It started as a simple thought, coursing through his brain one night as he lay in bed, the form of his wife tucked up beside him as he stroked his hand up and down her chest and stomach, cupping her breast in his hand as he sighed, exhaustion overwhelming him.
He still had trouble sleeping. Still fought with the demons of the framework and the future realm he had found himself in. Still sometimes felt like he was back in prison if he was left alone in silence too long. Jemma never questioned his need for physical contact, seeming to need it just as much as he did. She was often curled next to him on the sofa or had at least one hand on him whenever it was possible and socially acceptable to do so. She sighed in her sleep, squirming slightly before settling.
Fitz frowned, the flesh in his hand feeling heavier than he was used to. Careful not to rouse her, he squeezed gently, suddenly realising that his hand encompasses less of her than it normally did, fingers struggling to reach around the full curve of her. He shook his head, closing his eyes and inhaling the scent of her hair. He figured he was just more tired than he realised.
When he woke up the next morning, he was even more confused.
"Fitz!" Jemma growled, coming out of the bathroom with an unimpressed expression on her face. Blinking his eyes a few times until he could focus on her, he sat up. "What did I tell you about doing laundry?" Still half asleep, he cocked his head to the side, not understanding what she was on about until she pointed to her chest. Her breasts looked as if they were trying to spill over the cups of her bra, the fabric taut against her pale skin.
"Um? Uh… read things?" He offered lamely, mind whirring a mile a minute at the sight. He knew she hadn't worn that bra in a few weeks and that it hadn't been in the laundry the last few times he had done it. It was his favourite on her. He would have never risked shrinking it.
"Honestly," Jemma huffed, wrenching it off before going to the dresser to hunt for a different one. He watched her try on three others before finding one that fit, cursing at him the entire time about how she would need to go buy new ones. As she left their bedroom he sat up, chewing his bottom lip as he looked down at his hands. He wracked his brain, trying to think of anything he had laundered in the last few weeks and found that he couldn't remember ever putting any of her delicates in the wash without making sure to check each tag or to wash them by hand while she was at the base. He also couldn't remember the last time he had washed any of her more worn-out knickers, the ones she simply kept for when she was dealing with her period.
It was the first time he thought there was something else happening aside from his abysmal laundry skills.
XxX
He had been extremely wary of building or creating anything since they had gotten back and gotten married. He was seeing a therapist and still worked in the lab on existing designs or in repairs, but he didn't create anymore, still skittish of what could be lurking beneath his own skin. But suddenly he thought he might be able to do something, to make something, that wouldn't be harmful to anyone.
The first few sketches he made were messy and disjointed from his lack of practice; multiple sheets of paper being tossed into the bin before he managed something he actually liked. Hand trembling slightly, he pulled out the tools he would need, collecting the various types and colours of metal before sitting down at the workbench and starting to tinker away. He lost more than an hour on the small object, fingers needing to be shaken out multiple times as he worked on something so intricate. Finally satisfied, he sat back, turning it over and over in his hands, watching the light play off the varying colours.
"That's pretty," Daisy commented, coming up behind him without warning. Fitz jumped before placing it down on the counter. "What's it for?"
"Um it's… part of a Christmas present for Jemma. It's a double helix," he explained, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
"You science nerds," Daisy teased, giving his shoulder a squeeze before leaving him to tidy up after himself.
XxX
The second time he contemplated something different in Jemma was when they had a weekend off. Although they lived off base and were working on developing a proper schedule of only working five days a week, they had struggled to keep to their resolve. But having finally managed to finish everything pressing on Friday afternoon they had agreed to try and tidy the house and run some errands on Saturday.
However, it wasn't even noon when Fitz found Jemma curled at his side, her breathing soft and measured as he tried to sort through the mail and other papers that had been ignored for weeks. She had done the dishes before coming into the living room to sit next to him, not even getting through two bills with him before falling asleep.
"Jemma?" Fitz asked quietly, nudging her to no avail. Smiling down at her sleeping form, he leaned back, taking her with him until she was snuggled against his chest instead of precariously balanced on his shoulder.
The next afternoon when she was napping on the sofa, having barely been able to keep awake through the first half hour of the film they were watching, he slipped into the office and made a monkey talisman out of things he had brought home from the base, tucking the little creature into the bottom of his desk drawer before going to pick up dinner. If Jemma ate more of his preferred items from the Chinese restaurant around the corner than her own, he chose not to mention it.
XxX
The day he found her sobbing over an ASPCA commercial and asking him if they should get a dog, he tried not to smile, kissing her on the head and telling her that they were still a bit too busy to properly care for a dog but maybe in a year they could. She had nodded, burying her face in his neck until she fell asleep.
He made the constellations of Leo and Virgo that night, intertwining them with delicate metal lines and sparkling crystals.
