Chapter 1

So apparently, death isn't the end.

I mean, sure, you draw your last breath and your heart beats a final time before you leave the world, but it isn't the end. There's life after that.

More specifically, reincarnation. A new life.

I can't really explain the specifics, because I'm still not entirely sure myself. Whether this happens to everyone or if I'm just a fluke, whether there's some sort of weird inter-dimensional algorithm that decides where and when you're born again, whether everyone else keeps their memories- it's all a mystery to me still.

But to live again is a gift, and I am going to make the most out of it.

When I die again, I don't want to have any regrets.

-x- -x- -x-

I'm floating. I think that I have been floating for a very long time, but there is no way to tell the passage of time. My eyes will not open, and my limbs are weak.

Consciousness comes slowly, trickling in like sand in an hourglass. If death is like falling asleep, then this is like waking up, the transition into awareness.

At first I think I am in a coma, but quickly squash the hope that rises, because the bomb was right beside me when it went off, and that really doesn't bode well for my survival.

I'm probably dead. Which begs the question- where the hell am I? Or rather, where is hell? Heaven?

This can't really be my own personal hell, because I could think of a lot of things worse than floating around forever. Like lizards. And torture.

There's really nothing I can do, so I shrug as well as my generally floppy body can and settle down for a nap, because it's pretty comfortable and I don't have anything else to do.

-x- -x- -x-

Time passes. Days, months, years, I can't tell.

But now something is moving, I'm moving, and something is pushing me upwards. I'm bored enough of this nothingness to help, because really, I'm already dead so what else could happen? I try to doggy paddle, but it ends up being more of a shimmy that doesn't do much, so I just lie there and wait.

I don't have to wait long, because a while later it feels like I'm being squeezed through a tube, and it hurts so bad I feel like screaming but nothing comes out and it hurtshurtshurts-

It feels like my face is frozen, because it's so cold. Sound begins to filter in, and I can hear myself screaming now. Each breath I take is ice in my lungs.

I'm sobbing, but then it's suddenly warm again, and someone is holding me. It's a young lady, with curly blue hair and pale blue eyes, and she's smiling at me even though she's pale and sweating, and her face is lined with pain.

"Shizue," she breathes. "Her name is Shizue."

I want to ask her what she's on, because that is clearly not my name, but it comes out as a coo. When I try again, I get the same result, so I reach out a hand to try and poke her face, but when my limb comes into view my jaw drops.

Because that it not my hand.

It's chubby and stubby, with tiny fingers. It's a baby's hand.

The penny drops.

I'm a baby.

So I do the logical thing and start screaming.

-x- -x- -x-

I don't cry for long, because mentally I'm nearly twenty, and living again is better than staying dead. I hope.

Before I know it, I'm left in a room with a bunch of other babies. I never see the pretty lady again.

Days pass, and I'm cared for by a procession of tired, grumpy people who aren't very helpful in my quest to figure out where exactly I am. To be fair though, it's not like I can actually ask them any questions, but it's still very annoying.

Life as a baby kind of sucks. I can't really go anywhere, I have nothing to do, no one is talking to me, and I have to suffer the indignity of pooping my pants.

Talk about a crappy situation.

Ha. I'm hilarious.

-x- -x- -x-

My eyesight still isn't very good, but it's getting better by the day. Right now, it's slightly better than my eyesight without glasses in my past life, which was sort of okay but nothing spectacular. I can't wait until I have perfect eyesight.

I don't really need it, I suppose, since I apparently have this uncanny ability to tell where people are now, but it would be nice to see properly.

So far, asides from everyone speaking Japanese, technology being worse, this strange ability to sense people before I hear or see them, and this odd pressure-heat-somethingness in the air all around and in me, this seems quite similar to my previous life.

I think I'll be fine here.

-x- -x- -x-

The week isn't even over when I realise that I was not only dead wrong, but also probably dead soon.

Great.

It all starts when three very grumpy children and a tired looking man slink into the building, which I have since decided is probably an orphanage or something like it, and hand the lady-in-charge a scroll. She harrumphs and mutters under her breath, but points out the cupboards that have all the baby supplies before stalking out of the room.

The children look horrified. They must be new babysitters.

Welcome to hell.

As if on cue, some other baby- the historically noisy one I have named 'Screechy'- starts wailing, which wakes up all the babies and makes them join in the sobbing.

