Chapter Four

Damon and I had managed to stay friends for two months and things were only beginning to get interesting.

I was always what most people would consider a good girl and I always listened to the advice my mother gave me. The thought of challenging anything my parents taught me was sort of taboo but then again we were from the south. I was raised to respect everyone around me. Something was different with me, though, and it had been growing since I'd met Damon. This...thing, inside me wasn't bad or good, it was just the feeling that I was doing what I should be. It was satisfaction. Unfortunately, my mother was so confused and hurt by my refusal to be complacent that we hadn't been seeing eye to eye.

Damon pushed me to be more and do more. He made me want to live just by being himself and if that wasn't the biggest miracle I'd see in my lifetime, well, then I was a lucky woman. Before his friendship, I was okay with coasting through every day without trying. But now? That was outright unacceptable. I was getting my fight back.

"Just take a look in the mirror Elena, please? You look sick and I'm just worried about you."

"Mom, I'm fine. I feel fine and if I look sick it's because I'm sick." I shook my head in disbelief.

"I don't mind if you'd rather spend time with your friend, Damon. That's not the issue here." My mother bustled around the kitchen while she scolded me. "You are an adult and can spend your time however you want."

I began to gather my things from around the living room. "You're double talking, mom," I called.

She appeared in the doorway with tears in her eyes. "Can you just stand in my shoes for once Elena? Just take it all in and imagine how I must feel?"

I spun around, pissed at my mother for the first time. "Take a walk in your shoes? How about you take a walk in mine, mom. I'll never have children; I'll never get married or move out of this place if we're gonna go there!"

She recoiled as if I'd slapped her across the face but unfortunately for us both I wasn't done.

"I have to leave everything behind and I have no choice so excuse me if I spend my time just being happy." I took a deep breath and made my way to the front door. "I'm going to Damon's."

I walked to the bus stop with my bag slung over my shoulder and fell down on the thick plastic seat - hard. I had never spoken to my mother in that way. I hadn't ever behaved that way in my life. She placed blame often but then again, so did I. I fanned my face and tried to calm down before the bus came. Upset was the last thing I wanted to be when I got to his place.

The more time moved past me, the more I began to notice things I had previously overlooked. I had a happy childhood with great parents and a nice home. Sure, my mom was eccentric and something of a modern day hippy but I loved her. The same went for my dad. That being said, there were things I missed out on because I coulda, shoulda, woulda taken the chance. I surveyed the interior of the bus when it stopped and I climbed on. The seats were filled in random spots and everyone was looking forward. I vowed silently that I would not let the slow loss of my health bring me down. That night, everything would begin to change.

Damon met me at his front gate with an excited smile. I could only half grimace in return.

"Whoa, what's going on with you?" He asked, concerned. "I don't think I've ever seen this expression on your face before. Why the Debbie Downer get up?"

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "My mom and I had an argument; I'll be fine."

"You and your mother never argue. Is everything alright?" He wrapped an arm around me and led me to his car. "C'mon, tell your bestie everything," Damon said with a wiggle of his brows.

I spun to face him with a grin on my face. "Let's go to that party you were telling me about."

Damon laughed and took my bag from my shoulder. He placed it in the trunk, thinking about what I'd just asked. "You want to go to a party? Elena, you do realize this party is notorious, right? Lots of no names looking to sleep with big names and move up in La La Land."

"Maybe I want to be notorious. I'd like to have a drink, it's on my list." It wasn't really on my list but I'd just added it right then.

We'd talked about the party in the Hills a few days before and neither Damon nor I was into that scene but since my life changing epiphany on the bus, I didn't want to miss out. There would be alcohol, music and probably cameras.

"So I'm assuming you are dodging the facts surrounding the fight with your mother then? Okay...in that case, promise me you won't have sex with more than five people. At once."

I nodded, pretending to consider his statement. "She's just being overprotective and I can't promise anything. I'm turning over a new leaf. The 'new' Elena does what she feels."

"I don't normally go to parties like this," he admitted, ignoring what I'd said and getting into the driver's seat. "This should be an adventure."

"That's precisely what I'm hoping for." I clasped my hand over his when he moved to shift the engine into gear. "I appreciate this Damon."

