The Skype chat comes form the fic, national hot dad alliance is now calling... by dicaeopolis and owlinaminor. it doesn't make sense, but whatever, enjoy my shitty humour.

I'm planing on uploading every 2-3 weeks, just saying.

Once again, commenting on any errors you find in this, or ideas on how I can improve my writing or humour would be a great help.

Don't be afraid to request particular scenes, as I'm starting to run out of stupid situations I can put volleyball players in.

Many thanks for just reading my crap.

-Phoenix

September

September 1st

To be or not to be, that is the question.

Don't you love Shakespeare?

Kuroo, who's one of that cat guys, why does everyone else get mascots? Whatever, I can be our mascot if need be. Anyway, Kuroo kept skyping us Shakespeare and it was pretty good, so I thought I'd check it out.

I had already read some Shakespeare, so I thought I should read it in English, just to spice things up. And holy shit is it good, the translations don't do it justice, like, wow.

I showed Iwa-Chan, but he just grunted in his gorilla-like way, or maybe it should be godzilla-like…

I'm getting distracted, then I read the start of Romeo and Juliet to Makki and Mattsun, but they just laughed. Makki and Mattsun don't have particularly good English scores though, so they might not have understood.

After that, I showed it to Yahaba, who politely agreed that it was very nice and maybe if I kept sharing it with everyone they would appreciate it more. Now that I look back, I think he was just trying to get rid of me. Anyway, Watari managed to ask a few questions before he got bored, and none of the older players would listen to me.

They are all mean, I don't think I'll mention this on the Skype chat.

-Toru

September 2nd

So my sister is over, and is staying a week, which is great, because I hardly ever see her and my nephew is the cutest thing in existence! (Apart from maybe me, or Iwa-Chan.)

The great thing about having Sakura home, is she's the only other person in my family with any good fashion sense. Saki is also a fashion designer, so we spent all day shopping and catching up. Now I have this really cute alien beanie, I can't wait to show it to Iwa-Chan…. Not that he'd care ;-;

Bye-bye

Toru

September 3rd

So I spent most of today modeling some of Sakis clothes, most of them didn't fit, but this guy had wanted to cosplay as Kou from Free! and he had commissioned her uniform. We had very similar measurements, so Saki was getting me to help her finish it when Iwa-Chan walked in.

Now me and Iwa-Chan forgot about all the normal, polite things you do at others houses a while ago, so he walked into my room without knocking or giving any forewarning about his being there.

I was prancing round in the Iwatobi female uniform, and he was just like

"Toru, do you-"

And he stopped and went bright red. It was hilarious.

Saki, being Saki, said:

"Iwazumi, it's nice to see you again, don't mind Toru, he's just modeling something for me, go get changed Toru."

And Iwa-Chan was just like:

"Nah, it's ok."

So we spent the rest of the day working on the costume.

Iwa-Chan is surprisingly good at sewing.

I'm going to have to tease him about this later.

Bye-bye

-Toru

September 5th

So Iwa and I took Takaru to paintball today, they ended up on a team together, facing me and two guys from Fukurōdani, the annoying owl one and his deadpan loli boyfriend. There were about 20 people a team and Loli-Chan was rather good, but Bokoto kept giving away their position by yelling war cries or bad owl puns. (Iwa-Chan asked me how I knew his name after, honestly! I know volleyball players, why do you all think so little of me?)

Anyway, I snuck off to attack from behind, but Iwa-Chan and Takaru must have read my mind with their weird alien powers because they found me.

Takaru distracted me with his amazing cute nephewness, while Iwa-Chan snuck up on me and tackled me!

Now, while Iwa-Chan's arms are usually nice things that I do not mind being wrapped up in, they are not so nice when you are being pummeled with paint balls.

Takaru, the sadistic little shit I raised him to be, pelted us both with paintballs, took a picture to prove he has asserted dominance, then tried to prance over our slain bodies.

I say tried because he tripped and got a faceful of dust, Saki wasn't very happy about this.

Please nobody introduce him to Makki or Mattsun, or both...

Bye-Bye

-Toru

Ps: Needless to say, they won, the traitors.

