It shouldn't have hurt so much, but it did. When had she become so weak, she did not understand. She wanted to kick her own ass for letting her feelings fool her like that. She was nothing to her, and this somehow solidified that all in her mind.
Her heart was squeezing unpleasantly, like it was trying to get rid of the pain that was floating in there but it couldn't. Nothing seemed to work and her breathing was becoming labored as she tried to hold back tears. After a while she admitted failure as massive tears started to run down her cheeks and sob escaped. She was sure no one would hear her in the privacy of her car and if she was honest she did not care even if someone did. In this moment she didn't care about anything.
Watching Regina being wrapped even tighter in the arms of Robin made her sick to her stomach. She knew there was something happening that Regina wasn't telling her about but she had known from the very beginning that it was gonna hurt. And this hurt worse than anything before.
They weren't together. Not officially. But Regina knew of her feelings towards her, she was aware of the attraction Emma had for her and she had shamelessly flirted back at her. Emma had gotten the impression this was going to be something.
She wanted to wake up next to Regina every single day, to see her chocolate eyes slowly opening to a new day. She wanted to go grocery shopping together, sneak in some junk food, have Regina playfully roll her eyes without actually taking anything off the basket. She wanted to make breakfast for Regina and Henry, she wanted to make a home together.
Falling in love with Regina Mills had no been in her plans. She didn't ask for this but here she was. Watching as Robin leaned closer to Regina on her front porch. Emma had to turn away, she could not see this. It was painful enough as it was.
She had to get away. She could not stay. It felt impossible. She could not watch them together every day for the rest of her life, she could not live in the town where Regina wasn't hers. Maybe she would return one day. Maybe someday it would hurt less. At the moment it didn't seem possible but her heart was gonna kill her if she stayed.
Turning the key in the ignition she pushed her yellow car into gear. She was only staring forward, her hands holding the wheel so tightly her knuckles were turning white. It was time to go.
So intense was her stare forward that when driving off Mifflin Street, she failed to notice a brunette running after her car, yelling her name. She only stopped running when the car vanished from her sights. Tears were leaking out of chocolate eyes as her name was whispered.
Yeah, it was time to go.
Result of one Sunday evening angst in October, sorry for the delay of uploading it here as well!