Chapter Fifteen

"I'm gonna kill him... I'm gonna fucking kill him.."

When Nagisa awoke up in a strange, unfamiliar setting with vague familiarity and memories she couldn't quite place to see Gakushuu Asano standing in front of her foaming at the mouth while pacing angrily back and forth, eyes down and grumbling violently, her instinctual reaction was fear.

It was the kind of fear that kept her quiet as she crawled deeply into the covers of the bed, letting her fear contort her expression, only to be tamed into blankness after thirty seconds of controlled breathing.

She was fully clothed. That was a good sign. But at the same time, her skin felt soft and moist like she had just bathed. That wasn't so much of a good sign. In fact, she didn't even recognise the clothes on her. Her confidence wavered, and then snapped frangibly into tiny pieces that stung her skin sharply, making her want to sob.

Where the hell was she and why couldn't she remember a thing? Why was she here? Why the hell was she alone with him again of all people?

Everything was so foreign and so out of her control. She barely had the confidence to speak. She felt like she was a child again who was too afraid to speak out about her parents divorce and being forced to abide by the rules of her father's overbearing personality.

"Nagisa?" He must have seen her scrambling, because suddenly his attention was on her, like a laser, it penetrated her cover, turning thick fabric into a flimsy excuse of a shelter. In her darkness of a cover, she heard his footsteps going to stand beside her closely. Very closely.

"Are you awake?" His voice softened. It only enforced her feeling of weakness and helplessness. How could he sound so despicably caring and gentle whilst doing the most evil things? It took her back to that time.

She was afraid he would try and get into the bed.

"W-where are we?" The blunette snapped, throwing the covers off of her to see the rest of the room. It was depressingly empty. He was stood right beside her as invasively as she had imagined. His back was straight as usual, his hair combed, his shirt ironed and his perfect prince smile as deceptively charming as it always had been.

Rolling onto the other end of the bed, she sat up, glancing at the pair of adjacent doors in the corner, planning her potential escape route.

She glanced back at him to see him still smiling at her. Her gaze wavered. She realised her snapping voice hadn't been nearly as threatening as she had thought. Now that she opened her mouth to speak, her voice was tiny and frail, powerless and sore. She held her throat, her eyes downcast at the now messy bed.

"So the drugs finally wore off huh."

"Drugs?!" She croaked, her eyes glossing over in terror.

"Ah... Karma gave you something to ease you in so you wouldn't be so afraid when you woke up here. Don't you remember anything."

Sowly, Nagisa shook her pretty little bed head. Karma's name had comforted her. She opened her mouth to speak, only to take a defensive reflexive stance as her peripheral vision noticed Gakushuu's hand approaching.

If she were a cat, she would have hissed.

She eyed the glass water he held in distaste. "It's just water. I don't have a need to drug you."

He defended, as though he had the most innocent conscious ever. As though he had never wronged her. Never thought about ways to manipulate her.

Her gaze conveyed this thoughts in their silence.

"It's here if you want it." He sighed, dropping it so she had no choice but to catch it. Even still, some of it spilt on her thighs. Nagisa gasped at the cold, rubbing her clothes anxiously.

"Why is your first instinct always against me? You should be looking at Karma with those eyes. He's the one he brought you here."

His voice was a mumble, low and far too feral to be directed at her. But she heard it anyway, sipping experimentally only to discover her need for water was compelling enough for her to knock back the whole thing.

"Once you betray my trust once, it's gone forever. Especially with what you did."

He glanced back at her. She had placed the glass on the bed side table, her fists digging into the matress in the position of an animal about to pounce.

"Ahh, you mean the one thing your know it all boyfriend isn't aware of."

She flinched at his words, "Where's Karma?"

"If only he knew you cheated on him in such a way, begging the way you did. Looking up at me the way you did, heh, you were so scared."

Once again, his words hadn't been directed at her. He only ever spoke to her caringly. Unfortunately for him, his words reached her ears regardless and her breathing became heavier. Every word spoken from his mouth made her mind ring with unwanted recollections and her heart uncertainly struggling to react to each situation envisioned in her mind.