He smirked, exposing his right dimple and chuckled. "I can't deny a dying woman's last wish."

"How pathetic," I teased. "You tell me I can go to a party but I can't have an orgy? What if that was on my bucket list?"

"I'm telling you right now," He started, laughing. "If for one second I thought you were actually being serious I would turn this car around right now, take you back to my place, and show you why you really only need one man. Me." Damon winked at me and I could only roll my eyes.

The car wound through the steep hills and turns expertly. My long hair caught the wind and blew lightly through the open window. I admired the lights covering every inch of earth below us. I felt alive; being with Damon and his easy nature made me feel alive. Just the feeling of my heart beating with rhythm in my chest was comforting. It reminded me that I was still real.

We turned a corner halfway up the hill and pulled up to a driveway blocked by an electric gate. Photographers snapped photos as I ducked and Damon waved politely and called up to the house. It felt like an eternity but the gate swung open with ease and we drove through.

"Still sure about this?" He asked, opening my door for me and helping me out.

I surveyed my clothes, happy with my choice. "Oh I'm sure; let's go." I grabbed his hand and led him inside.

The house was filled with bodies and music, thumping through the walls and people. Damon left me next to the drinks and went off to find his friend, the owner of the house. I studied the different liquors and decided I was going to have my first drink. I'd never tried alcohol but there was a first time for everything or so I'd been learning. Spending most of your life being sick had held me back from a lot of things - not that drinking was important. It was more a right of passage.

The bartender winked at me and slid a napkin my way. He asked me what I wanted and I froze with indecision. My brain scrambled to think of a cocktail I knew the name of but when I couldn't, I just pointed to the tequila. Then I ordered two, just in case.

"Patron? Really, 'Lena?" Damon laughed behind me. "You have never had a drink and you choose tequila?"

"I ordered one for you," I said sheepishly.

"Oh no," he took a shot glass and handed it to me. "I have a good feeling I'll need to be the designated driver."

Tequila tasted awful. It burned against my throat and all the way down. The second shot wasn't any easier to handle than the first. Damon laughed the entire time. "You're supposed to be moral support, you ass!"

"That's why I'm going to get you a martini or something girly." He took the empty shot glasses and turned around to set them on the bar and order the new drink.

When offered I took it from him gingerly, sipping easily at the side of the glass. "Wow, that's really good."

He grinned and led me away from the bar by the elbow.

Damon let me mingle and have fun. He never once tried to tell me how to act or to think about my health. I was so sick of being told to take care of myself that I wanted to scream. I'd been afraid to do things because I didn't want to send myself into some downward spiral of death when in reality I should have been enjoying the freedom my body was still allowing me.

I lost track of what I was drinking and in reality I hadn't drank that much but my head was fuzzy and I felt lighter. My hips were developing a mind of their own and started to sway to the music pulsing through the house. I hunted Damon with my eyes as he bounced back and forth between two people who seemed to be entertained by whatever he was saying. When he finally noticed my stare I smiled and he politely excused himself. I sat my empty glass on the black marble behind me and met him halfway.

My hips continued their swaying to the newest beat. I didn't have any expectations; I just wanted to dance. Of course, everything changed when I felt Damon's hands softly grasping either hip, keeping up with the momentum I'd begun. My heart sped up. I didn't know I could dance like that and by the look on his face, it hadn't ever crossed Damon's mind either.

I tossed my head back and laughed.

He leaned forward and swept his nose against my exposed neck. I shivered in response to the sudden presence of feelings I'd never felt. We continued to dance and slowly I built the nerve to wrap my arms around his neck and press myself against him. I could feel the alcohol warming me from the inside out and fueling the bold behavior. I backed away from the middle of the room toward the wall. Damon followed willingly, his hands still holding firm at my hips. The pressure of his thumbs on my hip bones was heavenly.

"What are we doing?" He whispered just above the music, in my ear.

I felt the wall supporting me and released my hold on his neck. "We're dancing," I replied in a breathy tone. "Don't you like to dance?"

"Oh, I like dancing," he said with a quiet laugh. "I really like dancing."

His breath danced, much like us, along my neck where beads of sweat had begun to form. I sighed and pulled him tighter against me. "Well then stop talking and dance with me," I insisted.