I grin sadistically, even if the crying is starting to get on my nerves. If I have to live through this shit, so do you. Mwahaha.

I'm the only baby not crying by now, out of about ten others in the room, so I'm not really surprised when one of the boys makes a beeline towards me and practically flings himself into my crib in his enthusiasm.

"I'm taking this one!" He nearly sobs in relief, and he's blocking my view, which is now limited to his very unimpressive face. I'm half tempted to start crying, if only to get him away from me, but manage to restrain myself with my nearly two decades worth of patience.

Still, it's a very close thing. And if his snot drips on me, heads are going to roll.

I shift my eyes away from his abnormally large nose – I'm not really feeling very charitable at the moment, what with this great lump breathing on me- and upwards, where sunlight glints off something.

Ooh, shiny.

I stare harder.

It's some kind of metal plate sewn onto a band that this kid wears on his forehead. Fashion statement, maybe?

There's some kind of squiggly design on it, but the light is shining off at an angle that hides it. I try and scootch over a bit, but this floppy baby body isn't really good at moving around yet, so I resort to staring at the kid as hard as I can.

It makes him uncomfortable, I can tell, so I amp up the stare factor, which actually makes him shift a little.

Aha! Victory!

Now that I can see the design clearly, it looks sort of familiar. Those four squiggly lines-

"Why are you just staring at the kid?" The man appears from nowhere, his own head popping out over the boy's head. I curse his stupid crazy ninja skills, but it comes out as a squeal before – hold it.

Ninja. Anime. Naruto.

The squiggly design? Kiri.

Ooh, cosplayers! I squeal inwardly, because the man has a matching headband too. I make grabby hands, but they turn away, unwilling to indulge me.

What kind of monsters turn their back on an adorable little cupcake like myself?

As they turn to helping the other two kids try to calm the babies down, I sulk for a while before settling down.

There are two options. First, that I am actually in the Naruto world, which is so very unlikely and I'm hoping isn't true, and secondly, that the world is normal and I'm just surrounded by random cosplayers carrying out what would seem like a D-ranked mission. I'm hoping for this option. If there are Naruto cosplayers, then the Naruto manga must exist in this world. The likelihood of the manga existing in a very different world is pretty low, so this would mean the world is similar to my own, if not the same.

What shoves the answer in my face is the girl managing to set the stove on fire, and the man leaping over to make water out of nothing and put the fire out.

Water jutsu.

Oh my god.

This is the Naruto World. And of all places, I'm in freaking Kirigakure.

I start crying.

-x- -x- -x-

This is probably the first time I'm beating myself up over not reading enough manga.

Usually everyone was like, "Manga again?" or "Please go and do something productive with your time, dear," but now my survival hinges on my severely lacking knowledge of the Narutoverse, and what little I know is mostly based off fanfiction.

I'm so dead.

I smack myself in the face with a chubby fist. It doesn't hurt, but it's more the principle of the thing.

If I want to survive, I have to pull myself together and make a plan.

I start by consolidating my knowledge. I am a baby in Kirigakure. I'm not really sure, but this is probably an orphanage, so my parents are either dead or don't want me. I am unlikely to have a clan or any sort of special bloodline limit, or I wouldn't be in an orphanage with other babies that look nothing like me at all.

Some of them have purple hair. That can't be natural. Also, I conveniently ignore the fact that my own hair is blue.

Unfortunately, that's all the information I have. I don't even know what year I am in or whether there's a war going on or coming up, or whether this is the flipping Bloody Mist.

It's pretty sad.

Although this probably means that this softly growing warmth somewhere near my tummy and spreading throughout my body is probably chakra. Which is good, because I was starting to think it was me disagreeing with that crappy milk substitute they feed us or a severe case of flatulence or something.

Being able to sense where people are is probably part of this too. Chakra sensing, maybe? I could be Karin 2.0, or -1 depending on where exactly I am in the timeline. Unfortunately, I'll probably only find out in a few years.

I just have to stay alive until then.

-x- -x- -x-

The next two years weren't all that smooth sailing. Pun intended.

Being left in a crib all day with only squalling babies, a grumpy matron and parade of disgruntled genin teams isn't really conducive to development.

I managed to figure out how to roll, crawl, walk and run in short order, making sure no adult saw me do so until at least a few other children managed it.

Step 1: Blend in.

Status: Successful.

Kind of, anyway. I got a little bored and sped up a bit with learning how to read, write and speak Japanese, so I've leveled up from Neanderthal to Kindergartener. It's an improvement.

