Blair knew he was angry – and truthfully she couldn't blame him – she would have been just as livid if he had pulled the same stunt she did.
While it was true, she now knew who the father of this little girl growing inside her was, she didn't confirm or deny anything to Chuck simply because she wanted to believe what he originally promised her. That it didn't matter to him who her father actually was because he was going to love and accept her regardless whether or not she was his. She needed to know that Chuck was over it. Him holding to his promise was her way of knowing that he was in fact truly over her stupid drunken decision and had forgiven her for it.
Blair winced in their bedroom when she heard him slam the door to the study.
And she then grew curious from the staircase as she could hear him opening and closing drawers... tossing something around in there before it dawned on her that he was probably looking for something to drink, despite the fact that she had Dorota clear out his entire stash before they returned from The Hamptons.
After hearing him scream – just what she couldn't tell as while the room wasn't completely sound-proofed, the walls did a good job at muffling the noise – she knew something had happened and that she needed to go check on him.
Watching as Chuck made his way down the street, ignoring her as she yelled after him to get back in the house, not caring what their neighbors thought, Blair feared the worst.
She quickly ran for her phone upstairs, putting out an APB to all their hotel bars, giving them a heads up that Chuck might be on his way there and that regardless of what he threatened them, under no circumstances were they to serve him.
Carefully approaching the still open door to his study, she turned the light back on only to be taken back by the sight in the room.
Books were scattered all over the floor, papers strewn all across the desk... crystal shattered in one corner. She felt a few tears start to trickle down her cheeks as she realized that her plan to know how he truly felt may have just undone five months of hard work. She was a little nervous as to what she would wake up to in the morning.
Slowly exiting the room, Blair curled up on the couch in the first floor sitting room, the fire from before still crackling in the fireplace as she waited for him to return, clutching her phone in hopes that one of the bartenders would let her know where he had gone so she could go get him.
Chuck walked into the midtown diner and immediately began looking around for the man he had met once before he left rehab. Fortunately he didn't have to look too hard as a man hunched over at the counter had turned around as soon as the bell on the door announced a new arrival, quickly waving right at Chuck with a friendly smile.
"David?" Chuck questioned as he strolled up to the man.
"Chuck! Long time, no see," the man greeted him warmly.
"And I would have preferred to have kept it that way," Chuck sighed, a little bit ashamed, as he helped himself to the bar stool next to his sponsor.
"Hey, man – don't beat yourself up over it. It happens to everyone at some point," David tried to assure him. "Honestly, knowing of your history and everything you must deal with on a regular basis – the workload, the social gatherings... I'm a little surprised you've made it this long! Most new recoveries don't go a month without needing to call their sponsor."
"Yeah well... it hasn't been easy," Chuck admitted as he flagged down the waitress on duty.
"Hello there! I'm Dolores – what can I get you, dear?" the older woman eagerly questioned him, notepad in hand as she waited to take his order.
"I'll just have a coffee, please – black," he specified as the woman tucked her notepad away and immediately pulled out a coffee mug from behind the counter, sitting it in front of Chuck before she went to retrieve a pot.
"So... how'd you make it so long? Obviously you've found some way to cope," David questioned as he sipped on his own cup of Joe.
"My wife... she's pretty good at talking me out of it or finding other ways to distract me from whatever is stressing me out," Chuck casually stated. Dolores poured him a warm cup and he quickly thanked her before she turned away to help another customer.
"Yeah? That's good you got someone like her for support," David nodded in agreement. "What happened tonight?"
"It... had to do with something she did," Chuck spoke a moment later, trying to figure out the best way to put it without giving away too much information. While the first thing he did was have his PI pull up anything and everything about the guy when he learned who his sponsor was, Chuck still didn't know him well enough to know if he could trust him completely when it came to other personal matters. "Let's just say... we had a major difference in opinion, she ended up doing something I still can't believe she did... it made me furious with her and in my anger I frantically sought every place in my study I could remember having hidden alcohol. I just needed something to calm myself down..." he sadly explained.
"I see," David simply said, not pushing it any further, for which Chuck was grateful. "Have you gone to any meetings yet?"
"Meetings?" Chuck questioned, not quite sure what type of meeting he was referring to. "Like with my shrink? Yeah, I flew back just over a month ago for a check-in," he assured him.
"No, no – not your regular check-ins. I mean like AA," David clarified.
"AA? As in Alcoholics Anonymous?" Chuck asked with a raised eyebrow.
When David confirmed with a nod that that was in fact what he meant, Chuck scoffed at the thought of himself sitting in a circle, drinking cheap coffee in small white Styrofoam cups with strangers for a few hours a week in some empty hall in the outer boroughs like you see in the movies.
