Chapter Twelve
Gakushuu's basement hadn't changed nearly as much as Nagisa would have liked. It was still crowded by a maze of stacked up storage boxes, creating a wall that covered the door so if anyone entered they wouldn't immediately be seen, and would have many, many hiding places. It stretched over the entirety of their house, so for one room it was quite huge.
Nagisa had only ever been on one side of it, but she didn't want to know what was on the other side.
She was lying with Karma on the same bed where she had lay with Gakushuu before. There faces were together, he was all that she could see, smell, hear and feel right now, yet she was pale and still like a corpse in his arms.
"Are you still nervous Nagisa?" His hands closed around her warm cheeks and the back of her soft her. She leaned into him, but her bright blue eyes showed no reaction to his words. Usually she would melt in realisation that she was acting that way, but once more, she remained still, giving him the impression that she was hiding something. He was pained. Why was she still hiding things?
"I shouldn't be but... it's a lot to take in."
Now she was hiding her face from him. Her breathing was soft on his neck, looking like the actions of someone relaxed, trusting and comforting. He knew that was just an escape route.
"You don't want to move to your mothers, do you?"
"I do!" Her whisper seemed to be trying to convince herself,"I love my mother, that's not the problem."
"Then what is?"
No response for a long time. Eventually, she just hugged him closer. In her head, she hoped staying quiet and weak would somehow solve her problems. She let him reach his own conclusions, because she wasn't sure of what to say.
"I want to stay with you too." He kissed the top of her head, pulling the thick duvet further up over her shoulders. "Try and get some sleep."
There was no heating down here. The boxes were coated with dust that slipped into their lungs in tiny fragments. Neither of them wore comfortable clothing, yet neither of them felt comfortable enough to remove more of it than their outdoor jackets.
The truth was, that wasn't the problem.
She knew her boyfriend had done this to comfort her, but the sheets, despite being obviously different to the ones from before as well being obviously cleaned recently, smelt of the washing detergent used by Gakushuu that lingered on some of his clothing.
It reminded her of him. It made her feel dirtier, guiltier, weaker, more worthless, powerless, sinful, wicked, repulsive, uncomfortable, depressed, miserable and anxious.
She clung to Karma like her own teddy bear, blocking the silence with his heartbeat until she finally managed to will her heavy eyelids shut, hoping she didn't carry these negative thoughts with her into dreamland.
The bed she was in became cold and foreign really fast. Half asleep, half awake, her hands reached out desperately to the comfort she had a distant memory of being beside her. Her hands found nothing, her heart throbbing. Something... someone was missing.
But was that so bad? Why was her heart beating so hard? Why did she have the feeling that something awful would happen if this continued? Was she in danger?
Everything was dark behind her eyelids, any violent perturbing monster could be hiding in this and creeping towards her, but she wouldn't know or be able to defend until the last moment, until it was already too late. Until it had gotten her.
"Nagisa~"
Her breath hitched sharply, but that wasn't enough to wake her, only to toss and turn like a maniac. Whatever it was was touching her, it's voice was so close it vibrated against her skin, it violated her. She knew that voice, it was hazy and intoxicated, and it lured her in, calling her name like that after it had hurt her.
Now she remembered.
That was the way her name had been called after something bad had happened... something that had weakened her and changed her... what had it done to her-No! On second thought she didn't want to remember. She just had to get away.
It couldn't happen again... if it did...
"Nagisa~!"
It was louder that time. How could it have possibly gotten closer when it was practically inside of her the first time? She had to get away from it - she had to wake up!
If she didn't, those hands would remain to reach over her and dig into her skin, through and under her clothing while she lay powerless. If it was a dream, she just had to wake up to get away from it. Then again if it was real, what if she couldn't fight it?
Her memories of it were only so bad because she could remember all of it's sickening details so clearly. They always said it had happened so fast, so why had her experience seemed to have dragged on endlessly until she had passed out?
To get further away from it, she would have to get further from consciousness, further into a sleep.
Cold tears slid from her sleeping face down onto the bed where she had passed out on before. She hoped this time, like a dream that vanished in the night, she wouldn't remember it.
"He really said that about her?" Gakushuu grit his teeth, his eyes sinking into the ground as Karma told his friend in detail what had happened.
Little did the red head know, the majority of the boy's frustration originated from guilt.
"He doesn't deserve to be near her."
Their eyes met knowingly.
"I would have done the same for Nagisa." He eventually nodded, eyes still darkened.
It was approaching three in the morning now. After his parent's return and settle, their host had slipped down to talk to his visitors, finding Nagisa's face hidden below a blanket cover and Karma awake restlessly thinking about what to do about his girlfriends situation.
They had slipped onto the other side of the vast basement, not far enough so they wouldn't hear Nagisa if she woke, but just enough so they could talk quietly. Though making his visit, Gakushuu had been hoping the other of the pair would have been the one awake.
There was a large old table covered with boxes they had sat on, with three chairs conveniently spared of boxes so they could sit and talk.
Gakushuu had been hoping to ask Nagisa if she really had told her father, not to mention to arrange some possible way for her not to walk out of his life entirely after she left.
"I need to get some sleep. Unlike you I won't get a lie in until late."
He shook his head insistently,"What time do you want to go, I'll make sure you get out of here safely."
Karma was half trying to nudge him off when he answered,"5:30 the latest, I want to get out of here early, before the police start running around."
"That's not a problem. I'll come and wake you both up."
The redhead nodded, still partially distracted by the growing enigma in his girlfriend's behaviour as of late.