Getting used to my chakra and sensing is going pretty well. My range has grown enough to sense people in a maybe 250-meter radius, and even more if I do the sensing version of squinting. It's a bit like a sixth sense, and really useful. Except when it gets really crowded, then it's really irritating.

I need to figure out some way to get used to this, and fast.

Chakra control is a little harder. Maybe it's because I'm a baby and don't have much chakra yet, but all I can get are a few wisps. They're solidifying though, and it's getting easier. I'll keep working on it.

Step 2: Figure out when exactly I am in the timeline.

This wasn't actually going very well, since knowing what year it is isn't very useful to me, and I don't really know enough about the Narutoverse to place myself with respect to important events.

I was thinking that I'd have to wait until I joined the ninja academy before I find out anything useful, when the heavens and whatever gods are up there decided to smile down at me.

It was actually a pretty normal day. We'd just had lessons and lunch, and I was picking through the disappointing selection of kiddy books when the doorbell rang.

Naturally, I stayed exactly where I was, close enough to have a good view of the door, but sort of hidden by the cupboard door. When the matron – Mako-san – opened the door, a ninja handed a baby over before starting to speak.

I wasn't quite close enough to hear what he was saying, so I tried to channel chakra to my ears, hoping it would work.

Chakrachakrachakra –yes!

" – died on the battlefield, mother in childbirth. His name is Momochi Zabuza." The he disappeared before Mako-san could shove the kid back in his face.

She looked down at the sniffling baby and rocked it a little, before he could start full out crying. Then she sighed.

"Better get you out of your soiled pants." Then she carted him off without glancing at me.

I was making my way back to my bed, book in hand, when it hit me.

That baby was Zabuza. Demon of the Mist, swordsman, Haku's idol.

I tripped over my feet.

Then another thought hit me as I stood up.

Baby Zabuza pooped his pants.

I walked into a wall.

And that was how I figured out where I was in the timeline.

-x- -x- -x-

Zabuza is, unsurprisingly, a grumpy baby.

I'm not even exaggerating. While he might grow up to be one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist or whatever, his best skill right now is spitting. In people's faces.

He has very good aim for a 7-month old.

Still, despite the babysitting duty I am assigned occasionally, he did help me complete step 2 of my dastardly Survive-the-Narutoverse-and-Maybe-Save-the-World plan, so I shall forgive both times he got spit in my hair.

Forgive, but never forget.

From what I remember- Thank you Naruto Wiki for saving my ass – Zabuza and Kakashi are approximately the same age. Which means that I'm in the era of cute little baby Kakashi, and the whole Obito gets crushed and spirited away to become Madara 2.0 happens in about 8 years.

As far as I know, Obito-Tobi-Madara was a major player who screwed up everything else, from the Kyubi attack to the Akatsuki.

I don't know enough, so if I actually want to change anything important, my best bet is to screw up something major early on. This is obviously not going to change everything, but it will change enough, and everything else will fall into place and probably be dealt with by Naruto.

So my grand plan boils down to:

Save Obito, save the world.

I'm quite pleased with it.

-x- -x- -x-

If I want to have any hope in hell of saving Obito and the world, I'm going to have to be a ninja.

I'll be joining the academy in a few years, but I'll only have a while there before I have to escape or be killed by Zabuza – who's just pooped his pants again- when he takes out all the students there.

So, step 3: Join the academy.

Step 4: Escape Kiri somehow and prevent Obito getting crushed in the Iwa ambush.

It is a very good plan. Except for, you know, the very obvious holes that I have no idea how to fill in.

8 years. I'm going to have to make them count.

-x- -x- -x-

Chakra is like nothing I've ever felt before. It's like heat and pressure and feelings and impressions all rolled into one, and it's everywhere.

People are the clearest. They are like stars in the night sky, crackling fires against the arctic tundra, graffiti on the walls. Color and emotion and feelings, and I can't look away.

It's a little like watching the same video footage through different filters, side by side and at the same time. Disconcerting, and more than a little weird. Sometimes it gives me a headache, and I have to focus on looking through my real, physical eyes, but the chakra sense is still always just there.

On the downside, the headaches and the amount of focus I need to function normally. On the bright side, I see everything. I see people. Through walls. And I can sort of tell how they're feeling and take a stab at guessing their personalities, even.

It's wicked cool.

