He wanted to leave and head back to the safety of the Cullen household from the moment that they first arrived at the small high school. The ever changing and almost fluid emotions of the teenagers that he was now surrounded with attacked him from all sides. Tearing precious conscious thought away from controlling his baser urges and forcing him to use it to keep his gift under control.
With a deep breath he sent out a sense of calm towards those around him. Feeling his power as it spread through the air around him he relaxed his rigid posture from the backseat of Emmetts jeep. The turbulent and rowdy crowd now calmed down significantly from what they had been. He could tell from the look at was being sent his direction by Edward that he was fully aware of what had happened and immensely grateful. Perhaps hearing the thoughts of the aforementioned herds of students was almost worse in a way than feeling their emotions.
Alice giggled next to him, her giddiness was so strong that he could almost feel it. If he focused on her emotions enough he could almost ignore those coming from other sources. But nothing could completely block them from him. It was as unfortunate as it was a gift, as needed as it was useless.
The moment he stepped out of the car it was worse, like an invisible forcefield that had been surrounding him was ripped away. Alice was by his side in seconds, wrapping her small arm around his, sending him a reassuring look. He felt nothing but affection and confidence from her, and perhaps he should take note of that.
The amount of humans surrounding him was something he was unaccustomed too and not nearly close to comfortable with. He pulled the collar of the black sweater Alice had insisted he wear higher, ensuring that the scars on his neck were completely covered as the humans began to pass by. Not stopping but clearly gawking as they passed at the unfamiliar group of students in the parking lot.
He could hear their heartbeats, the blood rushing through their veins as they walked. Some slightly rushing as they ran to meet up with friends, others calmly making their way towards the buildings with a subdued air about them. It seemed to him that the modern day schooling environment was not a peaceful one and he had to wonder what Alice found so enjoyable about it. Surely teenagers were not so fascinating that just being around them could entertain you for days on end.
He heard a snort from behind him and saw Edward making his way around the front of his silver Volvo. The expression on his face and the subtle signs of amusement in his body language explained the sudden noise as a reaction to humor. And a slight nod in his direction showed that his thoughts had been the reason for it.
He was almost ready to bolt back to the vehicle when Alice began to walk forward, pulling him along with her. Steeling his nerves he began to take slow steps forward and nearly stopped breathing as they entered the main walkway towards the building.
People were staring, pointing. He could hear their whispers as they walked past. Rumors already beginning to float around the schoolyard at the presence of strangers. It was not a surprise to find out that they were the odd ones out, they usually were in this kind of town. Small and filled with people who had known each other for their entire lives it was a rare occurrence for someone knew to show up. Much less five people that they had never seen before.
It was this way at every other place that they had lived as well, spoken word making its way around the area. He heard Carlisle's name said several times amongst the sea of youthful onlookers. Curiosity was the main emotion of those around them, followed closely by suspicion. He could not fault them for these feelings, it was only natural to have some sort of trepidation towards those that are naturally your predators, even when you don't consciously realize it. Your instincts were harder to tune out than you would think.
It was near impossible for him to focus on his thoughts when around this many people. The constant and fluid stream of emotions as well as urge to attack took over most of the thought in the forefront of his mind. All of his concentration was going towards keeping himself in check and this fact was not lost upon his four companions.
Emmett was walking very closely behind him, not enough to cause suspicion or raise any questions, but just enough that he'd have a fighting chance of stopping him. He could not blame them for their caution. Despite having lived successfully around humans for almost seventy years now he could still very easily slip and attack, old habits died hard, especially when the burn in his throat was almost painful.
He was beginning to doubt Alice's assurance that he was ready for this the closer they got to the assembly hall. He was alright now, where the air dispelled a certain amount of the humans natural aroma before it could reach his senses. Though unsure and not completely willing to test how well he would respond to being trapped in a room with minimal air circulation with them.
Alice tugged on his arm softly, just enough pressure to get his attention. She was smiling at him, her lips parted slightly as she took in his face. She knew the pain he was in, no doubt, she had experienced it as well. Though perhaps not to the same extent. However she still understood and he appreciated the encouragement, even though he did not completely believe it himself.