She ended up feeling as if her heart were in his hands and being clenched, exposed and nakedly vulnerable under his gaze, just like she had been that night...

The walls were smaller suddenly - a reminde that it was only them. A strangled sob escaped her. She was breathing heavily. Her stance fumbled, she was tiny, breakable, infinitesimal and unimportant.

"That was bad..." She plead, hoping he would shut up.

"No. You loved it."

"W-.." The rest of her questioned failed. Gakushuu turned from where he had been looking downwards dirtily, brushing his hair out of his face to look at her with his warm eyes.

"What's wrong Nagisa? You're safe here."

"W-where's K-karma..?"

The male eyed her empty glass, wondering why she still sounded so weak, why she was so tense and breathing in serrated trembles.

"Your boyfriend went home. He... the bastard just left me here with you. Apparently he has to return every now and again to avoid suspiscion."

"Wha...suspiscion, what did he do?"

Gakushuu blundered. He'd messed up hugely. "Ah, you're gonna have to talk to him about that one."

"W-when will he be back..."

"Not until tomorrow. It's three now. In the afternoon. He just left about twenty minutes ago."

"Call him... No, I'll go and meet him." She made to leave, but was stopped by his gentle hand resting on her knee.

"Nagisa you can't leave this place." She had thought as much. This wasn't the sort of establishement you came to for a holiday residency.

"I-I...I don't want to be here..with you.." It was getting harder to speak, her throat growing a lump that made even breathing hurt.

"Nagisa, calm down, I won't hurt you. I won't even touch you. I promise."

He pulled his hands up and held them up beside his head innocently, she couldn't help but watch them from the corner of her eye, painfully aware of where they might go if she were to let her guard down.

"Just g-go.."

"I can't...I don't want to leave you here the whole night."

"You won't, you mean."

He looked down sadly, "You're right. It's stubborn of me, but I won't leave you."

She didn't respond. Nagisa turned around and slipped off the bed, Gakushuu instantly fixing the mess of sheets into a neater order whilst keeping concerned eye contact with her.

"C-can I have my phone?"

"There are no phones here in case they're traced. Even mine's back home." He jerked his head in a direction that made Nagisa stare hard that way as if she could see through the wall and plan her way back to familiar territory. She looked taken aback. In her mind, she was wondering how badly they had messed up this time if it meant people who could trace phones were looking for them.

He sighed, unable to read her, settling on the end of the bed.

"You must be hungry. All you had earlier was an apple."

She eyed him in beffuddlement. He lost himself in such an intoxicating blue.

"Oh, that's right." He laughed, "You forgot. Maybe it's a good thing you did."

Nagisa drew back, "D-Did y-you r-ra-"

The teen couldn't even finish her sentence.

"No! Of course not Nagisa, Karma was here too. You woke up and were acting like a kid. Karma gave you a bath and then when you came out we were talking about," He breathed in a sigh of preperation, "About how you can't leave here for now, how the world thinks you're missing and how Karma plans on taking you out of the city to somewhere you can't be found. You accepted it for some reason, I think this whole thing is insane but-"

"If Karma planned this he must have thought it through."

Gakushuu had strained to her the gentle whisper, but then cringed at her words. She noticed this and averted her eyes, stepping backwards.

He clicked his tongue. "So when he kidnaps you it's fine but when I do it I'm awful.."

Nagisa didn't respond. She had a lot to say but not a lot of courage to say it. Besides, he was speaking to himself again.

"I wonder how many times he's raped you and gotten away with it-"

"Shut up!" Nagisa suddenly screamed her back hitting the wall and making her jump. Gakushuu paled, she was very jumpy, her shoulders were tense and her eyebrows furrowed, her hands trembling around the pillow she had brought with her for cover.

"Nagisa, take a deep breath will you. Close your eyes, I'm staying right over here."

She nodded profusely, too nervous and vulnerable to do anything other than obey. "I'm gonna make you some food."