"Chuck, c'mon – I know what you're thinking but hear me out," David tried to reason. "Sometimes... meeting with a group of others who are going through the exact same thing as yourself... sometimes it helps hearing how they've learned to cope. Don't write it off right away."
"People like me aren't seen at places like AA," Chuck hissed in annoyance that he even needed to explain this. "Hell, people like me aren't usually seen in places like this," he added as he noted his surroundings.
"Money and status don't buy happiness, Chuck," his sponsor was quick to point out before pausing to let it sink in. "It's nothing to be ashamed of – guys like you... it's really no surprise that you have a drug or alcohol problem. You're privileged from the second you're born, exposed to ridiculously luxurious lifestyles at such a young age... no one in this city bats an eye when as teenagers you walk into a bar and order whatever drink is the latest trend. It's part of a lifestyle you unknowingly became accustomed to simply because it was always there and to you it was just a normal part of life. It's what people of your status did growing up," he pointed out. "Am I wrong?"
Chuck sat there for a moment, mulling it over.
It was all true.
Growing up, his father parading women around like they were simply accessories. The lavish parties he had attended as a child and later as a teen, alcohol flowing just as freely as the drugs. It really was no surprise he had a problem. And he had been exposed to it much younger than the majority of his peers all had – by the time they were all tasting their first shot of vodka in seventh grade, Chuck was already a seasoned drinker.
"Look, I'm not saying you have to go, but I think checking it out wouldn't hurt," his sponsor continued. "I'm coming up on ten years sober in January."
"Congrats," Chuck mumbled, unthrilled despite knowing what a huge accomplishment that was. He'd be shocked if he made it that long. Hell, he'd be shocked if he made it an entire year without a single drop or puff of anything.
"You're the third one I've sponsored," David continued.
"What happened to the other two?" Chuck couldn't help wondering as he continued to stare into his coffee mug.
"My second... I haven't gotten a call from in nearly three years. I've heard he's doing quite well for himself – he was fifteen when we first met and he's going on five years clean and sober, having since moved up in his job, happily married and expecting his first child this winter," David proudly informed him.
"And the other?" Chuck pressed him to go on.
"He was nineteen when I agreed to sponsor him. Had a rough first year... went back into rehab after being out for three months... he'd been doing fine – great in fact – and then the pressure would get to him, he'd run into someone from his past lifestyle and the cycle would start all over again..."
"What happened to him?" Chuck anxiously asked, having grown interested in the story.
"After eighteen months of going back and forth... he was found dead in his apartment. An accidental overdose as he mixed his drugs with his alcohol," David sadly recalled as he stared off into the distance, lost in the memory. "It hit me hard as he was my first... I had tried to help him in every way possible... but Chuck, you can't help someone who won't help themselves. He had every tool, every resource at his grasp... and yet he couldn't do it. He couldn't find a way to successfully cope and deal with the pressure... which is why finding a healthy, alternative way to cope with things is so important."
Chuck continued to sit there, taking it all in.
"That's great to hear you have such a loving and supportive wife, but Chuck... you need to know there's going to be times where the urge to have a drink might hit you when she's not around or available. And then there's likely to be times like tonight, where she's the cause of your stress. And then what?" David posed the question, making Chuck think long and hard for moment, coming to the conclusion that he had a good point.
"What do you do?" Chuck couldn't help wondering, curious as to what miraculous solution his sponsor had found.
"I walk," David answered, as if it were obvious.
"You walk?" Chuck asked once more, a bit skeptical that it was that simple.
"Sometimes I run too," he added with a chuckle as Chuck looked at him in disbelief. "But no, I'm serious – I make my money walking the pooches of Manhattan's elite such as yourself. You know, people who are too busy to take their animals for a walk themselves but they like having them around as a fashion statement."
"You know, it's not fair to generalize all us billion and millionaires who own pets," Chuck stated as he rolled his eyes at the man's assumption.
"Oh yeah? You have a pet?" his sponsor asked, curious.
"One," Chuck remarked as he paused to take a drink. "A dog."
"What breed?"
"Not really sure. He's basically a mutt."
"Lemme guess, your kid picked him out at a shelter and just had to have him despite his lack of pedigree?"
"No..." Chuck lowly growled, growing annoyed at all the assumptions. "Monkey was a gift to me from someone who I thought at the time was a friend when I literally felt like my world was falling apart. He was trying to make me feel anything as I had grown numb both physically and emotionally to all emotion and pain."
"Interesting," David remarked as he sat there, a bit surprised.
"Look, I know when it comes to sponsorship you don't judge when it comes to vices, but if you're going to be all judgmental and make assumptions about all the other aspects of my life and lifestyle, perhaps we should part ways," Chuck decided as he began to pull out his wallet and flipped through his cash, looking for any bill smaller than a twenty.
