A/N: Lol snail pace slow build. This story was only supposed to be 15 chapters when I planned it. It'll probably closer to 30 now. Yikes.
Hi Sabrinator! I did use to watch WWE back in like 2001 to roughly 2005 when I was in primary school, lol but the name I used in Ch. 12 is a pretty funny coincidence! I didn't know there was a wrestler named Sasha Banks! (I actually stole Sasha from my old neighbour's cat and the Banks from Tyra Banks because I was rewatching an episode of ANTM while writing that chapter lol)
I love you guys! Also, thank you for reading my story even though I'm inconsistent as heck. But rest assured I've made a goal to finish this story by the end of 2017 for sure! :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Girl Meets World, but… eh I got nothing…
"And then I hit the ball and it flew over everyone's head, and I thought it would be like an in-the-park homerun, but I got out before I could get home," Anna said cheerfully, kicking her legs back and forth as she sat on the back table near Maya. "But the other coach told me my playing was at a higher level than my age and he told Daddy that he was going to send him some information about club softball league so I can get better training!"
Maya smiled at her enthusiasm as she dipped her brush in the mix of blue she'd created on her palette. Art club had ended a while ago, but while Maya waited for Lucas to come pick up his daughter, she'd decided to start a new project. It was weird, but Maya had had a sudden burst of inspiration to paint. It'd been years since she felt that itch, but there was something about this calm Thursday afternoon with Anna chattering beside her that made her want to start a longterm project. She wasn't really sure what she was painting—she was kind of letting whatever crossed her mind at the moment hit the canvas—but she felt relaxed and was enjoying it.
"That must have been exciting." Maya started to paint some clouds. Skies were always a favourite of hers to draw back in the day. "Did your father look into it?"
"He told me I could only do it if I got straight As this year. He's being a butt just because Miss Joy called him about the recorder incident." Anna took the lollipop out of her mouth and she pouted, her lips an artificial red colour from the sucker.
Maya leaned over sideways, raising a brow at Anna. "Recorder incident? What did you do?"
"I tried to shoot a spitball out of it. But it's not my fault. Mark challenged me to see if I could do it, and no way I'm losing to a dumb boy!"
Maya sighed, shaking her head in amusement. The rivalry between those two was definitely going to make the rest of the school year difficult.
"Miss Hart, help me make my dad let me join the club team! He listens to you!"
Maya stopped painting momentarily, her brows furrowing from the request. "I can't oppose your father's wishes for you, Anna Banana. He's your parent; I'm just your teacher."
"Miss Hart…" she whined, her eyes glimmering in disappointment, and Maya felt her heart clench. She could definitely understand what Lucas meant about Anna being unbelievably persistent and unbelievably difficult to say no to now. "Didn't you do a club team? I wanna be able to play real softball like you when I grow up."
Maya shook her head, though she smiled at Anna's desires to be like her. It was sweet. "I couldn't afford it. Those teams were expensive, so I didn't play much in primary and middle school except in gym. Of course, once I got a job though, I bought new equipment and joined my high school team. And then by my senior year, I was scouted for college and got a scholarship to play."
A quick glance at Anna showed that the girl was staring at Maya with this wide eyed look of awe. Maya bit her lower lip to keep from chuckling.
"You're so amazing, Miss Hart. You were so cool at the Fall Fair especially when you got my dad out! And Amber is so jealous that you're my teacher. And Daddy told me that one year when you were in school you were on the team that won some big national championship. Is it true?" she blurted out in nearly one breath.
"It is…" Maya said suspiciously. "But how exactly does your dad know that?"
"He found it on the internet." She crunched off the last of the lollipop. "I need to practice every day so I can get to NYU too! Can you practice with me too, Miss Hart?"
"I would love to practice with you when I'm free, but don't forget your grades matter too, Anna Banana. Don't neglect your studies in favour of extracurriculars." If Riley heard Maya, she would be so proud of how far Maya had come from being the huge slacker she used to be. "You didn't do so well on the science quiz today. Did you study yesterday after your game?"
Anna blushed red and ducked her head quickly, looking embarrassed. "No…"
"Is that so?"