"N-No! Stay there."

He stopped, her eyes had opened and were looking at him like he was a life line made of ropes that had burnt her hands in gym class.

"I won't move. There's food right beside you in the bed side table." He spoke softly, watching as she crouched down and clicked the door open, pulling out a packed sandwich.

"You must be starving." He whispered softly, enamoured by her graceful beauty as she crouched down and opened the plastic, nibbling so slowly with her head down quietly.

"S-Stop staring."

"You're too beautiful." His reply was instant. She looked up at him and frowned.

"Creepy. I don't appreciate it."

"Cute. I appreciate it a lot."

Nagisa wished she had never spoken up. Her voice was just lulling to him as her appearance was. He had even stepped closer and now sat on the edge of the bed.

He was still pretty far though. Besides, she couldn't let him remain standing.

"W-won't you eat?"

"All of that food is for you. There's not much, but it's only a refridgerator box in there anyway."

When Nagisa was finished, she drank from an orange juice carton in one go. She was still hungry, but didn't want to say.

She stood up, not once turning her back to the boy on the other side of the room.

"The white door is to the bathroom, there's a bath, sink and toilet if you need to use it. All the soaps and shampoos you could need are in there, hair ties, sponges, I even brought you a baby blue toothbrush because...I thought it suited you."

Nagisa looked down as though something had just caught her attention.

"Wasn't I just at my mama's..."

Gakushuu felt his heart jump at him. Fear. She was remembering things. He had to distract her. How had Karma done it...?

"Save it for Karma. Are you uncomfortable at all?"

She looked at him dismissively, his words slowly making her consider her state and look down at her unfamiliar outifts. "I..."

"I brought you lots of new clothes." He practically snapped, so quickly he ran out of things to say. "N-Nice clothes, in the bathroom, you can try them on if you want to-"

"N-new clothes... but the old ones are at my d-" Her voice choked, pale fireworks in her ice blue eyes making her stop moving and stare straight ahead.

Gakushuu didn't dare breathe.

"D-dad..." Her breath hitched, her eyes trembling. Murderous guilt consumed him, the memory of agonized screams becoming lifeless, depressing acceptance, the quivering of his hands as he poured the gas into every opened window and onto every flammable item of furniture rushed back into his body, and the slow agony of his blackening soul resembling the thick smoke he'd seen from the walk home reminded him that he had killed the father of the girl he had loved, and now he was facing the consequences of her actions.

"H-He d-died...!" The first tears came ploughing down like heavy rain, her pain torturously easy to be seen in her wide azure eyes that turned pink with fatigue.

Gakushuu ran up to Nagisa and engorged her in his arms before she could protest. He was afraid that she would run, or scream or hit him and put up a fight, but when he felt soft wetness against his chest, he knew she wouldn't do anything other then rest her head on him and cry.

"It's okay," He didn't touch her at all, other than the arms around her shoulders, and she seemed to appreciate this almost as much as he appreciated just being able to hold and comfort her like this.

"Everything is going to be okay, we're here for you now."

Nagisa had no idea how long she was crying for, but her mouth was dry and her eyes had sobbed out so much they were stinging as she blinked and closed her eyes mournfully.

"How did this happen?"

"You'll just have to ask Karma." She hated being treated like a child who couldn't handle the situation.

"T-tell me this, is my father's death to do with the reason I'm being held here?" She snapped. She was sharp, so sharp her words peirced him. Gakushuu finally gave in to his urges, curling his arms around the back of her head, resting above her soft hair as he pulled her in lovingly and dismissively.

"That's not important."

"I'll take that as a yes." Nagisa's hands grabbed ahold of his rest on her and twisted him suddenly until his hands were on her lap. Her blue hues gazed up sternly, but there was a broken weakness behind them that pulled him in sorrowfully.

"So which of you did it?" Her voice whispered: vulnerable, afraid, accusatory.

Gakushuu tried not to reel back, a sharp chill passing through his body and a wave of nausea that made him sick. She caught him by the wrists, he thought she would never let go, and he wouldn't have a problem with it if it didn't mean she could look into his eyes so clearly, because the moment she did, she knew.