"Alright, alright – I'm sorry," David quickly apologized. "And don't, I'll pay," he attempted to stop Chuck by gently pushing his money away.
"I'm the one that dragged you out here in the middle of the night," Chuck argued as he resigned himself to just using a twenty, sitting the bill on the counter.
"I didn't mean to judge you, okay? Although I am a bit surprised to hear that one of the wealthiest guys in the entire city proudly owns a mutt," David couldn't help laughing at the irony. "Look, I didn't exactly grow up like you did. I wasn't raised with an opulent amount of wealth. Being flown out to Switzerland to meet you at the rehabilitation center... that was actually my first time out of the US. I'm from Ohio and I came here nearly twelve years ago with a dream of making it big in the city just like any other Midwestern kid fresh out of high school."
Great, I got the Daniel Humphrey of sponsors... Chuck sarcastically thought to himself.
"Instead I ended up getting mixed up with the wrong people and it led me down the same path you've been down," he continued. "But – just like I know you will and just like Robbie did – I recovered. I've used my way of coping and turned it into something fun and profitable. Rain, snow or shine – I'm outside everyday, in the fresh air, walking those dogs," he went on. "Did you walk here or get a car?"
"Both – I walked for a few blocks and then rode the rest of the way," Chuck informed him.
"And how did the fresh air feel after what had just happened?" David pressed him further.
"It... felt great actually. Cool and refreshing," Chuck recalled.
"Exactly! The fresh air hits you and it wakes you up," David added for him. "You don't need alcohol or even drugs, Chuck – you just need a healthy way to cope," he finished as he reached for his mug and took a sip.
Sitting there, having taken it all in... Chuck realized he was right.
"I recall you have a kid?" David spoke again, drawing Chuck out of his thoughts.
"Yeah, a little boy – Henry," Chuck clarified.
"I'm not saying what works for me would automatically work for you, but why not take your kid through a walk in the park regularly, bring that mutt of yours with... try making it part of your daily routine – you might find it calming like I do," David suggested. Chuck had to admit, it wasn't a terrible idea.
"Yeah... maybe I will try that," Chuck agreed as he thought it over.
"Good," David happily smiled, glad they had come to some sort of solution for now. "And maybe check out AA?" he added hopefully, knowing it was probably a longshot.
"I'm not saying yes, but I'm not saying no either, how's that?" Chuck tried to to give him some satisfaction that the possibility of him going hadn't been entirely ruled out.
"I guess I'll take it," David chuckled. It was progress, to say the least.
"Speaking of Henry... I should probably get home – for some reason sleeping in is not in the kid's vocabulary," Chuck joked as he looked at the time.
"Alright," David laughed along at the thought. "Look, man, I'm sorry about before, okay? I'm just not used to being around the rich and famous despite knowing that when you get down to it, you're just a guy, like me, going through what I went through a decade ago."
"It's fine, I get it," Chuck assured him as he went to stand.
"I really do want you to make it, Chuck," David sincerely told him. "Be a Robbie, not a Max... and please – please do call me again if the urge becomes overwhelming and you need someone to be there, okay?"
"Will do," Chuck agreed as he shook his sponsor's hand before turning to leave.
He decided to walk a few more blocks before once more hailing a cab for the rest of the ride home. As he rode in the back of the vehicle, he watched out the window and saw all the lights of various bars and clubs still open at this hour whirl by. It made him think of his old lifestyle, how he lived BW – Before Waldorf. Everything he learned in rehab had been right – it had been a lonely lifestyle... one he tried to endlessly fill with even more drugs and alcohol and sex... which only made him feel more lonely. It was a never ending cycle of loneliness. That was until Blair shimmied her perfect little uptight ass into his heart.
He knew his life wasn't worth living without her and now Henry in it. It was the main reason he knew he had to get his shit together, especially after she had him served the separation papers. It had made him realize he would be losing them both if he didn't. He had gone along and signed them before leaving, knowing that giving her what she wanted, uncontested, would make her happy at the time and to him, her happiness meant everything to him, however they both knew that ultimately she would never be happy without him just as he could never be happy without her.
Yet now there was Dan's little girl in the picture.
And now knowing for sure... he wasn't entirely sure he if he was capable of loving her the way he knew Blair needed him to.
Walking up the front stairs of their townhouse and slowly turning the knob he decided he'd take some of Blair's past advice and not think about it anymore for the night.
As he stepped inside and slid his shoes and coat off, he was surprised to see Blair curled up on the sitting room couch.
Quietly, he attempted to walk down the hall, past the room and to the staircase without waking her. He had almost made it when he heard her voice quietly speak up from somewhere behind him.
"Chuck? Is that you?" she questioned, tired but with concern in her voice.
