CCNote: Happy Friday! The outline for A is for Uchiha is almost complete. Still gotta figure out letters W and Y. After that, I'm going to let the outline sit and get back to it around Christmas break if I don't return to America to see my family. If I do go home, I'll begin writing during Spring vacation instead. In between that time, I'll likely revamp/finish some of my old stuff if you guys are interested in it.
Anywho, remember this is crack. Have fun! Don't forget to leave a review!
Bad Influences
"Do you think anyone heard us?" Hinata said as she poked her head out of the storage room closet to ensure that no one was coming down the hall. Sasuke reached over her head and pushed the door open.
"If you weren't so loud we wouldn't have to worry about that Hyuuga." The Uchiha smirked as he walked into the hallway.
He looked back at Hinata who was clearly dissatisfied with his statement. That only made the smirk on his face spread into a true smile. He took a step back towards the closet, bending slightly at the waist so that he was eye level with the Hyuuga.
"If you keep looking like that I'll never let you out of here." He said in a low voice and pressed what was meant to be a quick kiss against her pouting lips.
The kiss lasted for much longer than either of the two had anticipated and would have likely lasted for longer if they hadn't been interrupted. The bell ringing alerted the teens that they would soon have company and was likely the only reason why they broke apart. Soon the hallway filled with students spilling out of their classrooms and the dual screens in Tsunade's office went dark.
Inside of the office, Fugaku was repeatedly slapping his hand on the conference room table and laughing, no cackling, at the way the situation had played out. He was less than pleased that his son was with a Hyuuga. In fact, he would prefer Sasuke was gay than to be with a snobby Hyuuga girl but the look on Hiashi's face was absolutely priceless. He couldn't help but take amusement at his rival's misery.
"How could you let something atrocious like this happen!" Hisashi demanded furiously and Tsunade just rolled her eyes. "She shouldn't be allowed anywhere near that- that- trash!"
'I shouldn't be anywhere near sober right now.' She grumbled mentally.
"Other kids do stuff like that all the time in this school, just because they're your children doesn't mean I shouldn't let them be together. The only problems I have with them are their arguments, which always manage to damage school property and disrupt the classroom." Tsunade explained but her logical reasons didn't pacify the Hyuuga and Uchiha. "They keep getting themselves kicked out of class, mostly on purpose mind you. It's going to start impacting their grades-"
"This is absolutely ridiculous! I'm going down to that classroom this instant and taking my daughter out of this godforsaken school!" Hisashi roared as he made his way towards the door.
"Afraid that my boy will find someone better than your precious heiress? Your little mouse is certainly not my first choice for my son. By all means, feel free to unenroll her." Fugaku yawned and Hisashi glared at him like he wanted nothing more than to slit the man's pale throat. He had spawned the demon who dared to defile his daughter.
"No. I'm just making sure my daughter doesn't catch anything from that gay playboy of a son you have." Hiashi sneered lighting a fire to the Uchiha's notoriously short fuse.
As expected, Fugaku jumped out of his seat immediately and lunged for Hiashi across the table only to be held back by a laughing Minato. The blonde found this entire situation hilarious of course, like father like son.
"No one's going to leave this room! No one is unenrolling!" Tsunade snapped and with an authoritative glare so deadly both men cowered back into their seats. "Now pay attention dammit."
The 'adults' reluctantly turned their attention back to the television to see their children back in class although this time they were in a new classroom filled with maps of the world. Hiashi grimaced as he watched Sasuke impede Hinata from sitting next to Kiba. He didn't like the boy being anywhere near his daughter, especially not after what he'd just heard. Kiba was unfazed by the Uchiha's jealous nature and instead pulled out a small ball of fur from his bag that had been making it shake earlier. A little cream colored puppy barked happily now that it had been released and licked the Inuzuka's face emphatically. Instantly many of the girls in the class surrounded Kiba and the puppy, pressing against him so that they could get a better look at the bundle of cuteness in his arms.
"Oh! He's getting so big!" A busty brunette cooed as she pressed up against Kiba's arm.
The teen looked as though he was in heaven as he stroked the top of the puppy's head. Everyone knew that the best way to get girls was through babies and animals. Combining those two things only made it that much easier! Baby animals were every woman's kryptonite.
