10. Fear

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There were fuzzy images in my head, memories from when I volunteered at Cook County Hospital and when I was a patient. I knew this man. Even though I had yet to see anything beside the shocked expressionless mask currently on his face, I knew what he looked like smiling, and how he looked when he was distressed. I knew he was kind.

"Edward?" Bella asked, concerned. I could see myself through the others' eyes, that I had the same blankness on my face as Carlisle did.

I strained to remember his name, asking haltingly, "Doctor… Doctor Cuddin… no… Cullen? Doctor Cullen?"

"You remember me?" he asked. His voice was so familiar.

"Very little," I admitted distractedly. "Disjointed images, mostly. But your voice..."

Bits of memories were racing through his mind, though he seemed to be trying to stop them, recollections of me in my old-fashioned clothing, my hair trying to escape whatever I had used to smooth it down, smiling pleasantly as I was introduced to him; of watching me from a distance as I worked amongst the wounded and shell-shocked men; of me struggling to breathe in a hospital bed, face nearly black with the bruising common to Spanish influenza victims; of me laying on a narrow sofa, screaming…

And with that, I realized exactly why his voice sounded so familiar.

"You… were you… you were there when Tredan changed me?" I saw myself through his eyes, my expression turned to fear and panic as I began slowly moving backwards, my arm around Bella moving her with me. I had remembered him as kind, but how could that be so if he was affiliated with Tredan?

We weren't safe.

"Tredan?" he asked, sounding strangely afraid. "Edward, is that who took you?"

He knew Tredan. He knew him. Couldn't stay here. Not safe. Bella. Bella wasn't safe. I moved faster, pulling her with me.

"Edward?"

They were all talking, all thinking. Too much. A clamor. Jasper tried to take my terror. No. Not safe.

"Edward, wait!"

Bella stumbled. I caught her. Too roughly. Must be gentle. I put her on my back. Not safe.

"Edward, Tredan didn't change you! I did!"

Almost to the trees.

"Tredan wasn't there when I did it. I never knew who took you. I searched, but couldn't find you."

I slowed.

"Please, just let me tell you what I know, then you can leave if you still want to. Please, Edward."

I was calming, but I wasn't sure if it was due to Jasper's talent or Carlisle's desperate sincerity. Perhaps both. Bella's gasping breaths were hot against my neck.

"Bella?" I demanded. The tinge of fear in my voice angered me. I knew better than to show emotion.

"We won't hurt her," Carlisle promised. "I swear it, Edward. She's safe with us."

I stood there undecided, still inclined to just turn and run. If it was only me perhaps I would stay, but I had Bella to consider.

Alice spoke up, her voice tremulous. "Edward, if you make the decision to stay I can show you what will happen. That way you can know for certain she'll be safe."

"I can change my mind if I want to?" I still didn't know what talents the others had.

"Of course," she said gently. "No one will make you do anything you don't want to do."

I instinctively checked everyone's minds to verify that, and while there was nothing to contradict it I was genuinely surprised at what I did find. Emotions were high, running the gamut from distress to fury, but all of it was on my behalf. Carlisle was frightened I would leave, Jasper was mentally weary from fighting my terror, and they both were angry about how I must have been treated to panic so. Alice and even Rosalie were shaken. Esme was nearly crying, thinking over and over, What did that creature do to him? That monster; what did he do? Emmett was at the other end of the spectrum, his jaw and fists clenched even as he cradled Rosalie against his chest, his mind fixed on all the different ways he wanted to exterminate Tredan.

"Too late," I said. Everyone looked at me, confused. "I already destroyed him."

"Good," someone snarled viciously. I was shocked to realize it was Esme.

"Amen to that," Bella muttered into my skin. Alice and Rosalie growled their agreement.

There was a long silence, then Emmett began to chuckle. "He's lucky he's already dead, 'cause I don't think he'd want our women unleashed on him. Us guys could just stand around and watch, maybe catch the little pieces. It would be awesome!"

As usual, his amusement eased the tension. I tentatively decided to stay and saw the visions in Alice's mind: all of us standing as Carlisle talked, then sitting, Bella wrapped in a blanket and nibbling on crackers while the conversation continued.

"Very well," I said. "We'll stay to hear what you have to say. But you all remain over there." I crouched so Bella could easily get off my back and told her to take off her jacket so I could check her arm where I'd grabbed her to stop her fall. She resisted, of course, but after a minute of fruitless arguing she sighed in exasperation and complied.

I pushed up the short sleeve of her shirt and then shut my eyes, the distinct blue handprint on her skin dancing behind my lids. I released her as though she burned me.

"Stop it, Edward."

I didn't reply. What was there to say? I had hurt her. She began tugging on the front of my shirt, and I allowed her to pull me down so she didn't further injure herself in the attempt. When I felt her breath on my face I opened my eyes to see her glowering at me from three inches away.

"It's just a bruise," she insisted slowly. "I'm fine."

"I hurt you."

She cast her eyes up to heaven, looking supremely irritated. "If I'd hit the ground it would have hurt worse. For crying out loud, stop worrying."

"Are you certain it doesn't hurt? I didn't injure you anywhere else?"

"I'm fine!"

"Dude, she just used that arm to yank on your shirt so it can't hurt that much." Emmett pointed out.

She's not in any pain, Jasper confirmed. She is getting plenty aggravated with you though.

I sighed in defeat and held her jacket up so she could slide her arms back into the sleeves. "I'm sorry." There were so many different ways she could take that, so many things I was sorry for. I assumed she would think I was apologizing for upsetting her, but somehow she knew exactly what I meant.

She pulled me back down, this time with her warm hand behind my neck, and kissed me. "I know you didn't intend to hurt me, Edward."

I rested my forehead against hers, wishing I didn't need her so much, that I could do the best thing for her and let her go. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I could hear the smile in her voice. She must be crazy, smiling about a loving a creature like myself.

Amazing, Carlisle thought. She isn't afraid of him at all. Even though he's a—

I knew what I was, what we all were, and cut him off. "No. She never has been. A little cautious at first, but never afraid."

Esme sighed happily, her mind filled with romance, and I barely refrained from snorting. Our story was hardly the stuff of legend.

"Amazing," Carlisle repeated. He gave himself a mental shake. "Well. Shall I begin?"

"I have a question first, if I may."

"Of course, Edward." You can ask me anything.

"I know of Alice and Jasper's, but what other talents does your coven possess?" I didn't want to be taken surprise by anything.

"None."

"None?" I asked incredulously. "What of your own talent? You must have one."

He chuckled. "I assure you, I don't."

That was impossible. Alice had said that she and Jasper "found" the Cullens, and the context implied that they had intentionally sought out Carlisle's coven. As powerful as they were, what incentive could they have possibly had to do so if there were no other talents in the coven? There was nothing in the others' minds to indicate that Carlisle was lying; in fact, most of them were wondering why I was so certain that he was talented.

Only Jasper understood. I know it doesn't make sense yet, he thought. I didn't understand at first either; I only stayed because Alice wanted to. Just give him time, and you'll understand why he's worth following.

I nodded at Jasper infinitesimally. "Very well," I told Carlisle. "What do you know of my transformation?"

A/N: Sorry to those I told Carlisle would get to explain this chapter, but there was so much going on with Edward that it got too long. Kind of like this day- too long and too much going on. ;) Thanks for the reviews, favs, follows, etc. Next chapter on Wednesday!