Chuck sat in his usual seat on the back bench of their beloved limo, the side of his head casually resting against the window pane as he watched all the once familiar city lights go by in a blur as it was already after dark by the time they made their way back to the island which was bustling with activity on a Friday night.

He could hear his son going on about something, his wife beside him giving their son her full attention as Chuck was simply lost in thought.

It had been months since he last set foot in the city they called home, having had the jet land in Teterboro last weekend and the car scheduled to take him from there straight out to the Hamptons. While the drive through the city to their townhouse in the historic district just around the corner from Central Park West was all too familiar, he couldn't help the tiny bit of... was that fear he was feeling?... as they got closer and closer to their home. The Hamptons and the White Party had been merely a test, he decided – a trial run if you will - as he slowly reemerged himself into society. One that in some ways he felt he had failed as it was all too easy for Teddy Williams to make him start questioning if he could go without a drink. Now that they were back, in the city... this was the real deal, he told himself. The real test. And he knew it wasn't going to be easy.

"Hey," her voice softly spoke to him, drawing him out of his thoughts as he felt her dainty hand suddenly cover his own on the empty bench space between them. "You can do this," Blair assured him with a gentle squeeze, as if she knew all the doubts and worries that were currently flooding his mind.

Their eyes stayed locked on each other's for a moment more, a silent exchange between them while their young son's voice carried on throughout the back of the vehicle. Knowing she was confident and believed in him was all the assurance he needed. Lifting her hand to his lips, he gave her a delicate kiss in gratitude, their eyes never leaving the others.

That is, until a moment later when Henry excitedly announced they were home, causing Monkey to start barking in joy, his tail wagging as he ran back and forth throughout the vehicle, periodically jumping up onto the side bench facing the house to bark at it as well.

Arthur had no sooner opened the door when both boy and dog piled out, running up the sidewalk to the front door. Rolling her eyes at her son's behavior, Blair quickly exited after them to make sure no one got hurt.

Chuck waited for a moment, taking a deep breath and then exhaling before he too climbed out of the vehicle and onto the sidewalk.

"Welcome home, sir," Arthur announced with a knowing smile as he closed the door to the back of the limo behind Chuck.

"Thank you, Arthur," Chuck addressed him before the faithful driver made his way to the trunk to retrieve their luggage.

Standing there, watching the scene unfold before him – Blair attempting to calm an impatient Henry who was anxiously waiting to be let in all while Monkey leapt up and down on his young master, just as eager to go inside – he remembered the last time he stood there on that exact sidewalk, looking up at those front stairs.

It was a weekday for all he knew as he had been to the office earlier that day, however Serena had messaged him, requesting he meet her downstairs at the bar for a drink. He knew it probably wasn't the best idea to indulge her, given the standoff he had had with Blair the night before when it had gotten late, he had lost track of time and she had tracked him down at Victrola, demanding he come home with her "or else." He knew he should have just given in and listened to her – she always did have his best interest in mind – yet something about the way she demanded it and given the fact that he was already pretty drunk... he wasn't about to be told what to do. So rather than going home with her he opted instead to check into one of his hotels for the night, sleeping it off and going into the office the next day.

Catching a drink with Serena in the middle of the afternoon was starting to become a habit though... one he knew Blair wouldn't be thrilled to learn about, yet at the same time, he knew Serena was going through the exact same thing he was and if he could help his step-sister cope just a little bit... well, it would all be worth, he thought, telling himself he was saving Blair the trouble. He knew he was enough of a mess for her to deal with at the moment, she didn't need the mess that was currently Serena added to her plate as well. But of course having a drink with Serena meant reminiscing about Nate yet again... a topic he was trying not to think about but obviously failing. When she left after getting a call from Dan wondering where the hell she was and why she hadn't come home yet, Chuck decided once more to stop by Victrola in yet another sad attempt to again try and escape all the feelings he was feeling.

Knowing he couldn't shut her out two nights in a row, he dragged himself home that night... only to find his key didn't work.