Maya looked over her shoulder, caught off guard by Lucas' sudden interjection. Anna squeaked in surprise, nearly dropping the stick of her lollipop as she fumbled to keep it in her fingers.
"I only caught the last bit of that conversation, but I guess this means that your TV time needs to be diminished," Lucas said as he strolled the rest of the way into the classroom languidly, a brow raised in disdain.
"Miss Hart!" Anna hopped off the table and stomped her foot. "He's being a butt again! Make him stop!"
"I told you not to let Little League take over your focus in school, didn't I, Anna?" he said sternly. "I know you don't like it, but school is important."
"But Daddy!"
"No buts."
Maya sighed as Anna's cheeks flushed an angry red as she huffed angrily. No doubt Lucas would have to deal with a moody Anna for a while. The girl had an iron will and could be more stubborn than a mule if she was really displeased with a situation.
"But Miss Hart got into college because of softball. So why can't I?"
"That may be true, Anna," Maya explained, leaning down and wiping off some paint she saw on Anna's chin, "but I had to maintain a certain grade point average in order to get and keep the scholarship. It's okay to love softball, but school is necessary as well."
"But I hate studying…" she muttered. "It's so boring. There's more fun stuff to do."
"Your father is right though. Studying is important, okay?" Anna nodded sullenly. Maya picked up both of Anna's hand, looking at the splotches of paint on her palms, dried paint under her fingernails, and sticky lollipop residue. "Good girl. Now go wash your hands so that you and your father can leave."
Anna's lips turned down into a pout, but she dragged her feet out of the classroom to go do what was asked of her.
"How is it that she listens to you more than she listens to her own father?" Lucas said in fake annoyance, though he did look genuinely impressed. "Yesterday, she kept citing that she didn't have to eat broccoli because you didn't like it either. I guess that means you've replaced me as her hero then."
"Par for the course considering I'm a much cooler adult than her butt of a dorky dad. Just wait until she's a teenager. It'll only get worse," Maya quipped, though she smiled serenely. "But at least she's happy and healthy."
"I think a lot of that is thanks to you," Lucas responded as he approached her, a smile on his lips that made Maya's heart jump in her chest briefly.
"It's because you stopped being a half-a-dad," Maya said, spinning around and facing her painting to continue with her work. "Your efforts in her life have livened up her spirits."
"That might be it, but I think it's more because she relates to you well. She talks about school a lot now. How great a teacher and role model you are." He stopped behind her, watching as she continued to paint the cloud, using a darker blue to create a shadow under it. "You're the positive impact in her life that she's been missing."
Maya glanced over her shoulder and smiled up at him. "You're a positive impact in her life too, you know? She works really hard at the things she loves a lot because of you. She picked up your work ethic and tries her hardest in everything she does because you've inadvertently taught her to never give up. You've come a long way as her father, and it's really changed the way she sees life in a good way, no matter how annoyed she is with her butt of a dad."
Lucas didn't say anything, his hand partially covering his mouth as he stroked his stubble with his fingers. But behind his hand, she caught the slight quirk of his lips and thought maybe she'd gone overboard with the compliments. It was the same look he'd had on his face right after she'd put pink paint on his nose at the fair. A look that screamed danger to her then and still screamed danger to her now.
"Anyway, I have a bone to pick with you." Maya narrowed her eyes as she changed the subject. "Have you been doing research on me? What's this about you knowing my NYU history?"
"Oh that? Anna wanted to know where you played softball so she could go there too. I looked you up and ended up finding that information. I promise I wasn't being some creeper." She eyed him warily, but he put his hand on his chest. "Scout's honour. Besides, if I wanted to know more about you, I would just ask you directly."
"Fair enough," Maya muttered, facing her painting again to get some more of the top finished. She didn't believe she would finish it any time soon, but in the past few minutes since Lucas came, she'd gotten no further in her painting, and she wanted to at least finish a couple more complicated clouds before she went home for the evening.
