would this go on?
How much longer would she have to suffer?
How much longer would she have to live with her guilt?