He rang the doorbell several times, knowing full well that Henry wasn't in bed yet and that Blair was definitely home, given the lights in the upstairs hallways could be seen from the street below.

"Blair! I know you're home!" he eventually began to yell at the door as he pounded his fist against the wood. "Let me in!"

This went on for several minutes, Monkey barking wildly at the door from the other side at all the commotion, before Chuck resorted to another method: stepping back down to the sidewalk and tossing several small pebbles from the gravel beneath the bushes planted along the front of the house up at the windows above. He swore he saw her shadow in the third story window.

"I know you're there, Blair!" he bellowed up at the windows from down below. By now several of the neighbors had turned their porch lights on, having heard the ruckus outside. He noticed several watching from just inside their front windows while another brave few stood on their front doorsteps. He didn't care though. He was going to make her open that door one way or another.

"Mister Chuck, stop it!" Dorota demanded a moment later as she quickly opened the door only to promptly shut it behind her as she stepped outside to face him on Blair's behalf. "You cause scene – wake up entire block!"

"Sorry, Dorota however it seems my key wouldn't work in the door," he sneered in annoyance as it was obvious he was purposely being kept from entering his house. "And woken up my ass – it's only eight o'clock!"

"Still – all neighborhood is watching," Dorota pointed out, causing Chuck to look up and down their block, noting that she was indeed correct.

"Sorry, folks – nothing to see! Just got locked out!" he quickly announced, hoping that would quell their curious eyes. It seemed to have worked as curtains were closed and doors were soon shut. "Well thank you, Dorota, for answering... now if you'll excuse me," he stated as he attempted to push past her to head inside.

"No, Mister Chuck – Ms Blair say no," Dorota hurriedly told him, continuing to stand her ground between him and the door.

"Ms Blair say no?" Chuck questioned in a mock tone. "Ms Blair say no to what? This is my home, I paid for it, I'm going inside!"

"No!" Dorota snapped at him, still refusing him entry. "Ms Blair say you not welcome here, not after last night! She have things sent to penthouse of Palace, where you are to stay the night," she informed him.

"You've got to be kidding me," he stated as he stood there in disbelief.

"No kidding," Dorota clarified as she stood guard, hands on her hips. "You go there and think of what you done... how to be Better Mister Chuck for Ms Blair and Mister Henry."

"Did she say that or is that all you?" he couldn't help wondering.

"It doesn't matter – it still true," the help told him. "Mister Chuck... you need help. You not in good place right now..."

"I'd be in a better place if I wasn't being denied entry into my house right now," he snarled, getting fed up with both Dorota and her unsolicited advice. "Let me through or you're fired," he threatened after a brief stare down. He knew it was a long shot, as the maid was ultimately loyal to Blair, however he figured it wouldn't hurt to try.

"Ms Blair say you try that tactic and assure me I have nothing to worry," she confirmed what he already figured. "You don't scare me, Mister Chuck – as I tell you before, KGB can't get me to budge, neither can you."

"Fine," he huffed in annoyance, realizing it was a lost cause. At least for tonight. "She wins this time, but tell her this isn't over. It's not over, Blair!" he suddenly yelled upward, having had a feeling she was still upstairs, watching. "I'll be back!" he declared as he nearly stumbled down the steps, glaring up at Dorota who still stood watch in front of the door, her arms crossed as she stared him down.

He staggered on down the street, to the end of the block towards Central Park West where he attempted to hail a cab, cursing under his breath the entire time as how dare she deny him entry into their home – his home.

Their home, he reminded himself as he continued to stand there, lost in the memory.

"Chuck?" Blair called to him from the front steps, curious as to what was taking him so long. "Are you coming in or are you just going to stand out here all night?"

Shaking his head free from his thoughts, drawing himself back to the present, he began to ascend the stairs to the front porch, joining her at the front door.

"Mister Chuck! Welcome home!" he heard Dorota excitedly greet him as he no sooner set foot into their townhouse.

"Thank you, Dorota," he kindly returned her greeting, showing no sign of animosity over their last exchange, as she embraced him in a warm, friendly hug.