She leaned up slightly and he bent down to her level, the height difference leaving several inches between them still. It would have been comical if the way she was gripping his arm could be seen as anything other than sisterly.
"You'll do fine Jazz. You've made up your mind not to hurt any of them. I would have seen something if it was going to go wrong." And this was true, but did little to relieve him of his nerves.
Alice's ability to see the future was both a blessing and a curse in his eyes and her own as well. Though it provided much needed insight at times there were things she wished she did not know that her foresight showed her. As she had very earnestly told him once, the future was meant to be undecided and a path taken on our own. We should not know too much about it or we might be tempted to change our path in life and use the knowledge that we have against others.
He knew it was an uphill battle for her to keep some things to herself, especially when it involved a member of the family. But she understood that some things needed to happen and that it was not her choice to change these things. Others deserved to make their own mistakes and face their own consequences, even when it broke her heart to watch it happen knowing she could have stopped it.
She gripped him tighter as they walked through the gray metal doors that lead to the assembly hall. Students and faculty were already seated on the bleachers and in the few chairs provided as they prepared for the principle to begin his school year introduction speech.
As the doors clanged shut behind them everything crashed into his senses at once. It was as close to sensory overload that he imagined a vampire could get. The smells made his nose strain and the sounds were assaulting his ears. He could hear every little thing that was happening in the room around him, from the soft humming of the older lady with gray hair that was seated on the right hand side of the platform to the repetitive clicking of a teenage boys pencil less than fifteen feet away.
But worse than this was the constant low thrum of heartbeats throughout the room. Some people were excited and nervous, causing a delicious flush to pull at their cheeks. Others seemed bored as they made idle conversation with people seated around them. He pulled his face tight and attempted to keep from grimacing as they made their way closer to the group of students.
He felt venom pool in his mouth as they sat down in seats on the front row. Alice directly to his right and Emmett to his left, he crossed his arms and made a great effort to focus on anything other than the sound of blood flowing through the veins of the pale skinned brunette girl sitting behind him.
With great control he tried to stop himself from licking his lips. Forcing himself to swallow the venom he closed his eyes and sat rigid, back straight against the plastic chair. He felt a tap on his shoulder and he leaned in Alice's direction yet again. Her tinkling laugh sounded in his ear softly, he focused on the sound of her voice.
"Jazz, nothings gonna happen. You won't hurt them." Her words were a source of comfort. But he could still not allow himself to let his guard down. The slightest lapse in control on his part could be the death of anyone in this room.
"Come on man, you gotta trust yourself more." Emmett slapped him on the shoulder hard enough to jerk him forward a few inches. With a grunt he acknowledged the words and action but still didn't trust himself to be vocal around so many people. It would be awhile before he was able to hold conversation and take his attention off the world around him with this many distractions.
The sound of a throat clearing brought his eyes to the front of the room. A middle aged and slightly grayed man was standing on the platform in front of the students, to his credit only looking slightly uncomfortable at the prospect of what he was about to do. He knew from experience that garnering the focus of wayward youth was a particularly tiresome task.
"Hello students of Forks high school. As you know, I am your principle. This group of people sitting to my right are your teachers and sports coaches. We wanted to let you know that we are looking forward to this next year of teaching and guiding you all towards your upmost potential..." The mans voice was bored, and judging from the inattentive emotions of those around him he was more than likely recusing the same speech he had used for years.
The speech continued on for several more minutes, covering many topics of discussion that he would have thought were common sense. But as Emmett was fond of saying, teenagers these days did not have much of that. He guessed that modern convenience had softened people over time and caused a lack for serious work on the part of many adolescents. And it wasn't like having this many congregate in one place could be done without some sort of incident, from his meager memories he could recall that he had been known to kick up a ruckus occasionally when his friends were involved.
The world was truly different these days, and he had gotten to watch it change. Not that he had paid particular attention in the years leading up to his meeting with Alice. Even since then, though, the way that people lived had changed drastically from what it was. Social standards were an ever present detail, but what they entailed was ever changing. Those he had paid attention too, because it was needed to know what to act like when hunting your prey in a certain environment.
Those were times past, a different person as he looked back on them. He almost couldn't reconcile the monster in those memories with the person that he saw in the mirror these days. He had changed, become more civil in his mannerisms and actions, adopted a lifestyle that allowed him to live with only the guilt of the past. Some things never wanted to leave your mind though.