But she couldn't concentrate on anything, not when Lucas was leaning over her shoulder to watch her paint. He was a little too close. He was blocking some of the light on her canvas, and she could feel his body heat radiating from him. She was certain that if she took a small step back, she'd make contact with his chest. Maya wondered if he knew that and if that was his intention in the first place. She wouldn't put it past him, considering the way he'd been behaving towards her lately.
"Those are nice clouds. What's the final picture going to be?"
"I haven't figured it out yet. Kind of started this on a whim. You're blocking my light by standing so close, by the way," Maya said, though if she was honest with herself, she wasn't totally uncomfortable.
"Sorry."
He didn't sound sorry in the least, nor did he move. Her stomach fluttered in anticipation.
"You know…" Lucas murmured, a low, devious lull to his voice. "I still owe you for the paint on my nose thing last week."
He slowly dipped a finger in the blue paint, and Maya inhaled sharply, spinning around and stepping sideways to get away from him. She glared up at him in warning when he held his finger in front of her face.
"Don't you dare."
Lucas smeared the paint on the tip of her nose with a smirk, raising a brow in amusement. Maya narrowed her eyes, willing herself not to react to his goading.
"No retaliation?" he asked playfully.
She exhaled slowly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "I refuse to be as immature as you and lower myself to your standards."
"Suit yourself." Lucas took more paint and made two small whisker marks on her cheek.
Maya let out another long breath through her mouth, her irritation growing when he started chuckling. "I swear Lucas, if you put another bit of paint on my face—"
"What? Like this?"
He slowly put a line of paint down her chin like a goatee, biting his lower lip to keep from laughing, but he was definitely struggling to keep it together.
And that was that.
Maya flattened her hand on her palette of paint and smeared the mix of white and blue on his forearm. Lucas started laughing when she did the same to his other arm. She picked up the cup of paint to toss at him too, but he anticipated what she was planning to do and leaned away just as she tossed the paint. Maya gasped when it flew out of the cup and instead splashed on the computers in the computer area.
"Oh, you're such a cheater. You're not allowed to dodge!"
"You're hellbent on revenge. I'm not just going to let you turn me into a walking rainbow." He caught her wrists, keeping her from grabbing some more paint to try a second time. "I think this paint war should end before it ends up all over your classroom."
"You're just backing off because you know I would have won," Maya said smugly.
Lucas reached up and swiped his thumb across some of the paint on her cheek to wipe it off. His hand lingered on her face, just barely stroking her cheek. His eyes were hooded as he gazed down at her. Maya could feel the heat in her cheeks rising, her heart skipping a beat from the expression on his face.
"That's fine," he said in a low cadence. "I got your number over the weekend. I'm pretty sure that means I won at life."
"…I thought I told you to stop flirting with me," she said quietly.
"I thought it was pretty obvious by now that I'm kind of stubborn." Lucas tugged her closer to him, leaning down at bit with a wry smile on his lips. "I don't really listen well. You might have to remind me…"
Alarms were ringing in Maya's head, telling her they were too close than was appropriate. She knew she should have moved or pushed him away or something, but she was kind of frozen in place, mesmerised by Lucas' smile and the warmth in his gaze.
"So then it's your fault that Anna picked up a stubborn streak."
"Perhaps."
What was with him? Every time he was around, she felt like she was completely out of control. Every time he was in her presence, she always did such stupid things against her better judgement. Whatever this was, they had to stop it.
She frowned. "Lucas…"
"What is it about you, Maya Hart?" His gaze slid down to her lips, and Maya's breath hitched a bit in her chest. "I can never figure you out…"
She opened her mouth to respond, but her thoughts were drowned out by Anna's sudden exclamation.
"Daddy, guess what?!" she shouted from the hallway.
They broke away from each other as if they were on fire when Anna skipped into the room. Lucas cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck while Maya ran her clean hand through her hair and tried to pretend like she was preoccupied with observing her painting.
"Daddy, why do you have paint all over your arms?" Anna asked in confusion. "Did you try to paint a picture?"
"Yeah, but the canvas fought back," Lucas drawled, eyeing Maya briefly. Maya scoffed, giving him a dirty look over her shoulder, but he just chuckled. "Let me help you clean up. Anna, get your bags."
