As usual...

Darrinia: ¡Espero que tu perrita esté bien, pobrecita! Awwww, you're so sweet, thanks for liking the way I write Blam! It's not really my doing, they're just so sweet! Thank you soooo much! Un beso, preciosa!

Mildlifecrissis: I'm so glad you liked the memories, it was the only way to have some blam in that chapter XD Don't feel sad, honey, just read the next chapter. Thank you so much!

CHAPTER 6: LOSS

It wasn't much later when King Burt's men made it to the fortress at Helm's Deep. That, and the fact that the people from Edoras had safely arrived thanks to Brittany's guiding, were reasons enough to celebrate, and soon a little party broke. Everybody was happy and relieved, except for the elf and the dwarf amongst them, who had never faced such terrible sadness before.

The last part of the journey had been hell for the two of them. It had taken Sebastian a lot of comforting and urging to get Blaine to move from the cliff where Sam had fallen. Blaine had cried, had begged Sebastian to leave him there, had tried to descend the impossible precipice to go and collect Sam's body –and would have done it if Sebastian hadn't stopped him–. He was obviously not thinking clearly, but of course Sebastian didn't blame him. He had been a direct witness to the love shared between those two creatures, so perfect for each other, and couldn't even imagine how Blaine was going to overcome his grief, if it was possible at all.

Emotionally exhausted, Blaine had finally let Sebastian take him away from there, put him on their horse and join the men on their travelling to Helm's deep. Sebastian couldn't see Blaine's face, as he was riding behind him, but had heard him sniffling all the way long, had felt the trembling on his body, and could almost physically feel the sorrow emanating from him.

When they made it to the fortress, Lady Brittany was waiting for them at the gate, anxious to know about their welfare (especially Sam's). Sadness filled her heart when he noticed not all the soldiers had made it.

"So few of you have returned" she told her uncle sadly when he got down from his horse.

"Our people are safe, but we have paid for it with many lives" King Burt answered, as he helped one of the wounded men towards the Healing Wing.

"My lady" Sebastian told her politely, as he approached her.

"Lord Sam... where is he?" she asked, already fearing the worst.

"He fell" Sebastian simply answered, his voice shaking, but he couldn't stay around to comfort her because there was someone else in much bigger need of his company, and that was his friend Blaine.

Brittany stood petrified at Sebastian's news, not wanting to believe Sam was gone. But as she stood there, she watched Sebastian grab Blaine's arm to get him to dismount, as he had yet to move. Then Sebastian encircled his waist, half embracing, half supporting him, and accompanied him up the stairs toward the palace.

Brittany was shocked at how pale the elf was, how he was shaking, how his eyes were swollen and red, and she couldn't help but wonder how close had Sam and the elf been. She remembered how Sam had insinuated his lover was an elf, but she had never imagined that elf would be right in front of her eyes. But Blaine looked so devastated... She felt a little jealous, now that she knew –or at least she had high suspicions– he was the owner of Sam's heart, her competitor for his affections.

But then she thought it didn't matter anymore. Sam was dead.

Brego, the crazed horse that only Sam had been able to pacify back at Edoras, had escaped from his actual owner once they made it to Helm's Deep, and had started his way back to where the Men had fought the Orcs just some hours ago. It was as if the animal knew his protector needed him, and he had fled to his rescue.

Brego had found Sam unconscious, pretty battered and with no strength at all. But Brego wanted to return the favor done by Sam, who had prevented the men from sacrificing the horse when he had seemed to go crazy. So he started touching Sam's face with his snout, licking it patiently, until Sam had regained consciousness and had recognized the horse. But he was still completely powerless, so Brego had laid at his side for Sam to climb on top of him and then slowly stood up, with Sam on his back, and had started their way back to Helm's Deep, where none of them were expected but would be gladly welcome.