The end of the speech caught his attention as they dismissed the students, who promptly began to file out of the building and towards their first classes. Collective groups of groans caught his attention as he heard the first students out the door begin to mumble complaints about the rain that had started to fall in the last few minutes.
This was not uncommon weather for Forks, as he had been informed by Carlisle before they moved here. The small town received rain almost year round, and when it wasn't rain it was a thick cloud cover. Perfect weather for those who can't roam in the sunlight he thought wryly.
Standing up he once again had his arm taken by Alice as she started toward the door. She pulled him along and he allowed her too, wondering how she had wormed her way so deep into his heart despite his initial resistance towards the friendship she wanted to establish between now. And now, well now he simply could not imagine his life without her light to drag him out of the past.
The short young woman who was pulling him swiftly down a pathway while weaving between the students knew him better than anyone else ever had. Just like she knew that he did not trust himself around this many people and as such she was guiding him, pulling him along towards their end destination.
He was not certain which classes he was in, but he knew that Esme had spoken to the school and made it so that he and Alice shared all their classes together. It was not like he was particularly anxious to get a high school education, he had already read most of the material and more than likely had been alive for many of the events in their history books. One would be surprised how much you can learn about the world when you have an almost unlimited amount of time and the drive to learn.
Alice stopped in front of building number four, he stepped in front of her and opened the door. A group of young school girls were following shortly behind and he maintained his grip on the handle to keep it open for them. They looked surprised and happy as they walked through, blushing and nearly whispering a thank you in his direction without actually meeting his eyes. Understanding their emotions went a long way in this and as he let the door slip closed he sent a nod in their direction, enjoying the happy chatter elicited by their reaction.
Positive emotions had always been his favorite reactions to get from people in the recent years, one could say he almost got a high when someone was elated enough. Perhaps that was why he felt less despondent than he had anticipated during the last hour.
Though he strained to close off his mind as they entered the small classroom. The space between people and the amount of clear air was noticeably less than in the assembly hall. It caused their smells to be much more potent and their heartbeats to echo in his ears. Grinding his teeth together he sat down in the chair closest to the wall, putting as much space between himself and the nearest human as possible.
He held his breath, calming himself down from the impending loss of control he could feel building. The burning in the back of his throat was growing steadily stronger, but it wasn't near unmanageable yet. Though it did cause discomfort, and he found himself doing something he had never seen another vampire do, fidgeting.
Desperate to keep his mind busy he was alternating between listening to the introduction to their English course and systematically doing a motion with some part of his body. When he started with the finger tapping he noted a slight chuckle from next to him and looked over out of the corner of his eyes to see Alice looking at him in amusement.
It was odd to have the burning in his throat and to be unable to satisfy it. Every instinct that he had was telling him to jump over the table and sink his teeth into the neck of the girl sitting in the row in front of them. Denying himself had never been something he'd forced himself to do when in the presence of the very thing he was accustomed to avoiding. His thoughts were getting steadily closer to the edge.
That girl really did have a wonderful smell. Her lightly tanned skin spoke of some possible native american or foreign bloodline. She smelled like a rustic mix of honey and pine needles, heavenly and sweet and delicious. He forced another mouthful of venom down his throat as he pondered over how it would feel to just have a few drops of her blood cascade down his throat.
Alice would not be able to stop him, he knew this, as he licked his lips when the girl flipped her hair over her shoulder. The black locks fell back over the firm skin on the back of her neck, but he could hear her pulse now. He could almost feel what it would be like to have her heart steadily pumping the blood through her body and towards the open wound as he sucked her dry. It would be glorious, to be able to just have his mouth on her neck. The temptation was growing by the second.
A hand clasped his shoulder and pulled him back firmly against the chair seat. That was when he realized that he had subconsciously moved forward to get a better vantage point of his pray. A wave of shame hit him as he came back to himself, now fully aware of how far his mind had been traveling down the wrong path.
If he could cry, he probably would. The pity emanating from Alice was almost palpable. She tried to understand why he had such a hard time, but she really could not. Having not tasted human blood before she could not fully comprehend how hard it was to stay away from it. He felt similar to the drug addicts that he used to feed off of, desperately craving something and unable to have it as he forced himself to attempt to be sober.
