December

1st December

Oh my god I have a crush on Iwa-chan.

2nd December

Iwa-chan, why must you do this to me?! Why must I suffer this way?! Actually, you'd probably say I deserve it for having such a shitty personality…

Iwa-Chan! Why are you so mean to me?!

3rd December

Here's a story.

I once overheard some friends talking about relationships. One of them was asexual, and he was asking about the feelings that come with having a crush on someone. At the time I was confused, nothing that person described had happened to me, and I've had plenty of girlfriends.

But with Iwa-Chan, I get it.

I get the tightening in your chest, I understand the feeling of being around him. How happy I get, how I want him to never leave.

I catch myself thinking about him randomly, wondering what he's up to, who he's with.

I blush when we're getting changed after practice and I see him shirtless.

I get nervous when we go out for dinner because I keep comparing it to a date.

Basically, I'm a mess, I'm a love struck idiot, and it's only a matter of time before someone finds out.

They might already know, I have no idea how much of my diary was read, and I'm not exactly subtle.

-Toru

6th December

Sometimes, I think American cartoons are better than anime.

Yes, Suzumiya Haruhi no Yūutsu is great, and so is Toradora, Watashi ga Motete Dōsunda, I could go on. Once Iwa-Chan and I watched Madoka Magica together, he had already seen it and was in major hysterics by the time we reached episode 3 and I lost my shit.

Mean.

Anyway, most anime are great, (except for sports anime, I'm sorry, but they are so unrealistic.)

But have you seen Gravity Falls?

Steven Universe?

Adventure Time?

Rick and Morty?

Teen Titans?

Or how about anything from Disney or Pixar?

Or any other American studio.

Honestly, the west needs more appreciation.

-Toru

8th December

I need a pet to comfort me in my time of desperation.

Iwa-Chan has a cat called Sailor Pluto, (don't ask).

But Pluto's not very cuddly, and he's at Iwa-Chan's house, not mine.

Then again, my parents probably won't let me get another pet, not after what happened to Jeremy the canary.

And I guess this gives me an excuse to go over to Iwa-Chans house.

9th December

Just in case you were wondering, I still have a crush on Iwa-Chan, it is still horrible and I still haven't told anyone.

10th December

Maki and Mattsun cornered me after practice and interrogated me until I told them about Iwa-Chan.

I tried to bullshit my way through, but they weren't having it.

Long story short, they know, how do they know?

Did someone tell them?

Am I that obvious?

Does everyone know?

Does Iwa-Chan know?

I asked them this, and they laughed, and said Iwa-Chan was more oblivious than me, which was very rude, and very untrue.

I am spectaticly observant.

Maki and Mattsun then offered to help out with the whole Iwa-Chan thing.

I am already regretting saying yes to that, and they haven't even done anything yet.

-Toru

11th December

Christmas soon! I wanna go shopping, and get ugly sweaters, and spend my time watching bad holiday movies with Iwa-Chan, and baking gingerbread.

This is gonna be fun.

12th December

Iwa-Chan and I went to the doctor today to get my ankle checked on. I kept telling Iwa-Chan I was fine, but, well. Is it really hard to say no to him OK? He gets this really pouty face, and it should look stupid, but it just looks really cute. And I know he's just looking out for me and what is one doctor's appointment in the grand scheme of things?

He also promised to watch this alien documentary with me, that might have helped.

The doctor says that I have sprained my ankle, and it sucks, because the winter tournament is soon.

This is gonna be horrible.

15th December

Iwa-Chan carried me today. We were walking home after practice (because if I can't participate, I can watch.) I tripped and started limping, but Iwa just picked me up bridal style and kept walking.

I almost lost it, he was so close I could have kissed him, but I didn't, that would ruin our friendship.

I can't do that.

17th December

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

I got Iwa-Chan a band t-shirt because he's been pining after some of their merch for ages. And I got him some of his favorite chocolate, (dark, ick). His volleyball popped last week, so I got him another one, he also mentioned something about a game in Tokyo, so I'll look into tickets for that too. I don't actually remember what sport it was, because his muscles are really distracting.