They grabbed sponges from the sinks in the back and set to work cleaning off the paint that had splattered on the computers and keyboards. The whole time, Maya tried to make sure she didn't make any contact with Lucas and fought to extinguish the flushing of her cheeks. He glanced at her a couple times, but she refused to meet his gaze. She couldn't believe she'd been stupid enough to let herself slip for even a second. She didn't know what would have happened without Anna's timely interruption, and it made her nervous.
Maya was so preoccupied with her thoughts as they washed the paint off their skin, that she didn't notice Anna picking up her wallet from the back table as she got her bag.
"Miss Hart? Who's this baby?" Anna asked curiously.
Maya turned around and her heart nearly stopped. Anna had opened up her wallet and pulled out the picture Maya kept of her baby. No one was supposed to see that.
Trying to appear nonchalant, Maya walked over to her and tried to not to act too affected. She knew the smile on her lips was a little strained, but if she made such a big deal about the photo, they would both get curious about her reaction.
"That's me," she lied, taking the photo and turning it flat so the words on the back couldn't be seen. "It's the only picture I have of myself as a baby, so I hold on to it so it doesn't get lost."
Lucas stared at it in interest. "Huh. Anna kind of looks like you did as a baby."
Maya glanced at the girl and then the picture. Anna did kind of resemble her baby in the picture, but only because of the colour of her eyes and hair. Maya also had looked like the baby in the picture when she'd been younger. As had Katy to an extent.
"Well, we were both blonde haired, blue eyed babies. It kind of makes sense."
"True." He turned back to his daughter. "Alright Anna. It's about time we headed home."
To Maya's sheer relief, they seemed to think nothing more of the picture. Anna gave Maya back the wallet, and Maya put the picture back in and slid it in her pocket with a mental sigh of relief. But it still took a few more seconds for her heartrate to slow.
"Don't worry about the rest of the clean-up," Maya said. "I can take care of it."
Lucas took Anna's bookbag and rucked it on his shoulder. "You sure?"
"Yeah, I have to finish up straightening the classroom anyway. You guys should head home."
"Alright." He gave her a concerned look, but Maya kept her gaze staunchly averted. If he looked at him, she'd only be reminded of the stupid thing she was sure they'd almost done. "Good to go, Anna?"
"Yupp! Bye Miss Hart!"
"Have a good evening, you two."
Once they were gone, Maya leaned against the sinks in the back, closing her eyes briefly and inhaling and exhaling slowly. That had been incredibly nervewracking. Thankfully, they hadn't questioned her, but if someone else who knew her past discovered the photo, she wouldn't be able to make any easy excuses.
Hurrying to go home, Maya straightened up the arts and craft area and any parts of her classroom in disorder. Mood to paint totally gone, she covered her unfinished painting and set it in her closet before grabbing her keys and bag and leaving for the teacher's lounge. She knew Riley must have fallen asleep there and someone had to wake her up and get her home, otherwise she would stay there the whole night.
Right when she reached the door of the lounge, she got a phone call from her mother.
"Any good news, Mom?" Maya asked, forgoing a greeting. Her nerves were shot and her energy had been sapped away from her interaction with Lucas and Anna. She desperately needed some good news or she'd spend the rest of the evening in a sour mood. Maybe the rest of the week.
"It might help with your investigation. I managed to convince your old obstetrician to look through the old records. All Shirley could supply to me is that her birth records and medical information were transferred to a hospital in Texas about seven years ago. That's as much information she can give you. Any more and she'll be going beyond her jurisdiction. I sent you an email with all the information."
"Thanks." It was a better lead than nothing. "I'm sure they have the adoption records at one of the hospitals. If I can figure out which hospital got my baby, then I can figure out who adopted my baby."
Katy sighed dejectedly. "Maya, how about you take a small break for a day or so? I feel like the more you look, the crazier it makes you. Let's get lunch one day. Talk about this. Talk about your plan. The chances of you figuring out who adopted her aren't going to be easy."
"Can you stop calling me crazy?" Maya snapped, her already sour mood growing worse.