"Here, I take your bags and put away," she quickly tasked herself as she reached for the luggage that Arthur had unloaded and sat behind them in the hallway.

"Of course... the third floor guest room is fine," Chuck informed her.

While last night had been wonderful, both of them getting their first solid night of sleep in months, Chuck didn't dare overstep things with Blair and press his luck just yet.

"That won't be necessary – take them to the master suite, please, Dorota," Blair ordered, at once.

"Are you sure?" Chuck couldn't help questioning as he looked at her, confused. "I thought you weren't-"

"Last night was fine, Chuck," she informed him. "I trust you – you were a perfect gentleman and besides – I'd rather not have to hunt you down in the middle of the night if and when I decide to finally give in," she playfully added with a devilish grin as she walked past him, quickly following after Dorota.

"Did you do as I asked?" she promptly questioned the help once she caught up with her on the stairs.

"Yes, Miss Blair – all liquor and alcohol has been removed from the premises. Mister Arthur had car searched as well."

"And the hidden stashes in both the bedroom and the study?"

"Exactly where you say they be," Dorota confirmed. "All have been discarded."

"Good," Blair decided, pausing on the second floor landing to think if there was possibly anywhere else that may have been missed. Satisfied that it seemed Dorota had gotten it all, she turned to head back downstairs, where she spied her husband helping their son hang up his jacket in the front hall closet.

"Henry, dear... it's very late – you need to get ready for bed," she stated, much to her son's dismay.

It had been a long day for all of them.

While she had gotten the best sleep she had had in months, nestled up beside her husband, as things should be, Henry had burst into the room early that morning, first to ask his mother where his father was only to be happily surprised to have already found him and then insisting he get up to take him on a seashell hunt – as promised the night before. Having spent all morning and most of the afternoon on the beach, in the sun, Chuck and Blair had decided to pack it in for the summer and return to the city after dinner, allowing the three of them to adjust to being home for the weekend before the hustle and bustle of their daily lives resumed on Monday, what with school starting for Henry and Blair's attention being needed at the atelier for Fashion Week which was fast approaching.

"Can daddy help me?" Henry wondered, his eyes big with concern as he was afraid his father might leave again the second he was out of his sight.

"Of course, Hen," Chuck assured him, picking him up as he moved to carry him up the stairs. "And your mother can help tuck you in," he added, so as to make sure she didn't feel left out. While Henry had always been a mama's boy most of the time, there was no doubt that he was suddenly glued to his father now and the last thing Chuck wanted was for Blair to resent him moving back in and monopolizing their son's attention. "It's only because I've been gone," he whispered as they passed her, trying to reassure her that this behavior was only temporary.

"I know," she sighed as she admitted it to herself. Henry had missed Chuck greatly these last few months. It was normal for him to want to spend as much time with his father as possible until he realized Chuck wasn't going anywhere again, she reminded herself. Kicking him out had been both a curse and a blessing in disguise.

"I thought I might find you up here," Blair sighed in relief as she had no sooner stepped up onto their rooftop patio and discovered her husband leaning against the brick half wall, overlooking the city. She had stood in the doorway watching him tuck their son in and read him a story when she noticed an abrupt shift in Chuck's mood. He had been relaxed - comfortable almost - reading the familiar tale from Henry's storybook when all of a sudden he seemed to tense up, struggling to finish. As soon as the story was over, he quickly kissed Henry goodnight, assured him he would see him in the morning and then rushed out of the room, leaving her to step in and finish the routine. To say it was odd was an understatement.

"Everything okay?" she pried.

Chuck turned his head slightly from where he stood, noting that it was in fact her, before turning his attention back to the whirl of city lights across the landscape.

"Yeah... I just-" he started only to stop. "I really missed this view," he told her. While it wasn't exactly why he came up there in the first place, it wasn't entirely a lie.