September 7th

Today Makki and Mattsun announced they were trying to get on our good side after the tape incident. Well they didn't say that exactly, but they sauntered (yes, sauntered) up to us after practice one day all like:

"You know, Oikawa, Iwazumi, you two don't get enough credit, why don't we take you out to dinner?"

"Yah, nice romantic setting." (They both looked at Iwa-Chan here, weird.)

"It's like a double date, we'll pay."

This was also weird, because Makki and Mattsun aren't dating (yet).

Iwa-Chan was unimpressed, and opposed the idea, but I think it's a great way for the second years to bond, and I never say no to free food.

Or food brought with Iwa-Chans money, which is the same thing, because he would buy it for me if I asked, I just don't.

I digress.

Bye-bye

-Toru

September 10th

So after school today Makki and Mattsun took us out to McDonald's. Which was very classy of them, nice 'Romantic Setting' guys, A+.

I refused a burger, because it looked like cancer, and opted for fries. They were OK, kinda, but I stole a bite from Iwa-Chans burger (a lump of cheese, bun and something that might have been meat), and honestly, I wasn't missing out on much.

Anyway, halfway through the meal they winked at Iwa-Chan and went to the bathroom together.

The wink means they probably left to make out, I hope not, ditching your friends to get down and dirty in a McDonald's would be a new low.

Without Makki and Mattsun there to laugh at me we started to talk about how good Blerk's Escape was. Or rather, I talked and Iwa-Chan listened. He loves me too much to disagree (jk, I think he was just kinda done with the Attack of The Aliens series.)

Makki and Mattsun returned ten minutes later, so they were making out then, no rumpled clothes though, they have kept at least a little dignity.

They seemed to have been expecting something to have happened whilst they were pretending to go to the bathroom, perhaps Iwa-Chan was meant to confess his undying love for me, or maybe come out as sexuly attracted to tablecloths or something. Or Ronald McDonald should've started tap dancing.

On the subject of Ronald, don't tell anyone, but he is terrifying, like wow.

Moral of the story? Don't eat McDonalds burgers.

Bye-bye

-Toru

September 12th

Someone bought stole all the milk tea from the vending machine that's on the way to school. Iwa-Chan ran a whole block to get me some.

Sometimes I don't think I appreciate Iwa-Chan enough.

September 13th

I have changed my mind, Iwa-Chan refused to buy me milk-bread today, something about being 'broke', ugh.

Iwa-Chan does not deserve my appreciation.

September 14th

Maybe I can guilt Makki or Mattsun into buying me some, they are trying to be nice to me. I think. It's hard to tell with them.

September 15th

They are not trying to be nice to me. I am deprived, I am going through the five stages of grief.

September 16th

I have caved in and bought my own milk bread, a crises has been avoided, I am the bigger person.

Hopefully Iwa-Chan gets more money soon...

September 20th

Makki and Mattsun have started their 2.5th attempt to be our friends (the .5 is never to be mentioned ever, not even in a diary. I hate goldfish. I hate them so, so much.)

Now I think about it, the .5 is being demoted to a .47, because I can.

Anyway, they are currently being super nice to us and it's weird, I haven't been made fun of in two days.

Here's to not being lured into a false sense of security.

September 21st

I have been lured into a false sense of security.

They shoved us into a broom cabinet, I am disappointed in their unoriginality.

I had a broom poking into my back for a full half hour before they unlocked the door. It wasn't even the close proximity to Iwa-Chan that annoyed me, it was that broom!

Me and Iwa have been in… compromising positions before. One time a closet fell on us and we had to be rescued, I was stuck under him for twenty minutes, and Iwa-Chan is HEAVY.

There was also that time when we were stuck in an elevator for two hours, luckily neither of us are claustrophobic.

Sadly, we didn't seen Makki or Mattsun all day, I guess we'll have to kill them tomorrow.

September 23rd

I have been faced with 'coming out of the closet' jokes all day, I have dealt with these by proudly announcing I was bisexual to the whole team, honestly, I don't know why they were so surprised, girls are hot, guys are hot, it's no big deal.

September 29th

September has been a surprise, but it did deliver on its promise of more Iwa-Chan, and now we are united against a common enemy (Makki and Mattsun) he might go trick or treating with me this year, yay!

I mean, he usually goes anyway, but this time it might be easier to persuade him.

Maybe...

Bye-bye

-Toru