Now, if only I could control my chakra…

-x- -x- -x-

Baby Zabuza is cute, I guess, with his fluffy black hair and almost permanent frown. Cute like some kind of wild animal – like a raccoon or weasel or mongoose. Maybe even a really angry cow. Technically cute and possibly squishy, but also likely scratch your face off or trample you.

I know I've mentioned his incredible spitting ability before, but it really does deserve a second mention. Possibly a third. Because thanks to his excellent aim, each successive baby-sitter has dumped him on someone younger, so instead of the thirteen-year-old girl Mako-san had originally dumped him on, I'm the one looking after drooling baby Zabuza.

That's right. Two-year-old me got barricaded in a corner with this mini-psychopath, with strict instructions to only call someone if we were dying or he needed his nappy changed.

It's ridiculous.

"I dub thee Za-chan," I say, and pat his head gingerly. He frowns and flaps his limbs like a turtle on its back, before finally rolling away from me.

Honestly, I know nothing about babies. But with the way Za-chan is rolling around, I wonder if he should be crawling yet. Maybe I should teach him.

There isn't really anything else to do anyway.

-x- -x- -x-

Za-chan picks up his new skill with ease. I'm not quite sure how to feel about that. I mean, it's great that I managed to teach a baby something, but it's also one step closer to murderous psychopath Zabuza who could quite possibly literally be the death of me.

Hey, there's a thought. Maybe I can teach him to not be a crazy murderous psychopath who kills his fellow students.

Yeah, and pigs can freaking fly. I don't think I'll have that much influence, but no harm trying anyway, right? It can't really get much worse.

Za-chan has also started making grabby hands and gurgling. He might be learning how to talk now, but I have no idea so I just keep reading aloud to him.

"And so Tako learned that friendships were useless and that he could only count on himself. After killing his traitorous teammates, he trained himself, aiming to be the strongest shinobi in the Land of Water, and to – hey, actually, what the hell is this drivel? This story sucks. Complete and utter crap." I shut the picture book – second in the Shinobi Strengths kid series – and bury it way at the back of the bookshelf, instead of the front where some poor, unsuspecting child might come along and get snookered by the crap inside.

After a moment's thought, I bury the rest of the series too. I've read them, and they're all about that lone wolf, bonds are useless, only strength matters shtick. Bo-ring. Instead, I pull the less objectionable books to the front. Stuff like Kiri History, Projectile Math, Kanji for Kids, and just to take up space, the entire Tiki, the Talking Cat Summon series.

It's not like I had a lot of options, okay?

Za-chan doesn't seem very impressed. But that's okay, because I'm bigger and older and he can't even use the potty, let alone a kunai or sword, so my opinion matters more at the moment.

He's crawled pretty far, so I spare a few moments to retrieve him and retreat to the cushion fort in the corner. Then I realize that… I don't actually have a lot of books memorized. And a lot of those I do can't be told to anyone else unless heavily edited to fit this world.

Ugh. So much effort. Time to wing it.

"A long time ago, in a, uh, land far far away, there lived a boy. In a cupboard. He had no friends and he lived with his evil relatives because his parents were dead. Uhm."

It's a good thing Za-chan doesn't really understand me, I guess.

-x- -x- -x-

Author's note:

Hi. Yes, it's me, and yes I have other fics I should be working on. But I've had plot bunnies like slapping me across the face, so I thought I should try and get something out before procrastination rears its usual ugly face.

Merry Christmas! I wanted to post something for Christmas, but I figured that at the rate I write, there was zero chance of posting an update for TONE or Ascension within the next 24 hours or so. So I took this and ran with it and ta-dah, here we are.

I actually have kinda big plans for this – I'm calling it the Flipside verse I think- and if I'm gonna be really honest, this isn't even the main focus of the verse. But it is the first one and the very beginning, and I think worth a read? I'm going in chronological order probably, so the next one won't come up until this is done. Which, knowing me and my writing/productivity, is probably going to take years.

I know people don't really like the SI/OC thing, but I'll do my best to make it bearable at least. Enjoyable? Hopefully. Sorry, but I really am basically this much of an idiot in real life.

If you're here because you follow my other fics, thanks so much for your support, I know this probably isn't what you wanted my next posted chapter to be, but I will… do my best to update my other fics. Yes.

So, thanks for checking this out, please do let me know what you think, and I'll see you around (hopefully soon._.) sometime!

Cya!