He pressed his forehead against mine with an intense look in his eyes. "You're officially drunk."

I giggled and grabbed his face with both my hands. "I'm superwoman right now. Nothing can bring me down."

Damon grabbed my right wrist with his left hand and moved my hand until his lips met my palm. He never once broke our intense eye contact, the blue of his irises darkening. My body responded naturally to his intimate touch and I found myself wondering what was going on.

"Drunk and happy looks good on you," he said calmly.

"Are you going to take advantage of me?" I laughed and pressed his chest lightly.

He shook his head from side to side. "I'll never make you do something you don't want to do."

"Except for sky diving," I said totally under Damon's spell.

"Except for sky diving." He grabbed my other hand and kissed my palm.

"I feel like I'm sky diving right now, without a parachute." Words were just tumbling from my mouth before I had the chance to censor them.

"I'll catch you, Elena...never worry about that," He murmured, his face holding emotions I didn't know how to read.

Around us, the party raged on but we were deaf and blind to it all. The heat from his hands kept my focus on our nearness and I fought against the urge to moan. Instead I rolled my neck, head pressed against the wall, hips pressed closer against his. "Damon, I-"

He shook his head lazily to cut me off and I swallowed roughly, wetting my lips that had somehow gone dry. The devious look in his eyes thrilled me to no end so there was no objection when he pulled me into the throng of other people dancing, slung my arms around his neck and began to sway slowly.

Nothing could have ruined that moment. Nothing.

Somewhere there was a coffee maker brewing coffee and I wanted some. My mouth felt like the Mojave on a summer day and my stomach was struggling not to reverse whatever I'd put there the night before. I rolled over with a groan and realized that I was not in my own bed. I cracked an eye, terrified of what I would see.

I was alone - in Damon's bed.

Slowly I slid the covers off and stood myself upright. I let the room stop its spinning before stumbling out of the door and toward the smell of fresh coffee. I was still wearing the same clothes from the night before which was slightly embarrassing but something told me I should be glad I had clothes on at all.

The kitchen was also empty aside from a note scrawled on the back of an Edison electric bill.

Elena,

Went for a run with the dog. There's coffee.

Damon

I released the breath I'd been holding and let the note drop back to the counter. I fixed myself a cup of coffee and sat at the breakfast bar to wait for Damon to come home. My head was pounding but the uncomfortable ache in my stomach was starting to drown that out. I probably shouldn't have been drinking but I hadn't been in treatment for a while and letting go had felt so damn good.

Suddenly, I felt nauseous and hurriedly set the coffee mug down on the counter and ran to the bathroom. The cool floor felt good against my feverish skin so I lay down against the tile. I could hear the dog running through the house sometime later. All concept of time was lost to me. Damon called my name but I didn't answer. It felt like my arms and legs were lead.

"Elena?" He finally found me with concern in those light blue eyes.

I cried lightly when he knelt next to me and pressed his hand to my face. "I'm sorry," I squeaked.

"Here, sit up," he instructed and helped me sit up against the wall. "You're so pale. Has this happened before?"

I shook my head. I was worried that maybe I was dying and would do so in Damon's bathroom floor. In my day old clothes. With Journey the dog breathing dog breath in my face.

"Sit right here, I'm calling an ambulance."

He was pacing in the hall outside of the bathroom on his cell phone before I could protest or tell him to just call my mom. Somewhere in the mild chaos, I must've blacked out because when my eyes opened again, it was in response to a strange man calling my name. He asked question after question that I couldn't answer. Nothing seemed to make sense outside of the warm hand holding mine so tight that I knew immediately it was Damon. My head rolled heavily to look in his direction, eyes blinking slowly.

"I'm right here," he said in a panicked tone. "I called your mom, okay? Stay with me, 'Lena."

I'll stay. Of course I will. For you.

And then everything went black...again.

I've had amazing feedback on this story. I absolutely love it when you tell me your thoughts on this and I do try to take them into consideration. Someone mentioned that they couldn't really see Elena in my version which is exactly how it should be in these early chapters. Damon will help bring her character to the surface after years of denying herself. And to be fair, I have taken a lot of liberties. This story is pretty AU.

Either way, thank you so much for reading and sharing your reactions with me!