"Careful now!" Kiba grinned at the fawning girl by his side. "Akamaru's a heartbreaker."
Back in the office, Tsume looked as though she were about to have a heart attack. Before the woman tried to escape the office like the other parents, Tsunade motioned for Shizune to hand the poor woman Kiba's file. Inside was documentation of all the animals Kiba had smuggled into the school. While the boy had a penchant for bringing in dogs, he'd brought everything from snakes to parrots to school inside of his bag. Once, he'd even smuggled in a baby goat. Sometimes he was able to keep a handle on the animals. Most of the time he couldn't and those times had led to a school-wide hunt to get the animals back into his possession.
'This...' Tsunade thought miserably.
"Hey! Asuma's coming!" A student warned from the doorway.
'Was one of those times.'
Students immediately dispersed away from Kiba and in the process, he lost his hold on the squirming puppy. The tiny animal named 'Akamaru' jumped from his master's arms just as Asuma walked into the classroom. Akamaru disappeared quickly to find shelter between the legs and bags of the other students. Panicked, Kiba began to look for him.
"Sit down Inuzuka." Asuma said dryly.
"But-"
"Class has begun. Sit down."
Kiba bit the inside of his cheek to keep from talking back and took the empty seat next to Shikamaru who was sleeping once again. Asuma slammed his hand on the table in front of the sleeping teen who merely opened his lazy eyes, unbothered by the loud noise. For a solid minute, the two stared at each other unblinkingly until Shikamaru finally gave in and sat upright in his chair.
"Troublesome." He mumbled under his breath and crossed his arms over his chest.
Asuma moved on down the aisle to where Naruto was sitting with his hands behind his head and leaning back precariously in his chair. The older man glared and righted the chair much to the blonde's displeasure. He then snatched Ino's phone from her lap and confiscated Choji's bookbag full of snacks. He continued removing all classroom infractions until finally all of the students were at least pretending to be ready to learn.
In the office Tsunade shook her head, it shouldn't take this much effort to get the students to act right. All they had to do was come in and put their asses in a chair. Even when Asuma began his lecture, half of the student didn't bother to open their textbooks. It wasn't long before Naruto got bored and started shooting spitballs at the back of Choji's head and Kiba kept ducking under his desk to wave dog treats around. Hinata was at least attempting to follow along with Asuma's lecture but the way she kept fidgeting in her chair showed the difficulty she was having. The source of her distress? Karin Uzumaki who kept trying to reach forward to run her fingers down Sasuke's back.
"Your son is disgusting." Hiashi spat as he seethed in his chair.
"Isn't that your niece?" Shikaku Nara asked Kushina dryly, cutting into the impending feud between the Uchiha and Hyuuga.
The two men were going to rip each other's throats out before the day was over. Shikaku's eyes slid away from the screen to observe the occupants of the room in an attempt to vainly to ignore his own twitching fingers. He'd been locked in this room with these people for only two class periods and already he was jonesing for a cigarette. He needed something to distract him before he lost his mind from their petty antics. Kushina tapped her index finger against her chin and narrowed her eyes in thought. She hadn't seen her niece in years, not since she bit Naruto on one of their playdates. That little red-headed menace would have gotten the snot kicked out of her if Minato hadn't intervened. She hadn't seen the girl since that day. Good riddance too. Now here she was sitting in her son's class and clearly more preoccupied with getting the Uchiha boy's attention than actually learning anything.
"Yea." Kushina finally sighed as Karin tugged on Sasuke's shirt. "That's her."
Sasuke scooted up in his chair to get a little bit more out of Karin's reach but he didn't have much room for escape. Hinata sat as straight as a rod as the redhead continued to have her way with him uninterrupted until the bell rang for class to end. As soon as it did, Sasuke stood right up out of his seat and grabbed his book bag as well as Hinata's.
"Sasuke." Karin purred, her words slightly muffled since it was Sasuke's mics that were picking up her voice. The girl boldly reached out to the Uchiha and began tugging on one of the belt loops on the back of his pants. "I think I missed a few things while Asuma was talking. Wanna compare notes?"
"No." Sasuke replied flatly. "Let's go Hyuuga."