Her body stilled, the muscles around his hand loosening and setting him free, only so he could reach out to her shoulders and plead her to take him back into her clutches.

Nagisa's eyes looked distant. "So...it was you..." She tried to step back, tears reappearing in her sore, reddish eye whites. Her horror and repulsion made him fearful and desperate for any sign of love and forgiveness for her. He felt like a book open on his worst page. If forgiveness wasn't possible, the least he could do was turn her hatred elsewhere.

"It's Karma! Don't you see Nagisa, he did this on purpose. You think he cares about you but he left you here with me, so I'd be the one you see when you wake up and I'm the one you assume is the kidnapper, so I'm the one around when you start realising things and suffer all this negativeness around me, as if I'm responsible. If it weren't for me being painted as the bad guy, you would see that he's manipulating you, the bastard! Do you think this is a coincidence, that you would be as happy to see his face if you weren't vulnerable and sick of me. If I was the smarter one, Karma would be here so you would associate him with the sadness, and when I come you'll natural be cheered up. But I won't let him trick us Nagisa, I'm not dumb either!"

"What are you doing?!"

He pulled her up by her shoudlers alone, the grip tight and painful as his palms pushed into her, "You're hurting me! Stop!"

She was thrown down on the the bed. Gakushuu crawled with her. Her mind thought the worst, seeing him in front of her, she arched backwards to get away from him, and fell off the bed, landing hard onto her back on the floor.

Gakushuu laughed at her, "Clumsy. Don't worry, I'll look after you."

Before she could sit up, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back up, this time pinning her down and rubbing their noses together.

She was too shocked to speak, all of her calm from eating gone, all of her trust from crying into his arms broken suddenly. She was barely able to breath as the slightest movements sent her racing heart into sharp pains that made her throat whimper as she inhaled in practically nonexistent bursts.

"Karma said something along the lines of you enjoying a bit of rough treatment earlier today, but I know better. You're a sweet girl Nagisa, you deserve gentle kisses and gentle touches."

His hand sneaked around her thigh.

"Sh sh sh!" He silenced her struggling whispered stutters right against her ear. Her body was still and her cheeks were becoming red, and her body sweating coldly.

"Karma thinks he's so clever leaving me to be the bearer of bad news, but I'll prove him wrong. We can have fun without him, you don't think I'm bad do you Nagisa?"

She was unable to respond, her eyes were wide. She may have cried if it weren't for the fact that he eyes were dry.

"I don't get you...you were so sane just now.."

"Of course you don't think I'm bad, you would have told him by now if you really hated this."

He spoke to himself as though trapped in his own mind. As though her voice was inaudible.

Nagisa's body flinched sharply at the intrusion of skin on skin contact below her hips. Her eyes met his begging, confused, before giving up on empathising with him and turning to aggression.

"I will! I will tell him and he'll kill you!" Her voice was pathetic. It hurt too, but she was screaming uncharacteristically for herself.

"Hmm. Will you now? Even if I do this?"

Gakushuu's other hand which she hadn't been expecting grasped her cheeks rougher than Karma would, despite his pledge to be gentle, her lips were rubbed against by cold, unwelcome yet familiar tasting flesh and his tongue brushing against the inside of her mouth, touching the surface at first, but then diving in deeper when he realised he held her jaw and she couldn't bite. She couldn't scream either. She couldn't cry. She couldn't claw at him through his clothes, or kick him under his weight.

Her hands searched out beside her as he groaned into her mouth and ravished her. It was completely accidental when her fingers found the glass rim of the bottle, and moved without acting.

Glass smashed over Gakushuu's head, raining down over her too in thick shards. Her eyes clenched shut, but the boy above wasn't so lucky, he pulled up and grabbed his head, groaning out like a child who had fallen over in the playground.

Nagisa almost felt bad. Blood was dripping down his hand, forehead, lips and neck as he covered his face, but she knew caring would get her no where. She slid out from under him and grabbed a shard of raw glass.