XxX
When he came into the lab one morning to find her instantly grabbing his arm and tugging him towards the door, he thought surely she had figured it out. Surely she knew that there was something going on in her own body.
Instead, he noticed her flushed cheeks and blown pupils as she all but hauled him towards the exit.
"Jemma?"
"We need to go home."
"Why? Jem, is everything okay?" he asked, digging his heels in so as to stop her mad dash for the door. She turned to him, eyes watering slightly as she huffed, squirming on the spot.
"Fitz –" she started, chewing at her lip. He cupped her cheek, searching her face for any indication of what she was so desperate to do before she surged up to kiss him, her tongue sliding into his mouth without preamble as she pressed her body to his. Started, Fitz wrapped his arms around her back, holding her steady as she tried to back him into the wall. "Take me home. We need to have sex. Now," she muttered against his mouth.
They made love four times that afternoon, missing a call from Coulson and five texts from Daisy before Jemma passed out, her body strewn across the bed haphazardly. Fitz watched her sleep while responding to both of their coworkers via text, glad that nothing critical had happened. He couldn't help but smile at how her stomach looked just the slightest bit less toned than it had a few weeks before.
He made a miniature of the Bus that night while she slept, tucking it away with the other items in his desk.
XxX
"What are you doing for Christmas?" Daisy queried, sitting down beside Jemma as the biochemist typed away at her computer.
"Just staying in. Fitz has insisted on cooking dinner for us tomorrow," Jemma responded, finally dragging her gaze away from the computer to rub at her eyes.
"You look tired," Daisy smirked, poking at the love bite that was visible from beneath the very edge of Jemma's shirt collar.
"We've both been in the Christmas spirit. Time of giving and receiving and all that," Jemma blushed, biting her lip at her own comment. Daisy laughed, head thrown back against the shelving that she was leaning on.
"O-kay then. Right. Did you get anything for Fitz that you can share with the class without me needing to go rinse my ears out?" Jemma laughed at the comment.
"I got him a few books he's been interested in. And the new series of Doctor Who. Nothing too crazy. We both agreed not to go overboard on Christmas as we already have everything we need. After all, we have each other, finally."
"You're revoltingly and adorably in love. I'm not sure whether to squeal or to vomit," Daisy muttered, giving Jemma a quick hug. "I've gotta run. Merry Christmas Simmons."
"Happy Christmas Daisy," Jemma answered, watching the younger woman bound out of the room before checking the clock. It was nearing five and Fitz had promised to come collect her. He had chosen to stay at home on Christmas Eve, claiming that he needed to get everything ready for dinner the next night and to finish the decorating that Jemma had left half completed the previous weekend. She smiled at the memory, still confident in her assessment that making love under the fairy lights along the fireplace had been a better decision than finishing decorating the tree that Fitz had lugged home, the smell of pine filling the house.
"You ready?" His voice permeated her mind then, drawing her attention back to the present to find that she had let her mind wander for nearly 15 minutes, the clock reading 5:07PM.
"Just let me get my coat," she answered.
XxX
Jemma awoke slightly after nine on Christmas morning to find her husband watching her, propped up on one elbow with a sappy smile on his face.
"Happy Christmas," he breathed, kissing her gently, one hand laced into her hair to hold her to him. She grinned into the kiss, dragging sleepy fingers along his ribs.
"Happy Christmas," she replied, cuddling into him when they broke apart. "How long have you been up?"
"Not that long," Fitz said, "did you want to get up to open your presents or stay in bed a while longer?" She laughed.
"You're still a child," she teased, nudging him away so that she could sit up. "You've probably been up since dawn wanting to go see what Father Christmas left for you." He chuckled, shaking his head.
"Not since dawn. Maybe twenty minute ago," he admitted. He didn't tell her that he barely thought of the gifts she may have purchased for him; too consumed by the thought of her opening the one he had made for her. He wondered, vaguely, if he had been reading too much into things or if maybe she had just been waiting for Christmas to tell him. Shaking his head, he got up, telling Jemma he would meet her in the living room with tea while she padded into the bathroom.
She found him a few minutes later with their respective cups on the floor, his leg bouncing slightly despite how he was sitting criss-cross, one hand tapping against the carpet. She sat down across from him, poking his knee with her foot until he smiled, digging two packages out from under the tree, one for each of them.
She lost herself in the simplicity and domesticity of opening gifts with him, something they had done for years as friends but that now had a different feeling to it, her engagement and wedding rings catching the light of the fireplace every so often while she removed wrapping paper. While Fitz was opening everything carefully, something she knew no one would believe, she was the one tearing into the paper, leaving it scattered over her lap as she discovered books and scarves and a beautiful necklace.
"You promised we wouldn't go crazy," she muttered, noticing how he was fidgeting with one more box after everything else had been opened and placed in piles on the floor next to them.