At last at Helm's deep, Blaine sat in a corner of the room that had been assigned to him and Sebastian at the fortress where the whole city of Edoras was waiting for the battle with Sue's forces. He wasn't doing anything: he just sat there, on the floor, with an emptiness in his eyes that Sebastian was beginning to worry about. He was calmer than before, but Sebastian doubted that was any better, as now a deep and quiet grief had established on his hollow gaze, which scared the dwarf deeply. Sebastian, who by now had overcome all his differences with the elf and considered him his best friend, approached him and squeezed his shoulder.

"Blaine" the elf didn't seem to hear him. "Blaine!" he called, a bit louder.

That seemed to put Blaine out of his stupor and looked at Sebastian with guilty eyes.

"I'm sorry, my friend, I was just thinking, I didn't hear you"

"And was that helping in any way?" Sebastian asked gently, trying to get him to talk, although he knew what the answer would be.

"No. I can't seem to get him out of my mind for even a second" A few tears began to fall freely from his eyes and Blaine didn't do anything to hide them. "Oh, Sebastian… what am I going to do without him?"

Sebastian couldn't stand his sadness anymore and kneeled in front of Blaine, holding him against his chest as strong as he could in an attempt of comforting him, just as he began stroking the elf's soft hair.

"I know you miss him, laddie. I miss him very much too, so I just can't imagine how hard it must be for you. But you have to be strong. I knew Sam, he would have wanted you to go on"

"I know" Blaine admitted with a tiny sob.

"And he surely wouldn't want you mourning over him when one of the greatest battle that has ever taken place in Middle Earth is about to begin. He would want you to take care of yourself. And he would never forgive me if I let anything happen to you!" Sebastian joked gently, which brought a sad smile to the elf's lips.

"I just can't stop thinking that we are all here thanks to him, and now he is going to miss it. And all the plans we had for when Sauron was defeated..."

"Stop it, Blaine. You have to stop thinking about it. We have to concentrate on what's ahead of us. I don't want to lose you too. I can't lose you" Sebastian confessed, a tear rolling down his cheek.

At that, Blaine looked intensely in the Dwarf's eyes.

"You are right. We have to fight for what Sam gave his life for. We owe him that"

"Yes, we do. He would be so proud of you..." Sebastian told his grieving friend, his voice full of emotion.

"Thank you" Blaine answered, squeezing himself strongly to Sebastian's chest, grateful that at least he had such a good friend in such terrible times. Sebastian just smiled fondly in response, and caressed the top of Blaine's head again.

Sam continued his journey towards Helm's Deep, getting stronger by the minute thanks to Brego's vigor, that allowed him to ride the whole way to save his strength. He would ask to keep that horse after the battle, if he survived, he thought, because he had demonstrated to be a wonderful mount and a loyal friend.

His wandering thoughts stopped abruptly when he heard the unmistakable sound of destruction: he turned around and discovered ten thousand Uruk-hai making their way towards Helm's deep. They were on foot, so it would take them a longer time to reach the fortress, but they would get there eventually. Sam knew he had to hurry. Besides, he needed to see Blaine urgently: he couldn't even imagine what he would be going through, he would be fretting with worry –or worse, if they had given him up for dead.

When he finally made it to the gates, he was immediately recognized so they opened for him, and word started quickly spreading about his return. Sebastian was the first to hear and ran to his encounter as Sam made his way in the fortress.

"Where is he? Get out of the way! I'm going to kill him!" He yelled as he tried to make his way through the crowd, until at last he was standing right in front of Sam. "You are the luckiest, the canniest and the most reckless man I ever knew!" Sebastian told him, with so much emotion on his voice that Sam couldn't help but to smile at him fondly. "Bless you, laddie"

Sebastian hugged Sam strongly and Sam returned the embrace for a moment. But there were more important issues that required his attention, and the first one would be to find his lover.

"Sebastian, how is Blaine?" he asked, worriedly.

Sebastian took a moment before answering, which made Sam worry all the more.

"He's... not doing so well. We thought you were dead" Sebastian explained, and Sam sighed sadly, as he had feared that.