"I can imagine," she stated as she approached him, leaning her back against the railing so to face him. "I recall this roof and the view was what finally sold you on the house," she reminisced at the struggle they had gone through to find the perfect home they both liked. While she had been quite picky, Chuck's requests were rather simple with a private rooftop with a view being at the top of his short list. "But I also recall when you're not telling me everything," she went on, pressing him to open up to her.

He sighed in defeat. It was pointless to try and deny something was wrong. She knew him too well and if he didn't offer it up himself she'd just pry it out of him anyway.

"Chuck, what's wrong?" she questioned him again.

The doorbell had no sooner rang and while they both knew Dorota would get the door, Blair still insisted he rush down the stairs to greet their guest's arrival.

"Hey, man! Merry Christmas!" Nate exclaimed in greeting as Chuck met him in the foyer. They quickly shared a familiar, brotherly embrace with a pat on the back. Chuck couldn't help noticing Dorota already putting Nate's coat in the closet as she began to walk past them towards the living room, Nate's presents in tow along with a giant... giraffe?

"Merry Christmas to you too... and just what is... that...?" his voice trailed as he watched their trusty maid set the giant stuffed animal in the corner of the room, near the tree.

"Hm?" Nate questioned before looking to see just where his best friend was looking. "Oh! That! Found it at FAO Schwartz. Figured Hen would love it!" he beamed with pride at his gift.

"I'm sure he would..." Chuck no sooner mumbled when the boy in question came dashing down the stairs, Monkey right behind him.

"Whoa! What's that?!" a two year old Henry gasped in awe as he instantly laid eyes on it.

"That, is your Christmas present," Nate proudly informed him as he crouched down to his nephew's level.

"Wow! It's just like the one at the zoo!" Henry was quick to point out as he began to approach where Dorota had placed it, his eyes wide in awe.

"You know Blair's going to kill you, right?" Chuck leaned over and whispered to his lifelong best friend with a chuckle. He couldn't wait to witness her reaction to it.

"Yeah, I know... but I figure it's something he'll grow up with and besides – I couldn't just let Aunt Serena win best gift two years in a row," he said with a laugh.

"It's not a competition, Nathaniel..."

"I thought everything was a competition for the Basses," Nate reminded Chuck.

"Hi, Nate," Blair greeted as she made her way down the stairs, pausing just before the last two as she laid eyes on the giant animal in her living room, clashing with her holiday décor. "What is that?" she immediately demanded to know.

"Henry's gift, from his Uncle Nate," Chuck answered, a slight edge to his voice letting Blair know he was just as thrilled about it as she was.

"Okay, well... Dorota!" she called out suddenly. "We'll have her take it upstairs to Henry's room," she decided at once.

"You can take it up later – I can't wait for Serena to see it," Nate grinned.

"Yeah, mommy! Gerald can't go upstairs already," Henry protested. "I just got him!"

"Gerald?" Blair questioned, slightly confused.

"Yeah, like in the book," he reminded his mother, as if it were obvious. "He has to meet Auntie S and Grandmere... and Poppo Cyrus... and Grandma Lily..." Henry rattled on.

"I... um..." Blair stumbled on her words, not quite sure what to say, looking towards Chuck to intervene. "Chuck?"

"I already tried," Chuck simply answered as he too was at a loss for what to do. Nate was pleased with his outrageous gift and neither of them had the heart to crush his pride right then and well, Henry had made quite the case as to why Gerald needed to stay put for now.

"Fine," Blair huffed, annoyed as she thought of how tacky the toy would appear in all the Christmas photos, given its prominent placement in the room near the tree. "But it's not staying down here," she muttered under her breath as all three of them watched Henry happily run back into the room, investigating the rest of his wrapped presents under the tree.

Little did Blair know then, that giraffe she had loathed Nate giving her son would take up permanent residence in her living room for nearly two years. She had become convinced that Nate had been feeding Henry excuses as to why it couldn't possibly be moved elsewhere in the house.

"I noticed you finally got him to move Gerald to his room," he confessed.

"Ah, yes... Gerald..." Blair remarked as she began to piece together what had happened.