"When we're gone, make sure you don't start getting angry and reckless." His eyes hinted to the unknown, wearing a threat.
"I'll be fine. It's you I'm worried about." There was silence, Karma stood to make his way back to his makeshift bed.
"When you-" Gakushuu stopped, his words unable to leave his mouth, breathing in as he re-evaluated,"Look after Nagisa tomorrow."
"You know I will. You don't have to ask."
His purple eyes met the ground conflicted, "Good night." He slipped out of the door, heading back to his room two flights of stairs up.
Karma stared at Nagisa's sleeping face for a while in the dark before going to sleep, he didn't attempt to rejoin their bodies in fear of waking her, but intertwined their fingers and brought her hand to his chest before he could sleep.
Waking up with dry tears in a foreign place was alarming. Waking up with both Gakushuu and Karma present and looking down was even more so.
She was wide awake soon enough, but her eyes felt rough, she knew her body was craving more rest but had to ignore that for now.
Somehow she had ended up moderately washed, dressed and wrapped in her thick jacket with the same lilac scarf Gakushuu had lent her before caringly wrapped over her to keep her warm. He didn't hide the adoration in his eyes as he lead them off.
"Take care Nagisa."
His voice was soft, not nearly as devastated or reckless as she would have imagined. She guessed she just didn't know the boy that well, who knows, he may have secretly been quite fickle. This may have been the first in line of many obsessions for the boy, she could only pity his future victims, hoping that eventually one would return his feelings, not just so they could be happy together, but so this next woman wouldn't suffer as much.
Before she knew it, after being head lead by Karma in the foggy darkness that gradually faded, she was in the train station, then after that she was seated with her back comfortably leaned into the chair on the long distance train. Her boyfriends hand was still in hers.
No police had discovered them, no nasty surprises in price or transport, no sudden wind storms in the winter or distraction to delay them. They were seated successfully on the way to a better life for her, yet she was missing something.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. Why was time racing forward so fast? At this rate, their last moments together would be over in seconds.
Then, she may never see him again.
Why was it so painfully easy for her to fall asleep and waste away even more moments when her head pressed against his shoulder and his hands stroked along her arm?
The answer could always be traced back to her own weakness.
"M-mother?"
She wasn't sure what to call her parent after having not seen her in so long.
"Nagisa, is that you?" The voice on the line instantly lit up, it was refreshing and even made the corners of her mouth raise in sync to her heartbeat.
"Your father told me he would allow contact, has he told you you'll be moving back in with me yet? it's kind of early but I'm looking forward to talking to you again." She practically beamed.
"He's told me, but.." She laughed nervously,"I guess I've arrived a bit earlier than I had planned, and I-I've brought a friend with me to visit, I hope that's okay."
"Arrived?" Her voice dropped, "Are you at the door?!"
"No, no," She laughed quietly at the surprise in the woman's voice, her panic distracting the girl from her own stress,"We're on the train but we'll be reaching the train station soon. I didn't get the address off dad actually, would you mind coming to collect us?"
She heard the sound of something dropping, then of footsteps knocking into the ground in a rush "Of course I can for you Nagisa, I'll be there in half an hour."
"I see, he really said that to you" the older woman tried to appear strong, but traces of her pain for her child still appeared on her expression.
"It probably seems bad but I'm used to it by now. It feels good knowing I don't have to return to him any time soon."
Karma eyed the way her smile reached her eyes. Nagisa was honestly happy, her issue had been dealt with and left behind.
He returned his gaze to the small middle-aged woman opposite him. She clearly resembled Nagisa in her facial features, especially the colour of her eyes, but her hair was short and pale blonde. He wondered if in time Nagisa would come to resemble her more.
"He always was like that. It was a shame since he could sometimes show such a caring side." She sighed, "I can empathise with you perfectly."
Nagisa took another sip from the milkshake that had been brought for her, her movements swift, relaxed and natural, her head tilted downwards but her eyes looking up out of the window.
Karma softly smiled.
"You don't regret being with him do you?" He inquired, snapping the woman out of her daze.
"Of course not, then I would have never had Nagisa."
That was one test passed.
"That reminds me, I've been clearing out a spare room in my apartment for you, but it's not entirely done yet..." Her voice droned on in the background, the melody of Nagisa's occasionally chirping in.
The redhead was so caught up in his thoughts, he only seemed to remember where he was after hearing his name.
"Is he always like this?"
"No actually, usually I'm the one who gets carried away. Are you alright Karma?"
"I'm sorry, we're leaving you out of the conversation aren't we? You must be getting booored"
"No, you guys go on ahead and catch up, you haven't been together in years."
The older woman just smiled at him, "Boyfriend huh?" She thought to herself, eyeing him up and down, "I'm not sure I'll let you go on dates with him this young."
"What?!"
"We're not that young." Nagisa tried.
Silence followed, and then the woman fell into the table laughing.
"Relax, I wouldn't force you guys to break up. You came with her all the way here, you must be worth it boy. I just can't help but wonder if things would have gone differently had I been in custody."
"I-I would have never met Karma."
"I guess all things happen for a reason."
She watched as her words took affect, the pair meeting eyes and Nagisa blushing lightly at his blatant care for her. They both smiled, bumping their fists together so their rings collided.
"Aww that is just so cute!" If his eyes weren't deceiving him, the woman had just wiped a small tear from her eye, "I'm glad you were there for Nagisa when I couldn't be."
Her eerily familiar eyes met his, showing the honesty of her trust. Karma smiled back. But within seconds, he had looked away