"Where is he?"

"He's inside. He asked me to leave him alone for a while"

"I have to go to him" Sam explained in apology, but Sebastian dismissed him.

"You go. I want to see him smiling again too" Sebastian confessed, and Sam smiled at how many obstacles the elf and the dwarf had overcome to reach such a special friendship.

Sam took the stairs to go and meet his lover before it was too late. He knew how elves could die from grief, and he hoped that wouldn't be Blaine's fate. Not if he could do something about it.

He was so concentrated in his own thoughts that he practically bumped on a figure standing still on his way. He lifted his gaze to see who had dared to interfere in his way to his lover, and was surprised to see Blaine standing there, his face pale, his eyes unbelieving. Word of Sam's return had reached him too, and he had not been able to resist the need of checking for himself if he could dare to believe.

Sam didn't know how to proceed, as Blaine seemed to be in some kind of shock. So he just brought his hand to Blaine's face and cupped his cheek tenderly, feeling Blaine starting to shake and tears flooding his eyes.

"Blaine?" Sam asked tentatively, and his voice finally got Blaine to react and he threw himself at Sam's arms, still not able to say a word.

Sam encircled Blaine's body with his arms lovingly, reassuringly, and Blaine just clung to him with a death grip, as if he was not letting him go ever again.

"Here, easy, I've got you now" he whispered in Blaine's ear. He knew their embrace could be seen by anyone passing by, and that it was a little too intimate to be just about two friends reuniting again, but he couldn't care less at the moment: his priority was the vulnerable elf in his arms, and helping him in any possible way.

Blaine's silence turned into despairing sobs immediately, while his head kept hidden in the crock of Sam's neck. The man didn't know what to do to comfort his loved one, he couldn't imagine being in his position and being made to believe Blaine was dead, so he just kept fondling his soft hair and whispering reassurances in his pointed ear.

"It's alright, mella nin, we're together now. Everything's alright"

Blaine lifted his head from Sam's shoulder and looked at him right in the eye, taking the man's face between his hands.

"Sam... I can't believe you're here with me... I thought you had left me..."

"Not yet, mella, not yet. I would never go anywhere without looking at those beautiful eyes of yours one last time. Are you okay?"

"You're here" Blaine answered, embracing Sam strongly again. "You're here and that's all it matters"

This time it was Sam who broke the embrace and cupped Blaine's cheeks, so he could look at him and see what was in his eyes.

"No, it isn't. Your feelings matter to me very much too. I need to know you're okay"

Blaine sighed shakily and took Sam's hands from his face to squeeze them.

"You're late" Blaine joked, trying to change the subject, as he was not ready yet to discuss how he was feeling. "You look terrible"

Sam could see beyond Blaine's pretence, but if he didn't feel like talking about it yet, he would respect his wishes. After all, he had suffered enough; he deserved Sam's comprehension, so he just smiled at his joking attempt.

Blaine let go of one of Sam's hands to pick something from his pocket, and put it on Sam's hand, closing his fingers around it. When Sam opened them, he found the Evenstar, shinny as ever, and a goofy smile invaded his lips at knowing he had not lost it.

"Hannon le*" he said simply while putting it around his neck again, though much more was implicit in his words.

Blaine just nodded at him, and Sam brought his hand again to Blaine's cheek to dry the tears still there, forgotten, bringing a shy smile to Blaine's lips.

That's when Brittany saw them: she had heard about Sam's return too and had run to welcome him. But the scene in front of her had stopped her in her tracks: he saw the way Sam's hand caressed Blaine's cheek and how his other hand was entwined with the elf's. But what really caught his attention was the look in Sam's eyes as he gazed at the elf: there was adoration there, honesty, love, as she had never seen before. And the look on the elf's eyes was no different.