"Nagisa!" He groaned painfully, falling forwards on the bed as he tried to stop the blood that matted his hair. She cringed at how painful it appeared, but proceeded onward in rushing to the door and yanking on the handle hard.

"It won't open-"

"Then fucking open it before I hurt you even more?"

"Why did you do that?" He whined hurt, only just clearing the blood from his eyes with two fists, feeling woozy. "..why didn't you just ask me to stop?"

Nagisa paled. Her confidence wavered, her grip on her weapon loosening.

Gakushuu took a step towards her.

"S-stay there!"

"Don't you want me to open the door?"

Nagisa glanced over her shoulder at the door nervously, knowing he was trying to play her.

She slid against the wall towards the bathroom door, pressing her back to it with her hands shaking.

"Open it." She breathed.

Gakushuu stumled over, his eyes down cast and more blood dripping down from him onto the new, clean floors he had just had fitted especially for her.

He leaned agaisnt the door, his hands trembling, and then turned towards her.

"Nagisa, I can't open it; I promised Karma to keep you here."

"No! You have to! If you don't I'll-"

"He'll kill me if I release you, so either way the outcome is inevitable."

The girl faltered, her eyes downcast. From the corner of her eyes, there was a rush of motion.

Nagisa screamed, slashing at his arm aimlessly. She felt the cut drag into his skin and tear through the skin, her hands felt so dirty he managed to rip the blade from her hand. There was blood everywhere when she turned around and kicked his chin roughly, until he landed hard n the bathroom floor.

She slammed the door shut, picking up her dropped glass and pointing it at the door.

"G-Gakushuu stay in there! If you come out, screw telling Karma, I'll kill you myself!"

"Nagisa..." He groaned. "I-I think I'm gonna pass out."

She remembered where sympathy had gotten her last time and grit her teeth.

"There's a first aid kit in there isn't there? I'm sure you can help yourself?"

There was no reply. She heard a deep stumbling that may have been him falling to the ground dead. But she wasn't prepared to check. She glanced at the bloody carpets, the glassy bed sheets, feeling all the more trapped and hateful of this place, she sank down and retreated into the furthest corner, closing her eyes and dropping her hands, which she know realised were still trembling.

Gakushu was right. She couldn't trust Karma, yet her fate was in his hands. All she could do was watch and wait until he broke through that door and returned to her.

Karma never returned as he had promised that night. Nagisa counted the seconds, minutes, hours waiting for him to return home, but he never did. At some point, she started to fumble with the door herself, and growing more panicky after 24 hours without him was on the verge of a nervous breakdown when Gakushuu slipped out of the bathroom without her noticing. All she remembered after that was a single moment of painful fear, before she woke up in her bed comfortably as if nothing had happened.

This time, she was alone. There was food and everything was clean, but the silence slowly dawned on her and suffocated her with the bricked up windows and the lack of sunlight. The dependency on man's creations and two men was making her sick. She ate, but it refused to stay settled in her stomach.

If the world were to end right now outside and be taken over by zombies, she wouldn't know until she had starved to death. That was how trapped she felt. She kept telling herself that it was nothing, that she was over reacting because she was afraid, and that she should be glad Gakushuu wasn't with her. But that didn't change a thing. Her heart was still heavy and her hands still shaky. At this rate, she would start ageing with how anxious she was.

What if Gakushuu left her and didn't come back like Karma did? What if he was punishing her for hurting him? What if he never came back. Picking at her food nervously, Nagisa closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, beginning her mantra of counting again as she sat by the door with a muffin in one hand, and a metal fork in the other digging thin scratching into the bottom of the door like a trapped dog scratching to escape.

"Hey. What the fuck is your problem?" Gakushuu hissed to Karma the moment he got him alone that day in school. The redhead glanced back as if he had no clue who the teen was, but then taking in the poorly bandaged head that was usually styled so neatly, he chortled loudly and pointed a patronising finger in his face.

