A L E C

Magnus? A Vampire? Did he ever love me? Did he even care? At all? Was this some sick twisted plan? If he loved me why didn't he tell me. Why didn't he trust me? Seven years? Were they not enough? Am I not enough?
No. If he loved me he would've told me the truth. I know dad wants me to choose. But he's not giving me a choice. Magnus might not be a monster but he's not in love with me, not anymore anyways. "I love you Alec." His voice echoed in my head. Lies. All lies.

I know what to do. If this is my fate, my duty? I will have to accept it sooner or later. There is no more time to lose.

S

"All set to go back home!"
Standing in the parking lot of the hospital I heard Dot. I was going to go back to my loft. The wretched days of the hospital were over. I smiled as she approached me, I wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her closer. She leaned in and we kissed. But as we pulled back I saw him. Again. As if it was never Dot. It had been a week since I last saw him. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to come back or just wanted him to leave forever so that I never had to think about not being with Dot again but the thought of never seeing Alec again pained me, sent shivers down my spine. I smiled because I knew I was hallucinating. About him. Why? I needed it to stop.
I went to sit in the car, Dot on the driving seat. I wanted to sleep. Yes, vampires can sleep. I was starving too, not sure if the hunger was for blood or something else or someone. Not again. Before I could get into fantasizing about Alec the fourth time in the day we fortunately arrived to our destination just in time. I got out from the car and went inside the loft, just the same as I saw it the last time. But still felt like something was missing. Dot and I sat on the couch and talked for a few hours after which she left. I got up to make cocktails when I heard the doorbell ring. I opened the door.

"Magnus my friend! Cómo Estás?" Okay. He isn't happy with me.
"Raphael."

Raphael. The only other soul who knew me. Never left my side even after knowing everything there was to know about me. He was there, every single time assuring me that I wasn't alone in this world. I found him on the streets of New York, an eighteen year old orphan. I saw myself in him.

I turned for the first time when I was sixteen. I was out with my friend Catarina. She was an ordinary human and I always thought myself to be one too. She was seeing Ragnor at that time. He loved her and she was my first victim. I killed my best friend. That was when I started developing the crescent sign on my spine, almost invisible but every time I killed, it burned like hell but the pain was so good. Pleasurable. I couldn't stop. We were in the woods Catarina and I. It was the 12th Century. Almost 900 years ago but the guilt never went away. Still there, every moment of every day. The pain that came with it was like water. Had the ability to push through every boundary. And then I was left with no choice but to drown in it. The crescent mark resembled the star on my wrist. I didn't understand their meaning until I met Robert Lightwood in 2011. He had a Sun on his wrist, I noticed it when I shook hands with him at the company dinner. It was the same day I had met Alec seven years ago.

"If you don't mind me asking why is your boyfriend roaming around the streets of Manhattan killing vampires, I thought you had the situation under control. You were supposed to be there when he turned twenty eight, I understand why you didn't want to hurt him but we've had this conversation before..."
Whenever Raphael begin to speak, there was no stopping him especially if he was mad. He continued scolding me as he started walking into the loft and I started walking backwards and now he was sitting on the couch when something he said caught my attention. My boyfriend roaming around the streets killing vampires? Then it's a good thing that I don't have a boyfriend right?
"Raphe who are you talking about?" He looked irritated by the question.
"Magnus, I love you but you're seriously starting to raise my hackles. Who do you think I'd be talking about? You only have one."
"I love you too but you sound crazy. I have a girlfriend Raphe I've had one since 2011."
Raphael just rolled his eyes. "Alec finally get a sex change operation? Good for him. Now can we go back to controlling his murderous hunter instincts? That was the plan in the first place which you decided to ruin if I might add. Who knows, you could be his next kill while you guys are being all lovey dovey and..."
Raphael talked too fast. Always. And he talked crazy too but it was more like he just had a memory wipe and now he was finally close to the point where he'd lost it.
"Raphe, are you out of your mind?"
"No, your boyfriend is."
"Alec is not my boyfriend!"
"Excuse me? When was the last time you fed? What is wrong with you ?" He looked shocked. Things weren't adding up. Why wouldn't he know about Dot? I always told him everything. When Rafe came to New York in 2013, all three of us went to Central Park.
"I'm with Dot." He looked pissed, He liked Dot right? He liked my partner. They were friends.
"No you're not! That witch. Magnus, she's a Blackwell. They can't be trusted. She's done something to you. You're supposed to be with Alec."
"No I am not! Blackwell witches have stood by the vamps in times of need."
"Yeah, when they're the ones in need, not the other way around."
"What are you talking about Rafe? How about we just get some rest? Alec is a Lightwood. Sure I found him pretty when I first met him at the company dinner with the Lightwood family but that's about it."
"First off, that's not the first time you met him. The first time you met him was at Brooklyn Bridge in 2005. I can't believe I'm explaining your own relationship timeline to you."
I was confused, very confused. I wanted to believe Raphe, it would make things a lot easier but something just kept pushing me to stay the hell away from Alec. Or maybe it was the other way around. My mind was conflicted. A lot of my memories didn't add up but I trusted Dot. Even if she was hiding something there has to be a reason behind it.

A L E C

It has been a week since dad filled me up with the crazy family legacy. At this point I was ready to believe in zombies too but I'd stopped caring. In the last seven days, I'd killed almost eleven vampires and every time I thought of Magnus being one of them I just wanted to die. Jace was by my side the whole time, he was less freaked out and when I asked him the reason he told me about the times he had seen me do 'stuff'. Strange stuff. It was weird because I don't remember any of it but I was too tired to think anymore. The only reason I went on this rampage to start eradicating vampires from the face of the earth was so that dad could think I had made a choice. Which I had, but I chose Magnus. If I had to kill anymore vamps just so that in the meantime dad's attention would be lifted from trying to kill Magnus, I would do it gladly. Not that gladly but still. I might even never see him again but I had to try. Dad wants Magnus dead because he thinks he was involved in Max's death but I wasn't ready to believe that. When I first met him in June, 2005 at the Brooklyn Bridge we were both going through things we didn't want to talk about. Max died in January and Magnus' ex-girlfriend, Cammile had went missing in May. A lot happened the night Max died. We were out for icecream, it was just the two of us. It was midnight and we snuck out of the house because Max had been having nightmares. He never talked about them until that night. They started off when he turned eight. Dad ignored it every time and he never let me help him or wake him up. That night after we were returning home Max wanted to go into the woods because he kept talking about a crystal. It made a lot more sense now. Dad told me that few hunters are able to connect with one of the crystals. Apparently, Max was one of those few hunters. I didn't take him to the woods so he started running towards the woods on his own. I ran after him but it was too late. If only I'd been a little faster or if I had never taken him out of the house in the first place, things would've been so different. The medical examiner reported that it was an animal attack. I made myself believe that too and tried forgetting what I had seen. No one would've believed me. It was a man who attacked him and dad thinks it was Magnus. He said some witch had told him. If that was true, I vowed to him that I will kill Magnus myself. Dad was more than happy to let me do it but he had something else in mind. He wanted me to make Magnus fall in love with me again and then kill him so that in the last moments of his life, he suffers. I don't believe any witches so I am going to find out the truth on my own even if it means I have to confront Magnus or lay down bodies in the process. And if dad's right, Magnus will suffer.