The hand was left on his shoulder, grounding him, and he decided to focus on the teachers voice for the rest of the class. It was the same rules for writing English and the basics that he had known for almost his entire life, but it was something to draw him away from other trains of thought. He had decided long ago that he wanted to commit himself to this lifestyle, and he was not going to relapse now.
Lunch was not a more pleasant experience than the assembly hall had been. As a matter of fact, he noted that it was quite possibly worse. Without the teachers present the students were free to talk and yell and worry themselves about anything that they so felt the need as loud as they wanted too. He was able to hear every word of every conversation and wished desperately that ear plugs would work on him.
The others were making quiet conversation amongst themselves, avoiding the obvious elephant that was present in the room. They made light commentary on the behavior of the people around them and skipped back and forth from topic to topic. Edward answering unspoken questions and Alice announcing things before people even knew what they were going to ask in the first place. It was a homey feeling of companionship that he was not used to having anywhere except for the Cullen household.
Emmett was being particularly loud today, boisterous as per his usual behavior, talking vibrantly about listening to the newest music that was supposed to be coming out soon. Or other menial topics that allowed him to focus on the cadence of his voice. It was not long before he felt the anxious emotions of someone as they approached the table that they were sitting at.
Still uncertain he refrained from looking over his shoulder at the approaching person. The sound of their heartbeat growing closer, feet tapping against the tile floor in a pattern. The steps were soft, but not entirely confident. Whomever this was was unsure of themselves and the group of people that they were approaching. He was almost tempted to smile at the nervousness, it was an emotion humans often had when around him and his adoptive siblings.
"Excuse me?" Her voice was polite. The reactions of everyone at the table differed from one another.
Alice smiled and placed locked her arms around his, supplying him with a sense of security that he never failed to feel around her. Emmett was replying in his usual loud tone, friendly but not entirely welcoming, at least not to those who didn't know him. Edward and Rosalie stared, both looking at the girl as if they wanted her to merely disappear back to where she came from.
The temptation to snort in amusement was strong as he felt what little confidence the girl had drain away. It was disheartening as he heard her begin to stutter and shake slightly, the fear she was letting out almost made him want to snap at his siblings. It was a strange mix of emotions that had him jumping from one high to another, slightly annoying but nothing to be worried about at this point in time. He would just have to work on blocking out other peoples emotions better.
An obvious growl came from across the table, too low for the girl to hear but loud enough for the vampires in the room to notice. He lifted his eyes from the location they had been staring at and moved his gaze to Rosalie. She was outright glaring at the teenager that was still awkwardly making conversation with Emmett. The emotions she was letting out would have given him a headache if they could. Her possessiveness and annoyance was only growing the longer that the girl, Jessica he noted was her name, stood at the edge of their table.
Alice was still gripping his arm, and he steadfastly held his gaze on the table. Still unwilling to interact beyond the necessary. The amount of blood in his near vicinity was making it hard enough as it was. The brief reprieve he got whenever someone opened the door and let in a burst of fresh air was short lived.
Lost in his own thoughts he contemplated how long it had been since he was able to be around a human without draining them dry. The urge to attack and feed had been cultivated in the early years of his life as a vampire, he had been encouraged to become feral and take his victims of choice whenever he wanted. Living without guilt or remorse for the lives that he was taking at this point.
His thoughts traveled back to a time when things were much simpler, but also so much harder to withstand. He knew he had reached a point where he honestly deserved to be punished with death. But he had never been able to receive this form of punishment, so he always put himself in the line of fire as his feelings began to get the better of him. His pain and shame had eaten away at him slowly until he had been nothing left but a shell of his former self.
For ninety years he had lived like that, savage and deplorable all because he had forgotten what it meant to be human. He could almost taste the blood of the humans he had killed in those years still on his lips. The burning in the back of his throat intensified as he kept walking back down memory lane, wanting nothing more than to focus on the sins of the past.
Trapped within his own memories he failed to notice when Jessica left the table. Eyes closed now he felt as shame took over as the primary emotion in his system. Amplified by the feelings of the now retreating girl he felt someone shake his shoulder. Placing his head in his hands he bent over the table, ignoring the words of the people around him in favor of his own warring emotions. Spiraling downward farther and farther away from the present he gripped his hair as his breathing became ragged.