She understood that she had been right in her suspicions, and that Blaine was the one in Sam's heart. But well, that knowledge didn't change anything: she had already known she had a competitor, even if she didn't know who it was. Yes, Sam clearly loved him. But even love didn't have to be eternal. Not if she had anything to say about it. She didn't have anything against the elf, he seemed nice enough and had been nothing but polite and kind to her. It was nothing personal, but she had to obey her heart. And her heart wanted Sam.

After the reunion with his lover, Sam ran to the King to alert him from the ten thousand Uruk-Hai advancing slowly towards them, warning him they would be there by nightfall. The King decided to wait for them in the fortress, even after Sam insisted to go look for help from Gondor. But the King refused, arguing that Gondor had not helped them in the past, and the old allegiances with the Elves were dead. Nothing Sam said convinced him, so in the end all they could do was to get ready for the upcoming battle.

When Sam finished his conversation with the King, Blaine was waiting for him just outside and he didn't take no for an answer when he drove Sam to their room to have a rest. And once there, he forced him to lie down on the bed as he grabbed what he needed to take care of his wounds.

As Sam lay down on his back, Blaine sat at his side and carefully and lovingly cleaned his wounds, which were not too serious considering the fall he had taken. Sam was getting sleepy with Blaine's caring treatment, and Blaine did nothing to stop him from falling into slumber, as it had been his whole purpose from the beginning.

After taking care of the wounds, Blaine took a damp cloth and cleaned Sam's face slowly, with such tenderness that it almost brought tears to Sam's eyes, as he was not completely asleep yet. Blaine was not so lucky as to escape the tears, though, as looking at Sam's beautiful face, so placid in his rest, only made him remember what he had been so close to lose. When an involuntary sniff finally escaped Blaine's breathing, Sam opened his eyes and sat up to comfort his lover.

"Hey, sweetheart, come here" he tenderly said, embracing him strongly to his chest. "It's alright" he whispered to him, not bothering to ask what was wrong, as he was deeply aware of it.

"I know" Blaine answered in a surprisingly calm voice. "I just don't dare to believe you're here again in case it's just a dream and I wake up from it to find you still gone"

"This is no dream, I swear" Sam said, cupping Blaine's cheeks. "Let me show you"

He then brought Blaine's face to him and captured his lips in a slow and tender kiss, wanting to comfort Blaine and himself that they had both survived yet another difficult task. The elf's hair slipped between Sam's fingers as they kissed, and the familiarity and intimacy of it filled his heart more than any words could.

"It's a good way to convince me that you're real" Blaine joked when the kiss broke, his face flushed.

"You know, there's other ways to really show…"

"Don't even dare to finish this sentence" Blaine reprimanded him playfully. "You're hurt, and you are back from the dead. You need to rest before the battle" Blaine told him, more seriously this time because he still trembled every time he remembered how close he had come to lose him.

"I was fearing you'd say that" Sam humorously answered, squeezing Blaine's hand, knowing Blaine still needed a lot of comforting to overcome what had happened. "But can you at least lay here with me for a while? I'm sure you haven't rested much either"

Blaine smiled fondly as he idly played with the hair on Sam's forehead.

"You just keep asking and asking…" he joked, but he was already laying down on the bed and curling at Sam's side, who didn't lose a moment to envelop him with his arm and bring him closer to his chest.

"And I will keep doing it while you keep giving and giving…" Sam answered.

Blaine rested his head on Sam's chest, feeling at bliss in Sam's arms, and absentmindedly caressed the pendant hanging from Sam's neck, a token of their love. Sam smiled fondly and rested his hand over Blaine's.

"Amin harmuva onalle e' cormamin*" Sam whispered, and Blaine lifted his head from Sam's chest and looked at him adoringly for a second.

"You just rest for awhile" Blaine whispered, before kissing Sam's lips tenderly and then nestling up in his chest again. "I'll stay here with you"

"Don't go anywhere" Sam whispered back, as he closed his eyes and let slumber claim him.

* mella nin: my love

* mella: love

* Hannon le: thank you

*Amin harmuva onalle e' cormamin: I shall treasure your gift in my heart