Hinata didn't look at anyone as she closed her textbook, which she'd barely read anyway, and stood up from her chair to follow Sasuke's lead. Karin pouted as the two ravens departed quickly from the classroom. She crossed her arms over her chest as she ground her teeth together. Sakura also wore a similar expression as she watched the two leave but at least she had Ino to comfort her. The blonde laid a heavy hand on her friend's shoulder and flashed her a cheeky grin.
"Karin sure lays it on thick huh?" Ino said and Sakura shrugged her hand off her shoulder.
"I just don't get it." She pouted.
"Get what?"
"Why does he even like her? What does she have that I don't?"
Ino looked her disappointed friend up and down before simply shrugging her shoulders.
"Well, for one thing, breasts."
Sakura gasped at Ino's insinuation and protectively covered her own less endowed chest with her arms.
"That's so gross Ino!" Sakura hissed.
"I forgot you don't have gym with us 'miss advanced organic chemistry' bleh."Ino teased and suggestively began groping the air with her perfectly manicured hands. "You've never seen her in the locker room but Hinata is tits city. Her ass is bigger than yours too. It's no wonder Sasuke can't keep his hands off of her."
"Did someone say ass?" Naruto grinned as he made his way over to where Ino and Sakura were sitting.
"Go away Naruto!" Sakura shouted as her face turned red from embarrassment. "Sasuke's not like that Ino! You're just a perv."
"I'm only calling it as I see it. Plus how would you know if Sasuke is a perv or not?"
"Sasuke's the biggest perv I know. Almost as bad as Sai." Naruto interjected, his smile becoming wider. "You haven't seen the stack of porn he has under his bed!"
Ino and Naruto both devolved into a fit of immature laughter and rude hand gestures at Sakura's expense. The pink haired girl stood up so fast that her chair fell backward with a loud bang onto the floor. She pushed past the laughing blondes and marched out of the now empty classroom. As the door to the room opened and shut, Akamaru used the opportunity to race between Sakura's legs and find his way to puppy freedom in the halls.
"Was it something we said?" Naruto blinked just as the bell rang for the next class to begin.
"Shit we're late!" Ino hissed and started scrambling to try to gather her things but Naruto stopped her.
"How much do you really care about geography?" He said mischievously and wiggled his eyebrows.
Inside of the office, Kushina was praying that Naruto wasn't going to do what she thought he would. Yet her prayers went unanswered as he and Ino skipped off to god knows where but certainly not to class. A chill ran down her spine as she felt the eyes of Inoichi Yamanaka burning holes into her skull.
"Why are the students allowed to roam so freely through the halls?" Inoichi asked through clenched teeth.
"They aren't allowed to roam free." Tsunade said as calmly as she could. "We have sent multiple letters to all of your homes with records of their tardies and absences. Their detention forms all come back signed by you but I imagine none of you looked carefully enough to notice just what they were shoving under your noses. That's if the forms made it to you at all."
"Are you trying to say we're bad parents?" Kushina snapped while Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose.
'Yes...yes I am.' The blonde woman thought but kept her composure. She was still dean of the school so she had to act like it.
"Clearly if your son had been raised better through his life he wouldn't be failing all of his classes and he wouldn't be dragging Ino down with him." Inoichi growled and Kushina jumped up to her feet at his insinuation.
"He's not failing all of his classes!" She shouted defensively but the blonde man only rolled his eyes.
"Oh, I forgot. He's got a C in history."
"Well, I for one blame the poor influences that are allowed to attend this school." Hiashi sneered, not taking his eyes off of Fugaku. "Everyone knows that one bad apple spoils the bunch."
"Tch." Fugaku grunted. "My son is a much better catch than anything you could possibly arrange for your weak little daughter."
"Ha! My daughter could have a million suitors at our doorstep within twenty-four hours if she wanted to but she is much more respectable than that demon you call a son. He's nowhere near good enough for someone with her upbringing."
"All of you just shut up!" Mikoto shouted, looking as though she were on the verge of pulling her hair out. "You are all behaving worse than the children. You're at each other's throats and too worried about who to blame!"
"Yea." Shikaku said drolly as he twirled a pen between his agitated fingers. "You should be more worried about becoming grandparents."
Suddenly the office became filled with the sound of several sets of teenage giggles. Tsunade watched sympathetically as her assistant Shizune pressed her body against the door, steeling herself against the physical barrage of parents trying to claw their way out of the conference room.
To be continued...