"I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. I'm just trying to—"
"Do you have any idea what it's like for something to consume your life?" Maya hissed into the phone. She'd had enough of her mother's disdain for once. "For you to think about it nonstop until it's all that is left? If you're trying to talk me out of this, rethink your strategy."
"Maya, calm down. I'm not telling you not to look. I was just asking you to consider taking some time every once in a while for yourself."
"I don't have that luxury! Can you stop making suggestions like that when you don't understand what I'm going through at all? Just because you've never struggled with something like this—"
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Katy bellowed furiously. Maya's voice died in her throat in surprise at Katy's sudden exclamation of anger. "Maya, enough! You really think I've never struggled in my life?! I know you resent me—"
"I don't resent you—"
"Yes, you do! You've resented me for years because in your mind, I'm the reason why you don't have your baby anymore! You act like I wrecked your life by convincing you to give up your baby, but did you ever think about the alternative? If you had kept your baby? Do you not remember how much I suffered raising you, how much of a life I didn't have, everything I sacrificed so you'd have a future? Is that what you wanted for your future too? Working multiple jobs to pay the neverending bills to raise your child? Not having hot water multiple times a week? Almost being evicted every week? No retirement plan? No education? Dead end job? No one to help provide for your child except for your aging mother who could barely even see?!"
Maya remained silent, scowling in frustration, her breathing harsh as her lower lip trembled.
"You act like I'm the villain for some reason and obviously, Gammy is a saint to you, but I'm the one who had to live out my life paycheck to paycheck with no end to the struggle! I had you when I was barely eighteen Maya and my mom told me to keep the child, just like she said to you. You may hate that I wasn't 'on your side' but be glad that you had a mother who knew better. You needed someone to tell you the cold hard facts and truth. You needed a reality check, and I had to be the one to do it since no one else would! You might be mad that I was always working, but you have no idea the sacrifices I pulled just so that you would have a home to come home to after long days of school and something to eat every night. I gave up my life for you, worked my ass off, and struggled for it, so forgive me for wanting my daughter to be and do better than me! Forgive me for wanting you to have an actual life and going to college! Forgive me for hoping that you'd be able to live a good life you deserved, not one stuck washing dishes in a fucking diner!"
Katy fell abruptly silent, and Maya screwed her eyelids tightly shut, her eyes stinging sharply with the tears she wanted to shed.
"I… I just wanted to keep my baby mom. I wanted the chance to get to know my child. I carried her for nine months and I was attached to her, and then I had to let her go as if she was nothing." Maya took in a deep shuddering breath, squeezing her fist so tight her nails nearly bit into her skin. "At least you got that chance to know me, no matter how difficult your life was. At least you had the child you loved with you through your struggles! At least you got to watch your baby grow with no regrets!
"Yes, you had troubles raising me, but I still think that's ten thousand times better than having to give up your baby! You can't stand there and tell me that you weren't happy even if it was stressful! You had your child to love and care for! You had a daughter that you could watch grow into an adult, be successful in life, succeed in school, make something of herself against all odds. You got to watch that accidental child get a diploma and baccalaureate degree and then go on to get a Master's and teaching license. You can't act like all of that wasn't worth it if not for some years of difficulty! I never even touched my baby. And it kills me inside every hour of every day, Mom! Why don't you get that?"
Katy let out a long breath. "It doesn't have to be the end. You can get married, you know? You can find someone nice, fall in love, and create a family with them and start over, Maya. You can still be happy."
"You think I deserve happiness when I abandoned my child? I told you. Nothing good in my life can happen until I find her and make up for my years of absence," Maya said steadfastly.
"Fine, Maya. But as your mother, I can't sit here and watch you make yourself miserable. You are killing yourself, and watching you is killing me. I did my part to help you, but I want no part in this anymore. I won't intervene or oppose what you're doing ever again, but I'm not helping you destroy yourself."
"I didn't expect any less from you," Maya spat through grit teeth just to spite Katy. "It's not like you were ever active in my life anyway."