19th December

Makki and Mattsun have started their plan to get Iwa-Chan and me together, so far it's just been suggestive comments and pushing me into his arms.

It's not much, but at least they think I have a chance.

Okay, who am I kidding? Why on earth would I think I have a chance with Iwa-Chan? Practically every other sentence he says to me is a degrading insult. He barely tolerates me as a friend half the time, let alone date me. Especially when there are so many other much nicer, prettier, people out there.

18th December

The team are having a bake sale to raise money for our next camp, remember how the other one was cut short?

Well, we need a few hundred more dollars to cover the cost of the new accommodation, as it's more expensive than the last place.

We didn't have practice today, and instead used the school facilities to bake.

I am not entirely sure if we are allowed to do that, but whatever.

Iwa-Chan and I are going to be manning the stall, me because of my incredible charisma and good looks, and Iwa-Chan to, and I quote, "Stop Oikawa from eating everything, or setting something on fire."

You light one table ablaze and suddenly you can't be trusted.

Honestly.

19th December

Guess who just became a model? This guy!

The company Sakura works for saw some of the photos she took earlier this year, and basically, now I work for them.

I start soonish, and apparently, I will be modeling with this blond basketball player. I don't know anything about basketball, but Iwa-Chan says he's good, so I'll take his word for it.

I'm kinda nervous, but now if my ankle never heals, at least I have this deal.

Iwa-Chan says it's stupid to have your backup career being modeling, but what else am I meant to do if my volleyball career falls through?

23rd December

I spent the last few days at Iwa-Chan's house, our families always throw a huge party for the neighborhood, and Iwas house is bigger.

We danced 'till dawn, and I almost kissed him.

Almost.

Let's talk about presents, shall we?

Iwa-Chan gave me a bunch of alien themed… stuff.

I am not kidding, It's just stuff,

Mugs, ties, towels, socks, pens...

I love it, and I will use them all.

He also gave me a month's worth of milk bread, which I have now eaten.

It's really good, OK?

Makki and Mattsun gave the whole team sweaters.

Mine has a flying saucer kidnapping some presents under a tree, Iwas says "HO, HO, HOMO."

Get it? It's funny because I love him and I stand no chance.

I knew letting them interfere with my love life was a bad idea.

25th December

I think I'll head into Tokyo soon, Tokyo's fun, I'm fun, let's go to Tokyo.

I'm fun, right? Right? Yah, I'm a fun person.

Tai-Chan was wrong, I'm fun.

You should never listen to cousins, they are all wrong.

I'm fun.

Right?

27th December

Iwa and I went to see La La Land in the weekend, in Tokyo, because I'm fun.

We ran into Koru-Cat and Kenma-Cat. Koru and Iwa-Chan started bashing me together, mean.

But Iwa-Chan had smuggled milk bread into the theater, and he is to pretty to be mad at for long.

The movie was OK, but not as good as Attack of the Aliens.

And I got to hold Iwa-Chans arm, he didn't even complain.

30th December

It has already been 5 months since I started this diary.

And what do I have to show for it?

Oh, right, I realized I'm in love with my best friend, and I'm too afraid to tell him.

Great.

Well not anymore, now is a time for new things, change.

Next year, I will tell Iwa-Chan how I feel, no matter what happens.

I will tell him.

I will.

I don't like this chapter as much, and I will come back to it later, when I am not half asleep.

I'll be taking a hiatus after chapter 6 to work on other stuff.

And to work on school, and perhaps to sleep.

All 12 chapters will be up when I write them, and when people want them.

Yada yada yada, read The Weird and Wonderful World of a Guy Named Matt. Thank you to the amazing and beautiful BlackSparkelsAndLeather, and to all of you who reviewed, or left a comment or whatever.

I'm dyslexic, forgive me.

The next one will be on time, maybe.

-Phoenix