"I admit, I'm quite surprised he agreed," Chuck uttered.

"Between you and me, I wish Monkey had gotten ahold of it like he does my Jimmy Choos..."

"Blair..."

"What?! It's true! You know how much I despised Nate bringing that thing into our house..." she sharply reminded him before taking a moment to breathe and collect herself. "It's amazing... the memories a simple toy can conjure up, just like that... You know, I'm allowed to grieve too, Chuck. While you're my first, last and forever in every way that truly matters... he was still my childhood sweetheart and a good friend even after," she finally said it, getting it out in the open.

Serena and Chuck both had gotten to air their grievances, often a bit too publicly – Chuck because Nate was practically his brother and Serena... well, it seemed everyone but her knew Nate was her true love. But for Blair... she quietly sat on the sidelines, keeping her grief over her childhood love inside while struggling to keep her husband and best friend from drowning in their own sorrows.

Chuck closed his eyes as he fought back the pain, realizing that she was right. She had just as much a reason to be broken over Nate as him and Serena. The four of them had been friends for years, inseparable at times. He sometimes wondered that if it hadn't been for Nate, if him and Blair would have ever been friends originally.

He recalled the first time they met.

Bart and the Captain had recently become business acquaintances and well, being old money, the Waldorf's, Archibald's and Lily and the Rhodes' already knew each other. It was at some society gathering, Chuck had been tagging along with Nate as he didn't know anyone else there and the new school year hadn't started yet. When Nate introduced them all, Chuck couldn't help thinking how pretty the smaller brunette was. And what really captured his young attention back then was the purple bow headband she was wearing. It was his favorite color. He should have known then that it was a sign.

"I'm sorry," was all he could manage. Unlike him and Serena, she never got the chance to even try and get it all out, she had been too focused on taking care of them.

"As much as I hate to admit it, I believe my theory was correct," she sadly informed him as she stared out across the brightly lit skyline.

"Oh?" Chuck wondered, wanting her to elaborate.

"The last time I suggested we move Gerald to his room... he had only paused for a moment to think it over before agreeing to it. No protesting or counter argument... no random excuse... I almost felt guilty for having finally won," she confessed, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat.

"He loves that thing... because his Uncle Nate gave it to him," Chuck quietly spoke as he came to the conclusion. "And naturally, he probably just wants to keep him close because of that."

"Chuck, I'm sorry... I know... it's difficult for you to be reminded that he's not here with us..."

"It's fine," he shortly spoke, preferring her not to continue.

"You know it's okay to talk about it, about him..."

"I don't want to," he quickly spoke back because really, he didn't. "What would you think to installing a pool up here?" he suddenly asked, changing the subject completely.

"I... don't see why we couldn't," Blair responded, caught by surprise at his request. "Henry and Monkey would love it during warmer breaks..." her voice trailed as she began to think. "At the Hamptons... I couldn't help noticing you would swim a few laps after tucking Henry in on several occasions," she finally confronted him about his newest activity. While it wasn't like he was keeping it a secret, as far as she knew, no one had asked him about it.

"I... it's... it's nothing," Chuck stumbled, not really sure how to respond. "Just something I had tried out in rehab from time to time... I've found it helps me clear my head, regain my focus..."

"But you didn't do it every night," Blair pointed out, curious to get to the bottom of it.

"It's a coping mechanism, okay, Blair?" he bit back, going on the defensive. Even though he knew he could tell her anything, when it came to something as sensitive as dealing with his condition he couldn't help but feel a little ashamed. "When I get stressed and need to clear my mind... I know it's stupid..."

"Chuck, I don't think it's stupid-"

"But it's also calming and seems to help..."

"Well if you think it would help then I don't see why we couldn't install a pool up here, but Chuck... eight months out of the year it's usually a little too cold for an outdoor swim," she reminded him, being practical. "What are you planning on doing for the other eight months?" she carefully pried.

"I... I don't know, I haven't figured that out yet," he regretfully confessed as it occurred to him that he hadn't fully thought his coping method through completely.