"The real question is what the fuck happened to you."

"Shut it." He grabbed his finger and slammed the whole hand down angrily. Purple eyes glanced around both sides cautiously before leaning in, "You thought you would leave Nagisa with me huh? If you don't want her just fucking tell me and I'll be happy to have her. Just don't make me tell her your coming and then refuse to show your face."

Gakushuu made the mistake of pointing to his bandages as Karma's amusement slowly faded.

"Nagisa did that to you?" He seemed shocked, excited even, though his expression was vacantly still. "What did you do to her?"

He spoke like he just knew, causing the other boy to swallow roughly. "I didn't do anything. You're the one who kidnapped her and let her wake up to see my face."

"Ah, so you figured it ou-"

"Of course I would no answer me." He demanded grimly.

"Listen Asano." He seethed, "Last night the cops were waiting for me at my moms place, so I couldn't show up. On top of that, I think I'm being followed."

"You're paranoid."

"Even if I am it's not worth the risk. The fact that I'm talking to you shows a connection and the fact that you're looking like shit implies you've put someone in an uncomfortable threatening situation. Do you know what this means?"

Gakushuu's face screwed up, "They might think I'm the one who kidnapped her."

"Exactly, which means yo and me can't be seen talking to her, or they'll take one look at you and decide that you're the one who needs following, so if they find her, just know that it's cause you're a fucking idiot."

Gakushuu gasped, stepping away and holding his bandages in realisation. He tugged them off, revealing the band-aid over the stitching.

"Like that's any better." Karma rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. I don't wanna talk to you at school anyway. Just stop by and talk to her. She already found out about her dad, it won't be long before she finds out about the mother too."

This earned another eye roll as the only way Nagisa would find out was if Gakushuu slipped up, and he had just admitted that twice.

"The last thing I want is them getting their hands on her, so it might be a while before I can come over. They don't have any evidence anyway, for now, we're both upset about her missing and not talking to each other much, got it? And don't you dare bring up Nagisa on public again." He threatened, completely serious about keeping her his precious, private property.

When the door to the house finally opened, Gakushuu was standing their scowling. Nagisa looked up delighted, melting away his sorrows only to replace them with guilt when he realised he'd have to tell her Karma wasn't coming.

Nagisa's eyes refused to darken however, and she stood up to greet him and delightfully pressed her head against his shoulder.

"I thought you weren't coming back." Her voice was small, her eyes downcast and a little embarrassed. His emotions stirred up inside of him, taking a risk and placing his hand on her head, she leaned into the touch comfortable. He breathed out amazed.

"Nagisa."

She didn't return the look, but she wouldn't let go of his arm either.

"Did you miss me?"

The pretty blunette acted in a way he never thought she would, blushing and nodding her head slightly, following his every movement as he walked over to sit on the end of the bed. His finger brushed her chin gently, eyes absorbing the beauty as though it were a fleeting mirage of an angle he would only see once.

"I'm sorry Nagisa, Karma won't be able to make it."

She was very sad. But spoke up gently and shrugged, "I had a feeling he wasn't anyway."

Oh Nagisa.

Everything about her demeanour was so incredibly tempting. He could get away with so much while she was nervous like this, while she thought it would only be them for the rest of their lives. This was perfect, getting to see her every day in his soft cotton clothing and sleeping on his bed sheets. He traced her lips elatedly, reminding himself to thank Karma for this in the future.

"Were you lonely without me?"

"Mhmm." She hugged him tighter. "I...I didn't know what to do."

"It's okay," He tilted up her face to get a look at her, admiring the soft kiss of light on her eyelashes and sleep on her full lips and smooth cheeks. "I'll get you out of here Nagisa, I promise."

He pressed his lips into her forehead, and although her stomach wavered with something akin to nervousness, it was the first non-depressed feeling that actually resembled a human emotion all day, merging into a pleasantry as she leaned into him and closed her eyes. Gakushuu had to whisper at he mesmerizingly soft skin, hair, scent and hug.

"And then it will be just you and me, together."