Placing his forehead on the table he hardly noticed the difference between the temperature of it and his forehead. Struggling to maintain some amount of coherency he failed to be aware of the actions of the students around him. The around of the bell ringing didn't register and when the people started rushing by on their way to the next class he forced himself to stop breathing completely. Trying to keep his head clear from the bloodlust that was growing ever stronger in the back of his mind and slowly starting to push rational thought aside.
He needed to get out of here, and quickly, he was not going to last much longer at this rate. He refuses to have an innocent person die because he wanted to test his limits. If anyone would understand this it was Alice and he knew without a doubt that he needed to go home.
"Jasper, can you respond to me?" Rosalie, her voice broke through the fog. But he did not have the control needed to do anything more than raise his left hand in acknowledgment.
"Emmett and I are going to stay here with you while Alice gets you excused for the rest of the day." He understood this, wanted to yell in frustration at his own weakness. But his jaw was clenched shut against the words and the venom pooling faster and faster. Choking on his own fear for the life of someone else he hoped desperately that Alice would get back soon. He needed her anchoring hold on him to keep him from losing the meager amount of control he was somehow maintaining.
It felt like hours before Alice got back, gripping his shoulder tightly yet again. He was beginning to wonder if this was going to become a pattern with her. Eyes closed he focused completely on the feeling of her guiding him silently towards the far entrance of the cafeteria, away from the majority of students.
The ride back to the Cullen house was awkward and filled with a stiff silence. He was turned looking out the passenger side window of Edward's Volvo, and steadfastly maintained his tense posture. Alice was more relaxed, but seemed to be catering to his slightly childish mood by not saying anything.
Even though he knew he was acting far more juvenile about this than he should, he could not stop the shame that was rushing through his system. He wanted nothing more than to disappear and hide away, they had all thought he'd had a handle on it this time. But yet, he had to go and prove them wrong by losing control that much in the middle of lunch.
All the girl had done was stand four feet away from him and talk, but with the sensory overload it had been too much. For whatever reason he could not shake this, he felt almost like an addict depriving themselves of their next fix. It hurt like hell to hold himself still and not jump someone in that food court.
"The official cover story is that you had a panic attack from the noise." He was grateful for the excuse, but wished deep down that it was an unnecessary precaution. Though he doubted that Carlisle would stop him from going back to the high school the next day, he knew that the panic attack was the perfect cover if he needed to take a few days away.
As they turned onto the loose gravel drive that lead to the house he relaxed slightly. The familiar encasement of tree coverage and thick foliage relaxing him near instantly. He could feel it as the steel wired muscles beneath his skin loosened from their tensed state, no longer holding him rigid in the seat of the car.
Alice noticed this, smiling slightly to herself, despite the situation at hand. She knew that Jasper felt much more at home in the forest than he did out in the open, it was another thing distilled in him from his self imposed years of solitude. It always eased her consciousnesses to see him relax and no longer hold himself as though he was waiting for something to go wrong. It pained her to see the ever present readiness that he always had around him.
She knew that he had sensed her abrupt change in emotions when a feeling of calm and serenity washed over the car. It was similar to the feeling of complete peace she got whenever she was trapped in a particularly good vision and that was as close to dreams as she got. But it was also different in a very vital and heart breaking way that almost made her want to cry, despite the fact that she could not exactly feel the tears pricking at the edges of her eyes.
He was something unusual, that was the common consensus amongst those who met him anyway, from what he could clearly gather in emotional form. Not many people were willing to breach the eery wall of calm and stoicism that he constantly surrounded himself with. It calmed his ever over zealous nerves to think that they were too timid to approach him, though he supposed that his reputation stood for itself and his attitude did not exactly do much to dissuade that belief.
He shamefully admitted to feeling an almost gleeful pinprick whenever someone allowed their obvious trepidation and timidness at his behavior show through. It gave him that age old instilled urge to flash a feral smile in their direction and bring them crashing down into reality with the lust for battle in his eyes that he could never quite seem to escape.
