A L E C

June, 2005.

I was standing at the edge of Brooklyn Bridge, needing the voices to stop. They kept coming constantly. Whispering in my ears. I never understood what they were trying to tell me. It was almost midnight. I was all alone, Max was gone. I'd lost my will to live. That's when I saw him for the first time. Magnus Bane. The reason for my existence.

When I woke up I realized I was in my room at The Lightwood Mansion. It had never felt like home to me and clearly nothing has changed.
The memories from last night were a blur. I remembered trying to tell Magnus about us when dad and Dot came into the hospital room. I got mad, I'm not sure why. Jace was there too and the rest was a blank. I didn't remember anything else.

I heard a knock at the door. It was Izzy. She came in and sat by my side.
"Hey big brother, You doing okay?" She took my hand.
"I'm fine Iz." I stroked her hand with my thumb, reassuring her that I was okay. Neither of us could've handled the loss of another sibling.
"This might not be the best time for saying this with everything that has been going on Alec but know this, I love you.." She took out a small box from her pocket and gave it to me, it had a picture of us. Me, Izzy, Jace, Clary, Simon and...Magnus.

"..Happy 28th birthday Alec."

S

When Alec passed out last night, I was terrified. I didn't understand where all these feelings were coming from but they were there...just there. It was getting harder to access them as if someone had buried them deep. But they were there, my subconscious trying in vain to tell me something. Lying on the bed, I kept replaying the events from last night in my head. Everything that Alec said was off center. But it still felt like I should believe anything he says. The picture is no more clearer than it was last night, and nothing seems wrong with my memory. I love Dot.

"Magnus." I heard Dot come inside. She sat at the end of my bed, smiling.
"I'm so glad you're okay Magnus." Her smile didn't look heartfelt. She leaned in to kiss me, I was going to kiss her back but I didn't want to. It felt more like I had to. Maybe because I was just worried about Alec. There it was again. Alec. No, I couldn't think about him like that, it was never going to work. And then I heard something.
"Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?" Dot looked taken aback. Even I wasn't sure if I actually heard something or was it just me trying to make an excuse so that I didn't have to kiss her. No. I did hear something. I heard it again. It was Alec's voice.

"I hear that...relationships...they umm...take effort."
"I'm all for effort."

What's wrong with me?
"Magnus, I don't hear anything. What are you talking about?" Dorothia's voice interrupted my thoughts. What was I to say? Instead of talking to her I want to know about Alec. Is he okay? He must be close to his twenty eighth birthday. Being a Lightwood had its perks. I told myself I was just curious and there was nothing more to it.

Who am I kidding. It isn't curiosity, I'm worried. I want to see him again, plain and simple.

"Dot."
"Yes?"
"Is Alec okay?"
Her expression changed from concern to raw anger in a second. I regretted asking her even though I didn't understand her intense reaction but it was done and I did not want to back down.

"Why do you care?" Her voice almost venomous.
"Excuse me?" She is right ofcourse. Why do I care? I barely know him.
Doesn't matter.

"I'm just curious Dot. After everything he said last night..."
"Magnus, whatever he said doesn't matter. The boy must be hallucinating, he seemed close to the final cycle. What do you expect? He's a hunter. A Lightwood. They're all crazy."

I didn't like her tone. I didn't want her to talk about him like that. I felt like I had to defend him. No. Dot's right. He's a Lightwood. Besides, I was with her. I should be happy. I should be. Then why wasn't I? Don't I love her?

"Here, I snuck you some blood bags." She took out three from her bag. Thank the angel if there was any, because I was starving.

A L E C

Happy 28th Birthday Alec.

It was my birthday. It was supposed to be me and Magnus, we were supposed to go on a vacation to Tokyo, at the Palace Hotel.

"Alec." said dad as he came in. Izzy had already left a few minutes ago. He looked dour.

"Hi, dad."
"We need to talk about last night."
"If you think I should move on from Magnus..."
"We'll come to that but right now we have more pressing matters Alec and you must listen to me. This is very important."
"Is Jace okay?"
"You remember that?" He looked hesitant. As if he wanted to tell me something very troubling. But whatever it was, there wasn't anything worse that could happen after what had already happened with Magnus. So I was ready to hear anything. I had started to expect the worst from life after...
"Alec, do I have your attention?"
"Yes."

There was a moment of silence. Before anything could be said though, Jace entered. He looked fine. Locking the door he sat next to dad.

"Jace, this is not the right time."
"You know when will be the right time for me Robert? Never. I deserve to know the truth too. I know you don't consider me your son and you have every right to do that but Alec is my brother, if there's something wrong with him..."
"I do consider you my son Jonathan." No one ever used Jace's full name. It was a reminder of the darkest times of his life.
"Dark times are coming and you should be prepared, both of you. Isabelle cannot know. And Alec, you need to stay away from Magnus Bane..." Before I could interrupt, dad held up his hand.
"You don't know everything about him."
"I've known him for seven years dad." I was pissed. He'd never liked Magnus but I should be the one to choose who I want to spend my life with.
"Seven years is nothing Alexander. Not when he has an eternity to live and not when he has had the time of a hundred life times."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jace was the first one to speak. Dad ignored him.
"Alec." There was a long pause.

"You were there. The night Max died. I know you saw something. Something you couldn't explain. Which is what..."
"That's enough." I spat. I didn't want to hear any more of that, I was done.
"Robert, I think we should come back later." Jace grabbed Robert's arm but he shoved him away.
"This cannot wait. You must face the truth..."
"Listen to me Dad, I know you blame me for Max's death but.."
"That's the thing Alexander. I do not. It wasn't your fault. And I know who's responsible. I've known for the past ten years and this is the day, you've completed the final cycle of the hunt."
Okay. Dad has finally lost it. My head was going to explode. My skin was burning. What the hell is a final cycle. Nothing made sense. And then the lights flickered again, just like last night. It was me. I was doing that. Jace felt it too. He looked at me shocked. Dad seemed rather happy, Infact he looked almost proud. WHAT? He was never proud of me. I got up from my bed and tried leaving the room but it was locked, the lock was frozen, and by frozen I mean literally. I turned around to look at dad. Jace was just as confused and I could see a hint of fear too. I felt the same. Was terrified of myself. I hurt him, my brother. The events of last night became clearer. As Dot put her hands on either sides of my head, she said something and then..her eyes were glowing. I remembered.. It was like 2005. The wretched day happening all over again. After the night Max died, I tried so hard to forget. Who would've believed me? That I saw fangs and felt cold as if death was around me. But now it seemed like my dad was just as crazy as I was. I wanted to scream, my head was spinning.

"Alec, you need to calm down." I heard Jace near me. I was burning up, He pulled me closer. We were both on our knees now, my head on his shoulder, his hand rubbing my back. I could hear Magnus, I saw him, I remembered. His eyes. We were at his loft, they were glowing. I only caught a glimpse back then and didn't pay much attention but now it felt like I knew what it meant. At the thought of Magnus being around me, I calmed down. My breathing almost even. My heartbeat back to normal and the lights stopped flickering.
I stood up, my hands rolled into fists. I was ready to listen.