5 years ago, Christmas Eve:

JJ looked over from her conversation with Will to see Brennan sitting by herself at a table, staring out onto the dance floor of the building that the Bureau was renting in order to throw it's annual Christmas party. She muttered something to Will before she made her way across the room and slid into a seat next to Brennan. She followed the red-head's gaze and sees Emily and Spencer dancing on the floor.

"Why don't you go and dance with him?"

Brennan turned and looked at JJ. "I'm sorry?"

"You're staring awfully hard at him."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Brennan said as she pushed her hair behind her shoulder.

JJ put her hand on top of Brennan's. "It's not hard to see how you feel for him, Brennan, and there's nothing wrong with your feelings." She looked out at Spencer and Emily again. "How long?"

Brennan sighed deeply. "I don't even know when it started, JJ. One day I just looked at him differently. It's odd because he's got to be the most incredibly awkward guy that I've ever known and for some reason I can't get my mind off of him."

You're infatuated."

"I'm something," Brennan agreed.

JJ smiled at her. "You both deserve to be happy."

"There are all kinds of rules against fraternization, especially for members of the same team, JJ. Besides, I'm sure he doesn't even think of me that way."

JJ let out a barking laugh. "Come on, Brennan, even you can't be that blind. That boy looks at you like he's dying of dehydration and you're the last cup of water around."

Brennan frowned at her. "Then why hasn't he made a move yet."

"Because it's Spence and he's awkward. He's afraid of rejection."

"Everyone's afraid of rejection."

"Will you stop arguing with me and go and dance with him? Maybe then he'll know that it's okay to ask you out."

Brennan looked at her friend and fellow teammate before she nodded and got up, heading out onto the dance floor. She headed straight for Spencer and Emily, tapping the woman lightly on the shoulder. "Mind if I cut in?"

"Go right ahead," Emily said with a laugh. "I need another drink." She walked off to head to the bar where Morgan had set up camp.

"Can I have this dance, Dr. Reid?" Brennan asked as the music turned to a slow beat.

Spencer nodded as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his body against hers. His arms wrapped around her waist as they swayed to the music playing around them. He couldn't take his eyes off of hers. Her green eyes were almost blinding, they were sparkling so bright. She wore a long black evening gown that hugged every curve on her body.

He could remember the exact moment that he realized he had started falling for her. They had just discovered the body of a little girl that they had been looking for for over a week and she had closed herself off from everyone, except him. She let him in and spoke to him about her feelings, letting him and no one else see her cry. She was very hard in the field. She didn't show emotion. It was one of the things that made her a good FBI agent. That day changed everything.

"I thought that Emily was going to hog you all night."

Spencer's lip quirked slightly. "Maybe I was just passing the time until someone else came along."

"Who were you waiting for, Dr. Reid?"

You. That word hung on the end of his tongue but before he could say it a shot rang out across the crowded hall. Spencer felt the bullet go past his face and saw the line of blood appear across Brennan's cheek before impacting with the agent who was dancing behind her.

Spencer didn't have time to think about his reaction before he pushed Brennan to the floor and covered her body with his own as more bullets started firing followed by screams.

As quickly as the shooting started, it all stopped. Spencer lifted his head and looked around the crowded room. Everyone had dropped to the floor except for one person. Morgan was standing next to the bar area holding his gun in front of him, pointed at the fallen subject.

"Amy," Brennan said as she pushed Spencer off of her and knelt beside the woman who had been shot behind her. She felt for a pulse on the woman's neck before sighing as she didn't feel one.

"Honey," Spencer said to her quietly as suddenly there was a lot of noise and bumbling around as people tried to make sense of what just happened. "You need to get your cheek looked at. You're bleeding."

Brennan put her hand to her face and pulled it back, looking at the blood that coated her fingers. "What happened, Spencer?"

"I don't know, but we have to get you looked at." Spencer pulled her to her feet and tucked an arm around her waist.