"Serena's mentioned Dan sometimes smokes when he starts stressing over a deadline or whatnot," she informed him as the idea came to her. "I recall you used to smoke on occasion..."

"I'm not taking up smoking again, Blair," he interrupted her train of thought.

"Well it was just a suggestion... I know some people say it helps," she rationalized.

"True, however it's not exactly healthy to replace one vice with another, which is essentially what I would be doing," he explained. "Instead of a glass of scotch, I'd just have a cigarette for a crutch instead."

"I guess you're right," she decided as she understood what he was saying. "I just didn't realize you were quitting everything all at once."

"I told you – I'm taking it serious this time. I went through a total detox my first week there just to get clean and sober - I'm determined to stay that way," he reminded her once more. "Besides, detoxes are a lot of work and not fun at all... I'd rather not have to go through another anytime in the foreseeable future..." he paused, turning around to lean against the rail once more as well to face her. "Look, Blair... I know I really screwed up – big time – and I truly am sorry for that. You didn't deserve any of it. But I really am trying this time. Please, don't give up on me yet," he nearly pleaded.

At hearing his words, Blair looked up from her post to note the sincerity in his eyes. What she saw was a broken, desperate man, trying to piece himself back together. Of course she couldn't turn away from him.

Leaning over, she lightly brushed her lips against his in a chaste, lingering kiss.

"I won't," she softly promised, resting her forehead against his.

Breathing deeply, she nervously nibbled on her bottom lip as she debated her next move. She still wasn't ready to be with him completely just yet... however... she still wanted him.

Going for it, she reached upward once more, capturing his lips against hers with more passion this time. Naturally he reciprocated her kiss with a searing one of his own. Not wanting to be separated from him ever again, Blair locked her arms around his neck, her fingers running through the hair at the back of his neck as she felt his fingers instinctively trailing carefully along her back.

Back and forth, they traded slow, passionate, hungry kisses for a moment before Chuck forced himself to turn away, stopping things from going even further, her lips landing on his cheek.

"Please, don't tempt me right now if you're not ready for where this is headed," he breathlessly pleaded with her, fighting back the tears he could feel forming behind his eyelids at her inevitable rejection. He wanted so badly to be with her in every way, yet he knew she wasn't ready.

Damnit! Blair cursed in her head as she closed her eyes and inhaled his scent. It was as if he had read her mind, knowing the war she was waging within herself.

"Fine, you're right..." she sighed, a bit frustrated but mainly with herself. "I'm going to get ready for bed, don't stay up too late," she spoke in his ear before delicately placing one more lingering kiss to his cheek, gently stroking it before she turned to walk away.

Chuck deeply exhaled the breath he didn't realize he had been holding as he opened his eyes and watched her make her way down the staircase, back into the house. He was definitely going to need a cold shower before bed tonight.

AN: So originally this chapter and the next 2 were all going to be chapter 4, however the last third grew into a monster of chapter we've been referring to as Smutfest (which considering some of you have requested smut, I know you'll be eagerly anticipating that chapter! =D ), and then as I started fleshing out the first half, this part grew into its own chapter and combining it with the next set of events and eventually Smutfest... well, it got to be really, really long so we (my wonderful, wonderful friend and beta Mary aka scarlett2u and I) agreed it would be best to break it up into several smaller chapters.

So, here we see Chuck return home after being gone for just over three months and dealing with memories of what happened last time he was there. The next chapter deals with his return to Bass Industries and him and Blair's confrontations with certain... relatives who are less than thrilled to see Chuck return and what that means for them... (yeah, I'm sure you know to whom I'm referring! ;-) )

And the infamous giraffe made its appearance! For those not aware, in the five year flash forward, you see Henry playing and picking up his toys and in the corner is the giraffe, a toy that many in the fandom have come to believe was a present from his Uncle Nate, so yeah, we're going with that!

As always, thanks for all the comments/reviews as well as follows/favorites/reads! It means a lot to me to see those little numbers rise and to hear your feedback and requests for more!

Until next time!
XoXo