"I know. I, um, I didn't buy this so I suppose that it doesn't count in copious amounts of commercialism," he offered, shrugging. She noticed his hand shaking slightly as he passed her the box, the object not as heavy as she was anticipating. Before she could tug at the ribbon, he covered her hand with his, drawing her attention to his face. "I'll explain it a little more when you open it, okay?" Jemma nodded, heart jumping in her chest at the words before she undid the bow, pulling the paper off until she could lift the lid on the box. She gasped when she moved the tissue paper, trembling hands lifting the delicate item.
"Fitz," she breathed, holding the mobile up. Her gaze flickered over the delicately intertwined constellations, the tiny version of the plane that brought them into the field, the double helix of DNA, the simple cartoon-like monkey, and the Tardis that spun in the middle of it, all hung from silver strands and the intricately carved arms of the central carousel.
"I... I know I might be jumping the gun, but, uh, I thought maybe we could use this. One day. In the future. I wanted the first thing I made after everything to be something good. Something special. Something for... for something filled with hope. Like... like a baby," he stammered, the words he rehearsed over and over again in his head having disappeared the minute he saw her expression as she traced each element.
"It's beautiful," she said, voice hitching as she placed it carefully back in the box before leaning forward, catching him in a kiss before she sat back, emotions playing over her features for a moment before she gasped.
"Jem?"
"Fitz," Jemma croaked, eyes filling with tears, "I don't remember the last time I had my period." Fitz laughed, his own throat suddenly tight.
"It was about two months ago," he replied, watching her eyes widen as she scrambled up from the floor in a whirlwind of discarded wrapping paper, practically darting for the door until she grabbed her keys with a curse.
"It's a bloody holiday! All the stores are closed and-"
"Jemma-"
"The lab! We can go to the lab and I can get a blood sample-"
"Jem, Love, breathe," he said, standing up to walk to her side, cupping her cheek in one hand while taking the keys away from her with the other. He smiled at her, heart squeezing from how much he loved the woman in front of him - hair escaping her braid and still in her pyjamas, nearly frantic with an unanswered question. "There are three different tests under the sink. I wasn't sure which one you would wa-" She cut him off as she threw her arms around his neck, kissing him soundly.
"I love you." She was up the stairs a moment later, the cupboard clanging open before the bathroom door slammed shut, leaving Fitz to chuckle to himself and shake his head. He looked down at his hands, noticing the way his fingers were trembling before climbing the stairs slowly. He sat on the edge of the bed, knee bouncing as he waited until he heard the toilet flush and the sink click on, the door opening a second later.
"Alright?" He asked softly.
"We have to wait five bloody minutes," Jemma muttered, coming to sit next to him and dropping her head on his shoulder. "I'm scared Fitz." Frowning, he looked down at her, kissing the top of her head as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, holding her to his chest.
"Why?"
"Because I… I really want this. I want it to be positive and what if it isn't?" She queried, snuffling slightly. He felt the telltale warmth of tears on his shirt collar, her face pressed into his neck. Adoration for her swept through him at the thought that the smarted woman he had ever met could have missed all the signs from her own body over the last six weeks.
"Do you want to know why I think it's going to be positive? I've been collecting more data than you just missing your period," he whispered. Jemma shook her head, keeping her face buried against him.
"Why?" She mumbled, keeping close to him.
"Because I caught you getting emotional over a commercial about homeless pets that I know we've seen a hundred times before but suddenly it means something different to you. And you're tired Jemma. One minute you're so excited and rushing to do things and the next you're asleep on my shoulder on the sofa. Not to mention your libido is all over the place. Do you realise we've had sex almost every night the last two weeks? We haven't been like that since we first got together. Not that I'm complaining in the slightest but it's just not the norm for us. And… well, to be frank Love, your boobs are huge." Jemma lurched back from him at the comment, eyes wide as a laugh burst out of her.
"I thought you had just shrunk that bras in the laundry!" She protested, a blush colouring her cheeks. He chuckled, shaking his head.
"Nope. That's all you." She was about to say something else when the timer on her phone beeped from the bathroom counter. Jemma whimpered, hiding her face in his neck again.
"I don't know if I can do this," she said. Fitz kissed her forehead before extracting himself from her, letting her cover her face with her hands as he padded into the bathroom to grab the test stick before coming back, kneeling before her.
"Jem," he breathed, taking her hand in his and pulling it down into her lap. "You're gonna be a Mum." She dropped her eyes to where he was still holding the test, seeing the word 'Pregnant' spread across the screen in bold letters. The hand that had been over her eyes mere seconds before fell to her mouth, a sob escaping before she launched herself off the bed and into his arms, knocking them both down onto the carpet.
"We're having a baby," she giggled in between kisses, tears streaming down her face as he clutched her to his chest.
"Best Christmas ever."