"I don't need to get looked at," Brennan protested. "Can you just take me home?"

Spencer looked at her before he stopped at the door. "Stay here a minute." He left her side and her eyes followed him as he walked over to where the rest of their team was gathered. She felt Hotch's eyes on her, but she didn't stop looking at Spencer. He headed back to her and wrapped an arm around her again. "Hotch said it's okay for us to leave, but you're going to have to let me clean that cut up."

"Okay," Brennan said quietly.

"Alright, Hotch, well, let us know if anything changes," Reid said to his boss as he watched Brennan sitting on the bed staring at the wall. "I don't know how she is. She seems like she's in shock right now. Okay, I'll call if that happens." He hung up the phone and moved back into the room, sitting beside Brennan on the bed.

"That was Hotch?"

Spencer nodded as he picked up a wet washcloth. "This is going to hurt," he said quietly as he uses it to clean the blood off of her cheek.

"What happened, Spencer?"

"The man was Amy's estranged husband. He came there with the intention of killing her and figured he'd take out as many agents as he could. Only three of the shots connected and Amy was the only fatality."

Brennan shook her head as she took in that information. She remembered Amy talking about how her husband had cheated on her because she was never home and how he blamed the bureau for taking her away from him. She worked in counter-terrorism and was one of the nicest people that Brennan had ever met.

"He knew it was a suicide mission."

Spencer nodded as he placed butterfly bandages over her cheek. "He knew there was no way that he was going to make it out of there." He pulled his hands away from her and gave her a half smile. "I guess I should go home and let you get some sleep."

Brennan reached out and grabbed his hand as he started to get up. "Please stay, Spencer, I don't want to be alone tonight."

Spencer sat back down beside her and pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on top of her head. She was shaking in his arms and he tried to pull her closer to him. When he saw her start to bleed he had thought the worse. He thought that she had gotten shot and was going to die in front of him. Thankfully it was just a bullet graze, but others hadn't been so lucky.

"Spencer?" Brennan asked as she pulled away slightly and looked up at him.

"Yeah?"

"Will you kiss me?"

Spencer furrowed his brow slightly. "What?"

Brennan reached out and touched his cheek before running a hand through his hair. "I want you to kiss me."

"You've just gone through a trauma, Brennan. It's normal that you're going to want to eliminate the way you're feeling and you're fear by replacing it with other feelings, but it's not real. You know statistically…" His words are cut off as Brennan pressed her lips to his own.

Brennan moaned into the kiss and pressed her body against Spencer's trying to get as close to him as she could. She broke the kiss and looked at Spencer before gasping as he aggressively kissed her again, his hands moving to her arms and shoulders before finally cupping her face.

"This isn't me trying to find a way to cope," Brennan said as she broke the kiss. "This is me taking what I've wanted for a long time."

Spencer searched her eyes before he smiled at her and pressed his lips to hers again. He couldn't get enough of her lips against his own. Of her body pressed tightly against his own to where he could her heart beating against his own. He didn't realize how much he wanted this, how much he needed it.

Brennan pulled away from the kiss and stood up. She smiled at Spencer as she reached behind her and unzipped her dress. Spencer watched as she slipped the material off of her arms and let it pool at the bottom of her feet. She stood before him in a mismatched blue bra and orange panties.

"They say that women who don't wear matching undergarments are smarter than those that do because they're not following the norm. They have their own thoughts and essentially most of them are geniuses."

"They only genius here is you," Brennan said as she straddled his waist. "And I'd much rather only talk about my panties if you're pulling them off of me." She doesn't give him time to respond as she kissed him again, tangling her hands in his hair as she moved her waist on top of his.

"You're killing me," Spencer whispered against her lips as he rested his forehead against hers. "You're so incredibly sexy."

"Spencer?"

"Hmm?"

Brennan took his hand in her own and led it down to the apex between her thighs. "I want you to touch me. I want you to make love to me. Fuck, Spence, I just want you."