"I'm sorry you feel that way. Maybe one day you'll understand where I'm coming from," Katy replied softly, the pain in her tone making Maya's stomach twist in guilt. "Please take care of your health. Call me when you've finally figured everything out."
"I have to go, Mom."
The call ended without so much as a goodbye, and Maya stared down the empty hallway of the school, her heart lurching in her chest with each second that passed.
She'd always had a distant relationship with her mom, especially after the baby debacle, but now it was the worst it'd ever been. Maya wasn't even sure how to talk to her anymore. Her heart squeezed in her chest. She didn't want to fight with her mom about this, but they couldn't talk. Everything was an issue with them, and it pained her trying to find common ground.
But why couldn't Katy just understand the urgency of Maya's search? Why couldn't she support Maya for once? Through this whole ordeal, she'd gotten nothing but disdain from Katy and a lack of support that made her feel like her mother considered her a failure.
Maya took deep breaths to calm down her raging emotions. Once she was sure she'd gotten herself carefully under control, she headed into the lounge. And almost immediately froze in place when she saw Riley was sitting wide awake on the couch and putting her shoes back on.
"You're awake?"
"I could hear you outside." Riley tied the laces of her canvas sneakers and sat up, watching her in concern. "Talking to your mom?"
Maya nodded, feeling anxious. "You heard my conversation?"
"Not much. I was still groggy. I think I heard you mention your baby though." Riley gave her an odd look. "You haven't mentioned that situation in several years."
Maya held her breath. How much exactly had Riley heard? "That's because the situation ended in college."
It wouldn't do to get Riley suspicious about the situation. Riley had been one of the few who were there when Maya had her breakdown in college and started searching desperately for her baby. If she figured out what Maya was doing, she'd tried to stop it just like Katy had. And Maya couldn't have that. Not when she was finally making some headway.
"I know. You've been okay since therapy." Riley rotated her shoulder to work out some kinks. "I just didn't realise you could talk about it now. I'm just glad you're not looking for her anymore like before. You were making yourself sick from searching. You lost like more than ten pounds through that ordeal and there was this hollow look in your eyes every day that terrified me."
"It's not a topic that's easy to approach." Maya lied to change the subject. "My mom just wanted to know if I was trying to have any other children."
"Are you?" Riley asked cautiously.
Maya glanced out the window. She absolutely wasn't. "Those years were unpleasant for me, Riley. I'm not in a place where I can decide easily about having more children."
Riley must have seen something in Maya's eyes because she stood up in a flourish and clapped her hands. Maya was so lost in her thoughts she jumped slightly, turning back to look at Riley with a raised brow.
"You know what? Let's go by cake. On me." Riley snatched her bag up from beside the couch and guided Maya out of the doors of the room.
"What's the occasion?" Maya asked, glad that Riley picked up on the distress signals she was putting out.
"My new place! So I talked to Smackle about the apartment, and she's down for letting me have it. I'm meeting the landlord soon to discuss transferring the lease on the contract to my name." Riley grinned. "Aiden will have a chance to have his own room, and with all the extra space, I'll be able to properly create and furnish a house for my child to grow up in! Isn't it so exciting?"
It was, except for the part where Riley had gone through with getting Smackle's apartment. If Lucas ever needed Maya's help with Anna again, she would have to be careful in the area. Riley was the kind of person who sought fresh air whenever she could. Smackle's apartment had an easy view of the street, and if Riley happened to see Maya walking Anna home, the questions would never end.
"When are you moving there?"
"I was thinking the first week of December. That gives me about three weeks before Aiden is born so I can get my apartment together. You'll help me move in, right?"
"Yeah… I know I'll be doing most of the heavy lifting anyway."
"Great! This'll be so much fun! Okay, let's go. You need cheering up and that's my job!" She linked an arm with Maya and tugged her towards the parking lot in the front.
Maya didn't think she'd be able to cheer up the rest of the day, but if Riley caught wind of her melancholy, she'd think something was seriously wrong. At least for now Maya would try to feign some sort of happiness at least until she got home that night.
But now that she had specific information she desperately needed to narrow down her search, she was sure she could find her baby. She was so close. There was no way she could stop now.