Esme had once, when it was only them in the house and waiting for the others to return home, told him that his eyes looked a certain kind of haunted. He knew that dangerous was a word that many other people would have used, lethal another and predator the most dominant descriptor of them all. He had not anticipated such a random statement that strayed far from the companionable silence they usually found between them.
The car was rolling to a halting stop and he opened the door and exited the vehicle before it even came to a complete cease in forward motion. Nonplussed by the force with which his boot clad feet had hit the ground he took off running in the opposite direction of the very thing that he craved more than anything else in the world at the moment. Running as fast and as far as he could from the looming temptation that threatened to cloud his already fragile judgement.
The world around him should have been a blur with how fast he was running. Though he could see every detail as clearly as if he was looking at it through close eyes under a microscope. Every small detail was enhanced and the colors flew by in rapid succession as he took in the world around him. Reaching out with his senses for the prey that the natural predator living inside of his mind wanted so badly.
As he reached out with his hearing and smell he could almost swear that he was something different now. It was a feeling that he had never been quite able to put into words, something primal that he often felt the need to release whenever he usually stoic temper got the better of him. It was like he was watching himself through his own eyes as he let whatever entity that the vampire venom and years of conditioning had placed under his skin have control.
He knew that they never quite understood, the others. Because they had all had lives so vastly different from his after they were turned by Carlisle. They had all had something to cling too, a string of humanity to hold together the pieces and fragmented memories of their past selves and reconcile them with the new life they were expected too lead.
That was something he had never had the opportunity to do for himself, nobody had cared enough and he never knew that you could not be a monster. As such he had embraced himself and sought to push the man, Jasper Whitlock, as far back into his mind as possible. Allowing him to become something different, harder and much more dangerous.
Alice had changed all that he was willing to admit, that day in the diner. She had attacked every little barrier that he used to keep himself locked away and the beast in full control. It had been a long time coming, he guessed, that she would start to pull the sides of him back together from where he was coming apart at the seams. He could not quite make himself let go of these urges though and completely merge the two back together again, he doubted he could reconcile the southern gentleman with the blood thirsty monster.
Taking the back seat he allowed instincts to lead the way as he took off in the direction of a delicious smell. There was something about the lure of a mountain lion that brought him in. It was almost like human, just slightly more tangy he would describe it. And without that sweet aftertaste that he had learned to enjoy greatly in his time with Maria.
Stalking behind the animal silently he bared his teeth, venom dripping from where it had coated the inside of his mouth, and growled at the animal. It turned and looked at him in alarm before releasing a guttural cry of its own, anger and challenge evident in its eyes as it sized him up.
He smiled, feral and dangerous, waiting for the lion to make its move to attack. Giving into instincts when it lurched forward towards him in a leap, he allowed it to bring him down and press him to the ground, where the landed in the dirt with a loud thump. Claws dug into his shirt and tore holes down it as the animal brutally attacked his shoulders. Fabric gave way, but the lion gave another angered sound as its claws scraped against skin as hard as iron that didn't move.
The laughter that boomed in the air obviously startled the creature as it reared backwards with a low sound of warning. He craved to dominate the lion that was stalking its way around him now, observing its fellow predator and becoming accustomed to Jaspers scent.
All too quickly it charged him again, bringing their game of cat and mouse into ita final stages. Reaching his arms out he clasped the shoulders of the animal as it wrapped its jaw around his neck in a feeble attempt to gain the advantage. It was completely unaware of the danger that it was now placing itself in.
With great pleasure he used his strength to roll them over, tossing the lion onto the ground. Dirt and foliage went flying as they wrestled, Jasper enjoying the look of fear in the animals eyes as it realized that it was not going to win this fight. Holding it down with his arms he pressed it into the ground with all his strength, reveling in the feeling of bones and ligaments snapping beneath his hands. The sound echoed through the forest as the lion released a whimper noise.
His mind cut out as he growled and locked his mouth on to the neck of the great animal beneath him. The smooth feeling of warm blood flowing down his throat as the lions heart struggled to continue to push it through its veins. The feeling of intense thirst lessoned as he drained the animal, the blood tasted almost salty. It was tangy and bitter and just this side of delicious, but it did wonders to ease the burning feeling in the back of his throat.