Spencer moaned as he kissed her, standing up and turning them before dropping her back onto the bed. "Take those off," he ordered her.

Brennan raised her eyebrows as she looked at him, but she complied with what he said removing the rest of her clothing and laying on the bed naked before him.

Spencer stared at her for the longest time. Her pale body was littered with freckles from head to toe. She was skinny enough to where you could make out her ribs and he made a mental note to make sure she ate more than once a day, which was her usual.

"Are you just going to stare at me all night?"

"It's tempting," Spencer answered her honestly. "It's so tempting."

Brennan smiled as she sat up and hooked her thumbs under his belt loop, pulling him against her before her hands trailed up to his tie. She quickly had the material off of him and worked on his shirt pulling the fabric open and pushing it down his arms.

"I'm not sure my body is as fun to look at as yours is."

"It's perfect," Brennan answered without hesitation as she placed his lips on his stomach just above his bellybutton, smiling to herself as his muscles clenched. "Do you want me, Spencer Reid?"

Spencer kissed her deeply, running his hand through her locks of hair. "There is no one that I have ever wanted more in my life."

"No regrets?" Brennan whispered against his lips.

"I would never have regrets about you," Spencer answered as his lips found hers again.

They made love that night until the early light of dawn was starting to peak through the window and both of them were too exhausted to do anything but sleep.

"Wake up."

Brennan opened her eyes as the harsh voice made its way into her subconscious. "God, Rutledge, can't even let a woman sleep in peace?"

"I think you've slept enough."

"Yes, let me thank you for those two hours or sleep a day you give me," Brennan answered as she watched the man pacing in front of her.

Rutledge stopped pacing and looked at her. "Sleep deprivation is a very well established torture technique. Why do you think so many parents go off the deep end that first year, but then again, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

Brennan took a deep breath as the loss of her daughter hit her again. She pulled against the chains holding her to the bed, hissing as the metal rubbed against her already raw skin.

"Why are you doing this, Rutledge? What do you hope to accomplish?"

"I don't want to do anything but reunite you with your husband."

Brennan furrowed her brow as she looked at Rutledge. "I haven't spoken to Spencer in months. He's not going to come here looking for me."

Rutledge tilted his head as he examined her. "That's where you're wrong. You see I have access to your phone and all your contacts. All of those patsy's messages to you begging you to come home. I made damn sure your team knew exactly where you are."

Brennan cursed as she pulled at the chains again. "Rutledge, they have nothing to do with this, just leave them alone."

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Rutledge!" Brennan cursed as she resigned herself back onto the bed. "Please stop this. You have me, they are of no importance to you."

Rutledge smiled as he looked at her. "I know you want to see him one last time. I know you want to say goodbye to him before I put a bullet in your head. You see this time there can be no mistakes. I don't know how you lived before, but that won't happen this time. I was so angry when I saw the newspaper articles about how an FBI agent miraculously survived two life threatening gunshot wounds and was reunited with her husband after losing their unborn child."

Brennan clenched her jaw. "You shot me in the stomach to make sure that if I did survive, she wouldn't. You're nothing but a pathetic little child murderer. Those people in Sumas, did that make you feel powerful?" She scoffed at the look on his face. "You're nothing, Rutledge, just another sack of shit that my team is going to put down like the rabid dog that you are."

Rutledge pursed his lips. "You have a big mouth for someone that is going to be dead shortly." He turned behind him and hit a button on the TV.

Brennan frowned as she realized that it was the footage from her hotel room. Her eyes went straight to the bear sitting in between the pillows on the bed.

"There we go," Rutledge said as he watched the three team members enter the room on the footage. "Told you they would come for you. Be good while I'm gone, poppet. I'll have a nice surprise for you when I get back."

"I swear to God, Rutledge, I will kill you if you hurt them!" Brennan yelled as he left the room. She fell back onto the bed and her eyes went to the screen watching as Spencer picked up the bear and held it to his chest. "Please just go home, baby," she whispered softly.