"Yeah," he answered quietly, afraid now of waking Henry.
"Where did you go?" she nervously asked as he could hear her approaching from behind him.
"I went and had a little chat with someone," he causally told her as he paused on the bottom step.
"Chuck, we really should talk about what happened," she started once more with a slight yawn as she reached him. She fully awoke when she noted with surprise that he didn't smell like cigarettes or alcohol.
"Blair, please..." Chuck began as he furrowed his brow in frustration. "I really don't want to talk about it right now, okay? I just want to go to bed," he informed her. "Please? Can we just go to bed and deal with this later?" he practically pleaded.
"Fine," Blair sighed, feeling defeated as she walked past him and up the stairs, leading the way. She had to admit though, she was proud of the fact that wherever he went tonight he stayed sober.
Chuck got ready for sleep in silence as Blair watched from their bed. When he climbed in to join her though, Blair was a little hurt when he rolled over on his other side, his back to her as he faced away from her.
"Chuck... I don't want to lie to you."
"Then don't."
"There's... there's something else I should probably tell you," she nervously began to speak, her voice starting to tremble. Chuck remained silent on his side though. "Dan knows," she soon uttered, finally get it out.
"Knows what?" Chuck snapped in annoyance only to pause and roll over to face her when a thought suddenly occurred to him. "Don't you dare tell me he knows about those test results you destroyed..." he warned, beginning to go on the defensive.
"No, no... not that," Blair was quick to clarify, hearing the anger start to well up in his voice. "But he knows... that I'm pregnant."
"Well considering you told Serena and it's pretty obvious to most people who see you, I'm not surprised..." Chuck pointed out the obvious.
"I... I may have told him before Serena knew... before anyone knew actually... well, that is, aside from you..." she sheepishly admitted, knowing he was going to be livid once he realized what she was saying.
"What? When?!" he snapped a moment later, proving her right.
"At the Hamptons... soon after I had told you. It wasn't intentional... I know we had agreed not to say anything to anyone and especially him at the time... but... well you remember the blast that got sent out at the White Party? With the photo of Dan and I at the house?" she quickly began to explain before he could get a word in edgewise. "Well it was at the time that photo was taken – I told you he had cornered me that night, berating me for taking you back again, and I got so upset and emotional and nauseated when he reminded me of that one night... I had a bout of morning sickness. He immediately thought I had relapsed and in order to stop him from calling for help and getting everyone else involved I... I told him I was pregnant."
"So he's known this whole time?" Chuck quipped, insisting she confirm it.
"Since that night at CeCe's Hamptons house."
"Since the night I came back," he growled. "Damnit Blair! I thought we agreed it would be best not to tell him?! Can't we have one thing that's just ours? That's just between us?" he demanded to know.
"Chuck... I'm sorry..."
"Is there anything else tonight that should be brought to my attention? Since we're getting it all out in the air... sure you don't want to just tell me she's his as well? Make this night even more memorable?" he sneered.
"Chuck..."
"You know what? No, just forget it. I'm not doing this tonight," he immediately announced a moment later before rolling back over to his side, away from her, in a huff.
"I love you, Chuck," she quietly spoke into his ear soon after as she rolled up behind him... only to get no response other than the silent treatment.
Annoyed, Blair decided she would do the same then, dramatically rolling onto her other side away from him with her back turned, tugging the duvet with her as if to make a point.
Chuck merely rolled his eyes at her antics. Too tired to play her little games, he decided he'd just make his final move and get it all over with.
Sitting up and climbing out of bed, he stood and pulled the duvet entirely off the bed, leaving Blair with just the sheets as he made his way out of the room.
"Love you too, Blair," he grumbled just loud enough for her to hear as he made his way out the door and down the hall towards Henry's room where the boy was sleeping peacefully. Chuck discarded their duvet on the sitting chair by the window at the end of the hallway before climbing into bed with his son.
"Daddy?" Henry groggily asked in his sleep as he rolled over to confirm just who was in his bed.
"Mommy's hogging all the covers, Hen – mind if I share yours?" Chuck asked him, knowing better than to tell him the truth.
"Okay, Daddy," Henry giggled at Chuck's excuse as he shifted in bed to make more room for his father amongst his barrage of stuffed animals also in the bed, eager to share the blanket with him.
"Thanks, Hen, now go back to sleep," Chuck ordered as he wrapped an arm around his son, snuggling up to the boy. He soon fell fast asleep, at ease with knowing that at least one of their children was all his.
AN: Yay! Glad to see some of you are still reading this, despite the unexpected hiatus it went on. I'd like to think of this chapter as Part 2 to the previous chapter, as it's all within the same night. The next 2 chapters are pretty much back to back as well and the next one will be posted soon!
Until next time!