Not conscious of what he was doing, he gripped the lion tighter as he messily drained the blood from its body. Splatters of red escaped in small droplets that found their way onto his torn shirt and ripped up jeans. After having drained the animal dry he disposed of the carcass and began walking at a human pace through the forest, still not completely in control of himself.
The sun was beginning to set before he bothered to begin to make his way back towards their residence. He had been wandering aimlessly in the throes of the woodland area for what he could imagine was hours, though it seemed like mere minutes. He had been entranced by the dead silence that took over the area as he passed through, the living beings ceasing to make any noise as he walked, sensing danger was near. But they could not hide the rampant beating of their hearts in fear and he almost couldn't fight his own urge to kill.
He had given in several more times before he had come across the small clearing that was, he knew, about three miles away from the house. The trees parted and he was left in the middle of a meadow, about forty feet in diameter, with a small pond nestled in the middle beneath the giant branches of an oak tree that hung down to shade the area around it.
Walking up to the pond he noted how the tadpoles and small animals that inhabited it got as far away from him as the small area would allow. Chuckling lightly to himself in a bitter way he looked at his own reflection in the water, only slightly disturbed by the wind that was blowing across the field.
He truly was something to behold at the moment, every bit as monstrous on the inside as he was on the outside at the moment. It brought a self conscious emotion too his chest as he took in the thing before him, not recognizing himself. Blood was dried around the edges of his mouth and lines had dripped down his neck. Where his shirt was shredded and stained red, his jeans were smudged with blood and dirt from the scuffle in the woods. His hair matted, having been whipped by the wind and messed up in the various hunts he'd partaken in.
Perhaps the worst was his eyes, they looked absolutely deadly in the evening light. Staring back at him with golden iris's and edges that were tinged black with the remnants of his hunger. They almost glowed the orange lighting of dusk as the darkness grew closer. With an unnecessary sigh he headed back towards the house after shaking his head with disgust, he'd lost control of himself again.
The days continued on much like the first at Forks high school, though thankfully he never had to make a grand escape again. But the others still watched him very closely, keeping their ever diligent eyes on his actions no matter what he was doing. The world kept spinning and he just went with the motions as they presented themselves to him.
Days blurred together as they continued on in the same tedious manner. Fall soon turned into early winter as the leaves were almost completely gone from the trees and the evergreens stood tall and proud amongst their bare companions. The sun remained steadfastly hidden by the ever present looming cloud cover and nothing of consequence happened in anyones life.
Forks was, for all intents and purposes, living in the lull of the real world. Very little managed to make its way back to the rather sheltered community and cause an issue. That being said it did not exactly take much to cause the usually bored rumor mill to begin churning out some new outrageous story about one inhabitant of the community or another. Jasper had recently found himself the center of these sets of rumors after he had helped a young female classmate of his with the project that their history teacher assigned them.
So when word got around that someone new was coming too town, well that spread around like a wildfire. With the holidays approaching rapidly it was rather unusual for someone to be planning to enter a new school just two weeks before Christmas break would begin. But nothing about Bella Swan seemed to be usual from what he could gather.
Still life remained unaltered for the most part, the Cullens remained separate from from general population of the school people and in their own little world. Everything continued on in the mind numbing but slightly soothing pattern that he had become accustomed too over the last several months. That is, until the first day back from Thanksgiving break, when everything changed.
It wasn't as though it was a particularly noticeable day, the air was cold and frost was covering everything from where the rain had fallen earlier in the day. The sun was just barely peaking above the horizon from behind the clouds that were looking dark and slightly ominous as to what the weather might hold for the rest of the day.
They had just gotten out of the car when he didn't smell her, so much as he sensed that she was there. A sudden pull came over his chest in a way that he had never experienced before and it was almost like his vision had tunneled against the usually crowed parking lot and focused solely on her. Unable to look away or think coherently as he took in everything that was her.
A dark brown rain jacket was held tight against her body by shaking hands, clasping it even tighter as a shield to protect her from the biting wind. Near ink black hair was billowing in the wind, covering up parts of her face against pale skin that was almost white. She looked like something akin to an angel as she threw the heavy looking navy blue backpack over her shoulder and slammed shut the door to the old truck that she was driving.
In that one moment he knew everything would change.